sian_b_badger Reviews

It Lives Inside (2023)

Something different

[5/10 · 13 November 2023]

Entertaining & genuinely nice to see something new (rather than just a remake or a sequel, as so many horrors are these days, not that they're necessarily bad...it is just nice to see something a bit original).

Always good to delve into the lore/mythology of different cultures/religions.

Loved: 1) that no teacher thought to contact the girl's parents when she is whispering to & carrying round (what can only seem to them to be) an emotional support jar.

2) that they attempted to appease the thing with a buffet. A meatless buffet no less. I've never cooked a meal so good that I thought "Yes, now THIS could appease a demon."

Men (2022)

Not for people who like explanations (my interpretation)

[3/10 · 20 April 2023]

Not for me, but if you like films open to interpretation, you might enjoy it. It is well acted & even though I didn't particularly enjoy or understand the film, the fact that I have tried to find some sort of explanation of the meaning means it must have had an impact (if nothing).

I probably didn't understand this film fully but I'm not great with symbolism. The best interpretation I could make was that this film addresses a few of the problems men pose to women in the form of trauma healing for the main character.

I suppose I thought this because: 1) each man was the same person (implying any man is capable of good & bad) but had different toxic qualities. The landlord was a typical "nice guy" (well-meaning but inappropriate), the young boy was immature (wanted to play games & got aggressive when she didn't indulge him), the priest was malicious/self-righteous (he feigned empathy but then tried to gaslight her into thinking she was to blame for the bad actions of men), the naked man was primal sexuality (his links with nature & inability to talk), etc.

2) the birthing scene seemed to be implying (to me, anyway) that if you allow toxic traits to breed in your relationships, it can give birth to further toxic traits that can be more dangerous.

3) the ending where she asked her ex what he wanted from her & he just said that he wanted her love. Love is the (poor) excuse for the most heinous actions of most abusers but it could also be the vulnerability & basic need exposed behind the aggressive actions by men.

4) contradictions & being open to interpretation seem to be a main theme for this movie, which would lie nicely with the fact that men aren't all bad but all men aren't all good (& the same applies to women - I'm sure they could make a film about women causing issues/trauma for men, just as easily). The film never gives you a judgement or an explanation.

5) as I'm sure many previous reviews have pointed out - the scene where she takes the apple from the tree could be linked to original sin & the start of women being blamed for things that are (often) outside of their control.

6) the scene in the tunnel will probably resonate with a lot of women - you're out, on your own, enjoying yourself & experiencing freedom & joy but in a split second, just the presence of a man turns that joy to fear for her safety (again, this is not a review solely dedicated to bashing men, it is just my interpretation & could be entirely wrong). The focus on men, rather than people/women in this review is kind of explained by the title of the film, not my personal viewpoint.

If you love symbolic films, this is one for you to watch & analyse.

Skinamarink (2022)

If you make it through this film, you deserve a medal.

[1/10 · 5 February 2023]

I should have read the reviews (rather than just the IMDb score) before even attempting to watch this film, as even people who noticed ALL of it's flaws & call it out seem to be giving it around a 5 & this film really, REALLY does not deserve that. I know it is supposed to be artistic but honestly, it is just a grainy video of shots of a house, terribly fuzzy audio & next to no plot. I'm sure that it can be used for torture in some way it is THAT bad. It was grating my nerves after 10 mins (if you hold out past 10 minutes, you might think that it might pick up...no...it is pretty much the same all the way through). This isn't a film, this is a test of endurance to see if you can survive the boredom.

Detective Knight: Redemption (2022)

This film will have you asking so many questions...

[1/10 · 1 January 2023]

...like, what am I doing with my life? Why am I watching this film until the end? Is this how I really want to spend my time? But more specifically, you'll be asking yourself: 1) Why does the main villain INSIST on having the one specific guy from prison on his Santa team (apologies for not using names but along with the will to live, this film also took my memory of any character's name as they were all so generic)? He keeps saying he knows they will do great things together but never actually explains why...Does he have a special skill? No. Does he have special knowledge about the end game operation? No. Is he somehow related to or important to the plot/aims? No. Does he just have a raging crush on him & wants him in the group as someone pretty to look at? Perhaps.

2) Why does the appeal scene for Bruce Willis' character at the end look like it has been filmed in front of a green scene? Did they use all their money on their action scenes & had to put something together last minute during editing? If so, why couldn't they do something better than something that looks like a GCSE drama production attempt?

3) Why are there so many plot holes in this film?

4) Why is Bruce Willis doing so many films lately (e.g. Apex) in which he is positioned as the main character but in actual fact, probably spends no more than 10 minutes on the screen? Considering him an absolute legend, I can only assume it is smart thinking on his part. Who wouldn't want to work for 10 mins & get paid for a full days work?

