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Office Uprising (2018)
A surprisingly good zombie comedy
If Zombieland and Shaun of the Dead had a baby, but it was adopted by Office Space - it would be this film.
Some genuinely funny jokes, well framed 'action' set pieces, and a great range of actual characters beyond the typical stereotypes you tend to see in zombie films.
All of this while gloriously bathing in the campy nature of a budget horror film.
Total Recall (2012)
A mediocre remake which offers none of the staying power of the original
It hits all the same story beats and a couple of loving nods to the original but there are far more things wrong with this film than there is right with it.
Rather than setting the conflict on Mars, it instead chose a post-nuke world where, for some reason, only the UK and Australia are habitable, connected by a train through the Earth's core (no, seriously). That means the mutants are replaced with poor people, the cool dusk-red settings replaced with bleak ruined or clean white cities, original interesting ideas replaced with stale overdone tropes.
Other than the major plot beats, nothing is endearing about this film. Not the characters, not the dialogue and not the humour. No 'start the reactor', no 'I've got five kids to feed', no 'consider it a divorce'. Instead we get endless barrage of faceless white security robots, unengaging CGI, incomprehensible fight scenes, a rushed bolted-on ending and SO MUCH LENS FLARE!
Worst of all, they cast Bill Nighy, the most British man other than Patrick Stewart, as an American leader of an underground resistance based in London. Go figure.
L'arrivée d'un train à La Ciotat (1896)
Arguably the most important film ever made
Read the title to read the review.
Not much in the way of a script but the visuals are revolutionary (although the myth of people running out of the showing still persists to this day).
Overlord (2018)
A great blend of genres (each done well) - shame about the final 30 mins
If you want to go in to watching this film without seeing the trailer, then don't read any reviews - including this one. There are no spoilers beyond what the trailer shows.
I make that opening claim because if you hadn't seen the trailer, you wouldn't know of the dual-genre nature of Overlord. The genre shift to full-blown 'zombies-but-not-quite' action comes after 75 minutes of truly brilliant wartime drama with some moderate scares. The opening scenes of the paratroopers entrance to the war-torn French countryside is a particular highlight for its chaotic, intense and disorientating depiction of what it must've been like for those who did the deed for real in WW2.
The horror element begins to build early on but is never an indication of the upcoming genre shift (if you've not seen the trailer, at least) until the point (From Dusk to Dawn style) where it's made clear that we're not in Kansas anymore. The only bummer I can think of is the film falls into the trap of a predictable final 30 minutes. With all the enjoyment had before then, it's so disappointing to feel let down at the last hurdle.
The soundtrack is immense, the cinematography is brooding without being dark (a style which works for both of the film's genres), and the CGI special effects are affectingly convincing. Don't expect great things from the script (which includes several awful one-liner comebacks), but I think this film will go down as one of the great zombie films of recent years, and may even be noted for its even better turn as a war film.
Best quote: "What is this?!" - "Our greatest achievement. With it, we create super-Nazis; a thousand year army and it's thousand year soldiers."
Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
A visual spectacle as tense as it is beautiful
'Visually stunning' is the first thing anyone will say about this film, which should be closely followed by 'incredible storytelling' and 'amazing soundtrack'.
The story left me physically aching from the tension and exhausted from the near constant twists and turns (in a good way of course). Multiple unexpected revelations and occurrences gave rise to audible gasps from the audience. The moody and neon lighting helps to accentuate the dark tones of the narrative and underline the subtext during the key moments of the script.
Everyone is given one last shot at redemption before all hell breaks out on a single fateful night at the once grand hotel. Subtext around shackling yourself and loved ones to a single way of living (a religion, a job, a mindset) is prominent throughout the film but builds to a climax in the film's phenomenal final act - tense doesn't come close to describing it.
This film deserves to be seen more than it has - I had to travel some way to go to a cinema that was showing it, and I'm so glad I did. Bad Times at the El Royale will likely make it into many lists of top films of 2018, including my own.
Best quote: "It's a game. It all starts with a simple choice. Which side are you on? Right? Wrong? God or no God? Red or black?"
Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018)
I'm sorry, but you're going to be disappointed
Just come out of watching what was billed as a horror comedy. What I saw was so little of either that even Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Michael Sheen couldn't salvage a comprehensive description of what this film is meant to be.
Expectations were always going to be high with the talent involved - a film in this genre with Pegg and Frost of course makes you think you might be about to witness a new instalment in the Cornetto trilogy - but even the performances from all involved (including Neil's dad from The Inbetweeners and a few glimpses of Margot Robbie) couldn't forge an enjoyable film.
There seems to be nothing that connects the story together. Plot threads go nowhere or end as abruptly as they were introduced. Sequences are edited to point of inducing nausea.
I'm really sorry, but I'm so disappointed by this film. My expectations weren't high going in, but it successfully limboed underneath even my lowest of expectations.
Best quote: "I don't want to die unfulfilled." - "I don't want to die a virgin." - "I don't want to die wearing Greek sandals!"
