Opinate Reviews

Mutant Vampires from the Planet Neptune (2021)

Needs an editor. Deserves to be a better paced film.

[6/10 · 24 October 2023]

Full disclosure: I did not finish this film because I don't have the time to sit through all the overlong dialogue and dolly shots to get to the next good bit. But if you don't mind a bit of lull I urge you to check out this otherwise super fun indy movie. It has lots of laughs and some good character (the autistic sister is really good) and some originality. I just wish someone would do an edit on it so it would become the well-paced, fun-packed film it deserves to be. I would not feel like my money was wasted on a shorter more concise film.

But overall good effort and above all, fun content!

Josh Johnson: Up Here Killing Myself (2023 TV Special)

Great comedy special

[8/10 · 18 February 2023]

Josh Johnson Up here Killing Myself was a super pleasant surprise for me. I thought I knew most of the good comics out there, but this guy is one to watch.

This is the first time I have ever seen or heard of Josh Johnson but I am sure it won't be the last. This guy has great timing, delivery, he's relatable and his stories and humor are hilarious. I think even Millennials will like him. He doesn't go low.

I looked him up - he has written for some of the big late night shows so he's been around, but he should definitely be in front of the audience.

Love his style and I can't wait to see more from him.

All Creatures Great and Small (2020– )

Disney/Hallmark version of All Creatures for Millenials

[5/10 · 5 January 2023]

When I saw season one of this new version of All Creatures I was pleasantly surprised. The casting is good and the production is high value.

As the episodes slid by I began to miss the hijinks that made the first version of this show so memorable, enjoyable, and characterful. Gone from the new version are the drink-fests, the many humiliations James and Tris suffer at the hands of the staunch farmers, vets and pet owners. Gone is most of Sigfried's volitile yet lovable personality that Robert Hardy portrayed so expertly, gone is James' difficulty as an outsider fitting in with his surroundings.

The fun and spark that make Al White's books so endearing, that take us back to another time and place have been whitewashed from this new series leaving a bland, if somewhat still charming, one-dimensional version of the material.

I had to go back and watch all the original series to make sure I was not being unduly harsh on this new version and the entertainment level of the old shows is beyond comparison. They are so much better.

I think the new humans that are now making the decisions in our entertainment industry grew up being told humour at the expense of others is the root of all evil, having a drink at the pub is sub-human, and that people must all be portrayed as nice and considerate at all times and everyone must have complicated backstories so we can understand their pain (Mrs Hall was much more interesting on the first version - I couldn't care less about her son or his issues) are forgetting the first rule of storytelling: you must put your characters through hell to show their personalities. Leaning on backstory tells us in a boring way but seeing characters go through the ringer and seeing how they react to their problems is how we will get to know and love them.

All of the actors do a great job with the limited material they have, the location and sets are beautiful, but the over-all experience is very Hallmark. I think Al White (Herriot) would be disappointed.

The Eternal Daughter (2022)

Haunting exploration of grief, loss, relationships.

[8/10 · 27 December 2022]

No, it's not a horror film and if it is billed as such horror fans will be severely disappointed when they spend time and money on this drama.

Eternal Daughter is a slow, moving, heart-felt exploration of mother-daughter relationships, shades of memory and the grief and despair of losing a loved one.

As such, it is a beautiful, moving film and I encourage anyone in the mood for a gothic, haunting, superbly acted and executed film to go see it!

Tilda Swinton is such a great actress and this role was made for her. The direction is perfect. The location moody and remote which adds a delicious layer of creepiness.

The Outfit (2022)

Superb film in every way.

[8/10 · 2 August 2022]

This slow burning story unfolds over the course of a night, going from a beautiful take on an expert craftsman into a twisty characterful boil.

It is not a thrilling FX film, so do not expect that. It is more like a stage play unfolding through character and well written story. Mark Rylance displays his usual underplayed expert acting. I hope he wins some awards for this.

If you like great acting, great character and great story give The Outfit a try.

The Old Man (2022– )

Blah blah blah, change location, blah blah blah

[3/10 · 1 August 2022]

This started out well but by ep 5 all anyone does is sit or walk or eat and talk.

