catdogmanfish Reviews

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Deja vu

[6/10 · 28 August 2022]

So I watched the original immediately before watching this, and honestly this was largely a carbon copy of the original except for the climactic battle. I thoroughly enjoyed the last third of the movie, but the first two-thirds were hard to watch. Just like alot of the recent remakes and sequels, I enjoyed the parts where they treaded new ground, and disliked the long list of homages to the original. I get it, if the movie strays too far away then fans will get mad. If it follows too closely then fans will also get mad. They tried to thread the needle and get a good middle ground, but I just wasn't feeling it.

Prey (I) (2022)

Wow, so many negative reviews

[10/10 · 17 August 2022]

It's really sad sometimes that everyone gets a voice on the internet because there is so much women hate coming out against this movie. This was such a good film. I didn't think I would like it. I went in thinking "oh great, another sequel/prequel, it's probably going to be bad". I was pleasantly surprised. It's a quick, well flowing film, the acting is great, the cinematography was really well done. I know the naysayers will especially hate what I'm going to say next, but I'll say it all the same; it's great to not only have a great female protagonist, but also to have a story that honors Native American culture. It really pains me that so many people can't see this film as good. This was a pleasant surprise, and I am proud to say going into it I was wrong. More of this please!

Fast Foodies (2021– )

Fun but possibly over my head

[6/10 · 31 July 2022]

This is a fun show, the chef personalities are entertaining, and they have a decent celebrity guest list. I love the passion that all the hosts have in cooking and it's really fun to get simple tips on cooking. My big problem is the remix round. Granted, I am not cultured at all, so I apologize in advance, but I don't get how a dish involving tuna or halibut is remotely close to a cheeseburger, especially with the style they cook it in. I hate to give it six stars, but I can't connect to the second half of each episode.

Floor Is Lava: Hotter than Lava (2022) Season 2, Episode 5

This was exhausting to watch

[3/10 · 30 July 2022]

Please no more internet reality TV stars or whatever all these people are. I like it when it's real people, with real stories and comraderie. Do I root for the meat head misogynist d-bags? Do I root for team extra? Or do I root for yet another reality TV show of people sharing the same house?

Floor Is Lava (2020– )

People are overly critical these days

[9/10 · 30 July 2022]

This is a really fun show. I will admit the contestants in the first episode are hard to listen to, but once you get past that it gets so much better. This is just silly fun and it's really entertaining. A fair amount of reviewers are also hating on the host. I feel he's doing an alright job with what he has to work with. This is a good show when you want to sit down and unplug from life's troubles.

Jurassic World Dominion (2022)

As someone who loves the JP/JW franchise, this was a hard watch.

[3/10 · 21 July 2022]

This movie is all flash, no substance. The plot is pretty contrived. I was excited to see the former cast members from the original, but their story didn't really feel organic, it just felt off. Honestly, this just felt like a half baked James Bond film, in that the antagonist is like a second rate Bond villain and the plot felt really vague. After a while it felt like a commercial for dinosaurs. "Hey look it's this dinosaur, oooh aaaah", "there's another one we've never seen in these movies, oooh aaahhh". This was a major letdown. I rewatched the whole franchise leading up to this and honestly, it's really hard for me to rate this above Jurassic Park III and Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom. This was mid 00's bad remake/sequel writing, and I thought we grew out of that stuff.

The Producers (2005)

AAAAAHHHHHH overacting!!!!!!

[5/10 · 12 June 2022]

Comparing anyone to Gene Wilder is obviously going to set them up for failure, that being said, Matthew Broderick's annoying shouting minutes at a time is like having my ear canals cleaned out with a fiery hot ice pick over and over again. Nathan Lane similarly goes too big. The original managed to do over the top in a well done way. This remake just feels like a five year old directed it.

Who's Harry Crumb? (1989)

The Master Of Disguise of the 80's

[3/10 · 6 June 2022]

First of all I really wish John Candy was still with us. Gone too soon. For his part he gives a very spirited performance and really goes for the gold in this film. Sadly, like the aforementioned Dana Carvey film The Master Of Disguise, this film just keeps hitting the wrong mark. As much as I love John Candy, wow is this bad.

Stranger Things: Chapter Two: Vecna's Curse (2022) Season 4, Episode 2

Really getting tired of the bully trope

[4/10 · 31 May 2022]

This season feels really out of place with the first three. There is too much going on. There is a ridiculous amount of exposition dumps, and little to show for it. On top of that, we have yet another cartoonish bully stereotype that does horrendous things for little to no reason. No idea why these episodes are so highly rated. I just binged season three before starting this season and the differences between the two are night and day.

