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Reviews
Hit Man (2023)
Great movie
Let me preface by saying that I've started to rate movies on IMDB in a binary fashion.
Should you watch it (10)
Run the other way (1)
I do this because trying to give a movie any other rating seems too arbitrary to me.what is a six versus and eight?
My recommendation is black or white. Yes or No.
This movie is a YES.
This is a great date movie. The story is fun, the chemistry between the two main characters is palpable. The actress is absolutely gorgeous, which doesn't hurt. There's some laughs, and some sexy times, and some good plot developments.
The fact that it's a true story (basically) makes it even more enjoyable.
SPOILER/GOOF
Jasper never takes a swig of the poisoned beet at the end.
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023)
The story spans several years, and is told in real tim.
It's kinda like the TV show "24" where everything happens real time. It's excruciating. I think my favorite part, is at some point in the first few years, the female lead says, "we need to just sit and be quiet". Thank goodness they slowed it down a bit.
My dog had just had surgery and it was dumping outside. We were so excited to have the perfect conditions for this opus.
We made it about 2.5 hours before giving up. Nothing had happened by then, and I literally had nothing else to do, but I went and did it instead.
To be clear, I don't mind long movies and have loved many of Scorsese films . But the key part of a movie is something has to MOVE.
Brutal.
The Kill Room (2023)
Have a 10 to adjust the curve
This movie is probably at 6.5.
But I gave it a 10 to offset the fools who gave it a 1.
They're wrong.
Sure , it's not Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill (or Kill Bill 2), but it's still pretty entertaining. I'd bet that some of the low ratings came from the exact people the movie was mocking. Artsy, fartsy,'seen to be scenesters who think so highly of themselves. Basically, most New Yorkers.
Uma a good, not great. Samual L Jackson is exactly the same as usual. The hit men and mobsters all played their roles to the letter.
But to me, the supporting cast of art collectors, critics, and gallery owners stole the show. Spend some time around artists and galleries in New York and see if you agree .
Enjoy. We did.
Champions (2023)
Everything you expect
Yes, it's everything you'd expect, which of course means there are no real surprises. But that's fine, you're not watching this movie to get challenged or to do too much thinking. This movie is all about the feels, and it delivers.
Of course, all the supporting cast are inspiring and you can tell that they had fun making this movie.
Of course, Woody nails his part as always.
But the female lead was my favorite character. She's beautiful, snarky, and has some great one liners.
Kudos to the writers for some very witty lines.
Kudos to the directors for creating a simple gameplan, drawing it up in practice, and nailing the execution.
Oh yeah, it also has Cheech!!!
Kill Shot (2023)
You know how some movies are so bad, that they're good
This is not one of those movies.
It's just bad.
But I still watched it, because apparently I'm a glutton for punishment. The dialog is absolutely absurd. The hand to hand combat is actually adorable it's so puffy.
And the gunfights??
As stated, these bad guys make Stormtroopers look like olympic marksmen.
The only reason I gave it three stars was because they deserve credit for understanding the main assignment.
Show Rachel Cook with as little clothes as possible, as often as possible.
Also, why didn't they take the motorcycles when they killed those two guys? I guess the movie would've been too short.
Firefly Lane (2021)
Came in with a blank slate
Never read the book or even heard of it.
The acting was amazing. I bought into every character.
The writing was clever. So many great episodes that followed a theme over the decades/their lifetime. The multidimensional storyline flowed very well.
The casting was spot on. The young actors definitely looked like the past. The young Marah featured at the end was downright spooky. (You'll get that joke in season 2)
The directing/editing was brilliant. I love clever transitions, and they nailed it. Refrigerator door opens it's 2003, it closes and we're back to 1976.
I'm a 250 lb dude who usually prefers explosions and boobies, but I cried my eyes out to this one.
Well done.
Reacher (2022)
The acting is so pathetic...
I'm actually entertained by trying to figure out who is the worst of them all.
It literally feels like a local community theater troupe got some money to make a movie. Every character is unbelievable, and the lines are delivered so monotone you wonder if it's actually meant to be on purpose. The dialogue is unrealistic, and we all know Reacher is bulletproof and such, because we've read the books....but why would a 5'7" scrawny little runt square off in him thinking he has a chance?
