mherrin-43253 Reviews

Mayhem (2017)

What the Belko Experiment should have been

[7/10 · 17 August 2018]

Mayhem: Directed by Joe Lynch and written by Matias Caruso

This, this is the movie The Belko Experiment should have been. This movie is bloody and brutal. This movie is funny and moves like a bolt of lightning in 87 minutes. It is the exact perfect length. This movie is a lot of fun. It makes my subscription to Shudder worth it even more when they have wonderfully, exhilarating movies like this.

This comes from Joe Lynch, the fun B movie director that turned the Wrong Turn series into what it became with Wrong Turn 2. He directed Salma Hayek's bad ass but heartfelt desperation in Everly. He has a handle on material like this. I can not wait to see what else he has in store or films I may have missed. He knows exactly what he wants to do. He fills the movie with vibrant color and creative kills feeding on the office related puns and jokes to weave in this story of redemption and finding life even through the muck and the bile.

The acting is superb. Steven Yuen proves that he has the chops to be a terrific leading man. He has the intensity. He has the vulnerability and he has the comedic timing. I think this movie showed even more of what he has to offer than Okja or the Walking Dead. Samara Weaving is fun and clever. Add this to her excellent villianous turn in The Babysitter and she's another one I can't wait to see what she does. The characters are fine tuned to a higher pitch but it works within the confines of this story. They are total lunatics especially when the virus reaches a fever pitch.

This was a fun, terrific movie. You would be hard pressed to find another horror comedy this solid, this stylish and this much of a damn good time. I give this movie a B.

River of Darkness (2011)

What was even going on?

[1/10 · 16 August 2018]

River of Darkness: Written and directed by Bruce Koehler

I'm back folks with a cinematic masterpiece from the director of Endgame starring Kurt Angle when he was in TNA. This is part of a new journey into the world of cinema. I'm using suggestions from other people and reviewing in tandem with a friend of mine Roguish. This was my suggestion. I thought upon seeing the horrifically photoshopped poster that made the movie seem more like a cheapo action film that I had to see this. It's not an action film. It resembles what should be a horror film. It tries to scare you in the most rudimentary way possible. It has some make up effects but the camera used had to be a digital camera from the early 2000s.

I have to make mention of this right off the bat because it's the first thing that catches you offguard. The look of the film, the camera work being done. Everything has this unusual haze about it like we're in some dream level. It also looks painfully cheap. I assume that's because the director spent all his money hiring Kurt Angle and couldn't afford a half way decent camera. The lights give off this harsh painful glare and cast deep shadows like having a spotlight shone directly on your face. I was confused right from the start.

The other thing that bothered me was the inability of the movie to determine a time period. Things felt really anachronisitic. The diner had a 50s feel to it. The cabin the sheriff lived in felt more in tune with Grizzly Adams.

But the biggest problem is the odd relationships between characters. Everyone treats the hero like complete garbage. He is the sheriff and he is desperately trying to solve these murders albeit in a rather relaxed manner. He doesn't seem to have any urgency about him and he routinely shows regular every day folks graphic crime scene photographs. It had me uttering in a quite audible level what the hell is going on.

It has scenes that start and then go nowhere only to immediately pick a few moments later in a different location. It had me scratching my head and blathering like a buffoon at the path this story chose to go. It was the story of a wronged group of outcasts coming back from the grave to get revenge on the town who cast them to their graves. You know the plot of The Fog.

This was a miserable experience. I should have known better considering this director made Endgame. All the problems that movie had, this movie still has. He has learned nothing in between films. I know better. I do. I'm not certain why I do this to myself. A certain degree of self loathing I suppose. I have to remind myself though to stay away from Pro Wrestlers vs Zombies. I can do this. I have faith in my resolution.

I give this movie an F.

Primal Rage (2018)

Bigfoot Predator

[5/10 · 23 July 2018]

Primal Rage: Directed by Patrick Magee and written by Jay Lee and Patrick Magee

It has been a while since my last review. I had to take a bit of a break to recharge my batteries to bring more thoughts on movies that doesn't include the phrase it wasn't the best movie but it wasn't the worst in every single review. I'm so tired of seeing this. You don't have to use this phrase to describe a middle of the road but enjoyable movie. You can say you enjoy the film without justifying it's place in the pantheon of movie placement. I hope that made sense.

This brings us to the movie Primal Rage: The Legend of Oh-Mah or Primal Rage: Bigfoot reborn. This played for one night only in theatres as a Fathom Event. I always find that fascinating when Fathom Events does this with movies that no one has heard of and there are no trailers for it. How does that even work exactly? I understand when they did it with Rob Zombie's 31 and Kevin Smith's Yoga Hosers, both terrible movies with some good qualities. This one though was a very odd what the hell so naturally I set about trying to track it down, trying to track down any reviews for it. Nothing.

