Full disclosure... I tend to enjoy Lifetime movies. They are bright, breezy, just the right amount of Cheese. Guilty pleasures. 90% of this movie is a damn Baby crying. It goes on far too long. I couldn't hit mute fast enough. This is to show the Parents are stressed out and low on sleep. Enter the Nurse... A total stranger. That tracks. Only the Sassy Grandma knows what's up. The Parents are too stupid to function. Even by Lifetime standards. On paper it sounds like a corny good time right? There's nothing fun or exciting about this movie. It's very dry. It suffers from a lifeless script that takes itself too seriously. I would recommend "The Nurse" (1997) instead.
Reviews
6 Reviews
Alone in the Dark 2
(2008 Video)
Just disappointing...
19 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Oddly enough I was a fan of part 1. It had a good budget and special effects. Part 2 recasts our hero with an Asian actor. okay... You get used to it after a few minutes. This is far below budget from part 1. It really has very little connections to part 1 aside from the main character.
This time around a small group is trying to thwart an ancient Witch (played by Allision Lange) from gaining an enchanted Knife. And coming back into our world... As cheesy as it sounds on paper I was looking forward to it if not for Lange's performance. Sadly she isn't given much to do besides walk around in fog and a glowing light snarling. She is also Played by someone else in flashbacks.
Sadly the plot of an evil Witch actually had potential to be creepy. But the budget (or maybe it's the script) never really goes anywhere aside from the usual group of people stuck in an area cliche. Say what you want about part 1 but at least it was entertaining and had a good budget. Poor Lance Hendrickson and Bill Moseley have been in better films.
If you like lower budget films with not alot of action you may like this. If you are expecting an action packed battle like part 1's second half I would look elsewhere.
This time around a small group is trying to thwart an ancient Witch (played by Allision Lange) from gaining an enchanted Knife. And coming back into our world... As cheesy as it sounds on paper I was looking forward to it if not for Lange's performance. Sadly she isn't given much to do besides walk around in fog and a glowing light snarling. She is also Played by someone else in flashbacks.
Sadly the plot of an evil Witch actually had potential to be creepy. But the budget (or maybe it's the script) never really goes anywhere aside from the usual group of people stuck in an area cliche. Say what you want about part 1 but at least it was entertaining and had a good budget. Poor Lance Hendrickson and Bill Moseley have been in better films.
If you like lower budget films with not alot of action you may like this. If you are expecting an action packed battle like part 1's second half I would look elsewhere.
The Ferryman
(2007)
One ride I wish I hadn't taken...
15 March 2019
Warning: Spoilers
So on paper I thought this would be similar to "Ghost Ship". Surprisingly it was alot more brutal. The Ferryman character only has so much of a half life. He must kill and possess each character to fill his quota. What turned me off about the film is how mean spirited it is. Really for no reason.
The plot isn't advanced by the baddie picking up a Dog and breaking it's spine. Nor is it by taunting the Dog and hearing it cry in pain before it goes overboard. Lousy writing. The movie doesn't really get any better. It tries to make the most of it's cramped quarters.
One thing I will give the film props for is it's international cast of characters. Instead of a group of dumb Teens on a party Boat we have adults. Refreshing to say the least. I will say I felt bad for the characters for being in such dire circumstances. So the acting is convincing.
The movie is just too dark for it's own good. Mean spirited and bleak. The movie ends in predictable fashion... I wanted to like this movie. But the prolonged torture of the Dog and no light at the end of the Tunnel for anyone really brings it down.
You could say that's the point of a horror movie. To make one feel uncomfortable. But it's just too much. I wasn't expecting a horror comedy. But I wasn't expecting to be depressed. I'm sure someone will enjoy it. It just wasn't for me... Happy hunting.
The plot isn't advanced by the baddie picking up a Dog and breaking it's spine. Nor is it by taunting the Dog and hearing it cry in pain before it goes overboard. Lousy writing. The movie doesn't really get any better. It tries to make the most of it's cramped quarters.
One thing I will give the film props for is it's international cast of characters. Instead of a group of dumb Teens on a party Boat we have adults. Refreshing to say the least. I will say I felt bad for the characters for being in such dire circumstances. So the acting is convincing.
The movie is just too dark for it's own good. Mean spirited and bleak. The movie ends in predictable fashion... I wanted to like this movie. But the prolonged torture of the Dog and no light at the end of the Tunnel for anyone really brings it down.
You could say that's the point of a horror movie. To make one feel uncomfortable. But it's just too much. I wasn't expecting a horror comedy. But I wasn't expecting to be depressed. I'm sure someone will enjoy it. It just wasn't for me... Happy hunting.
The Hive
(2014)
Tries to be different... Too many Cooks in the Kitchen
27 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Sadly the film is a jumbled mess from the get go. Starting out like a typical Summer camp film it veers into abstract territory. The problem is the annoying jarring flashbacks take up about 85% of the movie! The most disappointing aspect is the "threat" against the main characters. It really isn't scary enough. People covered in Tar and Slime mumbling isn't threatening when you can suffocate them or punch them out. Instead of a Zombie etc. outbreak they are basically collectively held hostage by some black goop conciousness that was man made in a Lab. Flashing back to a shady organization where a Dr. accidentally released the goop by the Camp via a crashed Plane. (Why steal a Plane at all??) In what could've been explained in 5 minutes takes the majority of the runtime in snippets. Our main character has Amnesia and doesn't understand what's going on... So he plays with Chalk awhile trying to focus. But he can zero in on anyone in the "Hive's" collected conciousness... so he enjoys watching a girl wash herself in a Shower... very useful. He suffocates his Girlfriend but taps into to bringing her back to life via electricity. (She surely wouldn't br dead after 27 minutes of being suffocated... )
Fast forward to a few scant characters dying. (Where are the rest of the Campers or Staff??) And the movie basically ends. A waste of a long 85 minutes. Had the movie had a more concrete threat and was told in a more linear way with a satisfying conclusion the movie would've been watchable. I liked the two main actors and really wanted to like the film.
Ju-on Car
(2008)
Don't get in the Car!!
3 February 2019
Well I watched this on Anazon Prime. This is low budget but still enjoyable. It had no subtitles which was annoying. Not that I couldn't figure out what was going on. Being an American this wasn't my first foreign horror film. It's also very short. Barely 61 minutes. Which can be a pro or con depending on how you look at it. Lower budget so not much in the way of special effects. But still some sparse brutal scenes.
247°F
(2011)
A split second could land you in hot Water...
13 January 2019
Sometimes in life all it takes is a split second. A wrong turn here, a forgotten Key there, Forgetting a Phone and you are screwed. I guess on paper the plot sounds pretty trite. A scaled down survival film. But for me it did the job. The acting is what sold me. You feel the character's mild frustration, to utter desperation and hopelessness. I felt for these kids and wanted to see what would happen next. Instead of jumping straight to the drama we get to know them. For the most part they are just regular Joe's in a bad predicament pushed to the breaking point. It's no "Earthquake" or "The Towering Inferno". It's a simple plausible little movie. Having been in similar (tho not as dire) circumstances I wanted to reach through the screen and help them. Having just watched it again 2 years later the film still effected me.
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