5) What is Bruce Willis doing in such a rubbish film? Again, because he is an absolute legend, I can only assume this is a strategy to cash in before retirement (which, I say "Fair play" to).

If you still want to watch this film after this review, I only have one thing to say to you - stop hurting yourself this way, get therapy...but thank you for contributing to Bruce Willis' retirement fund.

The OctoGames (2022)

I genuinely couldn't tell if this was trying to be a comedy

[1/10 · 1 December 2022]

The acting is terrible & the plot is a complete rip off of Squid Games (in the same way Wish items are a rip off of the real thing), so you'd think this was a parody, right? So did I before I watched it. I would say Squid Games would clearly have a right to sue here but I doubt they would because, honestly, this just shows you how bad Squid Games COULD have been if the right people hadn't been working on it, so they're probably letting this film run because it is like the ugly friend - by comparison, it makes it look SO much better. Seriously, avoid this film & wasting time in your life that you'd never get back.

Bingo Hell (2021)

Blumhouse can no longer be trusted to make decent films

[1/10 · 5 October 2021]

Actually playing bingo would have been more fun & wasted less of my lifetime.

Advertised as an Amazon original film, like it is something to be proud of. My dog makes poo all the time but you don't hear her bragging that is is an original dog creation.

Blood Bags (2018)

The reviews that gave this 8 stars HAVE to be fake

[1/10 · 26 August 2021]

Only got half way through the film & had to stop. I have watched a LOT of bad films but the acting in this was SO stiff, it might as well be buffering every minute like some kind of stop motion animation.

I would never usually tell someone to give up on their dreams but everyone "acting" in this film needs to stop trying to act. Sounds harsh but this film was the equivalent of watching people who clearly can't sing audition for the X factor or something. Honestly, this film was painful to watch (& not in the good horror way).

Smiley Face Killers (2020)

Frowny face

[1/10 · 17 July 2021]

I've seen anime battles that have moved faster than this film did.

Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)

The only way this film is deadly is that it bores you to death

[1/10 · 8 March 2021]

Pretentious crap posing as a horror film. Tries to be super deep about the layers of hell but in all honesty, being forced to watch this film would be the 6th layer of hell.

Monster Hunter (2020)

Like all movie adaptations of games - poor.

[2/10 · 5 March 2021]

Just wasn't much of a plot. The only reason I'm giving it 2 stars, rather than 1 is the fact that:

1) the monsters were done well (congrats to the special effects team who did a brilliant job of bringing the monsters "to life") 2) Tony Jaa was a delight to watch

Ron Pearlman looked like they'd stuck a dead rat on his head & he genuinely appeared to be bored in every scene, like he knew this film was crap & he was just repeating "Think of the money, think of the money."

Made me think of the DragonBall adaptation. Yes, it was THAT bad.

Ink (I) (2009)

Basically Peter Pan but re-imagined

[4/10 · 5 March 2021]

Stumbled across this film & it rung a bell, so re-watched it. Genuinely thought the first time I watched it was a fever dream. Good idea & nice action scenes (if not a tad outdated now) but the dream-like filter/cinematography the whole way through just made me want to adjust my tv settings.

The Red Nightmare (2021)

Girl Scouts tell better horror stories around a campfire

[1/10 · 15 February 2021]

Had to turn this rubbish off after 20 minutes & I can usually sit through ANYTHING. I've seen a better makeup job by a toddler who broke into their mum's makeup bag. I could forgive the awful effects if it made up for it with plot or decent acting but this film failed on all counts.

Deadgirl (2008)

A necrophiliac's wet dream

[1/10 · 12 January 2021]

No real plot. Not really "realistic" considering it based upon the premise that every 17 year old boy is a complete psychopath. 1 unhinged boy is probably realistic...but every single one you come across in the film is willing to take advantage of vulnerable women? Not so realistic. This film just tries to be disturbing & only succeeds in being boring.

Game of Death (I) (2017)

Seems like a film written by a 15 year old boy having an existential crisis & weird sister fantasies

[1/10 · 26 November 2020]

The synopsis of the film states it is a group of millennials. As a millennial, I do not want to be associated with such tripe. Actually used the phrase "Death is the bonus level." No idea why the hell it kept showing clips of manatees...but these were probably the most entertaining bits of the film if I'm honest. At one stage, honestly expected the sister to get stuck in something & shout "STEP BROTHER!".

The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)

The plot is all over the place

[1/10 · 19 November 2020]

It jumps from brutal murders, to a cop with anger issues starting fights, to an ending based on very little. I've read Twilight fan fiction written by teenage girls with a more substantial plot than this. If you've ever watched the TV series Hannibal - they did it better. A very sarcastic thanks to everyone who rated this film & made me waste 1 hour & 24 minutes of my life. I know the exact time because, even during a lockdown, where you'll find ANYTHING to do, I felt EVERY one of those damn minutes painfully tick by.

