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Reviews
Cocktail (1988)
Maybe the Worst Movie Ever Made
So the story is about two bartenders in NYC who have their choice of women. I was around in the 80s, and you still had to make more than a bartender makes to land Upper East Side women. And if the bartenders threw glasses around as they sang to the jukebox, someone would call Bellevue.
I didnt know who this was for then and I still dont know. High school freshmen looking to get laid? Queens girls dreaming of Manhattan bartenders? And than the feeble love stories. Well gee, rich girl doesnt want boy to know shes rich so he can love her for herself. Never heard that one before.
The criminal here is the writer who actually thought this --- up.
Pawn Sacrifice (2014)
Movie a 9, Fischer a 1
Never has there been a competition movie where the "hero" is so loathsome. The funny thing is, Fischer was much MORE loathsome in real life than as portrayed in the movie. In a more normal world, someone who acted like Bobby Fischer would be locked in an insane asylum and not foisted on the world because of a particular genius.
At the same time, the movie is gripping. I came of age the summer of 1972 so everything that happened that summer is still so vivid to me. I watched every second of every game, chessboard in front of me. Anyone of a certain age should really see this movie and relive the period.
Patriots Day (2016)
Great style, story, but...
It's really hard to find fault with this movie. It shows how law enforcement broke this case in 3 days. The tensions between different branches of law enforcement and politicians. The shootout in Watertown one of best ever filmed.
I find some fault with the relative lack of attention to fact that this was ISLAMIC terrorism. The two bombers are portrayed as thugs rather than Islamists, which they were.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
A Ripoff of the Other ALIEN movies
Here's an easy one: Can you guess how our "strong" female character kills the alien?
Yes, Ripley junior is back. Not as attractive as Ripley with a definite lesbian vibe to her. Can you guess what happens to the captain? Yup, same as before. I don't know how the armies of the world have been able to defeat their opponents with male armies; clearly, according to Scott, all it takes is one good woman shouting orders.
I get the PC thing. I even bought into Ripley back when. But it has gotten old. Bad white men, strong women and blacks, it's like A Democratic National Convention.
If Ridley Scott just doesn't have a new idea in his head for the ALIEN series, just let it go. Paul McCartney no longer writes music because he can't.
Open Water (2003)
Not Noticing Gorgeous Woman Missing?
I liked this movie for what it is: Couple are left behind in ocean, wait to die or get rescued. Dont know until end which is will be.
But this one has a plot hole the size of the ocean.
Blanchard Ryan is gorgeous. She is fully nude early on and unforgettable. She and boyfriend get on boat with maybe 10 other people plus 3 in crew. Ryan is clearly the only gorgeous woman on board. But when the couple fail to return on time, no one on board notices her missing? In real life, EVERY guy and most of the women noticed her and would notice if she wasnt back on board. Yet the story would come apart if someone did notice so they just ignored the obvious.
Munich (2005)
Spielberg's Bitburg
Towards the end of Reagan's second term, he agreed to visit and lay flowers at an SS cemetery in Germany. Most people thought this was morally wrong but he did it anyway. Now Reagan was a good man and a great POTUS, but he went to hell because of this abomination.
Spielberg will join Reagan in hell for MUNICH. For a famous Jew to make a movie in which he strikes a moral equivalence between people who murdered Olympians in cold blood because they were Jewish and the people who sought to bring these murderers to justice is also an abomination. So why did Spielberg do it? Because he is much more liberal than Jewish.
The movie itself is OK. 3 stars for the cinematography and acting, but the movie reeks of cowardice and duplicity. At least the Academy didnt reward this abomination with major awards.
The Verdict (1982)
Great Movie with almost NO bad reviews
I've loved this movie since I saw it when it came out, for all the reasons and more that people have written here. Newman at his best. James Mason even better. Great plot. Both the best law movie AND the best medicine movie.
But I write here now because of a dinner conversation held earlier today in which I noted that every great movie has dozens of really negative reviews. So we went to GODFATHER, ET, GONE WITH THE WIND, SHAWSHANK, even SINGING IN THE RAIN, and sure enough there are dozens of negative reviews. Sometime later I remembered this movie and went to the reviews to see how it fared: only 2 negative reviews. Maybe the best reviewed movie on IMDb, and well deserved.
The Zookeeper's Wife (2017)
Another Good Goy Holocaust Movie - but well done
As others have written, we've seen this formula many times before: Righteous Christians put their lives in danger to rescue Jews during the Holocaust. As a Jew whose people came from Poland and Germany, I thank the Zookeeper and his wife.
And yes, the usual Jew haters always show up on IMDb to claim the Holocaust is a fraud. Good luck with that.
I liked this movie because it tells a story without going over the top, which many Holocaust movies do. The fact that it happens in a zoo makes it different.
But it also must be said: The vast majority of Poles LOATHED the Jews and were thrilled to see the Germans murder them. Indeed, even after the war. Poles would pray upon freed concentration camp victims and murder them. A movie such as this shouldnt scrub the dirt from Polish hands.