But finally I found it and got the chance to watch and what I got was Bigfoot Predator with the witch from Sleepy Hollow thrown in for good measure to add some mystical qualities to the narrative. This movie felt like a hodge podge of elements thrown in there to maximumize the one chance this filmmaker might have to make a movie. It does draw you in a bit but it takes too long to get to the point where the Oh-Mah is hunting them. They run across a large group of hunters with rapey tendencies and they lose their clothes along the way(The main characters that is) in a vain attempt to draw out some vulnerability. Like being hunted by Bigfoot Voorhees wasn't enough.

The performances were okay. I thought the actor who played Max was really one note and nothing felt genuine with him. The actors playing the native Americans fared a bit better but still suffered with dialogue that was forced and robotic from them. That witch character though was straight out of a cartoon and really out of place in this movie. I understood what they were trying to do. They were trying to add more to the story than just surviving the monster in the woods. It would be a better film if they had streamlined everything into what worked.

What worked were the effects. They were top notch. Those deaths are grisly and gory and just excellent stuff. The bigfoot creature is also beautiful and really well done. The effects work are the highlight of this film which makes sense since the director comes from an effects background.

This movie is okay. It is definitely a middle of the road film with too much fat around the edges but it is an enjoyable creature feature. I can't recommend it but if you decide to check it out, it's enjoyable.

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)

We're both just no name slobs right Cat

[6/10 · 6 July 2018]

Breakfast at Tiffany's: Directed by Blake Edwards and written by George Axelrod

This classic of cinema is considered a romantic comedy. I'm here to say they must have had very different definitions of what that meant back in the early 60s. The undercurrent behind this story is tragic. Two people hiding from what they used to be. They can reinvent themselves to be whoever they want. Holly Golightly does this on a nightly basis. They are running from something. For Paul, he seems to be running from his inability to write. He is running from being a kept man diminishing what he sees as his control over his life. Holly is running from the life she left behind with Doc and his children. It is strongly implied that he forced her into a marriage she didn't want at a tender young age. She seemed to do this out of love for her brother.

Honestly there is so much more to the character of Holly Golightly than just the fun, carefree frothy lifestyle she lives. The parties are a mask. Paul falls for this carefree woman at first but he loves the woman behind the facade. Holly is a force of nature though. He can't have her no matter how much he might want to. He acts in the way the forceful way he shouldn't.

The elephant in the room though is the awful racist caricature played by Mickey Rooney. It's painful every time he comes on screen and he shows up fairly early in the runtime. He makes your skin crawl watching him in 2018. I understand getting upset at a movie made in 1961 about a character in 2018 is kind of silly but man does it bring this movie down a notch or two. Also how Paul behaves towards Holly is very uncomfortable to watch. I understand this is a movie where two people care for each other but never speak it out of discomfort. Holly is good for Paul but is Paul good for Holly, can anybody really be good for her?

Audrey Hepburn is truly amazing in this movie. It is the part that solidified her legend. It is earned because she makes the movie. She makes it entertaining. She makes it watchable. George Peppard really keeps up with her pace when he needs to. We understand why he might fall in love with her.

I give this movie a B. It's worth checking it out at least once.

Uncle Sam (1996 Video)

Wanting a horror icon for the 4th of July but it wasn't there sadly.

[5/10 · 5 July 2018]

Uncle Sam: Directed by William Lustig and written by Larry Cohen

Oh man I have been waiting for ages to see this movie. I'm a big fan of the great Larry Cohen and the last time these two teamed up was the Maniac Cop series. I love the Maniac Cop films. They are fun, creepy, gory and crazy pants along with beautiful filmmaking all at the same time.

I wanted this movie to be the same. I know, I know. I preach the expectations gospel and I turned around and succumbed to it myself. I wanted this movie to be like Maniac Cop. It does briefly. It has some of the kills that reflect the theme of the uber American. He uses the flag, the uniform and the traditions of 4th of July to his sick advantage over flag burners, crappy politicians and various other un American types. This sadly is but a brief moment in the film's story and runtime.

I really wanted to like this movie. We needed a cheesy fun horror film for the holiday but I can't in good conscience go with this one. Some of the characters show up randomly half way through the movie. I'm scratching my head and wondering what for. Isaac Hayes is delivering a performance way outside of what this movie requires. He brings so much more to it than he might be expected to. He helps make this movie than it's incredibly, awesome poster. I stayed for Chef and he carried the movie even through the BS.

This is an easy watch. It meanders a bit in the beginning to get the story going. It doesn't need to. It could launched right into the crazy American stereotypes killing but it doesn't. It tries to give characters to it's victims but it doesn't work. They are the lambs, let's just lead them to the slaughter already!?!

I give this movie a C. It had good elements and bad. I can't recommend it but I didn't hate it.

