jmcd7910 Reviews

Fiend Without a Face (1958)

Terrible, even for the '50's

[2/10 · 31 August 2018]

I was 7 when this (ahem) film premiered, but it wasn't one of the many SF flicks I saw back then. So I didn't even have nostalgia going for me when I watched it this morning on FilmStruck. How the folks at FilmStruck chose it for their service is waaaaay beyond me. Anyway, here's my breakdown- 1. Story- ridiculous and inconsistent. Major events unexplained.Why did everyone have their brains sucked out except the constable, who was only driven mad? 2. Acting- laughable. especially Marshall Thompson and the colonel. 3. Script- annoyingly bad. Completely unrealistic dialogue. 4. Special effects- comparable to a low budget children's show. If I wasn't laughing at the acting, I was laughing at the SFX. I get it, this was the '50's, but still....... 5. Sound- Bad, just bad. The hero throws a flashlight after breaking it by using it as a hammer (huh?), and when it hits the ground it sounds like a window breaking.

IMHO, don't waste your time unless the nostalgia factor makes a difference.

Hellraiser (1987)

Pretentious, overrated crap.

[3/10 · 28 January 2018]

When Clive Barker first burst on the literary scene, I was enthralled. I went out and spent hundreds of dollars on first editions of the six "Books of Blood", which were individual volumes of Barker's short stories. "The Hellbound Heart" was in one of them. That's the story the movie is based on. I bought all his output, in first editions, as it came out. The man is a spectacularly talented writer, though probably insane. But the films- oh, the films. I just rewatched this thing, and it definitely hasn't aged well. Reading the reviews, it's obvious most of the praise heaped upon this is because of the subject matter (which doesn't say a lot about the reviewers), not the film itself. The acting, such as it is, is atrocious. The dialog is juvenile, the characters unbelievable. Andrew Robinson is as sleazy and cringe-inducing as ever, and the special; effects are laughable. It's amazing to me that this piece of trash spawned more than a half dozen sequels. I guess for some, pleasure comes only with a lot of pain. At having to sit through "Hellraiser".

A Devil's Game (2016)

Sickeningly bad

[1/10 · 21 January 2018]

Here's the big tip-off, right in the credits; it's made by a company called Little Jeremy Productions, the producer is Jeremy Ansdorfer, and the star is one Jeremy Ansdorfer. Now, I suppose it could be another "Rocky". Ummmm, no. It's just another piece of crap made on a shoestring, with no appeal to anyone but a 14-year old wannabe gangbanger. I watched 20 minutes of it before my stomach started telling me it couldn't take any more without heaving. The "acting", such as it is, is a few steps below what you'd see in a high school drama class. When "Julia" completely breaks down in tears after seeing a completely unlikeable British teen she's only just met 5 minutes earlier get thrown into the back of a van driven by her boyfriend's business partner, without any idea of what 's going on, the lack of anything resembling talent was made crystal clear. And that goes for everyone else in the cast. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that anyone giving this stinker any more than two stars is undoubtedly a friend or family member of Mr. Ansdorfer or one of the cast. Or maybe Mr. Ansdorfer himself, under an assumed name. Pay no attention whatsoever to the 7 rating on IMdb. This is one example of the perils inherent in watching movies Amazon gives you with Prime.

Tin Star (2017–2020)

By-the-numbers crap

[2/10 · 15 November 2017]

Totally formulaic, right out of the Modern Screenwriter's Stylebook. I mean, Tim Roth, walking down the street, doing a bad James Dean impression, head tucked down, shoulders shrugged, sunglasses on so he doesn't have to meet anyone's gaze. The Troubled Hero- OK. Got it. Of course he's an alcoholic, with a smart ass teenage daughter who hates him, and everything else in her life. Box checked. and of course, the Evil Big Oil Executives, who want to own everything and crush anyone who stands in their way. And then there's Christina Hendricks, whose only reason for being in anything is her stunning good looks, because she certainly can't act.

Get a subscription to Acorn TV and watch "Doc Martin".

Bad Ass (2010)

Watch the Weather Channel instead.

[1/10 · 2 November 2017]

In the Sopranos, Christopher had a dream of writing and producing movies. Of course, it was laughable that he'd ever be able to do it. As I watched this execrable piece of excrement, that kept coming to mind. I wish IMDb had ratings in the negative numbers range so I don't even have to give it a "1". i suppose the lighting was OK. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING else was horrendous. I only made it about twenty minutes in before I started throwing up in the back of my mouth, and had to end the torture. The acting from everyone was terrible, especially Tom Sizemore and the woman who played the nurse. As for her, you'd think they could have at least found an attractive woman without the duck lips and greasy hair! Johnny Messner, poor actor that he is, made me laugh every time he uttered a line from the amateurish script. The sound throughout was abysmal; gunshots sounded as if you were hearing them come from the bottom of a well. In conclusion, this is definitely a movie worth missing. The average TV movie from the 1970's is far better. I just can't believe they sunk $1.1 million into it!! Maybe Frank Stallone's salary was the main expense.

