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desperado_here
Reviews
Only (2019)
Please stop commenting on cutting her hair.
Seriously guys. Please stop commenting on cutting her hair. How much of a difference would it make? I don't know about most people but I can tell the difference between a man and a woman with short hair. Just because she cuts her hair doesn't mean no one will be able to tell the difference. As soon as you get within a hundred feet, you will know. Especially if you're one of the government hunters. I think most people missed the point of this movie because too much attention was on the most irrelevant things (like the hair cut). I thought it was a pretty good flick after all. It could have been better, but still a good 7 out of 10 IMO.
Kimi (2022)
What did I just watch?
Judging by the trailer or movie synopsis you probably know by now that the main character comes across something in her data stream. Here is why I have a low rating for the movie.. it never tied off any loose ends. The loose ends I am referring to is the ...something... the main character comes across. We never see the outcome of it. The movie ends without telling you... whatever did happen to that ...something...which is the reason I am watching this. Other than that the movie has suspense and the storyline is decent minus the missing piece of the puzzle. This is probably the lowest rating I have given a movie so let that marinate for a while.
You People (2023)
An Honest Review
I think a lot of the bad reviews are probably from cancel culturists. So...if you get offended watching shows like Dave Chappelle then you will NOT like this at all. First let me say as a black guy I did not find it as offensive as most people made it out to be. I DO THINK this movie was meant to expose the pink elephant in the room of racial sensitivity. Most people do not like to hear about racism because it can be super socially awkward. I think you have to remember this is a story about a Jew man and a Black woman. Two people both from groups targeted by racism are in a movie about racism. I think its funny. Its like a lesbian calling a gay man a homophobe. Like I seriously think that was the point behind the plot of this story. I believe SO many people got offended by it and I understand why but still look at the plot. I dont know maybe I am just super insensitive. Either way I liked the story. The jokes were not as funny and I DO believe they had WAY TOO MANY which came across as TRYING TOO HARD. This is one of the reasons I only gave it a 7. It was still funny but it would have been better if they used the jokes sparingly. Still worth the watch if you are not sensitive to those kind of jokes.
True Blood (2008)
I liked it better than Buffy
I really liked this show. It was not better than the Originals but I felt it was close. In my opinion it was better than Buffy. However it was still a very solid and well developed story. I admit this show plays a lot into sex and gore. You pick up so many feels from it. In a way its like Originals or Twilight with a bit of Buffy added in it. Sookie would be like Bella, Bill and Eric would be like Angel and Spike and the storyline kinda resembles The Vampire Diaries. It has the Vampire Diaries whole antivampire community vibe and the we gotta save the helpless female star everytime she cries for help. It is a very fun show with a lot of laughs and dramatic tear jerkers.
Leaving Las Vegas (1995)
A great movie! Two thumbs up!
A more realistic twist to Pretty Woman. This movie goes against the grain and shows you what if there is no happy ending or what if its the prostitute who tries to do the rescuing. All in all this was a very good movie. I mean it really worked. It was still a romance film but was more dramatic and sad. FYI there will be some graphic scenes. I like how this film did the opposite of Pretty Woman and exposed the harsh realities between being a suicidal alcoholic vs being a prostitute. In some ways it reminds me of the dynamic that Beth Harmon and Alma Wheatley shared from the Queens Gambit except with a Pretty Woman type storyline. You simply see two lonely people share an almost symbiotic relationship and even though their life is far from perfect they still accept each other unconditionally when no one else does.
The Special (2020)
When safe sex is no longer safe
When safe sex is no longer safe. This movie is alright for a b rated movie. Honestly I can see why so many people commented on it being too long. The story is very very simple. I feel like they added what would be seen as FILLERS no pun intended to make this long enough to be a movie. I think this did feel like something that would have been a really cool short 30 minute film. If they really wanted to make the story longer then they SHOULD HAVE shown more about the wife cheating. They seriously rushed that part of the story so much that it seems like a huge plot hole. I think if they showed her cheating or at least show what convinced him that shes cheating BEFORE he agreed to join his friend to that place with The Special then it would have drawn us closer to the story. Anyhow it just climaxed early again no punt intended but after the first 30 minutes you are already waiting for the ending.
Freeway Killer (2010)
This Movie is Literally SUPER UNDERRATED
I think this movie deserves a 7 and that is at the least. In comparison to many other movies on serial killers, I felt this one really did well. There were only a couple of flaws that stood out to me. One, there were some parts that weren't accurate and Two, it was a low budget film which I didn't count against it too much. Here's what was good about the movie...the story was actually very compelling being such a low budget film. It is a bit suspenseful and it gets really dark especially when you see Bonin talking to one of the victim's mom. Surprisingly, it has parts in it that will really make you laugh. I think it's worth watching.