King of Thieves (2018)
A worthwhile caper but not the best of heist movies out there
The bulk of the biggest heist ever carried out on UK soul that everyone (at least in Britain) knows about is done by the hour mark. The rest of the film tackles the group politics, mistrusts and backstabbing that tore the geriatric heist crew apart. This is no bad thing as it appears to be the best part of the true story from which this film derives it's material.
Michael Caine leads the charge on a cast supercharged with British talent: Tom Courtney, Jim Broadbent, Ray Winstone, Paul Whitehorse and an underused Michale Gambon. The interaction between this rag tag group of British acting talent, transposed perfectly to the gang of criminal minds at the story's core, is electric to watch especially considering how much the actors seem to be playing characterised versions of themselves or past famous roles. Indeed, the last few scenes use archive footage of the actors' past roles (Caine in The Ipcress File, etc) to highlight their characters' criminal pasts to great effect.
It's a fine heist film that still manages to create tension despite the audience knowing full well how the story ends - however, it doesn't add a whole lot to a genre that's been overcrowded for decades. That's not to say it should be avoided; nay, it offers the best chance of us Joe Public in understanding what happened over that extremely profitable Easter Weekend.
Best quote: TBC
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
An interesting concept that's ruined by the Cloverfield name
The whole driving point of the film is the suspense of not knowing if John Goodman's character is an overly controlling doomsday nutcase or if he's right to stay inside because of an unspeakable threat outside the doors. The problem, however, is that we know he's right since this is titles as a part of the Cloverfield world - so all suspense is lost before it even really begins.
There are some great ideas in here with some genuinely tense set pieces, but when the overall premise is so flawed it's hard to hold it up to such a standard as the original Cloverfield film.
BlacKkKlansman (2018)
A film that's both a joy and very difficult to watch
Based on a true story, the first black detective at the Colorado Springs Police Department infiltrates the Ku Klux Klan with the help of a white undercover officer.
Not content with the battles portrayed on the screen between black civil rights groups and the Klan, Spike Lee has squared up against Donald Trump and the political state of America today. Throughout the film, there are not-so-subtle nods to the US President's rhetoric and how it echoes the KKK's leader David Duke: at one point he says he wants 'to make America achieve its greatness again' and chants 'America first!' during a speech.
The messages the film is trying to get across are not subtle, but it doesn't have to be when the messages have never been irrelevant. At one point, the true and horrific story of the public torture and execution of 17-year-old Jessie Washington in 1916 is told. This story is unfolding as the camera cuts back and forth to the Klan's initiation meeting which makes for a powerful scene of intense juxtaposition (Lee explained in the post-film Q&A that, ironically, this cross cutting technique was invented by the director of Birth of a Nation, an intensely racist pro-KKK 1915 film).
The final minutes are fearful to watch as Lee brings us to the present time and the last few shots (which I won't spoil here) left me with a genuine tear in my eye and an uneasy feeling in one of the most basic, primitive part of my being - fear for the minds of my fellow man and the state of the world I'm meant to be leaving to my children.
Best Quote: "America would never elect someone like David Duke as President." - "Coming from a black man, that's pretty naïve."
The Meg (2018)
A big dumb film about a big dumb shark
An underwater research crew find a previously undiscovered area of the Marianas Trench and unleash the prehistoric megalodon shark on the modern world.
This isn't a film to be taken seriously. This isn't a film to sit and analyse. This isn't a film to give any amount of time to review properly. Instead, it's to be enjoyed as the dumb monster movie without the added weight of all that nonsense Oscars-stuff like character arcs and plot it wants to be. Since this film has been in development since 1996, maybe it's feeling like my granddad and is just too damn old to care anymore.
Since this is a Chinese co-production (one of the six (no, seriously, six!) production companies is based in China), the film attempts to woo the ever-growing market - the main female character is played by the Asian film-award winning Li Bingbing and the shark goes on the climactic hunt at Sanya Bay. That's not to say it's a bad thing, but this film seemed to do it so well compared to other recent attempts to get a big Hollywood-like Chinese film industry off the ground (The Great Wall comes to mind).
If you start watching it expecting it to be (or think it wants to be) the next Jaws, Deep Blue Sea or Sharknado, you're going to be bitterly disappointed. When all is said and done, The Meg is a refreshingly unpretentious and polished B-movie offering good campy fun to those who seek that and only that.
Best Quote: "I CAN'T SWIM! I'm sorry ... my body made me say that."
True Grit (2010)
An impressive remake of a classic western
After an outlaw murders her father, a feisty 14-year-old farm girl hires a boozy trigger-happy bounty hunter to help track him down. Together with a Texas Ranger, the unlikely trio must venture into hostile territory to dispense some old fashioned Wild West justice.
