Change Your Image
jalberto718
Reviews
Stay Alive (2006)
This movie feels old, dated and cheesy...oh, and not scary.
I tried. God knows I tried to like this Swiss Cheese of a movie, but the story was too full of holes, some big enough to drive a horse drawn carriage through. The acting overall was even and the characters endearing enough that you regretted they died off like recently sprayed roaches, scattering off to die their own gruesome deaths. Overall, however, it was not really very scary. Afterall we have seen spooky quickly moving figures in the background since "The Brood" why back when / and it was scary then just briefly. This film just never resolved the basic plot points and thats the writer's job. Naturally you would expect the director to pick up on the fact that the story did not make sense. Like who's was the secret room behind the wardrobe, why did the blood hungry ghost not die when she received the nails as prescribed by the book they read earlier? Why did the computer say "game over" for Frankie's character even though he lived? The list goes on and on. I don't really feel comfortable recommending this film as its makes you feel like you wasted your time and there was not enough payoff in truly scary moments.
Epic Movie (2007)
Not funny, not clever - 100% waste of time and money
It is rare that I walk out of a movie. I always feel that in order to have an opinion about anything one must experience it in full. But I just couldn't sit through this empty unfunny slice of sophomoric fluff. It was utterly lacking in any quality that can justify sitting through it. As a big fan of spoofs I am prepared to sit through some predictable satire to get to the really juicy stabs at movie pop culture. But "epic" just cannot deliver the goods. The actors were not very funny or engaging to begin with but the writing weaves a childish story with sorry gags and attempts to bring in hip-hop culture in places where it just doesn't make sense - and this is in a movie genre where anything goes. My ire at this film extends to saying that it is not really even worthy of renting.
Carnages (2002)
Spoon-fed eccentricity for its own sake
Every now and then a film crosses my screen that deserves being lauded or decried. This one is for the latter category. This film begs the question - who cares? Who cares about any of the superficially and unrealistically drawn characters? Each one is eccentric to the point of silliness, and yet the director assumes the viewer will follow each story with some degree of emotional connectedness. The format is Altman-ish without the brilliance. People who's lives could not be any more different have a thread of a connection through a dead toro. And as the characters utter sentences that could be provocative, it seems more like dead-pan humor than anything else. Its a shame that the script with its "trying too hard to be deep" awkwardness never amounts to anything more than a mild freak show, including real burn victims made to sing a song about being burned. This film felt as though the director was trying to make it provocative without the benefit of substance.
Thomas est amoureux (2000)
Really original film, well acted and high production values!
Just got this film from the library; the strange face and bright colors really caught my eye. Little did I know that I was in store for a refreshingly original story where one never gets to see the protagonist. The subtle effect of the format of the film (we only see the people Thmoas sees on his videophone) slowly creates a palpable claustrophobic tension. Only sincere acting could make this script work and the actors deserve great credit, as well as the clear vision of the director. The animation sequences were also fun to watch. This film challenges typical notions of alienation in a modern world. It is a terrific exploration into the world of an agoraphobic in the not so distant future. Its great to know that a film like this can get made.