Smiley Face Killers (2020)
Top 3 Problems Wrong With This Movie
I normally give great ratings but this time, I couldn't. Let me tell you the three problems with this movie. One, it's tooooo slow. Nothing happens for the first hour. You are basically watching a college kid's life story before any killing happens. Two, the movie opens with the caption of the number of suspicious drownings that get passed off as accidents. Nothing done in this movie supports that at least not "intelligently". It makes you wonder why they even show it to you. Three, it's so unrealistic. EXAMPLES: no one locks their doors when they leave and when they come home they just turn the knob--no key used--NEXT, a 1990s panel van catches up and outruns a Mercedes E Class that ALSO has a 60 second head start, I don't know maybe the van has a turbo engine with NOS---NEXT, the kid finds sooo many clues that someone's stalking him and he NEVER goes to the police---NEXT, the killers are TOO BOLD like doing everything out in the open public with people around (Mind you it's also during the 2010s NOT the 1970s) you'd think they'd be concerned about eyewitnesses, CCTV, DNA, fingerprints, etc. Lastly, if somebody bloody n brutalized asks a store clerk to call the police, VERY UNLIKELY for that clerk to pull out a SHOTGUN and aim it at the person who clearly is begging you to call the police. I couldn't take this movie seriously especially when I saw that one kid just walk right in his house without needing a key EVER.
House of Darkness (2022)
IMO this is worth watching
It's not as bad as everyone is makin it. Justin Long kinda grows on you in this movie. His character is a little cheesy, corny, and a bit naive. Initially, he kind of annoys you with how cheesy and clueless he is. Then, you soon realize his somewhat desperate behavior is actually very comical. He had me rollin. The stuff he says, the way he lies : it's like watching one of those funny episodes from that blind date show from way back. That mixed with films: hard candy and the invitation. I will admit that there isn't a lot of people in the film. This is one of the reasons it reminds you of hard candy plus you realizing that everyone ISNT who they say they is like hard candy and the invitation. It has a very dark feel throughout the film both figuratively and literally. Lastly, I think this movie is better than the 4.7 rating it has. Not sure why it was so low. My only guess is maybe because it's not fast paced and there aren't many characters to take away from. The story is dark and has a slow reveal with only a few characters in one location which is why it really will remind u of hard candy and the invitation.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022)
Good storyline with a hidden message
The movie really reminded me of Lost in Translation and Crazy, Stupid, Love. Not saying the story is the same, but it has that "feel" to it. Like when you realize how vulnerable everyone is capable of being no matter how perfect they may seem. It has its humorous moments, but not too much that it becomes distracting. I felt this was more drama than comedy like 70/30. I also like how they saved the pink elephant for the very end. They build up to it at a really good pace to add more to the story. I think letting you hear each of their story made it more personable. Anyhow, the only thing that I didn't like about the film was the couple of times the dialogue was hard to follow. Once or twice it was kinda going all over the place. I don't know maybe they wanted to make the characters seem more realistic..I don't know I guess. As for that, it was a good film.
Follow Me (2020)
Hostel + The Game (1997) = This Movie
In the first 15 minutes, my Spidey sense was going off because it was soo familiar. The first two movies that hit me during that time was Hostel and The Game with Michael Douglas and I was dead on right from start to finish. It's maybe 30 percent Hostel and 70 percent The Game. It isn't super scary, but the storyline still worked. As for the acting, I would give it a B. Anyways, I only watched this movie because Holland Roden (Teen Wolf) was in it. Was curious of how she looked in movies. Anyhow, I think this movie is worth watching. Not too many cons and as a b-rated movie it didn't feel like it when I was watching.
The Monster Project (2017)
Only two major flaws
This movie is good and it's like the Blair Witch Project with a focus on vampires, demons and skin walkers. The story works and the characters that play the monsters do really well. The pace is also good considering it's a b rated film. Is it scary? Yeah. I'd give it a 7.0 in terms of scariness. Now, on to the two major flaws. The first is the slow pick up. Literally the first 20 minutes is well....boring. I wasn't sure if it was worth watching. Glad I hung in there. The 2nd part that sucked royally....was the token black dude. OMG when I read reviews before watching and saw many people complaining, let me say as a black guy...i felt a certain kind of way. However, fast forward, let me say that.... they didn't complain ENOUGH. Wow that black dude really was SUPER ANNOYING. Drove me crazy. He was SO LOUD and OBNOXIOUS, kinda in the way most of the time and was very "black" stereotypical when he talked WHICH WAS ESPECIALLY A LOT in those first 20 minutes I told you about. So if not for these two things, I easily would have given it an 8. Oh and one more bad thing as an honorable mention is the effects. Which I didn't really care about and found it forgivable considering that it was a b-rated film with the shot on "camera" appearance. I recommend the movie and if you're willing, maybe skip the first 15 minutes or maybe turn the volume off lol for 15 minutes.