The dialogue is ridiculous with no sense of reality or character. The woman Jeff Bridges drags along with him is so irritating with so much baggage I do not understand why a focused, ruthless man with a daughter to save would bother with her. Oh! (They explain) It is because she is so talented at seeing cracks in people. Just absurd.

Also the ghost woman that keeps talking at him. He may be an old action hero but he sure has a weakness for harpies. (I'm a woman, so don't cancel my review because I detest these weak woman characters.)

I love Jeff Bridges and Lithgow, and Alia Shawkat is amazing, but even they cannot save this horribly written series. I think FX must have tried to recoup their money up front by stretching the number of episodes out so they could play more commercials rather than letting the material decide the length.

Save yourself. Do not get dragged along in hopes of a better outcome.

Black Bird (2022)

All stars go to Paul Walter Hauser and Greg Kinnear

[6/10 · 26 July 2022]

It is hard to believe this is Dennis Lehane who brought us Mystic River and so many good projects.

This series suffers from absurd story lines and a creepy lead in Taron Egerton.

Sepideh Moafi's performance is confusing at best. Why is she so angry? Why is she crying? I have no idea.

THE GOOD: The standout performance and reason to watch this series is Paul Walter Hauser, who steals every scene. It really is worth a watch just for that.

Greg K is good as is always.

After five episodes I am still watching but I have no idea why.

Metal Lords (2022)

Much needed fun with loads of humanity.

[8/10 · 11 July 2022]

If you like this genre (teen pics, comedy, bildungsroman, rock pics) you will like this movie. It was a huge surprise to me - I was expecting a lame slightly funny pic but was given the gift of laughter, I fell in love with the three lead characters, and came away feeling like this is my favourite pic of 2022.

I cannot say enough good things about Jaeden Martell. He is charismatic and charming. The two supporting actors, Adrian Greensmith. And Isis Hainsworth are wonderful too. I hope to see more from all three of them. I am sure they all have great careers ahead.

So if you are looking for a funny, deep, perfectly directed film, do yourself a favour and watch this one.

Laguna Ave (2021)

Great little indie. Well shot and directed, full of laughs.

[7/10 · 29 March 2022]

I was surprised by this great little film - it has great character, it's well directed, strange and surprising.

It's like coming across "Eraserhead" back in the day. A true delight to find.

It's goofy and fun and I urge you to see it if you like a little silly drug-filled fun. I hope to see more from these guys.

Shepherd (II) (2021)

Good, solid horror. Not a thriller.

[7/10 · 27 February 2022]

I was pleasantly surprised by this film since I did not go in expecting much due to the low ratings and negative reviews.

If you like old-style, cerebral, slow-building horror I urge you to give this film a look. The cinematography is luscious, the location is stark and beautiful (Scottish Hebrides) and the acting is great. The imagery is profound.

No, it isn't a thrill-a-minute scare-fest but it is a worthy well-crafted film.

Give it a shot.

Spencer (2021)

Best comedy I have seen in 2022.

[1/10 · 16 January 2022]

If you loved Princess Diana do yourself a favour and do not watch this ridiculous mess.

I was not a fan of hers, but even her harshest critic would not think she was the idiotic, crazy, child-woman portrayed in this piece. The real woman had more guts, more brains, and more love for her children. The crazy fool worrying and waking her kids in the middle of the night does not seem like the caring mother she was.

Okay, so it is a piece of fantasy, but who is it serving? Surely not her fans. Was it meant as a nasty insult to everyone portrayed? I just don't get it.

This movie feels like it was written by a man who does not understand a complex woman. Who sees Diana as a 'weak' woman.

There are many good actors in this movie, although they don't have much to work with, (Sally Hawkins, Sean Harris, et al) and the cinematography is beautiful. Magnificent colour, costumes, and scenery.

The rest? Just absurd.

K Stew is outrageously insipid as the fallen Princess.

I have never seen anything like this performance before. It is truly hilarious! So if you like bad acting, you might want to watch Spencer just for that.

It is as if Stewart watched a seconds' worth of Diana speaking one sentence (in a whisper - pushing out the first word and letting the rest peter out behind it like a soft, weak bellows) and said to herself, "Kay, I've got it! Let's roll!" Then she delivered every single last line in the exact same way. Diana did actually have an 'outside' voice that was quite strong at times.

