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The Chelsea Detective (2022)
I don't want to go to Chelsea to watch these detectives
(Reviewed after watching the first 4 episodes of the second season.)
Much more filler than thriller. Probably OK if you want to kill time, but otherwise I'd suggest giving this a miss.
Adrian Scarborough does a reasonable job as DI Max Arnold. I'm so used to Mr Scarborough giving rather theatrical and fruity performances that I was surprised by how pleasantly muted he was in this. But I never felt that DI Max Arnold had much of a character, no unique characteristics that made him interesting.
The first two stories -- spread over 4 episodes -- of the second season were rather bland and boring. I never felt I cared for any of the characters nor how the stories would be resolved. For all this is supposed to be set in Chelsea, I didn't get much of a feel that this is set in a specific as opposed to generic location.
Beacon 23 (2023)
Decompression sickness
The storytelling is so infuriatingly decompressed. The characters are so ridiculously unsympathetic. And the cliffhanger ending of the first season is a real kick in the teeth.
What on Earth -- or in space -- were they thinking when they thought this very thin story could be stretched out for hour after hour after interminable hour?
Barbara Hershey's performance was the only thing I enjoyed in this. I jumped ship at the end of the first season, but I really should have headed to the airlock around the third episode. Such a horrible waste of time. Please learn from my mistake and give it an extremely wide berth.
Joan (2024)
Goes down easily
(Reviewed after watching the first 3 episodes of 6. I abandoned it at that midway point.)
It's well acted, especially by Sophie Turner, who plays Joan. It's had a reasonable amount of money spent on it. It looks good and as bad as you expect the 1980s to look. But there's not much of a story -- at least in the first 3 episodes -- and what story there is, is no different to many such stories that have been told on screen before. And the choice of contemporary music is poor.
I'm not a particular fan of the "noble criminal" genre, so perhaps this was never going to be my cup of tea. In this instance I was especially appalled by the robbery of the painting -- no good deed goes unpunished.
LOLA (2022)
You Really Got Me
Wonderful!
We're told it's all going to go wrong -- that is no spoiler -- and it's intriguing to wonder exactly how things will go wrong. (There's a short headline in a newspaper which gives a hint of what might go wrong.)
One of the strengths of the screenplay is that everything goes perfectly right -- ignoring one hiccough -- for the first 30 minutes. We need to see just how wonderful their invention is, so we're fully emotionally engaged when things start to go wrong.
The wartime footage is used very effectively. Stefanie Martini gives an excellent performance as Martha. And it's strange to think that Spandau Ballet might never have existed.
Christmas Connection (2017)
The hairpiece before Christmas
What is it with Tom Everett Scott's hair in this film? Is it real? If it is real, is it naturally that solid a colour? I found it so distracting that this awfully bland and unconvincing film slipped by me, without leaving much of a trace. (Perhaps there were some reshoots after he had had his hair cut, since there are times when his hair looks reasonably natural?)
There are just too many occasions when Sydney, played by Brooke Burns is drawn further into Jonathan's family and her protestations are just too half-hearted. She seems to have no agency and simply goes along with whatever others propose. Is the moral of this film that a woman cannot be truly happy unless she is a (step-)mom?
Heaven Sent (2015)
It's a hell of a job, getting into heaven
Enjoyable, nothing too serious and with a pitch perfect central performance from Lindsey Gort. (While I can understand why some reviewers disliked the ending, I don't think it even comes close to ruining the film: just ignore it if you don't like it.)
I'm not sure if US realtors are meant to be the spawn of satan, but Sarah, played by Lindsey Gort, seemed like a rather decent and generous person. So I didn't understand why she was made to jump through so many hoops in order to get on the list of those permitted to enter heaven.
Still, I enjoyed this film and especially the performances of Lindsey Gort and Derek Theler.
Nightsleeper (2024)
Trainspotting
"Choose life. Choose anti-virus."
(Reviewed after watching the first episode.)
This rattles along at a fair pace and is nicely twisty.
But I struggled to accept Alexandra Roach as Abby Aysgarth. She's playing a character who's supposed to be acting technical director of the national cyber-crime agency. She looks about 16 and simply doesn't have the necessary gravitas. (And it would be really nice to have a Scottish drama that doesn't wheel out James Cosmo. Just for a change.)
Having coincidentally re-watched Non-Stop (2014) last night, I'm wondering if this is going to be equally entertaining but also equally implausible?
A Good Woman Is Hard to Find (2019)
Steely Dan
Absolutely terrible.
I almost lost the plot when the child psychologist was explaining the boy's temporary mutism. There's no way a professional would explain things in the way she did. Just a laughable caricature of a child psychologist.
This is ostensibly about a "widowed young mother [... seeking] the truth behind her husband's murder", but if feels that that is a very secondary element of the story. It's much more about a woman who is ridiculed by pretty much everyone, especially authority figures and men in general.
It's just impossible to take it seriously. The "gangster" banging on about metaphors is unintentionally laughable.
Please give it a wide berth.
Jerry & Marge Go Large (2022)
Anodyne
Instead of all the bland inaction, I would have liked an explanation of how they "guaranteed" a positive return on their investment. While they do mention the lottery "biting back", they seem to behave as though that is some future event that does not stop them "winning", reliably, in the here and now.