River (2015)

Still affected by it

[10/10 · 29 June 2016]

I've never seen anything like River. It was one of those Netflix "Let's give this a shot" things one night with my wife. Hadn't heard or read anything about it. I was slightly familiar with Mr. Skarsgaard, had never heard of Ms. Walker. When she started singing "I Love to Love" in the burger joint parking lot, I was hooked. If nothing else worked, I just wanted to see more of her. I checked it on IMDb the minute the first episode was over, and read everything about it. Disappointed there were only six episodes, but now that it's over, I'm in the camp that says, "Leave well enough alone". Something that magical has to end or it loses its soul, the thing that made it so amazing. The acting from the two leads was, IMHO, nothing short of a revelation. Such facial expression, such agony and joy. I wish I could turn back time and watch it all again. I cried at the last ten minutes, and still well up when i think of it or play the song, which I downloaded. It's not for everyone, but for those who appreciate it, it's not to be missed.

On Death Row (2012– )

Herzog convinced me

[8/10 · 23 June 2016]

I enjoy Mr. Herzog's body of work, and never expected to hear his fascinating voice on ID Channel, but "On Death Row" is being aired there, and I caught two episodes this morning, and all I can say is how edifying they were. Unfortunately, Herzog accomplished the exact opposite of his intention. He's an honest man, and he admits up front he's opposed to capital punishment. Good for him. Unlike a lot of anti-death penalty fanatics, he doesn't descend to calling the people who have the unenviable job of carrying out executions "depraved", worse than serial killers, doing it "for the money", and all sorts of such silly tripe. He doesn't make ridiculous assertions like "waiting 17 years to be executed" is reparation enough for taking another's life forever. He lets the murderers speak in their own words, offers no obvious judgments, and attempts to be impartial, not always successfully. But he tries. He offers no excuses for the evil in these people. When Darlie Routier, who hacked her 5 and 6 year old sons to death, whines about how she hasn't been able to hug her sons in 16 years, the obvious answer to her complaint needs no explanation. And Herzog respects us enough not to supply one. When a man who beat his 13 month (!) old daughter to death with a hammer, breaking 18 ribs, and causing multiple skull fractures (not to mention biting her in over 20 places on her little body, hard enough to leave tooth impressions), is asked why he did it, his reply is ,"Why? I don't know why it happened". Herzog doesn't need to continue with, "It happened? Like it happened that she died in her sleep or something?" I've been in favor of the death penalty in extreme cases, and only when proof of guilt is undeniable. And Mr. Herzog's series has strengthened me in that belief.

American Yakuza (1993)

TV movie quality

[3/10 · 8 January 2016]

Except for the cursing, this could have been a TV movie. And except for the Asian angle, any episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger". The "action scenes" are just as realistic as you'd expect from any other low budget flick. And the acting slightly more so. Which is to say it's not completely unwatchable if that's what you like.

That's just not what I like.

Oh, and I'm really sick of movies that show guys pulling out their weapons, holding them up in front of an open vehicle window so everyone can see them, and checking the magazine and racking a round into the chamber just before they go into action. That would have been done back before they ever left their headquarters.

Maybe I'm just spoiled by watching Hong Kong crime flicks.

The Raid: Redemption (2011)

I'm no film student- maybe that's why I loved it.

[9/10 · 24 March 2014]

I just caught this on Showtime last night. Thank God I DVR'd it, because I want to watch it a couple more times.

I'm amazed at the critics on here who nitpick it for lack of character development, insufficiently literate dialogue (it's subtitled, for God's sake. And the characters are a SWAT team in Indonesia, not a bunch of college professors sitting around a table ruminating on the meaning of life), and the occasional errant CGI blood effect.

Some pretentious twit from Australia wrote that "Not everyone is as enthusiastic about violence as this sadistic and purposeless series", in reference to the sequel (YES!!!!!!). All I can say to that is, "Not everyone has to watch it". I loved it.

The best action movie I think I've ever seen, with the most fight scenes, gun play, and most of all (though I've never seen an actual killing), the most realistic-looking deaths in a long time.

But if it sounds like this will be just another Hollywood-style blood-fest, with laughable action scenes and totally cheesy characters (think "Commando" or any Steven Seagal movie), you couldn't be further from the truth. The camera-work, the music, the whole atmosphere created kept me from looking away for an instant, and kept me on the edge of my seat, totally immersed. Rent it, buy it, DVR it, but watch it.