John Wayne famously played Rooster Cogburn to earn his only acting Oscar in 1969 alongside Glen Campbell, Robert Duvall and Dennis Hopper. Bridges's portrayal of the US Marshall is more one of a husky and haggard old man than Wayne's simple drunk, but it's a character which suits the world built by the Coen brothers' script. I hardly think Wayne's Cogburn would've made it far in this less stylised environment without the no nonsense approach of Bridges' grouchy straight-talking one-eyed lawman.
Hailee Steinfeld (herself only 13 at the time of filming) won the role from a pool of 15,000 auditions and ultimately changed the character of Mattie from a damsel in need of protection to a capable gunslinger you'd rather have on your side in a fight. She's often smarter than many of the adversaries, a point that's proven in one of the first scenes where she barters with a horse trader using his own logic against him to get a refund.
Meanwhile, as the crude, cold-hearted and cowardly murderer Chaney, Josh Brolin plays a man who would just as easily shoot his 14-year-old pursuer as he would the tried and tested Cogburn. The scenes in which he appears are as unnerving as they are eye-drawingly unmissable since you're waiting for him to make his dastardly move.
The film isn't what you'd describe as a traditional Coen Brothers film - there's nothing eccentric or quirky about it - but therein lies its appeal, since it allowed the cinematic siblings to go all out on the artistic side of filmmaking. Nominated for ten Oscars (including Best Picture, Director, Supporting Actress, Adapted Screenplay and Cinematography), it undeservedly came away with nothing at all, but when you consider that Inception stole the technical gongs while The King's Speech cleaned up the big prizes that year you realise it was up against some stiff competition.
The film drags a little once they find Chaney and there are a few scenes towards the end which might've been better left on the cutting room floor, but it soon pays off in the final 20 minutes so you never feel like your time is wasted. Considering it's a remake (or a 'new adaptation' of the Charles Portis novel), it's one of the Coen brothers' stand out offerings - much better than their atrocious attempt at The Ladykillers! - and truly worthy of its 95% Rotten Tomatoes rating.
Best Quote: "The ground's too hard. If they wanted a decent funeral, they should have got themselves killed in summer."
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017)
A great and memorable addition to McDonagh's quirky filmography
A grieving mother hires three disused billboards to berate the local police force into action regarding the brutal murder of her daughter much to the anger of some of the townsfolk.
Martin McDonagh has done it again. Not content to leave well alone in the 'dark comedy in a serious situation' department following Seven Psychopaths and In Bruges, he's pulled together another masterpiece of this difficult genre. Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (don't worry, it took me a few attempts to remember the full name too) shows McDonagh isn't done with it yet.
The first shots in the film show the dilapidated, unused and unloved billboards in a haze of early morning mist. These establishing shots begin a trend of scenes being rarely framed poorly, or lit and filtered without careful consideration of mood. Likewise, there are scenes that linger for just the right amount of time for the audience to contemplate the consequences and next actions.
Frances McDormand's portrayal of a mother hell-bent on getting justice for her murdered daughter and the personal pain she feels every day from the fractured relationship they endured when she was alive. The Best Actress Oscar she was rightly awarded was never in doubt given the clean sweep she enjoyed all through the awards season - it's certainly well-earned for her ability to carry a script that demands both dramatic and comedic moments, often in the same scene.
Sam Rockwell earns his Oscar win for Best Supporting Actor as the dim-witted and racist cop Dixon. It would've been so easy to play him exactly as he sounds - a bumbling idiotic caricature of violent cops seen all too often on the news in recent years, but Rockwell adds layers and hidden flaws to this fractured and troubled character.
To talk about the multiple moments in which Woody Harrelson brings his embattled Chief Willoughby to vivid (and on occasion heart-breaking) life would be to reveal too much about particular moments in the film that are best left to the audience to uncover for themselves. Harrison was rightly nominated for the Best supporting Actor gong for is efforts, although Rockwell was always going to beat him to the top prize.
It's a much darker film than you might expect from the trailer: there's detailed discussions of the rape and grizzly murder of a teenage girl, incredibly violent and graphic fight scenes (mostly very one-sided), and moments of such heavy emotional weight that the person next to me in the cinema started crying. The film ranks among McDonagh's most serious work yet, but the injection of his trademark humour (a 'blink and you'll miss it' line of dialogue or a subtle piece of physical comedy courtesy of Rockwell) makes it one of his funniest.
The Disaster Artist (2017)
A funny but loving look at a man who was driven by his dreams and (in one way or another) succeeded
A loving Hollywood take on an unlikely friendship and the story of making The Room, a film so bad it's frequently referred to as 'the Citizen Kane of bad movies'.
It never feels like the team behind The Disaster Artist are bullying or mocking Tommy Wiseau, the man behind The Room and played by James Franco in this affectionate story of its creation. They come close a couple of times and it certainly doesn't paint him in a positive light overall, but it shows him to be a driven man with little talent and a big dream ... if no one will hire him to be in a film then he'll make his own.
