joisepeterson Reviews

The Rocky Horror Picture Show: Let's Do the Time Warp Again (2016 TV Movie)

Why does Hollywood ruin classic/cult movies by remakes. Are they running out of ideas?

[1/10 · 23 October 2016]

2016 is the year of remakes of cult classics. I recently watched The Blair Witch (which is terrible) and now I saw clips on YouTube of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The producers, writing staff and over all crew ruined such a magical beauty which is RHPS. The acting in the remake is over the top. Watching the chick who played Columbia die was cringe worthy. Looked like she was having an fit instead of just falling down dead. The costumes are terrible, Laverne Cox is trying to hard to be like Tim Curry and not putting her own spin on Frank N Furter. Eddie is known to have been a victim of Frank N Furter's and had half his brain removed to be placed in Rocky. Where was Eddie's surgical gash on his head? Adam just looks to pretty.

I can go on ranting at what is wrong with this remake. All I can add is I have seen professional stage productions and a high school performance which were way brilliant then the tripe Fox spewed out. What were the producers thinking of butchering a classic.

Hannibal (2013–2015)

I can't wrap my head of Hannibal being in the 21st Century.

[4/10 · 9 December 2014]

I was excited to hear of the further stories of Hannibal Lector. After watching episode I did enjoy the story line except I found it odd that Hannibal is a middle aged man in the series, surround with modern technology. Such as iPads and cellphones.

Excuse me but in Hannibal Rising by Thomas Harris, young Hannibal was a child during WWII which had the setting of his development into a cannibal.

So wouldn't this series have Hannibal being middle aged in the 70s/80s? It lost me.

Mads Mikkelsen is okay as Hannibal but I would love to have found out how he transition from Europe to America and forming an American accent?

Porn Star Zombies (2009)

Youtube movie for DVD?

[2/10 · 3 November 2013]

A friend of mine got this on DVD thinking it was a sexy horror. So we watched it on Halloween.

Let's just say it was like watching a college production of a poor film. The make up was terrible, acting terrible and plot line bizarre.

To be honest I thought it was something from Youtube. That it was a movie for laughs. There was some funny one liners but in the end it was terrible.

I wasn't scared however what caught me off guard was a movie trailer about a homemade video of a group of people being tortured. Now that was a bit scary and gross.

Bait (III) (2012)

For a horror movie it was comedic.

[2/10 · 23 October 2012]

Last night I went to my local drive in and it had a double feature. Paranormal Activity 4 and Bait.

What can I say after being scared out of my wits with Paranormal Activity 4 seeing Bait afterwards was kind of a let down.

With a mixture of famous Australian/American cast (Why was that?) in this horror movie I thought it would be exciting and go for another round of jumping in my car seat.

Alas the first ten minutes in I actually laughed until I had tears coming out of my eyes. The dialouge was worse then the Young and the Restless. The acting was sloppy and when I saw the CGI shark. It makes Bruce the Shark from JAWS look more realistic.

The only great actor in this film was the little dog.

All I can add is the concept sounded great however the script was clearly in need or work and it makes me wonder why the actors accepted an acting job in this poor movie any way? I guess money talks.

Instead of being scared I ended up making out with my husband and playing games on my phone.

The Last Airbender (2010)

A let down for cartoon fans...

[10 October 2011]

I finally rented The Last Airbender to watch with my boyfriend who is a fan of the series. I know we are adults but there is a great story line.

First thing we noticed was the way the girl playing Katara pronounced Aang as Ung as she spoke the introduction. I thought I misheard it but after hearing her saying it over and over it was like WTF.

I admit I laughed at the only Caucasians in the south watertribe.

The fire prince's face was not "burnt" it looked more like a bruise. I'm sure the markup artist could have done a better job but alas it looked fake.

So many failures in this movie.

The only thing I did like was the animation, the costumes and beautiful scenery.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)

Only one good scene.

[2/10 · 27 July 2010]

I'm not really into the Twilight Saga, having only seen Twilight and now Eclipse.

Five minutes into the movie I could see how boring it was going to turn out.

The acting is still wooden and to be honest I think the actors don't get into their characters. They try but I think there is a thin veil of hatred for the characters and to them it is just a franchise and money on the side.

What I mean is I saw The Runaways with Kristen Stewart and Daktoa Fanning and both actors have far more emotions, expressions and seem to really get into character as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie. While on Eclipse their skills are so wooden, Kristen as Bella is still a blank canvas only slightly going "Oh no Jacob don't fight Edward" with a stunned fish expression.

Robert tries to capture Edward but as I said they seem sick of the character.

The fight scene was the only worth while scene. Sorry this isn't going to be in my DVD collection.

