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Marco Polo (2014)
Ridiculous garbage
Why pretend this has any historic significance and call it what it is? Misogynistic Anglo-Saxon capitalist propaganda. How many bearded clichés can you put in one episode? So this is "Asian" so it must have Yin and Yang in there somewhere, oh and yes, let's mention "The Art of War" and since Weinstein's name is attached let the innocent boy walk through a harem of lusty naked women.. How ridiculous! I don't understand why women even play these parts at all? The exotic willing "Oriental" woman is a racist stereotype and should be flushed down the toilet with the rest of all the stereotypes. These courts with all the back stabbing and stupid banter is a silly representation of Anglo-Saxon board rooms where inflated egos pretend they "rule" like archaic kings and people literally have to bow and accept their superiority. Make it stop. Please!!
Emily the Criminal (2022)
To whomever made this, take a class in suspense.
First responses: 1. This is not a movie, this is show and tell. 2. I understand the portrait of the underlying issues but jeez, please take your audience a little more serious.
Explanation/apologies: ok, maybe I have different standards but I think movies should be engaging, as in, I want to involve you, the audience, in the issues at hand, and this movie doesn't. Whether you like this or not but movies are Medieval morality stories where a person has to make a choice between good and bad. However, in this story someone else has already taken the decision for the main character. Had I been a woman I'd be very upset by this sexist, she has to do what I tell her, approach. For not one moment I believed she could make a decision on her own. Result: it was boring to watch, I fast forwarded it. Whoever wrote and I'm sure directed as well, learn about suspense, conflict and stakes.
In from the Cold (2022)
So we have female superhero, but not American
The main character in this series is a cartoon-like superhero with great superpowers and a magnificent back story. But since it's not a book nor an American I guess it doesn't count. I want to bet that a similar story set in Cleveland or Arizona, but with superhero costumes would get excellent reviews.
I look at what drives a story and finding out what the hell is going on is a great way to propel a plot, just add a few complicated relationships and voila, you have your Netflix show.
The language choices the high tech Russians and even the piano playing and the stapling, that is all part of the cartoon world reality.
My major praise is that this movie is told from a female POV and that just rocks. We see that more an more and telling by the comments most dudes don't seem to get it, welcome to the 21st century fellows!
Tribes of Europa (2021)
Oh come on!!
Three stars for the bilingualness. I love that.
I also love the female protagonists. Good.
But the rest? It's a mess! Where are we? Who are these people? Why use cliché after cliché? Why the brutalist scenery? Why the horses? Why the all male harem? Come on!
To me this is one of those Netflix traps. Gimme money!
A movie or tv series is a medium that occupies ones brain.. when made badly it can be harmful to someone's mental health... just saying.
And Atlantis? Really.
Can we please be more creative ??
Ophelia (2018)
Lovely company..
You think we can have a reviewers ball one day? You know, when the virus is over and we rent a fantasy castle and all get wasted? So, yes, I'm with most of the reviewers here and would like to add a few things. First things first, Ophelia was played by a dude and the name Ophelia did not exist at the time.. Shakes made it up. And he had a dirty mind. Opheeeeliaa... Sounds like... Exactly. Shakespeare had a lot of phun with names. Ever thought about the name Othello. Two o's and then a thell, or hill, in the middle.. Hmm? Yes, I think that too. The other thing I would like to mention is that Hamlet was appropriated by the Germans in the late 18th century. Young Werner by Goethe ring a bell? Well, that book was extremely popular (think Harry Potter) all over Europe. And in Hamlet Schiller found the perfect brooding teenager. His translation made Hamlet popular in Europe. So popular the American scholars like Furness had to show the world that Hamlet was indeed part of their Anglo-Saxon heritage and not German. So in this tradition this movie was made, but instead of a brooding boy we have a feisty girl, who didn't die but also, at the end of the day, wasn't able to save her lover. Hamlet the play is being franco'd here - - you know, turned in to a French romantic drama, think Victor Hugo, Dumas etc. But bad... really really bad. This whole English cultural supremacy thing is starting to rub me the wrong way.. really. Do we really have to grow up with the notion that Jesus, Hitler and Mohammed all spoke English? Insanity.. Where are those instant translators? Let's get rid of this nonsense.
Fantastic Fungi (2019)
Egomentary
Is that a word? Egomentary? And talking about words, this is another red flag: "paradigm shift." God, can we at least address our own biases? What bothers me most about these Riefenstahl-like "films" is that a few people walk away with their pockets filled while the main issue is not being addressed, what can we do except buying the guy's products and or his books? It's absolutely and utterly ridiculous how a story about "connectedness" only focuses on the one individual; talk about paradox. Also, for the "woke" among you, I am totally and wholeheartedly behind everything this guy is saying, but criticizing form doesn't mean I disagree with content - why do I have to explain that? I did give it a few stars, because the photography was lovely.. I can watch funghi grow all day long. Also, we keep hearing about species being endangered, is that true or can we harvest these things as much as we want?