James Franco transforms himself convincingly and lovingly into Wiseau - he nails the laugh and the way Tommy would brush his long hair out of his eyes - while his brother Dave Franco plays co-star and close friend Greg Sistero (who wrote the book of the same name on which The Disaster Artist is based, so the specifics of each scene should be taken with more than just a pinch of salt). Seth Rogen has a secondary role as the original script supervisor (and later the unofficial de-facto director) while other familiar faces such as Sharon Stone, Zac Efron and Bryan Cranston all make brief cameo appearances.
All the key scenes are referenced ("Cheep cheep cheep!", "I definitely have breast cancer" and the anatomically inaccurate sex scene(s) to name a few) if not in the film itself then in the side-by-side comparisons between the 'remake' and the original classic before the end credits roll. Speaking of the credits, this is one film where it's actually worth sticking around to see the post-credits scene in which the real Tommy Wiseau has a strange conversation with Franco's incarnation.
It certainly helps to have seen the 'source material' to fully appreciate some scenes but even if you haven't, the jokes and observations made about the resulting film are echoed on the set as they would've been by the audience watching the film for the first time. The Disaster Artist could so easily have been scene after scene of remaking and mocking the original's ineptitude but instead it's a loving tribute to the drive of one man to do anything in his power to follow his dream and become a star.
Stronger (2017)
A powerful depiction but lacking in real drive
The true story of Jeff Bauman, who lost his legs in the Boston Marathon bombing in 2013 and his very public struggle to get on with his life as the face of 'Boston Strong'.
Based on the book written by the man himself, Jeff Bauman, Stronger sees Jake Gyllenhaal vie for awards glory in a film that is unlike any other inspirational real-life drama for three key reasons. For one, the two leads put in incredible performances (nay, Oscar-worthy - I personally would've given the nod to Gyllenhaal over Denzel Washington) and have genuine chemistry. Secondly, the focus is on the concept of being a hero rather than his/her upward journey. And finally, the film understands the journey from a trauma through its repercussions that makes a hero is rarely as inspirational to the people who endured it.
There are some great scenes dotted throughout the 2-hour runtime which are less apologetic about Jeff's struggle to adapt. These include a lengthy sequence with Gyllenhaal's brilliant co-star Tatiana Maslany in which his bandages are first changed in the hospital and he looks into his on/off girlfriend Erin's eyes rather than focus on the agonising pain. There is a shorter scene which depicts his first attempt to use the bathroom alone is the cramped 2-bed flat he shares with his mother (brilliantly played by Miranda Richardson), and the entire emotional weight comes crashing down as he realises how his focus on himself as the victim ultimately alienates Erin.
The stand-out moment which seems to have been largely forgotten is upon leaving the hospital after his double amputation, Jeff gives a thumbs up to the waiting crowd of journalists and photographers but it's clear his gesture is empty - he feels he must be upbeat despite the great tragedy that has befallen him and his family. The film continues this theme and pokes constant fun at the public need for a personal image to symbolise strength in the face of adversity, even if they want nothing to do with it.
Stronger didn't perform well at the box office ($8m back from a $30m investment) but it wasn't only made to be profitable. It's surely no coincidence that the film is co-produced by Gyllenhaal himself meaning, while it's a good adaptation of a story worth telling in its own right, it'll be remembered as a failed Oscar vehicle for the man nominated only for Supporting Actor (Brokeback Mountain). Which is a shame.
Best Quote: "I'm a hero for just standing there and getting my legs blown off?"
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017)
A mediocre addition to the saga but still an important one
The eighth instalment in the genre-busting sci-fi saga sees characters new and old come to terms with big reveals and lacklustre revelations.
It's so secret by now to hear that Star Wars: The Last Jedi has divided opinion between critics and fans, and even among the fans themselves. Some see it as the best of the 40-year-old franchise while others have signed a petition to halt production of upcoming films and have it remade 'properly'. It's a good film overall and it takes the Star Wars series into a whole new direction, but it certainly has its faults which mean it isn't as good as The Force Awakens (and miles behind Rogue One).
The points which made it better than the prequels include mesmerising fight scenes (either en mass space battles or one-on-one lightsabre duels), stunning new worlds to explore and amazing character progression unseen in a Star Wars film since The Empire Strikes Back. Laura Dern makes an appearance in a role which is all too small to fill for her twice Oscar-nominated boots but she does create the single best scene ever about a cruiser ship travelling at light speed. If you've seen it, you'll understand.
The negatives, sadly, come thick and fast. It was too long by 20-30 minutes, the story was broken into three very clear 'do x before the time runs out or we all die' stories stitched together, and some key revelations (speculated by fans after The Force Awakens) are brushed over with the lazy stroke of a writer's pen, but the biggest problem (personally) is the comedic tone running through the whole film. It's not that jokes don't belong in Star Wars (see "Boring conversation anyway!" or "Let the Wookiee win!") but in The Last Jedi it falls somewhere between slapstick and the tired format of set-up/punchline routines in American sitcoms. Half the people watching in the midnight premier screening I attended thought the first half hour was a joke or an advert for EE, expecting to see Kevin Bacon climb out of C-3PO when Poe Dameron and General Hux have their failed initial radio chat.
