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Reviews
X-Rated: NYC (2022)
Even worse than the usual made up "drama" with zero value
One season equals an episode in usual shows. I mean it. 18 minutes, of which 2-3 minutes recap, then showing pieces from previous show again, then made up "drama" which is so fake that nobody could find it entertaining or real, and then end credits etc.
That's 10 minutes of content. Six episodes. That's about an hour of "content."
Nobody cares of these people nor the two days of "life" this show shows. It's just a publicity stunt for the specific company, nothing more.
So if you want to know what happens: people scream. Make up. Scream again. Hate each other. Move to another city so there can be a spinoff. Scream again. Pretend to work. Scream more. End of season.
Glamorous (2023)
Carbon copy of so many others
Someone clearly went with "hey, let's take the most generic 'rags to riches' and 'Prince Charming saves the girl' stories and add a gay/non-binary twist to it and get Kim Cattrall into it, people will surely love it!"
And then someone went "great idea, here's some money."
It's exactly that. Non-realistic story with every single person being unlikable. Sure, people are complex and not all sides are nice and pretty but when not a single person in the whole show is likable then it goes a bit far.
The main character is a typical wannabe "tuber" who doesn't want to do a boring job and whose whole life is about looks and makeup (the believable part) who then gets swept up by a makeup *illionaire who hasn't had a single new thing come up in years (the unbelievable part).
Then there's the usual backstabbings, running into a hunky man, being "so awks", playing games, showing off pumps, business deals going awry, self esteem and self belief issues... you name it, it's in there. And it's all entirely surface level boring stuff.
If only people could do original things. Was this done during writers' strike and they just copy pasted stuff together to fill the void? Needed Yet Another Queer Show? This isn't what "representation" is.
The Great American Joke Off (2023)
Not a single joke was found
For a show trying to be about jokes it had none. The contestants even clearly prepared for this and read things from their papers. Still nothing funny.
Sure, jokes and comedy are subjective, but... this really isn't it. The contestants just say random things we've heard million times already, or which are not funny in any way.
"Hey I'm going to just talk about antivaxxers here and the audience will laugh so I look funny."
"Hey I'm just going to talk about my genitalia and the host will drool over me."
"I'll talk about stuff that five-year-olds laugh."
If that's your type of stuff, go for it. I prefer actual comedy. None of us found anything funny in the show.
Ancient Apocalypse (2022)
Where's the proof?
The whole show can be wrapped to this: "mainstream archeology doesn't believe me when I say there was an ancient civilization. I won't show any proof but mainstream archeology doesn't believe me. Mainstream archeology is all against me. Mainstream mainstream mainstream. No proof but mainstream and I'm right."
I thought he would actually show some proof or even theories, but he just goes around the world and "asks questions" with no explanations. And of course goes into "maybe some ancient civilization taught all these people to do things."
There may have been an ancient civilization, but a single person just blaming "mainstream archeology" for not believing them isn't going to get anyone to believe him either.
The Villains of Valley View (2022)
Yet another carbon copy show
From the first sound and first sentence it's a carbon copy of every other show. Same "jokes", same way of speaking, same stuff. Don't waste your time, no matter what.
Put a Ring on It (2020)
Oprah Toxic Network presents...
Time to find people with toxic habits, who want to own their partners, have medieval notions of what relationships are, and whatnot. Yes, exaggeration a bit, but not much.
Then let's send them on dates with others. See what happens. How they're insecure and hostile and everyone gets drama. Nobody is actually counseled (on screen), everything feels so fake, but maybe this is reality in the highly separated USian society?
In the real world it shouldn't be a problem having your partner "date" someone else. I mean, go bowling? Throwing axes? So what? If that's going to break you up then you already have issues. They're not going out on hot dates with sleepovers.
If it was done in the way of "it's not ok to be possessive, you should do this to get over it" or whatever else that's actually helpful to viewers and participants it would be different. But now it's just drama and "OMG dating others?!?"
Marry Me Now (2022)
Yet another toxic OWN thing
Let's make people force their partners into marriage without them having any say where, when, who is there with them etc. What could go wrong?