And there's the suggestion that they are depriving "good causes" of money from the lottery. So why the glee in acting immorally?
While the Harvard involvement is a bit of well needed "complication" (as in situation-complication-question-answer), things overall just go far too smoothly for the eponymous (anti-)heroes.
Platform 7 (2023)
Dead miserable
I appreciate that Lisa is dead and has amnesia, but does she have to be so miserable? Jasmine Jobson plays her with a face like a slapped bottom. I just couldn't warm to her character and so didn't care what (had) happened to her.
I watched the first 2 episodes (of 4) and then gave up on it. There was the inevitable misdirection in the first two episodes but, by the end of the second episode, it seemed obvious where this was headed.
Not sure how the British Transport Police feel about their portrayal in this, but they are made to look like amateurs who just mess around investigating whatever cold case takes their fancy.
We Might Regret This (2024)
A little bit too smooth
(Reviewed after watching the first episode on iPlayer.)
It's clear a reasonable amount of work and thought has gone in to this. The script is quite restrained -- there's no straining to make things blatantly comedic. The performances are good and I found Kyla Harris to be very believable as Freya, though I found her character being described as "tetraplegic" rather strange as she seems to be able to use her arms.
But the whole thing feels a little bit too smooth -- I longed for some rough edges.
It may be that I just find the upper middle class milieu of a lawyer who clearly has no money troubles a little indulgent and unsympathetic.
The Twilight Zone: The Shelter (1961)
All fall down
There are several wonderful episodes of this series and many episodes that are much better than this one.
This episode falls down in two respects. First, it is pretty obvious what is going to happen. Second, it doesn't actually tell us anything about human nature that we didn't already know -- we're well aware how people react in life-or-death situations.
If you want to watch something really scary about the Cold War, have a look at Threads (1984).
If you're looking for some of the best episodes of this series, then I'd point you at s2ep11 (The Night of the Meek) and s2ep23 (A Hundred Yards Over the Rim).
Daddy Issues (2024)
An actual comedy
(Reviewed after watching the first episode.)
Bravo BBC for making an actual comedy, rather than something that thinks it is a comedy but is not actually funny.
There are some nice lines here. I especially liked the one about Argos vouchers.
Getting David Morrissey on board as the dad is a good sign. Being the only person not to have watched Sex Education (2019-2023), I'm not familiar with Aimee Lou Wood, but she also seems like a real catch. (Perhaps she looks a little bit too comedic, but she does resist the urge to ham things up.)
It's clear a lot of thought has gone into the scripts and the performances. I'm looking forward to watching the rest of the series.
Druk (2020)
Use case for beer
What an overlong, tedious and surprisingly shallow film. (And, amazingly, an Oscar winner.)
Four guys start drinking a controlled amount of alcohol because an academic suggests humans are deficient in alcohol -- that consuming a small amount of alcohol over a prolonged period will loosen them up so they are better at work and better at life in general. But if a small amount of alcohol is good, might even more be better? Perhaps you can see where this is going? If so, don't waste your time on this turkey.
By the time I was 1h15 in, I was longing for things to be wrapped up in the next 15 minutes. But this drags on for 20 minutes beyond that. And at 1h50 long, this film really outstays its welcome.
The Jetty (2024)
A promising start but it became far too convoluted
(Reviewed after binge watching all four episodes.)
This had a promising start, but it became far too convoluted as the truth of what happened to Amy was gradually revealed. Ember's "coincidental" connection to the case was something that I found harder and harder to accept.
And I clearly wasn't paying sufficient attention, because I didn't initially realise that many of the scenes were flashbacks to the time of the disappearance of Amy. So I was rather confused by two male characters apparently having the same name, when one was simply the younger version of the other.
If you like a convoluted story, you may well enjoy this, but I just found it too hard to suspend my disbelief.
Three Thousand Years of Longing (2022)
Wordy and play-ful
1. I enjoyed this. It was quite wordy, in a good way. Idris Elba was perfect as the Djinn. Dr Alithea Binnie, played by Tilda Swinton, was a wise woman who it was easy to care about. But it did feel more like a play than a film.
2. I enjoyed this. It was quite wordy, in a good way. Idris Elba was perfect as the Djinn. Dr Alithea Binnie, played by Tilda Swinton, was a wise woman who it was easy to care about. But it did feel more like a play than a film.
3. I enjoyed this. It was quite wordy, in a good way. Idris Elba was perfect as the Djinn. Dr Alithea Binnie, played by Tilda Swinton, was a wise woman who it was easy to care about. But it did feel more like a play than a film.
Words on Bathroom Walls (2020)
Restroom stalls
I found this a little too slick, sanitized and cartoony. And far too long -- I assumed it was near the end but I was only one hour in.
I think I struggled to feel real sympathy for Adam (as played by Charlie Plummer) as, to me, he never seemed to be genuinely experiencing his illness. There was too much commenting as if he were an outside observer when he was discussing things with his psychiatrist/doctor.