Humanoids from the Deep (1980)

Fish Monsters need ladies- Reverse Shape of water

[4/10 · 4 July 2018]

Humanoids from the Deep: Directed by Barbara Peeters and written by Frank Arnold, Martin B Cohen and William Martin

I had read about this early 80s movie many times in high school. There was an encyclopedia entirely about horror movies and I read and reread that a hundred million times. This movie came up a few times. I finally gave it a chance. Was it good? Not really in the traditional sense. It has the plot of Jaws without the hunting bits at the end. It seems more like Piranha. I wouldn't be surprised if Roger Corman reused script from that movie to make this. The title card for this read Monster(Humanoids from the Deep) in super tiny print. I think they might have been embarassed by that title.

They shouldn't be. Embrace the schlock you are. You are a silly mutant fish man movie where the monsters take the women for their own procreating purposes and viciously murder the men in the process. The costumes are cumbersome and you can tell they are very cheap. They look like lumbering giant catfish people with stilt arms like early Freddy Krueger. They are not terrifying. The music says they are suppose to be but I'm not sure.

This movie had some sleazy elements thrown for good effect. It was plainly obvious from watching it that this stuff was added after the fact to make the movie compete in the sleaze ball o rama that was horror in the early 80s. The practical gore effects were terrific though. Outside of those suits, the rest fit in well with the atmosphere of this movie.

It is a very short film and it runs in guns blazing but still tries to maintain an air of mystery as to what might be happening. It works okay. This movie is a flash in the pan type of movie. It's not god awful. It happens in a flash and you forget about most of the movie except that it's about raping fish monsters.

I give this movie a C.

Baywatch (2017)

An unfunny mess

[2/10 · 29 June 2018]

Baywatch: Directed by Seth Gordon and written by Jay Scherick, Thomas Lennon, Robert Ben Garant and David Ronn

I knew better. I didn't care about the show. I saw through what they were trying to do from the trailers. They were going for that 21 Jump Street thing where they basically make fun of the show while still remaining true to the spirit of the show. It's just too much.

It feels like Michael Bay made this movie. The camera is always swirling around making me nauseous. It has constant slow motion not just for the jokes on the show's liberal use of it. It has that trying to be bad ass slow motion. It has that Michael Bay thing about it. I know this is the point. It's the whole joke behind the film but it made me roll my eyes too many times.

The Rock is naturally fine in it. He's funny in the role and just enough over the top. Zac Efron is also good playing on the frat boy Olympic athlete image. It works for him. The problem is the women are window dressing. They have no character to speak of. They're only there to ogle and for the male characters to win. The original show wasn't like that. It felt off to me. I understand that everyone is meant to be watched and enjoyed for their physical appearance.

The main problem with this movie is it's just not funny. At all. I didn't laugh one time. It's gross out humor and it didn't need it. The schlubby guy wasn't funny either. The whole joke is he didn't fit the whole super physically fit aspect of the lifeguard and that's funny that he tries to fit in feeling awkward. It's not funny. None of this is funny even the jokes at the expense of the original show.

I say skip this one. I give it an F. I should have stuck with my gut feeling on this.

Coco (I) (2017)

A beautifully sweet movie about family

[9/10 · 22 June 2018]

Coco: Directed by Lee Unkrich and Adrian Molina and written by Lee Unkrich, Adrian Molina, Jason Katz and Matthew Aldrich

I love Pixar movies. Some of them are some of the most fun, wonderfully made beautiful movies I've ever seen. A lot of them are tearjerkers and man we can add this one to the list. It has a scene that touches your heart and made me ugly cry just like the opening to Up or the scene in Inside Out(You folks know the one).

The movie does its best to put you in the time period and culture it is representing. This is one of the most beautiful movies I've ever seen. The backgrounds and colors are so vibrant and really eye popping. So much work and detail went into this and it looks absolutely amazing.

Once you enter in the land of the dead, it takes you by surprise. Everyone is a stylized skeleton and many of the gags use the bones creatively. I laughed out loud a few times.

This movie is about family. That is right there on the surface but it goes to show how sometimes things are not what they appear to be. Sometimes there is more to the story than what we have been taught. It is really sweet. Really well done. I highly recommend this movie. I give it an A.

Hangman (II) (2017)

A dull cliche bore

[3/10 · 21 June 2018]

Hangman: Directed by Johnny Martin and written by Michael Caissie and Charles Huttinger

A serial killer enacting a live version of the kids game hangman and an overacting delirious and tired Al Pacino barely functioning in this dry, dull generic thriller. The whole hangman being a hook caught my attention mainly because it sounds like a parody of serial killer movies from the 90s.

This aspect of the movie is handled gruesomely and pretty well. It is mostly inconsequential to the story as a whole. There is no reason for the killer to engage in this. It has no special meaning to the detectives or the killer.

This is also played straight as can be. It needed that little bit of levity to take the piss out of the situation. The dialogue follows the standard cop movie. The detectives have a tragic backstory and even the reporter has a horrible backstory each one delivered with the plop of an anvil.