What Dreams May Come (1998)
Well, this one didn't age well.
I vaguely remember seeing this movie when it came out and the only thing I was able to recollect was the "paint set." The main character steps into a scene which is made to look like an impressionist painting (which it isn't) and then steps into wet paint.
Just for the record, heaven and hell don't exist, I hope you understand that, so when we see movies depicting these places they represent something, and that something in this case is retirement. What is the ideal place to retire? A place that kinda looks rugged and somewhat Italian, and not only that, all issues with the kids have been resolved (death according to Freud is a new beginning, so these kids ran away and hoped for a better life without these ridiculous parents.) But most of all this movie is about: do what the man says. The RW seems to be type cast to play wiggly characters who always gets what he wants with a stupid smile on his face. I understand his personal struggles, I'm talking about casting an directing struggles. Think about this entire world being created in this movie just for him (i.e. By him). And then we men are to identify with this character and what does this film teach us? We, no YOU (male person) are the CENTER of the universe. Bury this flick.
Captain Fantastic (2016)
Finding truth through juxtaposition.
To me this movie is about mental health. The protagonist (in Stanislavski terms) is not able to cope with her disease and does something that sets off a series of events culminating in a scene that involves a stainless steel toilet on an airport. The entire story, especially where her parents are involved, is a palimpsest of the truth. The truth is that mental illness is a serious medical disease that needs to be treated as such. The kids growing up in nature on one side and the suburban family and then later on the Lord and Father on the other side represent the two sides of her illness, The adventurous dad, the Mosquito Coast references, understandable, but it's what we don't see that makes this movie important.
I Care a Lot (2020)
Oy oy oy, it's a morality tale!
The production value, the writing and the casting was worth the 6 stars. But, my God! The ending! Really? I think the creators have an issue with female villains. I would have liked to see them go up agains Tony Soprano, this guy's crew was weak.
This is one of those intriguing movies you don't want to turn off, but afterwards you realize you have been duped. I feel duped! Why didn't she get the tropical island? Why did she deserve punishment? Medieval morality plays were kinder to their protagonists!
Downhill (2020)
Correct
Oh man. They went there. Brave actors to show annoying rich American as they really are: extremely traditional and prude. How many movies do we see where American are confronted with other cultures and come off as "not cool." And how many movies do you see where incapacitated parents are being confronted by their "normal" kids. And how many moves do you see where Julia Louis Dreyfuss is seduced. The outdoor shots are gorgeous by the way. The relationship story a little thin but the characters reveal a truth that needs to be addresses: Come out of your bubble! #stuckup
Lilyhammer (2012)
10 Because, why not....
I have been one of the lucky ones who has seen Norsemen before Lilyhammer and kinda forgot about the Sopranos. To me Giovanni is like Rufus in Norsemen, an outsider from New York, which is, think about it, the Rome of today. From my point of view it is absolutely brilliant to see the sidekick play a version of Giovanni in another series. Norwegians are culturally isolated and they know that, that's why these Dionysos-like characters work and are able to get away with a lot of nonsense. They also have a good sense of humor about themselves. don't forget. it's a Norwegian series. If this would be a Dutch of German production it would suck, the writers over there are so self-righteous, they's put the main character in prison at the end of the first episode, and say to each other, job well done, glad we put the guy away. What stands out to me in this show, and Norsemen takes that to the next level, is the way they approach the English language. Whether they do it conscientiously or not I don't know, but they have a friendly way of mocking the English language and indirectly the Anglo-Saxon culture and its intrinsic money based power structure. The 10 is mostly for that. More of that please.
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
Malek's mission
I grew up with Queen. I remember seeing Bohemian Rapsody on TV for the first time and I remember being mesmerized by Mr. Mercury's performance. They didn't sing like that in church. Last night I saw Rami Malek and was just as fascinated. The story, the direction and the design are as slick as any Hollywood movie, but what captured me was that I as a "consumer" was watching the actor Malek looking at Mercury's life from the inside. He didn't embody Mercury (impossible) but observed it. Just like he observed Mercury's surroundings and his battles. I was fortunate to have met and workshopped with Augusto Boal. He once said: "Theatre - or theatricality - is the capacity, this human property which allows man to observe himself in action, in activity." Here we see an actor who applies that principle to his role and lets us all observe the actor Mercury through his action. Boal's mission was to use theatre to induce social change, I think it was Malek's mission to have us look at our own daily performances, because we all are, to use Boal's word, spect-actors.