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

Very good, enjoyable flick; ignore the cinema snobs and America haters on IMDb

[9/10 · 1 December 2011]

I just spent two of the most enjoyable hours I can remember watching Battle Los Angeles. This was one of those movies I watched till the credits stopped rolling and the theme music ended, because I didn't want to finish the experience. Was it one of the Ten Greatest Films of All Time? Of course not. Was it predictable and clichéd? Of course, but how many movies aren't? Did it make me think and get into my brain like a Wong Kar Wai film, or even a Coen Brothers' movie? No, but that's not what I was looking for. It had action, excellent special effects, humor and even a few touching (to me, at least) moments. I'd highly recommend it, unless you're one of those drips who doesn't like anything Roger Ebert doesn't, or who just hates anything American, about Americans (unless they're evil incarnate), or (God forbid) pro-American. Yes, it's about heroic American Marines. If it had been made in the late '40's John Wayne would have played Aaron Eckhart's role. I've read a good sampling of the reviews here, and all I can say to all the whiny foreigners who sniffle about how America always wins, America does this or that, America sucks, etc., etc. is this- I'm tickled that you wasted two hours getting your panties all in a bunch over a film I thoroughly enjoyed. We win again, knuckleheads. God Bless the USA!!!!!!

The Mist (2007)

Piece of crap (SPOILER ALERT!!!!)

[1/10 · 3 June 2008]

This movie was a complete joke. The acting (except for Marcia Gay Harden) was abysmal, the effects laughable, the dialogue completely unrealistic, and, as usual with Stephen King lately, every character was a caricature, designed to do nothing more than advance the plot or spout one of King's lame commentaries on the "human condition".

It was also cruel; having Dave kill his son for no reason was just plain nasty, which is something else King has become. I guess he's getting bitter about being a has-been writer. And Thomas Jane might just be the worst actor working (why is he working?) today. His screams and wails at the end were embarrassing to watch.

And why did the mist suddenly clear up the minute he saw the soldiers?

DO NOT waste your time with this lame film. It should have been a made for TV movie; it's already got all the commercial fade-outs in it.

Can't believe Frank Darabont could do this tripe.

It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958)

THis movie scared the hell out of me in 1960

[23 September 2006]

I haven't seen this movie in 46 years, but the thing I remember about it is the fact that I was so terrified watching it, at nine years of age at the Lincoln Theatre in Kearny, NJ, that I had to leave before it ended. I didn't sleep well for many nights after that.

There was a scene I remember where a crew member opened an air duct access hatch (or what, as I recall now, looked like one), and a hand fell down in front of him, obviously belonging to a dead colleague of his. The creature had stuffed the body in the ductwork. That was all I could take. I threw my comic book (I always bought one for 10 cents on my way to the movies on Saturday afternoons. My mom would give me 35 cents, 10 for the comic and a quarter for the double feature with cartoons in between) up in front of my face so I couldn't see, and ran up the center aisle, out the doors, and away from that horror. I saw just about every monster/horror/sci-fi movie made in the 1950's on one or another of those wonderful Saturdays at the Lincoln Theatre, and the only other one that made me run out was House on Haunted Hill.

What I wouldn't give for another chance to see two movies and three cartoons for a quarter, through the unjaded eyes of a nine-year old boy, still able to be scared out of my wits by a guy in a rubber suit.

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

One of my favorite ten movies ever

[10/10 · 2 September 2006]

I saw this wonderful movie in 1990 when it first came out. I was already a Tim Burton fan of sorts, but this made me a Burton fanatic. I saw it first with my wife, and I remember thinking at the very beginning, when Danny Elfman's haunting, beautiful score was only a few notes old, that I was going to love this film. And I did. It just hit me right in the heart, in the most vulnerable, deepest part of my soul. I know that sounds pretentious, but it's the best I can do with my limited writing ability. Now understand, I was 39 years old at the time, a pipefitter/welder by trade, certainly not someone people would think of as "sensitive" or "artistic" by nature. I've been in more than my share of fistfights, ride a Harley, and love guns, power tools, and anything that explodes. But by the end of Edward Scissorhands, especially at the Ice Dance scene, I was sobbing like a little girl. My wife had to help me out of the theatre, because my eyes were so tear-swollen I could barely see. I admit I have a weakness for characters that are outsiders, or (to borrow from Heinlein) "strangers in a strange land", but what Tim Burton and Johnny Depp did with this scissor-handed man was nothing short of magical. I took my 16 year old daughter to see it the next day, and I started tearing up at the beginning this time, knowing what was coming. As we left the theatre, Liz was stone-faced, and I was desperately clenched against the flood of emotion I was holding back. I didn't want to look like a fool in front of her. When we got into the sunlight, we looked at each other, and I saw that she was trying as hard as me not to break down. Which is exactly what we both proceeded to do, right there in front of the theatre. We held each other and sobbed. And I felt closer to her than I had in a long time. Thank you, Tim Burton, for that moment.