jeeap Reviews

Woman in the Dunes (1964)

Cherchez la femme

[8/10 · 31 July 2019]

A man looking for a woman will end up in a hole surrounded by sand mountains. Although without her he would be collecting insects which is not much better.

Generation P (2011)

Quite Entertaining

[8/10 · 6 May 2019]

A good set of actors. It's also good that director didn't modify the original Pelevin's idea.

Buddha's Little Finger (2015)

OK To Watch

[7/10 · 6 May 2019]

It's a good overall movie but it has nothing in common with great Pelevin's novel. Simplified and adapted to the ordinary audience.

The Student (2016)

Crappy Crap

[2/10 · 1 May 2019]

While showcasing naked males the director tells us what is right and what is wrong. Based on Bible quotes, of course.

Devil's Pass (2013)

Good Effects

[6/10 · 27 November 2018]

And a first half. But it was painful to watch closer to the end. Also the hope for Dyatlov's Pass mystery solving was destroyed.

Darkness (2002)

Do Movie Characters Watch Movies?

[2/10 · 25 September 2018]

I guess, no. If they did they would move out of this house immediately. There were so many signs of Evil presence in the house but those poor family members kept spending nights in there. They have nobody to blame but themselves for what happened at the end. Oh, and that old architect who designed the house... Shame on you! You knew everything but still helped bad people to fullfill their plot.

Russian Ark (2002)

Quite Attractive

[8/10 · 7 August 2018]

I'm not a big fan of Sokurov. Not even a small one. But I couldn't get away from the screen this time. I was glued to that. There's no real story in it, just a picture hypnotising you. The voice of main character behind the camera is so low you barely hear what he is saying, if at all. And it doesn't matter. The dialogs seem redundant and random, and the main message is obscure. Somehow it feels right.

Mars (2004)

Don't Get Used to It

[6/10 · 7 August 2018]

When I watched Anna Melikyan's movie for the first time I though she was unpredictable. Now, after watching three, I think she IS predictable in her own ways. Her main characted (a female) will die in the end ))

The Fall (I) (2006)

The Most Surrealistic Movie Ever

[10/10 · 30 July 2018]

And the most beautiful I've ever seen. These colors and landscapes just hypnotise you to the point that you feel like you're inside of the picture. A good story is attached to it too: two souls travel together to the world of their shared subconsciousness.

Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (1965)

Definition of Overrated

[4/10 · 30 July 2018]

Eyebrow raising rating of this movie could be well explained by the homosexuality of its director. Also the fact that he was oppressed by USSR authorities for being openly a gay helps a lot. But I could not last more than 16 minutes of watching this.

Self/less (2015)

Entertaining

[6/10 · 24 July 2018]

Ideal movie for Friday night but nothing else. I was a little bit dissapointed not to see weird colors and costumes that are typical for Tarsem Singh. He made it standard Hollywood way. Hopefully he didn't lose his touch because of that.

The Cell (2000)

Hidden Plot

[8/10 · 19 July 2018]

Even those who praise this movie totally miss the point. It's right in the title: "The Cell". The Cell is our normal world where we are restricted from doing anything we want. By law, by religion, by physics, etc. When given a full freedom we are doomed to meet a person we haven't known before: ourselves. And that creature might be too scary to handle.

We've seen what happened to the main character under these circumstances but what about others? What exactly Katherine did to Edward in the last scene? What Peter's own world would look like? Those questions have to be answered. And yes, the production design is for the ages.

Blood Simple (1984)

The Assumptions

[7/10 · 29 June 2018]

We're dealing with other persons assuming something. It's always the case but sometimes it drops beyond even our low standards. Than we have a complete mess. This story is a perfect example of it. The characters don't talk much to each other, they study the environment instead to find out what they want to know. They think it's more trustworthy. And then they make conclusions based on what they found. Indeed, this is a sad story of misunderstanding and mistrusting. Excellently told with a lot of art-cinema stuff.

Gololyod (2003)

Tricking You Into The Story

[5/10 · 26 June 2018]

Interesting... The main female character introduced in the beginning is disappeared from the screen in 15 minutes. The whole point is to make you watch the second part wating for her to return and explain some unfinished things. She won't do it but you are going to consume a story (may be a half of it) of a gay transforming to "normal". Frankly, because he's got some feelings towards that vanished woman. Gay theme is not exactly a bite for the ordinary audience, so here is the trick ))

BTW "the transformation" is reminiscent of werewolf stuff )) I'd love to know why.