Bloed, zweet & tranen (2015)
Missed opportunity
I grew up with the music of André Hazes, I cried, I laughed, I belted his words into the deep of the night in Amsterdam dives, Groningen "kniepes" and Frisian port bars. Honestly I didn't know much about his life and was looking forward to watching this bio-pic.
From a storytelling perspective the movie is chaotic and unfocused. The problem in my humble opinion is that the makers felt the need to create a 'complete' picture while ignoring the main story arch which is right front and center and remained undeveloped.
André Hazes' self-destruction can be traced back to his father's vicious abuse. Not only he but also his mother and most likely his siblings were severely beaten by his alcoholic father - if we have to believe this movie. It would have been more than wonderful to see how the father-son story relationship would have developed, culminating in the ultimate revenge in the Concertgebouw.
I understand this is not the place to rewrite a movie, but, and this is the case with many Dutch movies, it misses the point and is thereby losing a larger audience who might be interested more in the story than in the cult status of this folk singer.
La La Land (2016)
From saccharine to cynicism
I vote "excellent" because I *judge* a movie only from the perspective as a pathetically passive audience member whose only power is either to stay or walk away. The movie is excellent because of its integrity. It doesn't polish up the actors (like they did in earlier days), the movie doesn't even bother to make the characters look "cool" or their abodes look like they were designed by your favorite interior designer. What they deal with every day (the songbook, "is this gluten-free?") is also real. If I would be living in LA I would go through exactly the same. Even their romance feels real to me. The song and dance parts are of course a manipulated hyper-reality, but they are real in the sense that they are not trying to dazzle me, the audience, with impossible moves and taped-up smiles. With a little practice I can make those moves. Failure to become an actress, selling out principles, experiences are real too. But neither falls back to cliché behavior like drug use and violence, which makes it also real, most people move on after they tried "the acting thing" and become insurance saleswomen and not druggies. What's also real is that you have to put yourself out there to get noticed. What's also real is that when you want your own club you have to have some earned money in the bank to realize *your* dream. You also have to have people around you who have your back and willing to take that extra step; pick you up from Colorado to do an important audition. It's also real that success trumps people in Hollywood and although the ending seems confusing, it's beyond *real* that people in this hyper-capitalistic state we are in opt for money and status over another human being they deeply love. I think it's cynical, but, the real clinchers is that if you or I would be in a similar position would we ignore the pain that is tearing apart our heart and pour ourselves into the next song or the next role?
Als de dijken breken (2016)
Brilliant Reli-prop
What Dutch drama does very well is create emotional pits or moments. This is not a series with an overarching story line, a brilliant solution, or powerful characters. All of the characters are two dimensional and very predictable. Adding the iconic Aart Staartjes, Netherlands' quintessential 'kindervriend' adds a subplot that seems to want his monumental body of work. The writers should have had him play himself, there was absolutely no need to create a character for him. The other story lines seem to have been pulled from soaps. A man is about to leave his family for a "normal" woman but is now forced to stay with them and later with his estranged extended family. Another man is socially disturbed and needs to find his family in Belgium where his wife, a son and a mother in life are struggling on their own. Then there is the Turkish-Dutch prison guard who "escapes" with the Belgian. His loved ones are blown up and killed just because they followed the orders of the clueless prime-minister. The latter spills the beans to his wife who selfishly creates a stampede when she takes her sick father to safety while he told the people to stay put. The story snowballs to the bizarre last episode where "we" Dutch literally return to the year "zero" by building 'terpen,' elevations. There were moments I really enjoyed, there were mise-en-scenes which impressed me, but throughout the series I kept wondering, what is the point of all this? The series was co-produced by the EO, which is an Evangelical Public Television Company. The last scene is between the Prime Minister and the Turkish-Dutch prison guard, the only main character with a gun in this show. After the PM read his emotional letter he decided to have him vetted and set up a meeting. The meet at a provisional grave yard next, where his family was buried (and not in Turkey where he wanted them to be interned for eternity.) He pulls the gun at the PM but decides not do kill him but forgive him, to which the PM bursts out in tears stating that he never expected to be forgiven. They hug, the end. I honestly think it's brilliant reli-prop (religious propaganda).