It has an incredibly low score on Rotten Tomatoes and it was directed by the same person responsible for the god awful Vengeance A Love Story. This movie is a million times better than that disgusting movie. It's merely bland and cliche. Skip this one too. I give this one a D.

Another WolfCop (2017)

Not as fun as the first one, kinda dull honestly

[4/10 · 21 June 2018]

Another Wolfcop: Written and directed by Lowell Dean

We're back with more Wolfcop fun for the sequel. Well sort of. The first Wolfcop was a wild delight of an insane movie. It caught me by surprise and I loved it. I was very excited by the prospect of another romp with Lou Garou. I know what I say about expectations. They can be poisonous to an experience especially when the movie doesn't do what you expect it to. This is not one of those instances.

I was excited for another film but my excitement disappeared the longer the film went on. I realized very quickly this movie had no ideas. The wolfcop barely does anything in it. It just recycles jokes from the previous film and then it became one dick joke. 73 minutes of it. It also goes back to the well and reuses jokes from the first movie with a mild unexplained alteration.

I appreciated the craziness of the movie and the absurdity of it all. The first one was a lot of fun but this one felt like it was missing that fun. It felt like it was trying too hard. The chicken milk joke is driven into the ground and it wasn't that funny to begin with.

It's tough to talk about bad comedies. What do you say when something just isn't funny to you? I will admit that the wolfcop anthems they have for this movie are pretty great. I simply can't recommend this and I know that this should probably be the last one. I give this movie a D.

Infinity Baby (2017)

An awkward cold odd film

[2/10 · 12 June 2018]

Infinity Baby: Directed by Bob Byington and written by Onur Tukel

What did I just watch? I was caught by the idea that lies in the fabric of this film. A company that sells babies that never age. But that's not what this movie is actually about. It's an allegory about a man child who refuses to grow up and why that is a bad thing. It takes what feels like a long time to get to this point.

This movie was shot in crisp black and white. I'm not entirely sure why. I think it might have to do with the cold nature and the awkward absurdity of the premise at large. It has to have this to hook people in because the story is so simplisitic and other than the extra giggly girlfriend, everyone is unlikable. But then again that might be the point.

It has some moments that you have to laugh at because of the ridiculous nature of the story but it still makes you roll your eyes. It will also make you scratch your chin and rub your temples. It is just such an odd movie. Things happen in this movie that will make you say huh assuming of course that you get that far.

I honestly don't know what to make of it. I got the themes it was trying to convey. I got some chuckles out of the ordeal but I can not recommend this one to anyone. I give this movie a D.

LBJ (2016)

Wax Statues attempt to portray history

[2/10 · 8 June 2018]

BJ: Directed by Rob Reiner and written by Joey Hartstone

This biopic comes not long after Jay Roach made his version of the LBJ with Bryan Cranston entitled All The Way. That was a much better film. It focused on one aspect of his life and his presidency rather than offering just fragments of who the man might be. This was a distracting meander through the Wikipedia page of LBJ from before he ran with Kennedy as vice president to just after he became president and addressed congress.

This is also one of those movies where they use make up in an attempt to make the actor look like the real person. It doesn't work. Instead they look like wax figures come to life delivering dialogue and trying to emote through their plasticine mask. The performances are fine if you're able to ignore this insane red dot of distraction staring you right in the face. Woody Harrelson is just too much himself in this film. The way he talks is so distinctive that it is almost impossible for him to disappear inside of a character. Normally I'm okay with this but that horrendous make up job is attempting to mask his normal persona which his voice betrays.

This is also a rather schmaltzy dull movie. The score swells in the areas they wish you to respond at. It didn't work for me. It usually doesn't and much like the make up, this was glaring in its shameless attempt at pandering to base emotions. This could have been really good especially if it dug deep into who LBJ was as a person outside of his public persona. It tried to do that a little bit but it isn't enough.

One of my favorite movies is Nixon from Oliver Stone. That movie is so visually interesting and it moves like a bullet while still retaining the humanity of someone society views as detestable. Anthony Hopkins sounds like Nixon somewhat but he focuses more on becoming who Richard Nixon was behind the scenes. This movie needed to take pointers from this film. I know it is too late for this lesson. I'm merely shouting to the ether any cosmic filmmaking god who might be listening for future presidential biopics.

Skip this one and check out Bryan Cranston in All The Way instead. I give this movie a D.

The Last Movie Star (I) (2017)

The Best Burt Reynolds has ever been

[7/10 · 8 June 2018]

The Last Movie Star: Written and directed by Adam Rifkin

The Last Movie Star stars Burt Reynolds as a former aging movie star who accepts a lifetime achievement award being given by a film festival run by kids fresh out of film school in a bar in Nashville. He thinks he is going to be given first class treatment when it is quite the opposite. He is taken by surprise with sitting coach, being chaffeured by Ariel Winter's barely running junkyard ornament and staying at a motel 6 like establishment. But being back in his home state reliving his life makes him confront what has become of it.