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
Pretty good imo
Why the high score? I thought it was a fantastic idea or plot. You see what happens when you inject a psychopath into an "environment" of other psychopaths. Funny thing is, you realize that out of two evils; you start to root for one. In this case, it's Esther. It will remind you of Joker because even though you know he is bad, his situation makes you understand him enough to want to see him prevail. Anyhow, this kind of direction is risky for a movie. Why? Because some people do not like to see movies where there is no legit "good guy" and you are meant to choose or empathize with a villain. Anyhow, I think it was a good idea for the sequel to be a prequel. Obviously, Isabelle Fuhrman isn't getting younger and if you're planning to make more films then it's better to get the prequel out of the way. Anyhow, has a lot of good attack scenes.
Rabid (2019)
I'll tell you why people gave bad reviews
Up until the last 20 minutes, the movie got a little over the top. I'm not going to ruin it for you. I will say do NOT expect a carbon copy of the original. Moreso I recommend going in with the mind set of it being another zombie mixed with bits of "Species" thrown in. The main character will remind you of Species. When you see it, you'll know what I mean. I won't go into detail. In fact, if you took Species and combined it with Zombie movies, you'd get this movie except anyone she bites or infects becomes rabid like. Overall, I thought the story was fine with the exception of the last 20 minutes. I wasn't going to give it a 1 or a 2 when the majority of the fim was very fun to watch. I think if you go in with a blank slate, you will like it better. I think if you go in expecting to see an exact replica of the first movie, then you're going to rate it incredibly low.
Assimilate (2019)
If The Faculty Was A Part Zombie Movie...
This resembles the Faculty or Invasion. Only difference is, you need to get bit for your body to be replaced. However, the storyline and setting especially resembles the Faculty. You got these high school kids that stumbled on the possibility that their average town has encountered something that is changing people into "something else" that looks and sounds like the people they no longer are. That whole conspiracy thing plays out in this movie just like the Faculty and the Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The only difference is you become like a zombie requiring flesh. Anyhow, the movie is very entertaining. I think the movie gets low reviews because it's B-rated which seems to be the norm. Not sure why, but a lot of good B-rated movies get rated much lower than they need because people rate them like a "theater" movie which is unfair. Anyway, I recommend this movie!
Zombie Apocalypse (2011)
It was entertaining...like "Sharknado"
It was entertaining but like "Sharknado". It's obviously a low budget film so I dont ever expect the special effects to be above and beyond. In fact, it's more entertaining because of that. I laugh at these kind of movies more than Comedies. Don't get me wrong, the story was alright. However, if you watch it, watch it for the entertainment factor of a good laugh. It's one of those movies you watch with friends and drinks one night when there's nothing good to watch. You know it's not a blockbuster, but it's still fun to watch because of how bad the CGI is. There was a scene when one character shot a pistol at one zombie's head AND the zombie's head flew up in the air like a golf ball LOL. It's a movie that looks so stupid that its HILARIOUS! Watch it!
Bit (2019)
I don't get the low reviews... seriously
I don't get the low reviews... seriously. Yeah it's a b-rated movie, but for a vampire film the storyline was pretty interesting. I mean obviously vampire stories have been done to death and there really aren't a whole lot of new ways to do them. However I think this one pulls it off pretty well. The acting was not bad and the graphics weren't so bad either. I normally add an extra point when I rate b rated films because they are usually at a disadvantage due to the lack of budget and big time actors. So I give them a little bit of credit for having less to work with. Anyhow, if you want my opinion, I say go for it! It's a fun flick.
M3GAN (2022)
Why did I score it so HIGH?
Why did I score it so HIGH? For starters, I think Horror films get rated too low because people expect way TOO MUCH story (rate it like it's a drama) when the movie is meant to scare you. Ironically, this is why I didn't give it a ten because it ACTUALLY put TOO MUCH emphasis on the story. Without spoiling it, the movie starts off really slow for a horror film. I think like maybe the first 40 minutes or so, you don't see M3GAN. To me, I think they tried a little too hard for a build up. Honestly, it's okay, but if you're watching a 90 minute movie you should see one person killed by someone in the first 20 minutes. I mean 40 minutes is literally almost half the movie of you waiting to get scared or see the.... real "main character". Anyhow, that's the only MAJOR flaw because it picks up really fast after the first 40 minutes. I will say one thing tho, forget anything you know about Chucky. This is a different character with a different persona. So, expect "different" other than what I mentioned this movie was really good.
Cell (2016)
This is where the movie went wrong ..