St. Trinian's (2007)

Enjoyed this film, word of warning.

[8/10 · 8 May 2009]

Based on the creation by Ronald Searle and the movie The Belles of St Trinian's (1954). This current verison of the naughtiest school in Britain has a more current flavor. I personally have only seen snippets of the other St Trinian's films the last being in 1980.

The story takes place with headmistress Camilla Fritton who has been headmistress of St Trinian's for the past fifteen years, most likely taking over from her aunt. The school has run out of funds and the bank is on the burst of foreclosing the school. Along the way Fritton's niece Annabelle arrives from Cheltam Ladies College. She seems to be out of place in a school which has wild ten year olds and teen girls who are in their own clicks.

This film is a blast to watch for most ages. My eight year old cousin watched this with me and enjoyed the hockey game and the scene were the chav, geek and head girl do their mission.

Words of warning. There is many current culture references and this includes drugs and sex.

In one scene, the first year girls are making vodka, the emos make esctasy pills. Miss Fritton in one scene is smoking a joint.

One of the clicks is seen in their lingere and one is talking on a phone sex chatline. Even saying that she likes it "Greek" style. While another student is seen running her finger and thumb over her lips suggesting oral sex.

My cousin was oblivious to the above.

I really enjoyed this movie and St Trinian's is the first movie to come up with the naughty school girl fantasy.

Kath & Kim (2008–2009)

It isn't as good as it was made out to be.

[2/10 · 13 October 2008]

I watched the first episode and I found it to be a very wooden performance.

I have watched the original from it's early days on Big Girls Blouse to the last series on Channel seven. Kath and Kim was a great Mocumentary and it's humor is something that most people get.

However in this American version I found it to be dull, Molly Shannon is to fashionable to be Kath Day, Kath's wardrobe is supposed to be stuck in the 80s with her frizzy perm. While Selma Blair's figure hugging clothes isn't as good as what the original Kimmy wore. I also found that Selma seemed to be puffing her belly out a lot, she is obviously a (Australian) size 12 where Kim should be (Australian) a size 16/18.

The exchanges from Molly and Selma is obviously so scripted and there is pauses where there shouldn't be pauses or the pauses are a bit long, as someone suggested there could be a laughter track in there during those pauses. It's like Molly and Shannon are not used to each other, there is no Mother/Daughter chemistry.

Phil was okay he had the eccentric air around him like Kel. However Craig was to handsome and not the sweet plain humble Brett from the Aussie version.

I found watching this was like watching a very bad stage play. The acting was pretty much wooden and the exaggeration of Selma's expressions wore the funny off after ten minutes. Especially her sulking scenes.

To sum up, I find this show to be a waste of time, the script obviously has been dumbed down for Americans which most on the board say they prefer the original. If NBC wanted to show Kath and Kim why not pay the producers the money to screen the original.

All I can add is Magda you are one smart cookie for not letting the producers use your character of Sharon.

Romanovy: Ventsenosnaya semya (2000)

A stunning master piece.

[10/10 · 12 July 2008]

This film is one of the best films concerning the last Imperial Russian family.

It shows a sympathetic look at Tsar Nicholas II as he is losing control over his empire. Which then leads to his and his family's arrest.

Unlike most movies which deal with the Russian royalty, this film leaves out the infamous Rasputin and shows more of a historic portrayal of the last few months of the Imperial family, from being arrested to being executed.

Also this film is not just dealing with Grand Duchess Anastasia, it includes all four daughters and Alexei. *spoilers* There is a hinted romance of one of the guards for Grand Duchess Olga. All actors played their roles beautifully the love between Nicky and Alix shows such a great chemistry, while the Grand Duchesses show their sisterly love for their ill brother Alexei, who seems very mature and wise near the end.

The execution scene is quick and bloody. Showing the cruelty of what happen 90 years ago.

If your looking for an acute Russian Imperial movie to show to a Modern history class I suggest Romanovy. You can watch this on youtube with subtitles.

Schindler's List (1993)

There is a book about the Surviours of Schindler's List

[10/10 · 13 November 2005]

I want to say there is a book about the Surviours of Schindler's List. I can't recall the title off my head as the book is in the library, but it is of those survivors that you see at the end (the old people with the actors) who have been interviewed and have said what their story and what they thought of the film. The scene with the women thinking they were in the gas chambers did happen. I will get the book out again so I can tell you more. It was a great read and you get to see the people such as Amon Goeth's maid, he in fact had two Jewish Maids both called Helena. Amon called one Helen and the other Lena. He did not have any romantic or sexual desire for either one. He once said he didn't fancy them as they are Jewish. The survivors are seen with their actor counterparts placing a stone respectfully on Oskar's grave.