I have to say first off that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. I was expecting a funny little comedy and I got a poignant thoughtful treatise on aging and being grateful for what you have. I was caught offguard to say the very least. This is Burt Reynolds' show all the way and it is easily his best performance since Boogie Nights perhaps even better than. He brings such raw emotion to the proceedings that you are blown away. He deserves all kinds of awards for what he brought to this film.

This movie also has a whole host of interesting actors from Ariel Winter in a very loud bombastic performance, Clark Duke who we might remember a bit from Hot Tub Time Machine(the first one obviously) and Nikki Blonsky from Hairspray. I have to admit that the little film festival that could brought back some memories of film festivals very similar to that I attended. I might have a tiny bit of a bias when it comes to that. I loved even the terrible films I saw. It was a treat to relive that.

This was a warm and exceptionally well done movie with the Burt Reynolds' performance of a lifetime attached to it. This was a pleasant watch and you will not regret seeing this wonderful movie. I give this movie a B.

Grindstone Road (2008)

An awful bore

[2/10 · 27 May 2018]

Grindstone Road: Directed by Melanie Orr and written by Paul Germann

Grindstone Road is another movie where a couple after having suffered a tragedy moving from the great big city to a country home with a devastating secret. You've seen this movie before probably about a million different times. Fairuza Balk is the only reason this movie was even on my radar.

I have put a moratorium on movies like this. I think I've seen enough movies like this to last me a very long time. This is a by the book ordinary film trying to be creepy and failing miserably in the process. We were able to guess every little thing that happened throughout this dull and generic mess.

I'm not sure what time period this is designed to take place in but it features the usual staples of landline phones not working out in the country, going to the library to look at old newspapers rather than searching for these very same things online. This is what most of us would do now. This is why I think it must be in a different time period. I imagine the writer might be trying to bring back this type of story. I wish they hadn't and also wish they hadn't drug Fairuza Balk into this boring nonsense.

The visual style of the movie is very flat. Nothing really pops out until the scenes in the afterlife but even then it's rudimentary. They try for those jump scares but fail immensely. Every type of scare it attempts flops horribly. The main thing about this story is the atmosphere and they can't even figure this one out. This movie is a dull, lazy and boring mess. Skip it.

I give this movie a D.

Terminal (I) (2018)

Terminal-Pretty but boring

[2/10 · 21 May 2018]

Terminal: Written and directed by Vaughn Stein

Here is this wacky, stylish neon lit cartoon revenge noir where there are double crosses and triple crosses and long talks in an empty train terminal along with mystery and late night cafes and wild production design a million times over.

The very first thing you notice immediately about this movie is hyper stylized production design. It has rich shadows and bold colors like a paint set splashed across each scene. It reminded me a lot of Punisher War Zone or Batman Forever. It worked with this movie way more than it did with those. However it seems more like they're trying to take your attention away from the rather lackluster story.

This is a run of the mill revenge story. It drags its feet taking the time for you to get to know these characters but they're dull. Margot Robbie and Mike Myers play the cartoons they're meant to be while the other characters glide in and out of the story.

This was fairly boring. After a few scenes the production design becomes normalized and it doesn't dazzle anymore. The mystery inherit in the narrative can be guessed very quickly and you're left waiting for the characters to catch up to you.

Now I did enjoy some of the against type casting. It was interesting to see Mike Myers and Simon Pegg in this as their parts are vastly different than what they normally do. Margot Robbie can easily hold the screen in this type of part. They're all good actors but that story man yikes.

With all that laid out there, I would skip this one. It's forgettable and nothing good will come of you watching it. I give it a D.

Goat (2016)

Goat- a dark side to hazing

[8/10 · 17 May 2018]

Goat: Directed by Andrew Neel and written by David Gordon Green, Andrew Neel and Mike Roberts

Goat is a movie where we take the college hazing rituals, the kind that are gross, vile, humilating, embarassing and maybe a little funny, and we give them the Full Metal Jacket treatment. It is the story of two brothers, the older one already in the fraternity and the younger one who recently suffered a brutal assault. They enter into Hell Week and it is a descent into debaucherous behavior but from a more intense viewpoint. The film is quiet in places. It doesn't have the music lead you to where it wants you to go. It knows you will experience it without it. It offers no way out.

This can be a difficult film to watch. Hazing has traditionally been the subject of comedy. It's funny to drink to excess, be paraded around campus in your underwear, stuck in a small cage after you've vomited all over yourself. This movie does wallow in those elements. It sets things up by establishing the close relationship the two brothers have before and after the assault. It drags you into what it must feel like watching someone you love go through this kind of humilation especially after suffering the kind of assault that he did.