In all it's worth seeing since it will undoubtedly play a massive part in the saga when J. J. Abrams takes the reigns back for Episode IX, but don't expect it to be the same Star Wars you remember when you start watching by the time you finish. It won't be.
Best Quote: "No. Strike me down in anger and I'll always be with you. Just like your father."
The Party (2017)
A joyful arrangement of wicked revelations and snappy dialogue
A meticulously planned drinks reception to celebrate a governmental promotion of one of the guests goes up in smoke as long-held secrets between the group of friends come out.
It all starts innocently enough - after the first shots of a broken Janet (Thomas) pointing a gun at the camera - with vol-au-vents in the oven. The titular party is meant to celebrate her rise to be the Government minister for an unnamed political opposition, but her husband Bill (Spall) doesn't seem to be himself as he sits in the living room nursing a glass of red wine. As more guests arrive to join the festivities, long kept secrets begin to tumble into the light culminating in an ending that will leave you laughing over the end credits.
And that's what surprised me the most; it's a comedy, I was expecting that, but I wasn't expecting it to be as funny as it was knowing it's also an ultimately tragic story. The stinging one-liners and friendly barbs coming from her guests (who happen to work for her rival, politically speaking) hide the bile and baggage they have each brought to this once-jovial event. Even the host has secrets of her own which she keeps well-hidden (at least from her guests) until the gut-busting closing scenes.
The whole film takes place in a house and its tiny patio garden, meaning the audience feel as trapped in the goldfish bowl of upper-middle class pomp as the guests do by the time the third or fourth revelation is revealed. Throughout the hour-long ordeal (for it is only 71 minutes including credits) Bill is constantly fidgeting with his record player, swapping a jazz LP for a bluesy vinyl, thereby giving the soundtrack to the film as the drama unfolds on screen in real time.
The Party is a film which some will like and some will loath, depending on whether you can sit through a 'talky piece' and pick out the wittiness. The cast is superb, the comedy is handled well among the dramatic moments, and the entire film culminates at the end to leave the audience reeling from the final reveal ... with a gasp and a laugh.
Best Quote: "Tickle an aromatherapist and you find a fascist."
All the Money in the World (2017)
A miracle it was made at all
When 16-year-old John Getty III is kidnapped, his devoted mother attempts to get the ransom money from his billionaire grandfather - but he refuses to offer a dime.
In 1973, oil tycoon John Paul Getty's 16-year-old grandson is kidnapped in Rome by a group of masked men and held to ransom for $17m. Throughout the film, reference is made to Getty's intense frugality; he washed his own underwear in a 5* hotel bathroom to save the $10 laundry service fee, he installed pay phone in his mansion for guests to use, he negotiated his own grandsons ransom to make it tax-deductible. He once quipped to reporters during the crisis that he refused to honour the initial demand (his equivalent to sofa change) since it would encourage the kidnap of his other grandchildren. It sounds ridiculous, but it really happened.
The film plods along at a steady pace but is only interesting when Getty Sr is the focus of attention. If the role remained Spacey's, you'd always suspect he was up to something - that's just the type of character Spacey has become known for since the likes of Se7en, Usual Suspects and House of Cards - but Christopher Plummer trusted demeanour means his selfish intentions come as a constant surprises. Michelle Williams is phenomenal as a tested mother at her wits end, fighting against the reluctance and condescending indifference of most of the men in the story - the irony that her pay was a tiny fraction of Wahlberg's fee should not be lost.
The only real problem is the ending - it's a mess of tired clichés, an unnecessarily tacked-on chase scene and a final 'twist' that obviously didn't happen in real life. It smacks of a last-ditch attempt to add quick-paced action where it simply doesn't fit.
This film will be remembered for the miracle of its release - the fact it got finished at all following the career-ending allegations against Kevin Spacey and subsequent reshoots with Plummer just four weeks before its premier is a true testament to modern filmmaking and Sir Ridley's resolve in the face of immense adversity. It's hard to believe that Getty himself would've have been so open to the effort and expense.
Best Quote: "It's been reported that you're the first man in history with a fortune in excess of a billion dollars." "I have no idea, but, if you can count your money you're not a billionaire."
Dunkirk (2017)
An enormous spectacle that highlights the desperation of the real-life event
Three intertwined stories (on land, at sea and in the air) over different time frames are stitched together to form a single overarching tale of instinctive survival.
Christopher Nolan indulges his inner Michael Bay for Dunkirk ... well, maybe a bit more restrained than that I guess, but ships sink, airplanes crash and there's more than a few explosions. It's more of an action film than most of his previous work, but his still manages to linger on the personal elements of what would have gone on during Operation Dynamo as comrades, family and friends (on both sides of the Channel) fight for the survival of not just the men on the beach, but of Western Europe.