I'm heartbroken because I was really looking forward to this.
Read the books, don't bother with this garbage.
Oldboy (2013)
I can see why many gave this a low rating but they're wrong.
I gave it an 8 to help with the curve. It's probably a 7, but again, it's needs some padding. I won't spill the spoiler but I can definitely see how this movie made many people squeamish.
Rather than tap dance around that, I'll discuss how cool the flashback/reenactment scenes were done. While regaling the Past, the current characters are in the scenes ala "it's a wonderful life" vibe. Very entertaining.
Brolin is great. This movie is dark and perverse. If that doesn't scare you, enjoy.
Enemy (2013)
Just terrible
This is one of those films that thinks it's artsy, but it's all fartsy. A complete waste of time. Pointlessness. Slow. Indulgent. No conclusion.
The script was probably under 10 pages long. It's mostly a bunch of silence, brooding, staring, and I just can't make this more clear. Stay away .
Also, there's spiders. For no reason.
Nash Bridges (1996)
Watch for the cameos and inside humor alone
I mean, one episode had Chong and the other guy from Miami Vice (Sonny) on as another duo.....With Meatloaf as the villain?!?! That's hilarious.
One episode, Sammy Hagar as a bartender with one line. "What are you drinking?" Then he's just in the back washing glasses for the scene.
One episode Ron Jeremy as a witness. Classic.
Also, the show is great.
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Pretty much what you expect.
I'm not sure if it's fair for me to write a review of this movie, as I turned it off after what seemed like an endless combat scene and zero logic. It's got all the ingredients of a good popcorn movie: family touches, a hero, the comic sidekick, bad guys, and some one liners. If you have two hours to kill and nothing better to do, then this is your flick.
I had something better to do.
Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer (2021)
A really loooooong Forensic Files Episode
I'm a crime show fanatic. I could watch Forensic Files, 48 Hours, etc all day. So I was stoked for this series.
I was so bored I started reading the spoiler reviews who recommended skipping to the last episode. That helped, but it was still intolerable.
Santa Jaws (2018)
If I could give it an 11/10 I would.
My life is now bookmarked by the time I wasted BEFORE Santa Jaws, and how I'm plan to live j by or that I know Santa Jaws exists.
It's Christmas Day and if a Tattoo Parlor was open today, my whole family would be getting SJ tattoos.
Word that could illustrate the brilliance that is Santa Jaws, have not been created yet.
Free State of Jones (2016)
Solid movie. Beginning to end.
Acting was great, story was amazing, and the fact that it played along with actually history was something I didn't know when I started the flick.
There's some pretty heavy violence and animal abuse, but war is hell.
Definitely recommend it.
American Wisper (2020)
If this was a spoof, they nailed it.
So slow, so bad,, so poorly written, directed and acted, but actually I laughed often. It was excruciating to watch the awkwardness and the cops are so cliche it's unintended comedy.
The big payoff the other high reviews are referring to, (presumably the families of the actors/writers or the cast themselves) is in the last 15 minutes.
My advice
Watch up to the crime scene and about one cop interrogation, then skip to the epiphany scene and play out. It'll still seem like an eternity, but you'll thank me.
The Gentlemen (2019)
Loved it.
I just love this style of movie. Sure it's contrived and you can tell when you're being had, but as far as being entertained, they nailed it.
Murder on Middle Beach (2020)
Well is was slow, but at least it was pointless too.
This is basically a whodunnit that never finds out who done it. A joke without a punchline, sex without the finish, etc.
But at least it was boring too.
Skip it/you're welcome.
Backstabbing for Beginners (2018)
Interesting, and infuriating.
I liked it. Not too slow, good info, some cool footage interacting with dramatization. Ben Kingsley always nails it.
Styx (2018)
Soooooo slooooooooow
If you like movies that have long, sloooooow scenes with absolutely nothing happening, this is for you. Anyone else, move on.
Mile 22 (2018)
Straight to video game.
I have used IMDB several times a week for several years. This was the movie that finally made me creare an account. It is TERRIBLE.
I literally felt like I was watching a video game. Your time would be better spent doing anything, and I mean anything else.