And if the person says they'd like their loved ones to be there, or they feel rushed, or anything, then let's just tell the bride how it's not their fault, the groom isn't worth it, it's not good for them etc.
This is toxic. If you don't know your partner will want to basically elope then don't do this. But people in this show will say it's ok to do it and it's their fault if they don't want to do it this way.
Shock Docs: Scream: The True Story (2022)
Scream: The Fakest Story
It's the usual fake stuff, so fake that it makes you laugh until you cry of frustration. Didn't expect anything more, but maybe something a bit more entertaining.
It's the usual: we won't script anything and you'll sit there in sensory deprivation saying what you feel while wearing airpods and like totally don't hear me at all and we won't edit this or preplan.
We surely have equipment that says things from beyond the grave and we'll even have demonologist to fix everything afterwards so the poor people living here can get some peace.
There's no story here, don't waste your time. If you've seen these charlatans doing their thing you know how it goes. And these don't even make it entertaining.
4400 (2021)
Many say it's "too woke"...
...and I kind of agree. Synopsis talks about 4400 overlooked and blah blah. So, one main character is a lawyer, another is doing a reality show, this and that. How are they somehow in a bad place? Oh, right, this is about USA and skin color: nobody is white, and almost everyone is black. That's the main story.
They mention people were taken "from all over the world", yet they only focus on a handful of black people from USA. They try so hard to make everything about skin color. It alienates people who aren't all into USian politics. It detracts from the story.
And the story... I'm in episode 10 now. There's not much of a story. It's all overshadowed by other things. This isn't scifi, this is just narrative of one country's societal issues based on skin color. If in 10 episodes you haven't gotten anywhere in the actual plot, the one that's supposed to be the story, I don't think it's going anywhere.
If this gets a second season I hope they actually take off their skin color glasses and actually think which show they're doing: scifi story, or societal commentary. You clearly aren't capable of doing both.
Cryptopia: Bitcoin, Blockchains and the Future of the Internet (2020)
Lot of talk, but no substance
There's a lot of babble but very little substance. It doesn't make things simple enough for the laypeople and for anyone knowing anything it's entirely nonsensical at times. Random things said but not explained or questioned.
For example, one company describes their product as "an operating system on top of Etherium." That's it. He didn't ask what that means, just put it out there. Was the point to make it seem entirely ridiculous?
He went to see a vault that has servers and data. No explanation what and why. "The key is split into five locations." Ok, what key? What is it used for? How do they use it when they need to? Nothing is explained.
There's at least some points where they show how much was promised and how nothing was delivered by the crypto fanatics, but in the end it doesn't really say anything. Much better ways to waste time.
Dark Side of the '90s (2021)
It's the 90s IN THE USA
The show is, as can be expected, only about the USA. Not about the 90s, more about USA. It shows things from there and there are interesting parts, but they could've titled it correctly or had an actual larger view of the world. Most of us can't relate to anything they show since, gladly, we didn't live among mass shootings and forced "us vs them" that is the norm even today there.
Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)
If you're not USian, it's probably not for you
They say that USians make everything about race, gender, sexuality, etc. This definitely is true for this... production. It's not comedy, there's nothing funny about it. It's low effort attempt to suck up to people who separate people into boxes. There's constant mentions of skin color, sex, gender, how USian capitalism is bad so the whole world must be, and whatnot. Generalizations galore.
So basically being edgy and emo for the millennials that have been failed by their education and are repeating soundbites that don't help anyone but make them seem like they understand how the world works.
If you live outside USA you probably don't understand what he's trying to say or why this would be funny, or moving, or anything else than boring.
RuPaul's Drag Race Down Under (2021)
Please, RuPaul, stop being greedy and let others handle it
If this was "Australia's Top Drag" I would give it 8. The queens are talented. They could probably show their talent. But since it's RuPaul, it's a 4.
He doesn't care. It's obvious. The top 3 is chosen before the show starts, like in other spin-offs usually. There's nothing the others can do. There can be "this is the best you've done so far" followed immediately by "you're up for elimination." There can be "this was definitely worst you've done" and it gets "you're safe" because they chose them to the top three.