K Stew is a beautiful, brave person. What she is not is a good actor. I wish she would just stop. Become a model or something. Or take some acting lessons.

Until then, I will continue enjoying her comic performances.

Annika (2021– )

A bit of humour, a bit of mystery, a bit of character. Good, light watch.

[6/10 · 2 January 2022]

If you like a bit of light detective entertainment that is fun and easy to watch, give Annika a try.

The only drawback is the main character's affect gets a little old if you are binging the show, but it will probably hold up as fresh and fun in smaller doses.

The Fleabag-esque breaking of the fourth wall is fun, but if you want more serious fare best give this a miss.

Red Rocket (2021)

Another great film by Sean Baker.

[8/10 · 29 December 2021]

Sean Baker is quickly rising to the top of my favourite directors list. His movies are so quiet and unassuming, yet they linger in my mind for days and days.

He tells stories about real people living in real America that resonate against fluffy films with forced morals and shiny stars who live in perfect houses.

Red Rocket tells the truth of a seedy character who is both charismatic (to those who are naive enough and needy enough to buy into him) and repugnant in his self-serving narcissism.

Not much happens in this film but I was not bored for a second of it. The characters are so well played and well conceived it is riveting.

Bravo Mr. Baker! Please keep making brilliant movies.

Last Looks (I) (2021)

Enjoyable fun and characterful whodunnit.

[7/10 · 28 December 2021]

If you don't go in expecting too much there is lots to enjoy in this behind the scenes of a movie studio murder. It doesn't take itself too seriously and has lots of licks of a film noir, but a much lighter mood.

I liked it. Probably not enough to watch over and over, but it works as a piece of solid entertainment, and hits the right buttons to make for an entertaining frolic.

Hunnan was standout - I have never seen him in anything but enjoyed his performance. Gibson was good, as usual, if a bit over-the-top with his British accent. But it fit the caricatured mood of the film so it's all good.

Last Night in Soho (2021)

I love Edgar Wright but found this annoying. Needs a hard edit. Too many distracting spinning plates with nothing underneath.

[5/10 · 19 November 2021]

It is heartbreaking to see a director who has brought us so much joy and humour in the past turn to over-used tropes and slick bells and whistles instead of good 'ole story and character.

Aside from the obviously gorgeous filmic qualities - the music, the colour, the costumes - there didn't seem to be much to "Last Night," and nothing I haven't seen a thousand times before.

I just didn't care about anything in it. I don't think the excellent actors involved had anything to cling on to in terms of script or character development. (Although I thought Michael Ajao, the dude from Attack the Block, was the standout. I'd like to see more of him.)

This film was slow to start, then the minute I felt engaged (mean girl against our country sweetie, possible love interest) it flipped the script then it just got repetitive and 'tricksy' until I was bored with the whole thing and ceased to care about any of it. When the reveal finally happened it was spoken - told by Diana Rigg. It would have been more effective if Ellie had uncovered or had seen it for herself instead of being told.

All the vagaries would have been fine if the film didn't feel so all-over-the-place. Instead of a creepy mood it felt very 'spinning plate' look over here - no look over there!

It would be interesting to see if something could be made of this film with a tight edit. Lose the first fifteen minutes, cut huge chunks of running through the streets and repetitive dreams.

Groomed (I) (2021)

Good doc with great insights on how pedophiliacs groom children.

[7/10 · 27 September 2021]

I am better informed after watching this insightful doc by a fresh new filmmaker. For years I wondered how parents of kids who were groomed could possibly allow a pedophile into their lives but now I understand exactly how it happens.

Every parent should watch this doc.

The Cleaner (2021– )

Ridiculous, light and also a bit dark, funny, not serious.

[6/10 · 11 September 2021]

I loved the first ep - Greg Davies is his giant sarcastic self and HBC was a total surprise. Loved the musical number - too absurd for words.

It probably won't play to the grumpy highbrow crowd, but if you want a bit of light silly fun and like Mr. Davies give it a shot.

Karen (I) (2021)

TV movie quality, could be a good concept in someone else's hands.

[4/10 · 4 September 2021]

Anyone who has neighbours should be able to identify with some of the events in this C grade movie.