They Live Inside Us (2020)

Just crap

[1/10 · 10 October 2020]

Tries to be clever but is predictable & boring. Doesn't sound like a particularly terrible review but when I say it is boring, I mean it was SO boring that I was ill, confined to bed & this film was the most torturous part of my day.

Hereditary (2018)

WHO IS RATING THIS FILM HIGHLY?!

[1/10 · 29 July 2020]

Honestly, I will watch any type of movie. I've watched films that looked like they're filmed on someone's phone with the budget of the cost of a bag of chips & still been more impressed than I was with this film. Seems like it was written with the same level of focus that a 5 year old has when they're telling you a story & some part are just nonsense & other parts you just don't care about or aren't related to the main plot. So, to whoever wrote this drivel, I'll tell you what I would tell any 5 year old, "Shush now." & mutter under my breath "Stupid idiot".

Midsommar (2019)

The only disturbing thing is that people have given this film a good review

[1/10 · 29 July 2020]

A poor attempt at reinventing The Wicker Man. Good acting, lovely visuals but the plot was just dire. The deaths would have been shocking had I not got half way through the film & thought "Death would be a sweet release from this dreadful story.". Watched this on my day off so bravo to the director & the writer who managed to rob me of some hours I'll never get back. Thanks as well to everyone else who said this film was good...I'm starting to think you all lied just so other poor idiots like me would waste their time watching it too.

Lost After Dark (2015)

Watch it again? Only if I see it in hell.

[1/10 · 28 May 2020]

So tediously boring, I was actually infuriated when I saw it in the "Watch it again?" section. Again? I wish I hadn't watched it in the first place.

Ravers (2018)

You'd have to be raving mad to watch this rubbish.

[1/10 · 13 April 2020]

At least the people in the film had drugs & drink to get them through the awful plot. I had to do it sober. The fact that I chose to turn this off & we're in lockdown, (so stuck indoors & bored out of our minds) should be evidence as to how boring this film was.

Ghost Stories (2020)

Would have given it 1 star but it got an extra star purely for the most cringeworthy man in the last story.

[2/10 · 5 January 2020]

The stories were terrible & seemed to want to reveal some underlying moral or lesson but the only lesson you'll learn is that a grown man who plays peekaboo with his dead granny is both hilarious & (sadly) the scariest thing in this horror movie. The only thing more implausible than the supernatural elements in these stories is that someone would marry this man-child.

The Dead Don't Die (2019)

Everyone involved in this film should be ashamed.

[1/10 · 18 December 2019]

It takes a special kind of skill to produce a film with an amazing cast & still manage to make a film that is less humorous than a funeral & less interesting than watching paint dry. All I can guess is that the producers offered the cast an astounding amount of money to be in this dreadful film & hopefully they didn't list the income as work when filing their taxes because I've seen more convincing acting from my dog (when compared to people in this film) when she plays dead (& she peeks & blinks at me when she does it). Adam Driver recently walked out of a radio interview because they played a clip of him singing in his latest film & apparently he has a phobia of hearing/watching his performances back...now, I can see why. This film also gave me a phobia of watching Adam Driver (who managed to display less emotion in this film than he did in the Star Wars films when he actually had his helmet on). You would think Bill Murray & Tilda Swinton could save ANY film...they could not...they could, in fact, make it even worse.

There is an old saying - "Procrastination is the thief of time." This film is worse than procrastination. Procrastinate away & do not watch this film. It robs you of time...& quite possibly your will to live.

Hide & Seek (2010)

I've read preschool pop-up books that were less predictable.

[1/10 · 27 November 2019]

One of the characters is a drug addict, one is crazy & one is a criminal...whoever thought this film was a good idea & produced it must be also be high & mental to make something this criminally bad. Never before have I said aloud to my own TV, "Did you just put a musical interlude into a horror film?" For anyone planning I'm watching this...view the title as a partial warning to how laughably bad this film is - hide & do not seek to watch it. I would threaten you with a homicidal santa but this film is punishment enough.

Perfect (II) (2018)

Like listening to someone reading their own poetry aloud for an hour & a half

[1/10 · 22 November 2019]

*said in a calming & therapeutic voice over a tinkling piano* This film seems to be the result of something no one ever asked for (& for good reason)...what if someone turned a pretentious, nonsensical perfume ad into a full length feature film? The result? Indulgent cinematography that I fear only entertained those that were involved in making it.

Incredible Violence (2018)

Incredibly crap.

[1/10 · 19 August 2019]

The only thing incredible about this film is that someone paid to produce this rubbish.

They tried to add a few twists & turns but the acting is so bad & the plot is so boring, that even if a random glow in the dark unicorn popped up tap-dancing in the film, you wouldn't care enough to look up from your phone on which you are watching a video of paint drying.