Shopping Tour (2012)

Very Subtle

[6/10 · 26 June 2018]

It seems like a childish joke or a failed attemt to create a low budget horror movie but it is a pure satire aiming at so-called "civilized europeans". It's questioning what is behind a smiling face of a human who cares only about his physical comfort. The resulting picture is not pleasant. The audience wouldn't accept it if it was told directly. They might even call it "intolerate" which is like a death penalty these days. That's why the idea is burried under shaking camera and stupid plot.

Voditel dlya Very (2004)

A Soap Opera At Its Finest

[3/10 · 25 June 2018]

A beautiful daughter of a poweful soviet general is lonely, pregnant and desperately looking for a man. Not for a man of her dream but just for about anybody. Even her personal driver would be OK. Sounds strange? It's not over yet.

The driver is given his assignment without any background check. The general picks him up like a seashell on a shore and he doesn't mind him going after his beloved daughter. The driver is also threatened to regret his deeds if he doesn't take his approach seriously.

At this point you might stop watching this crap but you would miss the following plot gems: a record-breaking time for a child birth, the driver mating around on premises despite the warning, a cuban soldier abusing russian girls on cruise ship, the driver holding his car with bare hands while it's hanging over the abyss, a mighty KGB screwing up its operations by doing stupid (if not insane) things, a car chase ending with escape of unarmed and unskilled person from men in chemical protective suits, etc.

All of this is to remind you how USSR government was bad to its law abiding citizens.

As to pure cinema values this film definitely has one in Alyona Babenko. Her beauty is in 10 stars range so she balances everything else and I gave it 3 after calculating the average ))

Burn After Reading (2008)

Brilliant Humor

[9/10 · 21 June 2018]

The dialogs in this movie are taken directly from a humor's God. They are so funny that I'm not even laughing. They take a breath away from me )) Those exchanges of words between CIA officers in particular.

Besides humor (or thanks to that) I can see one simple thought: nothing that people do is worth of anything. Their mind doesn't understand that but their subconsciousness does. That's why the allogamy is the only thing left to them. And a good portion of laugh by looking in the mirror.

Kicking Off (2013)

A Prediction

[7/10 · 19 June 2018]

This is where our world is finally coming to: the office workers tired of their boring daily duties will go out to fight each other.

Igry motylkov (2004)

Lacking An Explanation

[5/10 · 18 June 2018]

The main character, Kostya, is clearly feeling offended by something but we won't be able to identify by what exactly. He blames everyone for his misfortunes and punishes people who love him just for being near him.

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Copy And Paste

[5/10 · 18 June 2018]

I have watched this movie many time even before it was produced. Under different names though. You know every plot curve in advance, every tear you will drop. It has some nice effects which is also predictable, otherwise who would watch it.

Prodavetz vozdukha (1967)

The Salesman Of The Air

[7/10 · 15 June 2018]

The concept of selling the air is not a sci-fi anymore )) In today's world it's called marketing. Big corps stopped studying our demands and started creating them. Belyaev saw it was coming.

Solaris (1972)

Simply Beautifull

[9/10 · 15 June 2018]

As many said here already, this movie is not about a story. You have to follow a sequence of images and allow them to hypnotize you. It creates a mood. Or, in some cases, it does not ))

Mister Iks (1958)

Georg Ots

[5/10 · 14 June 2018]

Excellent vocal by Georg Ots but the movie itself is lame. May be it should always be this way with operetta.

I Am Dragon (2015)

In Love With Mutant

[5/10 · 14 June 2018]

I guess a straightforward love between a man and a woman is no longer in demand )) So they make up new concepts: dragons, werewolves, mutants, etc. I found one suprising moment in this movie though: the dragon didn't have three heads which is a standard in Russian folklore.

Apocalypse Now (1979)

Too Much Philosophy

[6/10 · 13 June 2018]

While a war is simple: you kill and get killed. There's no need to justify wars or say they are something that could be avoided. They happen all the time because they are part of human's nature. Try to prove otherwise by looking at history )) Or by reading news.

And let's be honest one more time: we're talking about movie selling business, so any idea will work well if it's sold. Blood, sex and f-bombs are all good for the audience sitting in cosy chairs and chewing popcorn.