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Mojnmand
Reviews
Kollegiet (2007)
Sooooo bad!
I went to the cinema a few days ago to watch the movie with my girlfriend. We were both very disappointed. "Kollegiet" is a cheap, not-at-all-scary Danish version of The Ring. And that's it! There's a few shock effects, but the movie is not scary, creepy or eerie at all! I like to compare this piece of junk to Crocodile Dundee - which actually is a movie I like.. Crocodile Dundee has one shock effect, and that's when the crocodile jumps out of the water to grip Linda Koslowski. You might get a shock, because a calm setting is suddenly replaced by loud music and sudden action. But that doesn't mean Crocodile Dundee is a scary movie. It's the same thing with Kollegiet. There's a few shock effects, but it's just not a scary movie. At all! What can be said about the performances given by the actors? Well...nothing good, that's for sure. They are hard to relate to and they seem fake. You never feel you know the characters, and therefore you don't care about them.They are just without any depth what so ever! Kollegiet was a waste of my money, and even worse, a waste of my time.
Viva la Bam (2003)
By far the worst show ever to appear on TV!
This is by far the worst and most stupid show I have ever seen on TV. It is almost physically painful to watch an adult (well in his twenties) doing nothing but torture and mock his parents, who always seem to have no clue what so ever about the stunts they are forced to endure by their dimwitted son and his equally stupid friends. Of course I know his parents are in on it, but I really hate how they always act like they are caught completely by surprise. It seems fake through and through. And I really hate the intro of the show, in which a voice over asks "Bam Margera, what WILL he think of next?!?!" (I think that's how it is, anyway), and Bam himself answers: "Whatever the f^*k I want!" - WOW! Bam is really a hell raiser - living at home with mum and dad! -of course the word "f^*k" is replaced with a tasteful beep, but we get the message. Bam is the real deal rebel - at least in his own eyes. Of course Bam and his posse of numb sculls aim at an audience of teenage boys, and of course it's a MTV show, but please, raise the bar a little. It's painfully predictable and stupid, and therefore nothing but boring.
Blade (1998)
Well.........
.........I don't really know what to make of this. I usually like vampire movies, and I wouldn't say "Blade" is a complete waste of time. It just isn't great. It lacks the eerie feeling you get from watching Coppola's Dracula, and it lacks the charm of for example "The Lost Boys". That aside, "Blade" is mildly entertaining, but there are some major flaws - at least in my eyes. First of all, I have a major problem with the whole "pure blood vs. unpure blood- thing". Vampires are not born. They are transformed. They are damned creatures. Just like in "Dracula". Period. End of discussion! Second: Why is Blade able to walk around in the streets without anybody giving him a second glance? A big black guy with sunglasses, a very visible sword strapped to his back and an outfit that would make Batman jealous.... and nobody seems to notice that the same Blade beats up a police officer in the street in the middle of the day! People don't react until Blade has a gigantic gun in his hands! Come on.... And what about Frost throwing that little girl across the street and through some sort of glass object? She doesn't have a scratch afterwards?!?! That's nothing but a miracle! And Blade just tells her to go home - alone! She has just been at the mercy of a vampire, she looked very scared, she was thrown across the street, and the hero just tells her to go home. What a hero! And the final scene in which Blade defeats the blood god a ka Frost... that's just too easy! I mean it's a god he is battling here! A he defeats it with garlic essence! In conclusion: Mildly entertaining, but too many flaws to be a great vampire flick.
Cast Away (2000)
Weird!
This is a weird story. Tom Hanks is a time neurotic guy who is very busy. Then he gets on a plane, and the plane crashes. Okay, fine! Then what? Unfortunately the island he finds himself stranded on is unpopulated. So far, so good. Now the story turns into a classic man versus nature- story. That's fine and dandy, because this theme is very relevant since Mr. Hanks is portrayed as this time neurotic guy, who always seems to be hung up on what time it is and how much he has to do before this and that, and now he has to go back to basics and live off the land... ZZZZZZZZZZZZ.......... Now the weird part starts. He turns into a madman!!! He becomes indeed VERY friendly with a volleyball. A BALL! This is not natural!(Unless somebody has paid good money to promote Wilson- volleyballs.) He is more attached to that one ball than to his own very naturally attached balls, and that's just weird! I don't care that he is lonely and has been so for 4 years. You just don't make friends with a ball, and you certainly don't name it! I only want to give it 3 out of 10 because my mates and I once had a laugh about that best- friends- with- a- volleyball- part. Other than that it was just plain boring. If you like Hanks, watch something else. I recommend "Turner & Hooch".
The Karate Kid (1984)
Too cool!
Actually, this is the story about an old Asian geezer, who takes advantage of a kid, who is a weak nerd. He finds out about the kid's obsession with karate, and then he has the kid do all sorts of house work. The kid gets to wash and wax the old man's cars, for example. But that aside, it's just too cool! You've got your evil karate master, bad boys with bandannas and dirt bikes, an embarrassing mom, a blond California girl with a Muslim boy's name (Ali - I never quite got that... Why isn't she named Heather or Jenna or Amber or something like that? - I thought American girls were supposed to have that kind of names..), and of course... A GREAT soundtrack! Only one more thing to add... VIVA LA eighties! Watch this movie with a few mates, a large pizza and at least a couple of six packs of beer. Cheers and enjoy!