This was a powerful and very well made movie. It addressed what happens at these places and what it could possibly lead to. This movie is not something I would recommend to everyone. The tension does ratchet up a point that laughter is the only release possible. Be prepared for that when you enter into this film. I give this movie a B.

Battle in Seattle (2007)

A strong look at a terrifying incident

[8/10 · 17 May 2018]

Battle in Seattle: Written and directed by Stuart Townsend

This docudrama is about the protests in Seattle(obviously) against the World Trade Organization that turned vicious and ugly in 1999. This takes a somewhat documentary style camerawork approach to the material. It follows a bunch of different people on both sides of the event humanizing them in an event that could have been enveloped entirely within its political ideologies.

This is some emotionally charged material. Knowing that this actually happened helps push you to investing in the story. This does follow a large group of people around and it is a brief running time so you learn just enough about most of them to relate a bit. I did appreciate the fact that it doesn't demonize the people and make the protestors out to be these heroes. A lot of them aren't. A lot of the time the message they are trying to convey is taken over by anarchists or other people pushing violence. The cops are people with families and sometimes what they are experiencing at home or how the protests affect them as well.

I know this sounds vague and partially generic. It's not. I just want you to find out for yourself what happens to these people caught in the grip of an unwieldly monster that neither side can control. It does sometimes come across as melodramatic and high in weak character development, a byproduct of the short running time I imagine.

This was a good film. It put you right in the middle of the situation and never made it a piece of proganda. It showed you the people caught in the middle and what they lived through and experienced and why they might have decided to keep fighting when things might be looking dour for them. It has solid acting across the board. It never wears out its welcome. It is a solid movie. I give it a B.

Welcome to Willits (2016)

Weird, boring movie that is not a comedy

[2/10 · 11 May 2018]

Welcome to Willits: Directed by Trevor Ryan and written by Tim Ryan

I knew it was too good to be true. I watched three movies recently and this one was the third I watched but the second I'm reviewing. The reason for this is simple, I want to get this madness off of my chest. I watched two good movies and then this one came along and threw me for a loop like a close call car accident. This movie is called Welcome to Willits. It takes place in Willits, California. I imagine the director is from this region. The town really plays no part in the story.

Having this take place in this particular town set in the Emerald Triangle( huge area of marijuana farms) doesn't play into the story much. This movie is about a crazy man who thinks that aliens are invading and trying to abduct him and perform terrifying and painful experiments on him. Kids on a camping trip looking to score. It sounds like an interesting idea for a horror film.

Well Netflix told me that this was a comedy. They lied. This is a weird movie. It starts out with this fake cop show starring Dolph Lundgren for no particular reason. The aliens thing along with the crazy man wearing a tinfoil hat might have been somewhat funny in the writing process but in the movie itself, it really doesn't register that way. They might want to rejigger their algorithm.

This movie feels really long and it takes more than half its running time to get to the meat of the story. It is all set up. It forces us to spend a bunch of time with stock characters and following this dull and overused plotline. It's a boring mess of a movie.

I want to call a moratorium on kids going into the woods to party and finding something evil hunting them movies. It's enough. We need to a break from this overdone story. I'm going to file it with zombie films. I give this movie an F.

Suck (2009)

A real treat

[8/10 · 10 May 2018]

Suck: Written and directed by Rob Stefaniuk

Hello and welcome back to the Shack. I hope you enjoyed that time off after Last Flag Flying. I needed a palate cleanser and my lovely fiancee recommended this lovely, obscure Canadian horror comedy with Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop and Henry Rollins gracing the cast. It's a movie about an indie band whose bassist is turned into a vampire. They're on tour trying to get a record made and the usual pitfalls that come with being a vampire. It works in visual gags to vampire movies past and the tropes associated with the Dracula story such as making the overlooked and underappreciated roadie into the Renfield character. It also makes fun of the music industry and album covers. It has so much in it and it's only 83 minutes long.

So with barbecue chicken cooking in the oven and a Dr. Pepper with a little something extra in the mixture, I set out to watch Suck. Hot damn this movie is pretty fantastic. The jokes just keep popping out and the movie expects you to keep up with their frantic pace. The visuals for this little low budget movie made in Canada are insanely beautiful and clever. They pack so much detail in each frame that you have to kind of sit there in awe of the work.

The music plays a big part of it. It is about the music industry. It has the fragile egos of lead singers. It has that grimy agent character and selling out. To be famous and get people into their music, they have to change themselves in the process. It's also really funny.

This is the key thing to understand. It's funny. If you've read any reviews I've done in the past, you'll know that finding a good comedy is back breaking intensive labor. If comedy is not funny, it has little to nothing else to recommend it. If a drama is bad or a horror movie is bad, it can still be funny. This is my philosophy folks.

With that having been explained, Suck manages to overcome this and be a genuinely funny good time of a movie. I cackled a bit. I chuckled at the Francis Ford Coppola map joke. I snickered at the Abbey Road joke. This is a really solid, really good movie. I can not recommend this enough. I give this movie an A.