The Girlfriend Experience (2016)
What Is This New Season? It's Not GF Experience
I loved Riley Keough and the story line of the first season and was looking forward to this new season, but it has been NOTHING - no girlfriends, no sex, no stories, NOTHING. It's like the producers decided that what worked in season 1 should find no place in season 2.
Lesbians? Who doesn't like lesbians except in half of season 2. In a world full of beautiful lesbians, the producers found the two plainest women in Canada and then didnt show them having sex. The black actress in the other half might be attractive but who can tell when she is completely dressed the whole time. Who's her boyfriend? They decided to go a whole season without her having one. Maybe call this thing the No Girlfriend Experience.
I think this is the first and only review of season 2 although the finale will take place this Sunday. I think that should tell someone that NO ONE IS INTERESTED in the pile of --- that they foisted on us.
The Profit (2013)
Phony and Getting Phonier
I've watched some of the older episodes as well as a recent one, and IT'S ALL THE SAME THING: Owner meets Marcus, owner cries, owner gives away half his business, owner fights with Marcus, and then either they hug at end or Marcus walks away. I'm not sure if they hand everyone a script but clearly the plot of each segment of each episode is discussed with the owners and all involved. I would not be at all surprised if they take 2 or 3.
Case in point: Marcus is driving along somewhere else but with a camera on as he drives. Hmm, why would he do that? Well, the phone rings and its an owner telling Marcus something that gets him upset. Gee, aren't we lucky that camera just happened to be on to capture it all. Another time the cameras just happen to be rolling as an ex-girlfriend of an owner shows up "unannounced". This is real like I'm the Pope.
Look, I get it: It's entertainment. Who cares if it's real or not. Well I do. If you tell me what I'm watching is real, I expect to see real things, not scripted or staged things.
Age of Love (2007)
OK, I Admit that I watch this junk
I am a professional, 50-year-old man, and I watch this crap every week. Why? Because I hate people, and only people who hate people could enjoy such a show.
What does Mark, our tennis hero, get out of this? TV exposure and the chance to have NBC pimp for him. We know that he actually had sex with only one of them (Jenn) but, if he is smart, he's had sex with most/all of them. And it didn't cost him a dime. Does he plan to marry any of them? Of course not. Silly.
But what do the girls/women get out of this? TV exposure, but none of it good. Money? I don't think so, not even the winner. So why do it? They have a better chance of finding love at the supermarket. And why do they cry and carry on? It's a game, It means nothing. Eat the free food, stay at the nice hotel, and tell your kids about it. But don't make believe that all this is real.
As a 50-year-old, Jenn is my pick by far. The hottest but also the least needy. She will rock Mark's world for a few weeks until he moves on to the next 25-year-old. Amanda? Gorgeous but unstable. She could get Justin Timberlake - why does she cry over over-the-hill Mark? She thinks all this is real.
Finally, the winner is MEGAN! Yes - she was never eliminated, she simply didn't get on the plane! Get it? She comes out of nowhere next week and wins his heart, while Jenn curses and Amanda cries! Great TV.
But the week after, it will be gone from memory like an enema pill.
I do hate people.
Transformers (2007)
What a Mess
OK, I'm not 10 or 14. If I were, maybe TRANSFORMERS would be "awesome" or "a thriller ride." But I'm not. I expect some story, some logic. There is none.
What's good about this movie? A really hot blonde, and an even hotter brunette. And the parents are cute. But that's it.
It is a holy mess of noise and cartoon-like effects from beginning to end. Fine actors like Jon Voight and John Torturro make fools of themselves for a paycheck. Everyone is told to look in awe, all of the time, so everyone is constantly looking up in awe. The black actors are there to tell jokes or curse - nice stereotyping.
If this were a meal, the cook would taste it and then dump it in the trash. Did Bey or Spielberg look at this thing before serving it to us? Barf!
My Super Sweet 16 (2005)
Proof that the Worst People get on TV
The Jerry Springer show was the tin standard for all these years, but now along comes MY SUPER SWEET 16 to sink lower into the primordial muck of TV.
Where to begin? 15-year-olds want sweet 16 parties. Fair enough. And most parents are happy to throw nice parties for their kids. But these are parents and kids from hell. The parents allow unbelievable rudeness by their spawns of the devil, yet lavish these monsters with clothes, cars, etc. that no 16-year-old deserves. Clearly, the parents are paying to be on TV, not realizing that they are not seen as "cool" but as pathetic. I would not do business with these people, and hopefully others won't as well.
Most of these kids need a swift kick in the butt. They too play to the cameras, and embarrass themselves in the process. Their friends seem equally obnoxious. If this is America's future, maybe we would be better off under the Taliban.
Enjoy your 15-minutes of fame. No one remembers you, other than as the "fat one" or the "loud one." Enjoy the cars because you have little chance of becoming employable. And mom and dad - be proud. Your little monsters will turn out as gluttonous and useless as you are.