There's no real lead actor to pinpoint, instead the film jumps back and forth between three stories set over the same fortnight. The action on the beach (on which most the film focuses) takes place over two weeks, the parts on one particular boat (captained by Mark Rylance) is set over two days, and the scenes from Tom Hardy's spitfire cockpit are over the course of a couple of hours. In typical Nolan style, they're stitched together masterfully and it's never confusing to have to jump from one time frame to another - think Memento but without the headache afterwards!
Nolan earned his first Best Director Oscar nomination but as much as it pains to say it, I never thought we would see him finally lift a gold statuette. From its eight nominations, it managed only three in the technical categories and Hans Zimmer's amazing score couldn't compete against Alexandre Desplat's music for The Shape of Water.
Even the inclusion of Harry Styles in a prominent speaking role couldn't hamper the drama or detract from the very serious (and very real) scenario the film drew its inspiration. The only real gripe is that there's a noticeable lack of French characters (and therefore actors) on a French beach, especially when you consider how many French troops must have died fighting off the fast-advancing Nazi army in order to give the British Navy and Air Force enough time to evacuate all 340,000 people.
Best Quote: "Men my age dictate this war. Why should we be allowed to send our children to fight it?"
The Shape of Water (2017)
A classic story with olden-days villains that draws parallels with today's troubles
A mute cleaner in a secret US government Cold War bunker falls in love with a captured sea creature and works with her outcast friends to help him escape.
There's only one to describe The Shape of Water - it's part love story, part fantasy tale, part spy drama and part heist movie. It's also an artsy film with plenty of little details for those who like to look for subtext ... The idea for the film came when director Guillermo del Toro was asked to write a film based on the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but opted for a story where the creature and the woman he kidnaps fall in love. The studio refused the idea and so it lay dormant, until now - bet they wish they went with it now!
At the start, you hate Michael Shannon's Strickland because you're not given a choice; he's sexist, racist and doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. By the end, you still hate him because he hasn't changed. And that might be the film's biggest failing, the 'villain' is given nothing to do besides be the guy who interrogates the creature and berates the main characters as he investigates its disappearance. Shannon is a great (but still grossly underrated) actor so it's a shame that he wasn't given more reign to develop a more interesting character.
In short, it's a simple tale told complexly - some will find this an annoying trope of a director who looks for the unusual in all his work, while others will appreciate the multiple levels of subtext in every frame and every line of dialogue.
Best Quote: "He doesn't know what I lack, or how I am incomplete. He's happy to see me, every time, every day. Now, I can save him ... or let him die."
Rampage (2018)
A riot of ridiculousness but big beasts brilliantly bashing buildings is worth the nonsense
A gorilla, a wolf and a crocodile are subjected to strange chemicals make them grow rapidly and tear through Chicago while Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson saves the day.
Based on the 1986 arcade game of the same name, Rampage features a huge beast causing havoc on the streets of Chicago ... and alongside Dwayne Johnson are three mutated creatures tearing the place apart too! They're each the result of a chemical company's experiment in space that went awry, sending capsules containing a deadly pathogen crashing across the good ol' US of A. Cue massive CGI damage and scenes of structural destruction as the monsters go on their titular rampage and fight off the military trying to evacuate Chicago (in the 90s it was always New York that took a beating but now it seems to always be Chicago, doesn't it?).
The plot is as loose, woolly and clichéd as they come - a corporation of morally bankrupt suits want to get their hands on the weaponised DNA-altering gas while the good guys want to apply the antidote. Dwayne Johnson does his thing playing the everyman (who just happens to be built like a brick privy) who is thrust into the most ridiculous scenarios and always comes out alive. Jeffrey Dean Morgan (best known for playing the baseball bat wielding super-villain Negan in The Walking Dead) is also worthy of note as a US Government official who at first is resistant to our heroes but soon offers them assistance to defeat the creatures. He essentially plays the character as Negan (complete with the unique way he emphasises some words in a sentence) but if he was a cheekily likeable good guy and it's absolutely brilliant to watch.
A direct comparison can easily be made between Rampage and the far inferior Pacific Rim: Uprising. Both came out within a month of each other, both feature big beasts bashing buildings and both include humans caught in the crossfire. However, where Pacific Rim failed to present any fun in its mind-numbing destructo-physics, Rampage nails what this film is meant to be: big, loud and dumb, never over-complicated (which Pacific Rim definitely was!) and gets to the big-bucks action within 40 minutes where PR:U took most of the film. It's the perfect 1990s summer blockbuster for a braindead audience (I liked it at least!) and the best video-game-to-movie adaptation to date.
Best Quote: *The Rock while choking out an army guard having already explained exactly what he was going to do* "Shhhh, shhhh, shhhh. It's a big arm - don't fight it."
Ghost Stories (2017)
A good adaptation of the stage play even if it has its flaws
A professional debunker of psychics, mystics and all things paranormal is tasked to find explanations for three ghostly tales, only to have his beliefs and sanity tested.