Last Flag Flying (2017)

Coming to grips with regret

[7/10 · 4 May 2018]

Last Flag Flying: Directed by Richard Linklater and written by Richard Linklater and Ponicsan

Hello folks and welcome back to the Chicken Shack. We have a new film from profilic director Richard Linklater. The last time we had one of his movies here in the Shack was the terribly bland Bad News Bears remake. This was an Amazon movie which is where I watched it sitting there with a tasty beverage to go along with it. This was more of a somber film. It is about three former buddies who served together in Vietnam on a journey to return the body of the son of one of them to his home to be laid to rest. It is about coming to grips with regret. An experience they shared that shaped who they had become as people and what paths they chose after the fact.

This is a dialogue heavy movie which is no surprise from Richard Linklater as he seems to prefer this type of story. I don't mind it. Sometimes the dialogue can have a stronger impact than action can. It all depends on what story is being told. This was a solid movie. It has the necessary moments of levity to keep the story from drowning in the sadness and sorrow that comes from a film of this type. This is a road trip movie but a good one unlike the last movie I watched Kodachrome. The emotions on display here felt honest and they did come with history between them but it never felt forced.

This movie lives and dies on the relationships between the three men. All the actors in this movie are pretty terrific. They all have strikingly different personalities but they seem to mesh well together. You can tell that even though it's been decades since they've seen each other, they fall back into the connective patterns that made them friends in the first place albeit a little wiser in some respects.

All in all this was a fine movie. It felt a little long and it followed the road trip movie formula a bit too closely but the performances elevated it into a solid but middle of the road film. I give this movie a C.

Kodachrome (2017)

Kodachrome: a story as old as the actual film

[3/10 · 26 April 2018]

Kodachrome: Directed by Mark Raso and written by Jonathan Tropper

Howdy folks let's take a quirky road trip to a small town in Kansas that is the last place to develop Kodachrome film to heal a broken father-son relationship and discover new things about ourselves along the way. If all this sounds familiar, it should. It fits that indie vibe like a tailored glove. It has the beats where they usually are, it has that coffee shop alt rock music to cue us to what the characters are feeling and therefore what we should be feeling. It has all that and some really good naturalistic performances to make things bearable.

It is about being in the shadow of a great artist as their progeny. It is about a dying artform in many respects. Ed Harris literally dying and his camera of choice and film of choice phased out for digital. Jason Sudekis' record label talent scout being muscled out by the big record companies and their manufactured version of music forcing out real artists. It has that bit about being a great artist doesn't excuse you for being a terrible person. All this is fine and is played well enough by highly capable actors.

I can not fault the actors. I know I've mentioned this before in the review but they were the highlight of this film. The story on the other hand hits that road trip check list. I love road trips. I sometimes enjoy road trips movies but when they are this obvious and this predictable, it takes the fun out of things. It is a harmless movie that never reaches the depths of emotions it clearly is trying for. I think the idea of the lasy photo shop processing an art format for the very last time and people travelling from across the country to get their photos done one last time is an interesting idea that I hoped might be explored more. It makes me want to read the article so that's something.

I give this movie a D.

The Florida Project (2017)

Humanity behind Fantasy and Poverty

[7/10 · 25 April 2018]

The Florida Project: Directed by Sean Baker and written by Sean Baker and Chris Bergoch

The latest film from the director of Tangerine takes us in the Chicken Shack into the budget motels just outside of Wal Disney World in Orlando. They come complete with bright, garish colors and low prices to catch people's attention. It is also a place where those who have fallen on hard luck find a place to live. We meet Moonee and her mom Halley living their life while trying to survive the best ways Halley knows how. From the outside these kids are allowed to run wild and cause trouble everywhere they go. You would immediately think of negligent parents and wild kids. You wouldn't be far off from the point. Halley can't seem to get her life together. She wants to party and doesn't think of anything spewing venomous profanity and scamming people to keep on living.

This movie is not one with a traditional plot to speak of. It takes you through these people's day to day lives mainly the children and the motel's manager played by a very understated Willem Dafoe. It feels real. It feels like a documentary even with a movie star like Willem Dafoe in it. It does feel long though. The meandering pace to it can make it feel longer than it might actually be.

This film is truly about the lengths that some people will go to spare children from the harsh realities of poverty. Desperation times brings out desperate measures as the saying goes. Halley takes a turn to crime and it brings about the inevitable downfall. It is a sweet movie. It is a sad movie. The ending ,even though you know it's coming because this path was always the destination, still hit me. You know everyone means well for this child especially Bobby the manager. He cares deeply about these kids and he does what he can to keep them out of trouble. These were real people living just outside of the fantasy world created by Disney. This is a similar story to what Sean Baker did with Tangerine.

With that said, it's a sad movie. It can be incredibly bleak at times. It can drag at moments. I think it is a movie that people should see at least once. I give this film a B.

