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Reviews
Wrongful Death (2023)
Typical Pare/Roberts Z grade film
Very much trying to be Saw (even references the films) but such a terrible script, badly acted (terrible actually) and the bad guys were just laughable.
If you like seeing boobies you may enjoy the film - lots of them, well they had to include something to try and keep people's attention (sure sign of how bad the film is).
Guessing all the raving review are from the actors and anyone else involved in the story
Still have 200 characters to make this review be accepted. 125 now, what else to say. Hmmm yeah so many credit scenes and yeah more boobies, lots of boobies in this film, almost there and character count goes green.
X (2022)
Typical Ti West fare
An hour into the movie before anything of note happens.
Then the next 40 minutes where a little bit happens
Lacklustre story using all the old horror tropes whilst actually making them worse
The guy cannot do horror stories, aspires to be Wes Craven but ends up more like Wesley Crusher.
I wonder how much of the advertising budget was spent on paying people to leave glowing reviews.
Cyrano (2021)
It's confirmed...
Peter Dinklage cannot sing
The story has been done many times before and far better than this abhorration.
Couldn't get past the first two singing parts he does while fighting off a dozen 6 foot tall attackers
It's all rather silly to suspend belief on this movie.
Archive 81 (2022)
Decent slow burn horror series
It's a slow burn for sure but it is a series so don't expect all the answers in the first episode
Binge worthy. Interesting intersection of timelines
As an aside what the hell has happened to Matt McGorry?
War of the Worlds: Annihilation (2021)
It's Asylum
Aliens invade the world.
Some big wigs along with the army have a meeting in a closet
Some really bad cgi alien robots go around shooting everything
That's about as far as I made it before I went to watch some paint drying.
Mass (2021)
The actors save the story
I'm not American but you could apply the story to many a situation
If it wasn't for the cast on display I may very well have turned off after 30 minutes but the acting kept me invested
The film displays the feelings of many in the same situation but keeps it all very tempered - on meeting the parents of someone's son that had just killed my own child I'm not sure so I would be so placid
The acting would have just about saved the film if it wasn't for the ending that just fizzled out with what seemed like an afterthought of a tale to try and elicit sympathy - something that should have been wrought out during the main part of the film not in the final few seconds.
The Wheel of Time: Origins (2021)
What did you say?
How is anyone expected to understand what is been said when their is a constant bass drone and loud music playing throughout the whole series
And when there is no other sound the characters whisper to each other.
The Shrink Next Door (2021)
Dark and twisted comedic story
Never heard of the story, never listened to the podcast!
Rudd and Ferrell in my opinion play off against each other brilliantly, supporting cast are also excellent
Thoroughly enjoyed the ride - the story told with the right tone of a dark twisted comedy that makes you cringe and giggle at the same time.
Death Valley (2021)
Poor mans Doom without the big guns?
Two incompetent soldiers fight to rescue a scientist from some newly discovered creature that takes over your DNA - hmmm, where have I heard that before
The first 30 minutes are just fighing in a jungle (decent pyrotechnics btw) where the two soldiers don't bother shooting the enemy even when they find your compadre you "hid" 5 minutes earlier under some tree roots with a big opening so no one could see him
The creature (some guy in fairly good makeup) is on screen for maybe 10 minutes in total - most of the final hour is just running thru tunnels or crawling thru air ducts or fighting the bad guys
Passable but only just - you've seen it all before.
Darren & Joe's Free Gaff (2021)
Bad even by RTE's standard and that's a low bar
Strange that the only other review on this is from someone who literally joined just to review this show.
Think of the worst comedy sketch show ever written and give it a budget of 100 euro
If you think you've seen some bad school plays over the years you haven't seen anything yet.
Terrible acting and zero funnies in this.
Dead & Beautiful (2021)
Not an horror story...
Not a horror story and not even a vampire story
Just some rich kids partying, squabbling and arguing.
Audio is very bad in a lot scenes - hard to understand what is being said due to other noises.
The Sinner (2017)
Season 4 - jumped the shark?
Loved the first season, liked the second, third wasn't up to the same standard but still enjoyed it
But who/what was, what I presumed of the series, the sinner of the season is completely absent in S4. It's now nothing more than any other mystery series.
Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin (2021)
Bargain Bin Quality
None of the previous films were all that good, some were passable but this is the epitome of boring
Nothing happens for over an hour then there is few minutes of some really bad scares and the worst looking scary creature (I've seen Halloween masks that looked better)
Help (2021)
Powerful film that went off the rails
Have to agree with many other reviewers
This started off as an harsh look at what happened in care homes (around the world) during the Covid times then went completely off the rails in the last 25.minutes.