Feuchtgebiete (2013)
Body Language
I am a student and admirer of the works Antoine Artaud and am very pleased to see a movie breathing the spirit of my second favorite insane Frenchman. This movie is aimed at the idiots who think they have to bear children. The body fluids and bleeding assholes are metaphors for what happens in the minds of children of infantile parents. I'm not big on symbolism in movies, but this thing a Bosch puzzle, it just goes on an on.. Four guys jerking off in a pizza, I think it's brilliant, think about it, what do these parents feed their kids spiritually? Crap topped with crap. It is no wonder says she has had herself sterilized because she doesn't want any kids. The sad and also - in a perverted way - beauty of the end is that, life repeats itself. The asshole represents the circle of life. This is what Fassbinder would make if he would be alive. Have you paid attention to the face lines of this woman? It's very similar to Fassbinder's heroins. Life is good in Germany, you can tell by movies like this. No freedom for an honest movie here in the US.
Il était une fois Jean-Sébastien Bach (2003)
A pilgrimage with camera
It's so easy to criticize a movie to its bone marrow, especially this one. Everything was wrong with it, the costumes, the historic details, the Francofication, the acting, the costumes, the absence of God in his life, the musical performances. But.. I have to say, I did finish watching the movie, while I usually am very quick hitting the stop button. Behind all the frivolous nonsense I saw a movie made by people who were madly in love with this man and his music. That's why they retraced his steps literally, because they were on a pilgrimage with a camera. It reminded me of The Mill and The Cross, which is about a painting of Pieter Breugel the Elder by that title. Although the historic depiction in this movie seems to be more accurate, that is not the point of the movie. The point is to literally enter the aforementioned painting. You can't 'enter' music like you can enter a painting, but, what these film makers seemed to be doing was to go to places where Bach was breathing hoping to inhale a few of the molecules Bach once exhaled. To me it felt that they were using the actors as a vehicle to get closer to their idol. It worked for me. Again, as a movie it wouldn't get a passing grade at any film school, but, as a means of transferring passion, it worked phenomenal, after wards I listened to Bach's music for many hours and I can't wait until Easter when the St Matthew's Passion will be performed.
Flikken Maastricht (2007)
Clueless
I'm watching Flikken Maastricht via BVN, which is a free to air satellite broadcast. Maastricht is to The Netherlands what New Orleans is to the US, but without the music. The food, mardi gras, French influences, those are all similar. In the series there's nothing that refers to the couleur locale, save for the back ground. The indigenous Maastricht people speak a beautiful language, just like New Orleans cajun, but I haven't find one character who sounds like a local.
But, what bothers me most is how the writers are unable to build a story. They have no clue how to set up the key scenes of the program. It's structured like an Emeril show, first you take this, than you do that and voilá, there's your gumbo.
How many foreign companies have picked up the show?
Una giornata particolare (1977)
what's going on with this movie?
Why isn't there a decent copy of this movie available? This brilliant cinematic event (has anyone ever figured out that opening shot?) gets bad reviews on Amazon because they only seem to sell bootleg copies of VHS-tapes, it's a shame. The only possible explanation I can think of is that the distributors expect this movie not to sell. If you are a beer-drinking, big game hunting, football-obsessed, wife-beating American executive would you be able to sell me a movie about a loser? No. For the same same reason you drive (ride) an F150 and you will never be able to get near a Peugeot or a Fiat. This particular movie is a great example of how movies are cultural markers exposing elements of a culture that is in a way a modern version a the Roman empire. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hater, I still think there are more positives than negatives in the US, I'm still here, aren't I, but when it comes to the American macho culture I have to pass. What we see in this movie is the acceptance of a homosexual man. Note, there is no such thing as gay-life style or demands for gay- marriage. Because many people are still incapable of accepting men like Gabriele gay life in this country has been socially segregated, don't ask don't tell in the workplace, in your own area you can do whatever you want. You have to be that F150 guy otherwise you will not make it here. If I had a billion dollars I would have that movie broadcast as a superbowl commercial.
U-Carmen eKhayelitsha (2005)
There is hope
Call me a softy, or sentimental, but merging two ancient traditions to see it not only work but enforce each other is nothing short of a miracle. I think it's a victory for the human experience to discover that boundaries are artificial and should be disposed of. I think the clinking and clonking of the stairs and the passing trains during the final scene are plea for honesty and integrity in contemporary cinema. It also shows how stuck up we are in today's operatic environment. The ability to suggest leniency towards what is real in this movie is absolutely brilliant. Watching a movie like this one gives me hope that there are still people out there who believe movie making is a form of expression of what we believe freedom should feel like. Another encouraging element is the sense of community that this movie is exhaling without romanticizing the life of the poor; they're proud of their community, they're proud of their traditions and they love to show it (although no animals were harmed). The only problem I have is that I will never be able to see Carmen, the opera, in the traditional way again. On the other hand, think of the possibilities, Hamlet in the rain forest, Ibsen in Tehran, Brecht in Mumbai - thinks are looking up in the world.