This movie HAD GREAT POTENTIAL. The story is like a mixture of the I-Robot, Lucy, and your typical zombie movie. Why? I-Robot was about the human race going to war with a group connected by a hive mind. Lucy was about what would happen if humans were able to use more than 2 percent of their brains. Zombie movies as you know are about humans being killed by what appears to be dead humans. This movie has all three concepts. The problem? It became VERY CONVOLUTED after the first hour because of all the "rapid" evolutionary traits the "phoners" were constantly developing. It was so hard to follow the plot. It's like trying to get to Florida from NY by following EVERY CAR with a Florida tag. Pretty soon you realize you're lost BECAUSE you're literally going everywhere!!!
[Rec]³: Génesis (2012)
I don't understand the hate
Okay. First let me say it was fun to watch. It does however have a comic relief to it a couple of times opposed to the first two. But not enough to be distracting. It doesn't pick up after the apartment scene and it's not as dark so maybe that's why people don't like it as much. It appears to take place around the same day, but just in another location within the city. Apparently one of the characters were the vet of the infected dog from REC 1 so it shows that the infection was still already spreading outside the apt anyway. I thought it was a good change in pace. It still has it's fair share of gore and kill scenes. I think if you don't go in expecting a direct continuation from Rec 2, then you will like it okay.
Contracted: Phase II (2015)
Funny BJ works at the morgue and can't be found
So in the opening, you see BJ workin again at the morgue BUT no one knows where he is. They got the name and the description and still can't figure out who he is. Also, tell me if this sounds familiar: Riley lies about his last sexual partner at the doctor's, he still goes to work with all these horrible symptoms, he shares bodily fluids with people and even secretes in food, he expels a crap load of blood and while he's cleaning someone outside the door asks if he's okay BUT instead of saying no...Riley asks them if they want to go get drinks, and he continues to lie about things he saw at the party regarding BJ. Who does this remind you of? If you guessed Samantha, you get a gold star. This movie is a continuation of the last one as in..same story but different characters. Only difference is the contagion is starting to spread around the public now. Lastly, how does fly larvae even get in your body? I understand parasites but seriously...? C'mon. I guess they do it for the shock factor. Any doctor will tell you it's impossible.
Contracted (2013)
This movie could have easily been an 8 or higher
First of all, the main character does nothing that anyone with a brain stem would do. Hiding the rape, not going to the doctor at least several times when the signs were there and then hiding the full extent of her symptoms from the doctor. Seriously, she showed no sense of urgency for her own well being. Everyone around her were like OMFG you need help and all she did was just brush it off. I mean it escalated so bad that even when she was losing parts of her body SHE STILL DIDN'T GO. Plus the only one who could account for her rape, she blew him off. She should have been quarantined or hospitalized right at day one or at least day two. And to make matters worse, she turns to street drugs like-- great idea because that will make things better. She seriously makes you angry because of how careless she is and how she IGNORES everyone's advice.
Stake Land (2010)
It's the Walking Dead BUT with vampires instead
If you were to take AMC The Walking Dead and replaced the zombies with vampires, you'd get this but in a movie. It reminds you a lot of the Walking Dead mixed with a little bit of Zombieland part 2. Anyhow, the story is not bad and it works. The acting is fairly decent and it has a lot of emotional moments in it. You see people you start to like, die. So all in all, like I said earlier, it's like watching the Walking Dead. The only bad thing about it is, there are a couple of story gaps. For example, how some vampires are made differently or how one of the characters escaped a militia camp and made it dozens of miles away to a safe haven on foot.... Anyhow, still a good flick.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
One of few sequels to outdo the first
For a movie with budgeting of like 250k, this was pretty good. I think Art the Clown is picking up the slack left behind Michael Myers and Jason..with the exception of Ghost face of course. I will tell you the three best things about this movie. One, it doesn't do a slow build up. It goes right into action within the first two minutes. Two, it doesn't hold back on how bad and creative Art gets with his kills. If you thought Art was brutal in the first one, then wait til you see this one. People said it had the most brutal or gross scenes. I don't know about that, but it's certainly on par with Saw or Hatchet. Three, it adds more depth to the storyline. It's obvious that there will be sequels because the characters in this film tie in with the origin of Art. It appears we will see more about this origin in the following movies. Definitely, curious on what direction the writers will take. Anyhow, Halloween Ends really brought horror movies back. However, this film moves it forward again. Definitely a must see film for die hard horror fans.
Kickboxer 4: The Aggressor (1994)
Should've named it Enter the Dragon
So...yeah. Its pretty much another Enter the Dragon. I watched it because I liked Kickboxer as a kid and I never seen the sequels past part 2. Saw part 3 yesterday and it was soso, but other than that. I think this movie rates the same as part 4. This movie is a real guy movie and as a guy, that's pretty much saying a lot. It has fighting, sex, nudity, and killing. The four food groups. I think as a b rated film it wasn't so bad. Tong Po looks and sounds like Jean Claude Van Damme came back to play the villain. If you are a real die hard Kickboxer fan, this movie is still a pretty fun flick to check out on the weekend.