From the "Storyline" description, I'd thought he was going to be much more open with Maya (played by Taylor Russell) about his actual condition. Perhaps, if he had been, this would have have been a better film?
Tenet (2020)
OKnonKO
It's entertaining enough and moves along at pace, but the underlying story/concept is rather thin.
There are two significant problems with this film.
First, the motivation of the individual people and "organizations" is unconvincing. Especially the motivation of "Protagonist" with respect to Kat, the overarching motivation of Sator and the essential motivation of the people behind Tenet.
Second, once you get to around half way into this film, it becomes rather predictable as the general structure of what is about to come is obvious.
I was reminded a little of Travelers (2016-2018) when watching this and I'd certainly recommend that series, especially the first season, over this film.
The Twilight Zone: The Odyssey of Flight 33 (1961)
Laughably lacking locomotion
So many crew and passengers in the plane comment that they have the sense of travelling at great speed and yet the plane is so stable it looks as if it's bolted to the ground. Of course, it's a set, but couldn't they at least have done something to suggest the amazing speed at which the plane was supposed to be travelling?
While I was reminded a little of the first episode of Land of the Giants (1968), where the "plane" encounters strange atmospheric conditions and crash lands, this episode has nothing to recommend it.
This series has some very well done episodes -- I'm particularly keen on The Night of the Meek (s2ep11) -- but please give this one a miss.
Z for Zachariah (2015)
"All things wise and wonderful, the Lord Bomb made them all"
So many post nuclear war films and TV series are relentlessly dystopian. But this gentle little gem of a film shows that the human spirit might well survive.
Of course, not only the better aspects of human nature survive. But the three characters here are at least trying to be best version of themselves.
Margot Robbie gives a wonderfully believable performance. Chiwetel Ejiofor conveys his character's struggles without overacting. Chris Pine's character, Caleb, feels a little undefined, but that is probably the fault of the script.
("All things wise and wonderful, the Lord Bomb made them all" from Paul Dehn's revised lyrics for the hymn All Things Bright And Beautiful in the film Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970).)
Granite Harbour (2022)
Pumice Paddling Pool
(Reviewed after watching the first episode of the first season.)
What was a Jafaican (sic) wannabe Doctor Who doing here? He looked like he was on a character swap from the BBC Wales production. Will Doctor Who soon have a guest appearance from Rebus or a regenerated Cracker?
While I don't usually struggle with Scottish accents, I did feel like this series is going to require a lot of people to enable subtitles. Perhaps the BBC don't expect to generate many export sales for this show?
No endearing characters here and a very boring story. An awful waste of Dawn Steele and something better broadcast in the afternoon than in prime-time on BBC1 (at least that's when the second season is scheduled to be broadcast).
Blue Lights (2023)
Soapy blue line
(Reviewed after watching all episodes of seasons 1 and 2.)
This was reasonably watchable but, having seen rave reviews for this series, I couldn't work out why some though it was in any way special. It's a reasonably pedestrian tale of policing in Northern Ireland -- and I assume it's only really set there so that the police officers can routinely carry guns.
All the will-they-won't-they seduction-by-pastry of Grace and Stevie puts this firmly in soap opera territory.
The biggest failure here is that the stories told in seasons 1 and 2 are simply not that novel or entertaining. And I really struggled to accept the "man of the people" theme of the season 2.
So, entertaining if you're reasonably easily pleased, but in no way any special.
Men (2022)
mens rea
I just can't take Rory Kinnear seriously as the cleric. While the script is clearly at fault, his rather limp performance makes this feel more like a farce.
While I think I get the "message" of this film, it's just so boringly and poorly elaborated. And while the flashback scenes between Harper and James perhaps hint at a certain oddness, I'd suggest this film would have worked much better if earlier events had had a vanilla flavour. That way, it would have been easier to have felt sympathy for Harper.
I also couldn't buy Harper's easy credulity. She seemed to accept what was going on in the final part of the film without, even for a minute, questioning her own sanity.
Les enfants des autres (2022)
La vie quotidienne
This is a rather bland film. Everything goes relatively swimmingly for a long time and then, when things do get complicated, they are only ever so slightly complicated.
It feels like this is a distillation of the many films/stories in which a woman who desperately wants a baby, struggles to conceive in her late thirties. But in distilling all those other works, it lacks any unique flavour.
It doesn't feel like events are really happening to Rachel and Ali. It certainly doesn't seem like they really feel them. Things happen and they seem to shrug their shoulders and move on. Their lives just aren't interesting or stimulating enough for either them or us.
Big Mood (2024)
Bilge Milk
Oh dear. Another unfunny comedy. A weak first episode that didn't draw me in.
My general suggestion in response to an unfunny comedy is to suggest that the writer -- generally the sole writer -- gets a writing partner. But it looks like the sole writer here -- Camilla Whitehill -- has graduated from writing with a partner (Nicola Coughlan on Whistle Through the Shamrocks).
There seems to be a belief that if you use a cliche comedy situation -- visiting the school you attended as a student -- that's sufficient to make something funny appear out of thin air. But I'm afraid it's simply not that easy. You need to work at the script -- and keep reworking it -- until actually funny things happen and actually funny things are said.