As a professor (played by writer/ director Andy Nyman who also played the same role in the original stage play of the same name) listens to three ghostly tales he has been tasked to debunk for an dying colleague, what he hears begins to play on his mind more heavily the more he listens. The three stories are each told by the people who experienced them: a night watchman (Paul Whitehouse), a teen driver (Alex Lawther) and a successful businessman expecting his first child (Martin Freeman). As the stories are told, a common theme begins to emerge of a devil, a doll and a strange figure in a hooded padded jacket. Each account can be easily explained away in one way or another but it's what begins to happen to the professor outside these stories that presents the greater challenge. Maybe, he begins to think, ghosts are real?
A lot of this film is clichéd and stale by today's standards - long and slow scenes of a derelict loony-bin corridor lit only by a single torch through the dust and then a jump scare - but there are some moments which make this a stand-out example of British horror. Yes, the scares are sometimes predictable but still startle and there are moments that cause genuine discomfort even long after the initial scare is over (the ghostly finale of Freeman's story is one such example). There are also brief moments of sometimes bizarre comedic relief which certainly highlight the film's 'Britishness'.
The ending rapidly hurries up to you (and the professor), throwing in new things about his past and beliefs to take on board with barely anything left in the runtime to use them effectively. It's one of those in which the twist would be fine if we'd at least had some clues it was coming or some pieces to put together ourselves so it didn't seem so completely out of the blue when it's piled on you with minutes to go. That's not to say the ending isn't good or satisfying, it just might be frustrating for some who thought they had it worked out (repeated images in the stories lead you to a possible twist conclusion) only to have the rug pulled out from under them and shown something entirely different which was set up in the final 10 minutes. It's certainly worth a watch, and with a repeat viewing I think I'll even appreciate the ending.
Best Quote: "Do you believe in evil, Professor? I didn't, until that night."
A Quiet Place (2018)
An interesting premise but why let Michael Bay get involved?!
A family of survivors of an unknown catastrophe must avoid detection from fast, aggressive and hostile creatures who hunt those still alive based on sound.
As with many horror films, you tend to know the scares. They announce themselves with long drawn-out scenes of silence in creepy environments only to have the hero open a creaky door and come face to face with the ghost/ monster/ whatever and we all get jump-scared by a screenwriter who's run out of ideas. Not so with A Quiet Place, since the entire film is the tense silent build up (most of the dialogue is done in sign language with only one or two scenes featuring a spoken word) and the pay offs come in the relief-giving form of their continued safety in the face of a violent death.
A point definitely worth noting is that Millicent Simmonds, who plays the eldest child who is also profoundly deaf, is actually deaf in real life. Krasinski has said in interviews he sought a deaf actress for the role to help his knowledge of the situations in the film and how sound can affect them. There are brilliant moments as the scene switches perspective between characters and hers is totally devoid of all sound - no birds singing, to water running, no leaves rustling - which puts her in considerable danger at times when the creatures are on the hunt. We feel her unease thanks to the viewer experience outside the film - of sitting in a packed cinema which is in total silence, the people sat behind me barely getting through three kernels of popcorn for fear of making any kind of sound. It was an eerie experience that defies explanation.
The only fly in the ointment is that Michael Bay produced this. No ... seriously. The man who brought you such explosions as Armageddon, Bad Boys and the Transformers debacle also helped bring this uniquely intriguing (and decidedly unfirebally) spectacle to the masses. The only suspicion that he had a hand in it comes with the final 15 seconds of the film (if you've seen it, you know exactly what I'm talking about). It comes out of nowhere and almost entirely changes the tone of the film to suit the ridiculous sequel I'm sure is coming (given how it left off, maybe even directed by Bay himself?). I can only hope they see sense and, if they are to do one, keep the sequel in the same vein as this brilliantly original idea and simply build upon what they've already established and expand the interesting world they've created.
Best Quote: "Who are we if we can't protect them? We have to protect them."
Isle of Dogs (2018)
A heartwarming tale (tail?) but the cutesy Anderson style can't do much with trash
A 12-year-old Japanese boy, with the assistance of a small group from the local canine population, journeys across a barren landscape in search of his beloved dog, Spots.
A helpful opening title card explains that the Japanese characters in Isle of Dogs speak Japanese (mostly) untranslated, while the dogs' barks have been generously translated into English. The film keeps its promise - the only time a Japanese character's dialogue is spoken in English is when they're on TV with a translator - which means that some parts go over our heads as they do the dogs' (since an Alsatian can't understand Japanese either), but never enough that the audience is alienated or lose track of what's going on. Sadly, there's little to the story - travel here, get some advice, travel there - but the way the script reveals the pasts of the dogs, the 'little pilot' named Atari and the island means there's always something going on to keep your attention, although people who don't like slower films will be fighting off their heavy eyelids (at 102 minutes, this is the second longest stop-motion film ever made).
The animation, as you would expect from Wes Anderson, is charming and endearing to the eye much like his last venture into Ray Harryhausen's domain, Fantastic Mr. Fox. However this isn't an especially pretty film; the harsh landscape of an island made almost exclusively from refuse isn't one that lends kindly to Anderson's trademark cutesy style and perfectly centred simplistic shots, though he certainly tries. Instead the charm comes from the doubtless talents of the animators in giving the dogs individual and collective personalities, while the cast of voice actors aids their efforts.