Really don't understand the meaning behind the end of the film except for saving someone but that was akilter to the first hour of the film
Should have stuck to the matter at hand and I would have scored it a 10.
Fantasy Island (2021)
I don't get the hate
I love my horrors and sci-fi but sometimes a sweet redemptionesqe series is very fulfilling and that is what this show is
I remember watching the original and unless my memory fails me it continues everything that made the original what it was
Who cares if the leads are female - two very gorgeous women who act out the roles perfectly
Take off your nostalgia hat and enjoy the show for what it is - perfectly enjoyable family entertainment.
Zola (2020)
A film based on tweets says it all
A rather boring if at times slightly amusing film that goes nowhere
Nothing against the actors or the acting but the film serves no purpose, has no message and has no ending.
Confessions of a Time Traveler - The Man from 3036 (2020)
Oh dear lord!
If you want a synopsis of every disaster/end of the world sci-fi tv series/movie and Ancient Aliens episode then you've come to the right place
p.s. travelling in time doesn't suddenly remove all the radiation from your body
Tesnota (2017)
A rather boring story brought to the headlines by real killings
First off there was no reason at all to include video footage of real people being savagely killed
Except to bring the film to the headlines everywhere in the hope people will watch it
The rather long scene added absolutely nothing to the somewhat boring teenage angst movie
Not a film to be recommended lightly and probably avoided to deter the director from thinking this is what normal people like watching regardless what he saw in his youth
Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)
Ms. Johnston the star, the musical numbers the dud
There's a lot going right for this film - a simple "christmassy" story, the colours, the CGI (liked Don Juan Diego), the set scenes, the cinematography
But the whole movie is spoiled the very naff musical dancing numbers - some that go on forever - was like they gave the composer a few pages of the script and said come up with something people can sing
It wouldn't be so bad if any of the songs were memorable but they are definitely not unlike The Greatest Showman - they were far too shouty, maybe that would work on a stage but not in a film. Look to Annie, Oliver Twist etc for how similar films work with musical sets
The Ms. Johnston character is the standout in the film - entertaining and endearing when ever she was on screen
(As for the Trivia - Buddy 3000 is nothing like Wall-e - has that person even watched that movie?)
Are We Dead Yet (2019)
No comedy, no horror
Classified as a comedy horror but both are completely missing
Bad acting, bad dialogue and bad accents - trying to steal scare scenes (the very few there are) from far better horror movies and failing badly
P.S. when the mic casts a moving shadow take 2 minutes to reshoot the 10 second shot
Sløborn (2020)
A slow burn horror/thriller
After a binge watch of Dark I came across this and thought what the hell - another German series that maybe as good
But it is a very slow burn show
The first 5 episodes are spent setting up the characters, families, connections, rivalries, love affairs and so on
There is an introduction to the virus early on but doesn't really feature in the show again (bar some news reporting) til episode 6 where it then becomes the focus of the episodes
Having finished filming in December 2019 this was a very opportune series for what the world has experienced in the past 6/7 months
Survive the Night (2020)
Bruce craps out on another film
After a quite illustrious film career Bruce Willis continues his penchant for crappy films while any film that looks like it might make money demands a million dollars to get out of bed for
Just retire Bruce
As for the film - it's the typical bargain bin robbers get their comeuppance film - something to watch while you check out your Twitter feed, doesn't need much concentration as you've seen this film a hundred times before so know exactly what is gonna happen
Relic (2020)
This film is so deep...
...and yet so boring and totally pointless!
Classed as an horror but there is nothing horrific apart from a woman suffering from alzheimer's and yet gives absolutely no insight in to that condition (last 10 minutes excluded when the film decides ohhh lets try to be an horror and yet still fails miserably - I get this is supposed to be an analogy of the former person but it doesn't work)
Badly lit throughout, terrible dialogue, some off the cuff examples of losing your memory, obscure weird scenes that never connect up or seem to even have any relevance and never touched on again...the list goes on
If you want to see a film about alzheimer's then watch Still Alice - a real horror film without all the pretentiousness of this one
Jesus Shows You the Way to the Highway (2019)
Junk of the highest order
Imagine taking the tropes from multiple films, eating them, throwing them up,then eating the resulting bile
Regurgitate said bile and add in some bad dubbing, bad actors, no script and you kinda get somewhere near to what this film is
All the reviews here must be from people involved with the film because it is really bad with no redeeming qualities
Medical Police (2020)
Stupid, Dumb, Inane
Not sure why this has such a low rating.
There are lots of funny moments, some nice dialogue with funny lines and action that certainly made me laugh
Give it more than one episode and you will get into it.
If the likes of Naked Gun are your thing then you will like this show (even if it isn't quite on the same par it's still very enjoyable)