I watched it because of all the bad reviews - wanted to know what they were on about.

The concept has the potential to be exploited by better filmmakers for sure.

The drifting camera work is irritating - keeps reminding you there's someone with a camera shooting the actors. Other than that its not terrible - but neither is it great.

Karen (the character) is sufficiently awful that you might stick to the end to see if she finally gets what's coming to her.

Look, it's not Citizen Cane, but I can see why it would hit home for some too. I finished it.

Mr. Corman (2021)

Not what I can watch right now.

[4/10 · 20 August 2021]

I might give this a higher rating in different times but in 2021 it feels annoying and depressing.

I liked the first episode.

The clanging in the second episode was so absurd I had to turn it off.

Tried the third episode and just couldn't get through it either. The characters complaining whining at one another instead of just getting on with it? It feels more like Millennial mentality than what older folks can relate to. I'm too old to listen to all the discontent and watch characters sitting around moaning. I need actions - I need the character to at least try to solve his problems.

If you want watchers to stick with you through all the anxiety and trauma you need to bring a little relief with some levity and humor.

I don't have the hours in my life to devote to such an unremitting darkness and annoying anxiety-inducing content.

Promising Young Woman (2020)

Thelma & Louise for this generation.

[10/10 · 18 August 2021]

I think this is the first 10/10 review I have ever given but this movie deserves it in spades.

It is beautiful to look at, fun and horrifying at the same time, and takes on a topic that we'd all rather look away from than confront. (Just ask anyone in Hollywood during the 90s. Everyone knew about Harvey Wienstein but it took a groundswell of women to take him down.)

My longer, more thoughtful review was taken down (probably by some incel.)

IMDB is turning into a severely angry and disturbing place.

The North Water (2021)

Great ingredients but a less than perfect outcome.

[6/10 · 14 August 2021]

This mini-series has lots to offer: great acting from Farrell and Graham, and authentic locations and period, but the story is unfocused and there are so many themes thrown around I just couldn't decide what the point was.

What starts out to be a fraud sparks a murder and a chase, it's a hunt and a survival piece, with almost equal footing given to flashbacks that do nothing to drive the story, it's an odyssey and a sermon and so many other things.

In the end no one theme was strong enough to pull me in. Instead it felt like a confused jumble of high ideas thrown together.

Yet it is perhaps worth watching for the scenery and the acting. Or just watch a nature doc on the Arctic.

Bottle Monster (2020)

No. Nope. Please no.

[1/10 · 3 August 2021]

This feels like a grad-student film. It might impress at college because it looks good and has not-terrible production quality but the acting, writing and horror elements are abysmal. Even funny.

If you like listening to amateur kids garage band demos or enjoy watching other people's bad youtube videos, or your nine-year-old nephew's wonky animation, maybe you should check this out but if you are looking to be entertained for an hour or so don't bother.

The Beast Must Die (2021– )

Jared Harris is excellent. The rest is not.

[5/10 · 2 August 2021]

By episode 2 this series started to feel bloated. Backstories backstories backstories.

It might have made a good movie or two part series but I am not willing to sift through all this garbage to find out there is nothing more than who I think was driving. It's pretty obvious who they are trying to make seem innocent and obfuscate their story line.

Nope I'm out.

Jungle Cruise (2021)

I'm not a Disney fan but I still liked it. The cast is great, loads of fun & action.

[7/10 · 1 August 2021]

It's a bit cringey when the bad CGI takes over the screen (more practical effects please!) and a little overlong. If they cut the massive backstories and intricate details and this flick would be a real winner.

Other than that this is a fun ride that will please most moviegoers looking for a few laughs and some light entertainment.

I can be a pretty curmudgeonly about Disney junk but even I had a great time. Blunt, Johnson and Whitehouse bring great comedy and chemistry and really make it sing.

Roswell: The Final Verdict (2021– )

Ridiculous.

[1/10 · 3 July 2021]

The first woman 'analyzed' to see if she was lying was rehashing a story someone else told her. Even if the AI could tell if she was telling the truth, she didn't see anything herself. The only thing she was telling the truth about is that someone else told her a story. How does that prove anything at all?

The whole show is absurd.