He just barely is there, fake laughing and pretending to be nice. It doesn't work.
If he let it go, like Thailand, it might be good. But greedy is as greedy does.
Ellen's Next Great Designer (2021)
Not worth it, another Ellen cash grab
Ellen is just in the title. She's shown basically maybe ten minutes in the show. She's not a part of it, she lets Scott handle everything.
The judges don't seem to be that great and they have an agenda on who to keep there. In one episode everyone else builds their design, one gets 90% of it manufactured by someone else and they are applauded for it. Sure, it's not the worst thing I've seen, and this is supposedly a design competition, but still.
It's clearly just an Ellen cash grab, slap their name on something, have them show up in a couple of episodes, find people who get starstruck by Ellen and Scott regardless of their talent (most of them are talented, don't get me wrong), and you have a show. Focus on one of them whining about things, blaming their helper for breaking stuff, and then going "but he's so haaawt!"
So don't waste your time with it. It's bad. Just look up the designs and you get all you need from this show.
12 Dates of Christmas (2020)
Show is spoiled by the host
The show would get a much better rating if the host went away. There's no need for them. No need to say some corny, laughable, insensitive things when there's someone hurt on screen. No need to make it all about you. You don't matter. You're not a character in the show.
This was supposed to be about finding love, but obviously I misunderstood and it was about the host.
So, please, if this is ever getting any continuation just get rid of the host. We don't need any. We can see what's happening and we don't need someone saying pointless things all the time.
The Last Ship (2014)
Full of patriotism and silly tropes
Note: I have only watched the first season, if I continue I will possibly edit the review.
The show is full of tropes and USian patriotism. Yes, it takes place on a military ship, but that's their choice for the show. And it shows. Everything is "USA is the best woohaa! We will save the world woohaa!"
Then there's the scientist. A typical trope. A woman, no friends, no family, all science, strict, this and that. We've seen it too many times. Nothing original. Nothing interesting. Just there to cause issues between strict chain of command military stuff and scientist.
Then there's issues between Russia and USA. The usual.
There's nothing original in the first season and nothing worth watching. You can skip whole episodes since they do nothing except push the "we military woohaa!" stuff on you. They don't advance the plot, they don't bring anything to the table.
So no, first season is not a good pandemic show.
2067 (2020)
Pretty solid movie without "country X saves everyone" motifs
It's a pretty solid story. There's no huge twists or turns, it just tells itself. There's some sci-fi paradoxy stuff, but nothing too big.
The best part: since it's Australian there's no need for "we the best ever so we will save everyone hooraa!" stuff. And it's much better because of it.
Just one person's journey and choice in a dying world.
Life Below Zero (2013)
Possibly interesting, but so badly edited
The show continuously spends time showing maps and distances. It keeps showing people saying things they've said over and over. It keeps showing same scenes over and over from previous seasons.
One would think they'd have enough material for a season if they push them out two per year(?), but clearly not. There's Sue pouring bleach on buildings, a scene we saw one or two seasons before. There's a guy putting poles into the ground for dogs, for the third time. All the time recycling the exact scenes they've already shown.
So you'll never know what year anything was filmed, if they have any relation to the next scene etc.
And we know where they are. We don't care about exact locations every single time. If we are watching this and it's seventh episode of the season, not to mention the 11th season, we might already know where they are.
So just show new content. Show the map as a small thing in the corner. And don't show the same silly babbles every time.
Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020)
It tries hard but falls flat
I was interested in seeing where they take the show. Animated Star Trek, with comedy? Could go far. But unfortunately it didn't take off. Unless the last episode of the season somehow changes course.
The characters are one-dimensional. There's the rebel. There's the rule-follower. There's the over-enthusiastic geek. They're exactly that, there's no depth, no character development, no surprises. Flat.
The stories try to be Star Trekky, but they aren't really. They have enough of it to hold it slightly together, and then they shove "comedy" and "funny" into it while removing any aspect of smart or intelligence from it. There's no hidden things. There's no smart undertones. Nothing. It's just "lols" for the lowest common denominator.
Doesn't help that it looks exactly like Final Space in its style.
If you're a die-hard Trekkie, this probably isn't for you.
