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Reviews
Mission: Impossible III (2006)
Might have been okay had it had a plot.
Mission Impossible 3 is definitely the worst of the series. I'm not saying that the other two were masterpieces, but at least they were decent. The third installment has so many plot holes and gigantic voids in the storyline that it is almost impossible to appreciate what is going on. Ethan Hunt's (Tom Cruise)goal, as in every action movie of this caliber, is to recover a generic super weapon in order to save the woman. Fair enough, I've seen James Bond save plenty of women over the years, and he made it worth my while. Problem is, you never once figure out what this horrible world ending device is. And at the end of the film when Cruise asks the head of his bureau what it is, he basically says "Not telling". If you can tell me at least one viable reason for the writers to leave out what the hell the focus of the movie even is, Id be glad to hear it.
The special effects were decent but the movie even lacked in them when compared to others of its kind. It had some nifty devices and remote turrets, but be ready to experience more of the face masking bull crap that you saw in the second one.
Had the movie been a little more clear, it would probably merit a more solid rating. But it's disappointment in those areas merits it no reward.
3/10
The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (2006)
Good, but could have been a lot better
Spending as much time on Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind as I have, you get to know what makes a free-roaming RPG really great. The absolute freedom, the endless caves to explore, the one of a kind relics that are actually hard to find...
Don't get me wrong. Oblivion is an amazing game, but it lacked something that Morrowind had. By something I mean a lot of little things that are easily overlooked, or things that have been reworked to be geared towards a more dumbed down audience.
Both games have their strong points where they are clearly better than the other, but on Oblivion's part when these occur it is usually because of the improved technology and resources that were available for it's production, which Morrowind did not have access to.
I'll lay it out for you. Oblivion is an awesome game, but needs to be tweaked more in the direction of the mood that Morrowind had going on. If you are a fan of the series you will know what I mean. I've already put a good number of hours into it, and it is a game that promises a lot of fun. Just don't do it too quickly, since you will run out of things to do a lot faster than you did in Morrowind.
Overall I'd give it an 8/10. Have fun.
Rottweiler (2004)
"Eat. Sleep. Fetch. Kill."
Dante, everyone's favourite American immigrant trying to sneak into Spain has been captured! Along with his wife Oola he must try to evade the evil Rottweiler through Spain for an hour and a half. Only, Oola is never in the movie because shes raped and murdered as soon as they are discovered... oh well THAT is what the plot outline should have looked like on the back of the box. Instead it was rambling about some futuristic dog plated with metal that got loose in a prison and went on an unstoppable rampage.
Anyway, as our hero Dante is evading the prison dog, "Rot" he somehow finds himself naked and running through the woods, often turning towards the screen for no apparent to bombard you with his rugged looks. I was surprised at how long he managed to last naked, and what's more as soon as he found some clothes, they were immediately torn off and I was forced to watch one of the only scenes I've ever seen where a man is raped.
As for the dog, on the box he appears to be some kind of Terminator like robot on the cover, when in reality he's just a dog that got his mouth smashed in with a pipe, prompting him to get metallic teeth. Well, turns out the dog looks normal aside from his teeth on the outside. But on the inside, (As we see in roughly 3 hallucinations by Dante) His entire skeleton is made of extremely well polished metal (Don't ask me how he knows this, he just does). Because at the end of the movie we get to see the dog's skeleton fighting him. Now, I know this is a bit of a spoiler but It's just too amazingly pointless that I couldn't share it. At the climactic battle, the dog has its skin melted off and it's skeleton goes to fight Dante in a gigantic ring of fire. So basically, we have a metal dog skeleton fighting a character most of us probably want to lose anyway. As for who wins, well you will just have to watch the movie won't you?
It's a horrible movie no doubt about that, but it managed to keep me laughing most of the time. A feat that most bad movies have not done (Catman and Robovampire, I'm looking at you). It's pretty hard not to laugh at some parts, so I would spare it the 1/10 and give it a 2 instead.