Area 51 (2015)

A wasted opportunity to bring the interesting idea alive

[3/10 · 13 April 2018]

Area 51: Directed by Oren Peli and written by Christopher Denham and Oren Peli

I have to just lay this out there for folks right off the bat. I can not stand found footage movies. That shaky cam and trying to make things realistic to make people believe that what is happening is real really make me nauseous. I get severe motion sickness from watching this type of cinema. I decided to forgoe my distaste for found footage movies because I found the idea behind this movie to be interesting. Three friends decide to sneak into Area 51 and document what they find there. Every person who is interested in aliens and UFOs know all about Area 51 and everyone wants to know what is going on there.

I'm no different. I went out there to Rachel, Nevada to visit it. I got a little giddy by watching these places on the screen again. I enjoy it and I'm intrigued by it. I still have this nagging feeling though that this movie had no need to be found footage. It could have been a standard narrative and achieved far more success. When they make it into the base and the camera is still going wild, I had a difficult time determining what was happening. I wanted to know some semblance of what was happening. I wanted those moments between the friends and the woman who helps them where we learn about who they were as people. I wanted to know why they were obsessed. We never really learn much about any of them.

You also find yourself asking why are they still filming when things go insane. It's the same question people ask when they watch a found footage movie. Making this a standard narrative removes that problem from the story. The ending was also blah. It has that usual bad ending that a lot of these found footage movies have and it was kinda BS. The beginning spoils this ending as well.

The performances are pretty meaningless and outside of the interest in UFOs and Area 51, there's nothing to do here. It's scattered and a wasted potential. I hate to see that.

I give this movie a D.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)

A yeah whatever movie

[3/10 · 26 March 2018]

Jumanji Welcome to the Jungle: Directed by Jake Kasdan and written by Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers, Scott Rosenberg, and Jeff Pinkner

I was skeptical about this movie at first. They are making another Jumanji but this time it was going to be set in a video game. I rolled my eyes at that. I read reviews for it and the reviews were overwhelmingly positive. This piqued my interest and I decided to give this movie a try.

I was wrong. My initial response was the right one. I had a hard time getting into this movie. The characters are all insufferable right out of the gate. I imagine them being put into Jumanji will bring them a full 180 to being better people and learning valuable lessons. This of course is exactly what happens.

This plays on the tropes that video games adhere to. There are some funny moments that go along with this. Something didn't feel right though. Honestly this movie didn't need to be called Jumanji. It had little or nothing to do with Jumanji in any way. It had a few shout out moments to remind people that hey we are actually making a Jumanji movie.

You could see all the jokes though coming from a mile away especially anything done by Kevin Hart or Jack Black. It was simply too obvious and Kevin Hart was just relying on his schtick again. I understand that a lot of comedians do this when they make movies until they get tired of it. I haven't seen too many Kevin Hart movies and I'm already tired of it. Jack Black was the same way. I know it seems like it would be funny to watch him act like a teenage girl but it was funny when it was done by Rob Schneider in the Hot Chick. They made the usual jokes you would imagine they would make in that situation. They didn't draw it out in an uncomfortable way but it was touched upon.

This was really standard issue stuff slapped with a name that the studio thought would sell and sold it did so we can expect more of this but I;m checking out. I give this movie a D.

Cool World (1992)

A weird and fascinating mish mash of a movie

[7/10 · 26 March 2018]

Cool World: Directed by Ralph Bakshi and written by Michael Grais and Mark Victor

We continue with our single digit Tomatometer rating series. This time we have Cool World made in 1992 in the shadow of Who Framed Roger Rabbit and its rating is 4%. Wow that's not good. That's downright awful. What would make me want to continue down this path of painful, agony cinema? This is a strange movie. I know, I understand that I'm being a bit generous with that description. This transcends strange into bizarro world.

The first thing to remember about this movie is the plot is simple and utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of what this movie represents. It is all about building this world. It doesn't tell you specifically why some things are done the way they are until later on but it does tell you if you're paying attention. This is difficult to do because the entire time you're saying to yourself what is going on here?

The attention to detail for the backgrounds and the characters you see and meet is intricate and never less than fascinating. It is wacky cartoons all over the place. The humans are just whatever for the most part. From what I read about this movie was originally meant which was a hard R live action/animation horror movie, the remnants of that is located in a lot of the DNA of this movie. The situations are designed to be crazy and a bit horrifying while maintaining their cartoon logic.

I also did not realize how sexual this movie is as well. This is rated PG-13 but it is skirting the very far edges of that rating. The entire plot hinges on a doodle as they are called making it with a noid( which is what they call real people). I did love how when the noids interacted with the environment, it shows it as cardboard or 2 D. This attention to detail was the best part of this strange movie.

I can not officially recommend this movie to anyone but I am glad they made it. I found it incredibly fascinating. I give this movie a B.