Vaxxed II: The People's Truth (2019)
No truth can be found here
The usual "these are real stories", "these people have nothing to gain from this" etc nonsense.
They're in a cult. They want there to be a conspiracy.
Are there adverse effects to vaccines? Yes. They're listed on the labels. No, not all of them are real. They're self-reported and not verified. Some people get problems. Should we still stop helping millions with them?
Do you think if there were millions harmed by the common vaccines we wouldn't hear about it? Do you think CDC controls the whole world?
Yep. Think. And don't watch this.
Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe (2016)
Calling this a documentary is wrong
This isn't a documentary. It's an attempt by a discredited charlatan to make people think there's conspiracies and whatnot about.
Don't bother. Or at least don't believe anything they say.
Legendary (2020)
Sloppy and shoddy, this isn't what they promised
The show has talented dancers in it. But that's where it ends. They're not really given chance to properly show it. They focus more on the judges to promote them, the MC saying random words, everything else than the actual talent.
And what is shown doesn't seem that talented. I expected a lot more. It seems they just throw tantrums on the floor and try to suck up to the judges instead of shoving what they surely can do. Let's just play dress up and do tantrums because that's what it is. Nah, that's not vogue.
And then let's show more judges and make them kings and queens and let them be arbitrary. I know it's always been arbitrary, but if you make it into a show at least provide some rational feedback instead of obvious "they looked at me a bit wrong so I don't like it."
Not to mention we have to have one judge sing a "song" in the last episode because it's all about them.
Editing is so choppy it makes your head spin. It helps to hide the talent. The MC sa-sa-sasa-saying wo-wo-wowo-wo-words is so annoying. It's just random gibberish. Or maybe I'm just not in the scene and don't see the greatness?
In any case. Pose was good. This isn't. I'm sad that a made up tv show like Pose showed more talent than a show supposedly showing real talent.
I hope it won't get a second season, or if it does it really needs to find a structure and become coherent and focus on the talent.
The Goop Lab (2020)
Complete dangerous pseudo manure
The first episode already sets the tone: we don't care about the science. We don't care about facts. We just want to put stuff out there so we seem enlightened.
A group of people talking about "forgetting your gender" and whatnot take magic mushrooms without any control for amount or anything. The reactions are something they probably would get through green tea and suggestion.
Then they try to say this naturally has to be done in secret since bla bla. No, it doesn't. Science actually studies these things and does it properly. Proper doses and proper controls. Not easily suggestible people from Gwyneth's company who have everything to gain from claiming all of this is real and works.
Don't believe it. Talk to doctors.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
No real plot, no point. Splatter galore
The movie doesn't really have a plot. I mean, sure, it does have things happening and it's coherent, but it's pointless. It feels like they had to make the final Rambo movie but couldn't figure out how to make him relevant at old age.
So let's put niece in trouble, let's put Rambo into revenge mode. Let's just have a long piece of the movie him killing people one by one in different ways. And then it's the end. Why?
Why did he have to be an idiot in the first place and just walk up to the bad guys? Why did he have to make it so macho? And in the end why couldn't he just get his revenge then and there in Mexico, why make a huge thing about his home and destroy it, and in the end assuming he died?
The monologue in the end tries to justify this but the whole movie just seems like an old guy losing his marbles doing random crap and killing because of killing. Nothing more.
The Boulet Brothers' Dragula: Search for the World's First Drag Supermonster (2016)
There's low budget and then there's this
The "queens" are shown in almost full makeup with clothes and then they're told what the next task is. Yeah, sure, that's how it goes. It's not bad editing.
The sets are bad. It's like some free space at a community center. I'm sure they could've found something slightly more horrendous if they tried.
The hosts are shown as something every monster knows and who have amazing parties. Yet they can't even dress a set, or act, or handle anything the show needs. The "queens" outshine them at every moment. They should be the ones trying to perform and get feedback on their stuff.
All in all, it's not done well and it's not done badly enough to be entertaining. It's just done badly. Recording audio, camera work, editing, sets, everything is on the level of "I've never done this before but we can throw things together."
The only redeeming thing is that the "queens" have some talent.