The biggest disappointment (not that there are any others worth mentioning) is that the ending is one of those that just happens because 'reasons'; it washes over you and the entire status quo is flipped on its head without being entirely sure why. Isle of Dogs leaves you with lasting messages of the dangers of misinformation, the perils of unflinching obedience to authority, and that man's best friends are bloody awesome - after all, the title itself when spoken makes the person admit their love of dogs!
Best Quote: (in Bill Murray's voice) "I was the lead mascot for an undefeated high school baseball team. I lost all my spirit ... I'm depressing."
Unsane (2018)
A claustrophobic and stressful experience, but amazing all the same
A woman is involuntarily sent to a hostile psychiatric ward after admitting suicidal thoughts over a lengthy stalking ordeal, only to (maybe?) see him in the hospital.
The unique selling point of Unsane, widely known by those who've at least heard of it, is that it was entirely shot on an iPhone. Directed by Steven Soderbergh (of Erin Brockovich, Ocean's 11/ 12 & 13, Magic Mike and Logan Lucky fame), Unsane was brought to theatres for a paltry $1.2m budget and makes an impact with every buck.
It follows the trials of an innocent women (played brilliantly by Claire Foy, the best thing in a great film) held against her will in a psychological ward after admitting suicidal thoughts following a prolonged stalking incident, only to find that her creepy admirer may (or may not) have got himself a job in the hospital to be with her. Her ordeal escalates as she tries to convince the nurses and senior hospital staff that she's not safe only to be constantly ignored or disproven with bureaucracy and paperwork. It's infuriating and the most stressed I've been in a cinema in years, but it's brilliant.
The slow, haunting and unnerving music is reminiscent of The Shining, and the setting - a series of small clinical rooms along a series of long, narrow and repetitive corridors - stifles and disorientates the audience. Meanwhile, the camera's tight aspect ratio and muted colour scheme enhances the claustrophobia. All of this, alongside the frustrating bonds of signatures and consent forms (as well as her often-applied physical manacles) lays the building blocks of a tense thriller which kind of loses its way in the final 15 minutes before bringing it back for a satisfying ending.
It speaks greatly and powerfully to the abuse of authority and trust among strangers, the unaccountability of big business and the real-life dangers of gaslighting - an underhanded form of mental abuse in which someone is psychologically manipulated into doubting their own beliefs, memory or sanity. If, like me, you get triggered by stories of false imprisonment, then by watching Unsane you're in real danger of giving yourself an aneurism ... but you'll still get a thrill out of it all the same.
Best Quote: "Your life slips away from you, you know? Changing your phone number and your email becomes normal. Taking out a restraining order, normal. Relocating to another city, normal."
Ready Player One (2018)
A feast the eyes and a story straight out of the Spielberg playbook
Keys hidden in a VR game world unlock the fortune of the inventor of the OASIS and control over it, so a group of kids must stop a shady Corporation getting the prize.
Like ET crossed with Willy Wonka, Ready Player One is Spielberg back to classic Spielberg - the kids are fighting off the big bad business boss while trying to win the grand prize of a tech giant's fortune and control of the OASIS, a virtual reality world used by most of the planet's population to escape the horrors of their everyday lives. The tech giant in question is the socially awkward but big dreaming James Halliday expertly played by Mark Rylance in a Brian May wig (originally Spielberg wanted Gene Wilder to play the role before his untimely death in 2016) who lived pop culture references and so made all the challenges (all different to the ones in the 2011 book by Ernest Cline) based around his obsession with 1970s & 80s pop culture.
Characters including the Iron Giant, Harley Quinn, MechaGozilla, Chucky, Lara Croft and King Kong all make an appearance alongside references from games like Overwatch, Pitfall, Mortal Kombat, Joust, Street Fighter II, Bioshock, Battle Toads and Mass Effect and more than enough film nods like Back to the Future, Alien, Saturday Night Fever, Robocop, Monty Python & the Holy Grail, Jurassic Park, Beetlejuice, Terminator 2, Mad Max and Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. The amazing thing is that the constant search for these on-screen glimpses doesn't distract at all from the story and, in typical Spielberg fashion, the action and narrative are married perfectly with one never overshadowing the other.
There are a vast number of audience-made lists out there on forums documenting as many references as they can and there always seems to be one they've missed. It never ends. From the big ones (like an entire sequence set in a particular film which was completely missing from the trailer, so you'll get no spoilers here) to the little ones (like a briefly-mentioned artefact that turns time back by 60 seconds called the Zemeckis Cube, so named after the Back to the Future director), they flash by for you to either catch and enjoy or miss and never know that that was Freddy Krueger being punched in the balls by Duke Nukem.
Best Quote: "I mean ... it's nothing less than a war for control of the future."