Halo: Inheritance (2022) Season 1, Episode 7

The Scrappy Doo episode.

[1/10 · 12 May 2022]

This was a hard watch. I don't care about these characters or Madrigal. Kwan Ha is so unlikable, I want to get back to the other characters and the plot at large.

Moonfall (2022)

Speaking as someone that loves bad movies, avoid this movie.

[1/10 · 24 April 2022]

There is not a single original idea in this film. I believe with all my heart that whoever wrote this movie just wrote it while having a 90's space movie marathon. This movie borrows plot lines, scenes, and tropes from Deep Impact, Armageddon, The Day After Tomorrow, Independence Day, and the list goes on and on. To further emphasize this point, the one character's cell phone ringer is that ringer from those clunky 90's cell phones. Our main character follows the usual disheveled survivor's guilt hero trope. You have the ex wife's new husband butting heads with the ex husband trope. The "ten minutes left" trope. Trigger happy military trope. This movie should be renamed Tropefall. This was a hard watch for me. 5.2 is too damn high a rating for this recycled thrice over garbage.

The Batman (2022)

Surprisingly good.

[9/10 · 24 April 2022]

This movie should not work, but it does. It steals elements from Watchmen, Seven, and even Inglorious Basterds. Some of the choices they make, like a slow, subdued Batman reveal, should not work but maybe because it's not the typical Batman movie choice and that makes it work. The characterization in this film is phenomenal, everyone is bringing their A game, and this is coming from a guy that aggressively hates Robert Pattinson in every movie (not just Twilight) that he's in. Even though I was 100% hooked from start to finish, the almost three hour runtime is not ideal.

Ruby Sparks (2012)

Regurgitating the same formula with diminished results

[2/10 · 20 February 2022]

There is nothing new or special about this film. If you haven't seen Stranger Than Fiction, 500 Days of Summer, or Elizabethtown, then this would probably be a good film. It follows the usual formula, dull guy who is trying to escape his going nowhere life, and in comes his savior, this fiesty devil may care love interest, and eventually he learns to finally live life. Yawwwwwwn. The pretentious nature of the main character alone is enough to hate this film. The filmmakers drive their narrative home with the surgical precision of a wrecking ball. For example: "we need to drive home the idea of the main character being an intelligent writer, let's have him write on a typewriter in a tweeed jacket, that'll do the trick" you guys nailed it.

Space Force (2020–2022)

Meh

[5/10 · 20 February 2022]

It has all the elements of a good show, great cast, great showrunner, great premise, but it just doesn't lift off the ground. When I saw Greg Daniel's was involved I got really excited, but this just doesn't have the charm or wit of his other shows (The Office, Brooklyn Nine Nine, Parks and Recreation). Personally I think the problem is making fun of Donald Trump. It's low hanging fruit, and everyone goes for it, to the point where it's not funny anymore. Overall if I had to describe this show in one word, I would use the word "lazy".

Thumbelina (1994)

Do not believe the reviews, this is a garbage film

[2/10 · 13 February 2022]

I hate to be that guy, but the majority of positive reviews are by people who liked this movie as kids. Less than twenty minutes in there is a blatant ripoff of "A Whole New World" from Aladdin. As with virtually all Don Bluth movies, this is just diet Disney. The voice acting is hit and miss, the story has the surgical precision of a chainsaw, and if anyone wants to make a joke about how sexually deprived Disney animators seen to be, they should watch a Don Bluth film. This is terrible and anyone who says otherwise must be blind or delusional.

D2: The Mighty Ducks (1994)

Diminished returns over the years

[5/10 · 2 February 2022]

Loved this as a kid but the older I get, the more terrible this movie gets. It does have alot of fun in it, but I found myself seeing things that made no sense and found myself thinking "just don't question it". I can overlook alot of the silliness, but the real thing that takes me out of the film with every rewatch is the proprietor of the skate shop, Jan, has thousands of dollars of ducks jerseys and equipment made, and shipped from Minneapolis to LA in the off chance that team USA might need them. As an adult it's obvious that this was Disney like: "Hey, we just started this NHL team based off this movie, so like the team kids and buy our merchandise"

Eternals (2021)

Marvel's Missed Opportunities

[2/10 · 26 January 2022]

There is so much wrong with this film. I'm cool with a longer runtime for a movie if it's really good, this movie plays out like a long bad jazz solo, you just want it to end already. The beginning of the movie showed some promise because I got the vibe that Cerce's (Gemma Chan) boyfriend played by Kit Harrington would keep her grounded and be a fun partnership throughout the movie, but that's not the movie we got. Instead this movie is about 20% action, 80's exposition dumps.

The biggest problem of this film is it's trying to fit 7,000+ years of lore and character building in less than three hours of time and is trusting you, the viewer, to roll with it.

As far as characterization, we get the most out of characters we don't like, and very little of the characters we want. I want to applaud the filmmakers on going against convention and not bringing Kingo back for the final battle but I think the set up and payoff is convention for a reason. The Ikaris and Cerce characters are about as exciting as watching paint dry and have zero chemistry. I want to care about the plight of Angelina Jolie's character, but again, there is so little character development and too much lore for the audience to take in in such a short time. The deviants are treated as simply a plot device, and I dare say an afterthought throughout the movie, making the stakes feel really low and the climax underwhelming.

This movie should have been a series, and even then, I doubt very much it would be better with the scattershot storytelling the filmmakers used with it. My prediction is the Eternals will become like the Hulk and not get any more films, but rather become supporting characters in other marvel films. This was just not good, at all. You can tell there are alot of people giving glowing reviews who want to like it but give off the vibe that they refuse to say a marvel movie is bad. I can say with certainty that this is my least favorite Marvel movie, it makes Iron Man 3 look like a masterpiece.

Shadow in the Cloud (2020)

Ugh!

[2/10 · 24 January 2022]

I had it at a seven or eight star ranking until around the 50 minute mark. It was interesting, it was clever, I liked the use of the other characters in radio chatter........and then she climbed out of the plane and crawled around on it.......

Seven Psychopaths (2012)

Feels like a fan movie ripping off Taranrino and the Coenns

[4/10 · 7 January 2022]

This movie had it's good parts, but alot of it just has the vibe of trying to copy other movie styles instead of the filmmakers finding their own. Numerous times throughout the movie I found myself getting excited at the prospect of the movie going a certain way, just for it to drop the ball and follow a subpar storyline. This could have been so much better.

Jingle All the Way 2 (2014 Video)

This was a slog

[2/10 · 26 December 2021]

I've seen some reviewers say the reason this is rated low is because people don't get Larry The Cable Guy. I can see their point, but I think that's a poor way to rationalize this film's subpar performance. I think alot of people wanted a well made sequel or reboot to the 90's Jingle All The Way, and this is unquestionably not it. Let's be real; there is a huge chasm between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Larry The Cable Guy. None of these characters are relatable, in fact I can relate more to upper middle class Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 94 film than I do with "everyman" Larry The Cable Guy. One of the adults in this movie sends Christmas cards to Santa. Long story short; I just think this "rich man vs poor man with a good heart" storytelling is lazy and doesn't have staying power. This was a big bag of missed opportunities.

Frozen (I) (2013)

Not the best but not the worst

[5/10 · 28 November 2021]

This film is most definitely massively overhyped, but there is some good in it. I watched it when it came out and liked it well enough. Ten years later I decided to rewatch it and honestly it isn't as good as I remembered it. Most of the songs are kind of blah, and it was really hard for me to stay engaged.

Cowboy Bebop (2021)

How is this rated so low?!

[10/10 · 21 November 2021]

Let me start by saying I went into this thinking it would be terrible, boy was I wrong. This series is very well done. They may have some tech not in the anime, and they take a couple liberties with some characters, but they really went deep in their adaptation. The characters, John Cho's Spike is a perfect example, move and speak just like their anike counterparts, the detail is so intricate, it is amazing. I hate to be "that guy" but I daresay alot of the negative reviews are probably from people who haven't even seen the show and they just rated it low based on the casting and their dogged defense of the anime. Give this a shot, it is so very good.

Explained: Sugar (2021) Season 3, Episode 1

You need sugar to get through the episode

[3/10 · 7 November 2021]

Love this show but this episode has the energy of someone who has been dead for five hundred years. Kerri Russell is a great actress but wow is she so monotone in this narration.

Under Wraps (2021 TV Movie)

I wanted to like this so bad

[4/10 · 14 October 2021]

Some of the things they did with the story were good, but this just misses out on the snappy dialogue and fun sight gags of the original. I think overall this just feels too safe, Disney isn't really trying anything new or pushing any boundaries.

Squid Game (2021– )

It's okay

[6/10 · 8 October 2021]

This is a simple formula that has been done to death "poor people being made to do highly fatal games while rich people watch". By now people should be over this kind of thing, but it makes them feel smart, and they can parrot phrases they heard from other people like "it's an study of human nature" etc etc. The positives for it are the aesthetic of the sets and costumes. This world and it's environment just make you want to jump into the screen and explore, though not if it means being a part of the games. I enjoyed it well enough but let's face it, this is no 8.0+ IMDB ratings are a joke.