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Sonic Mania Adventures (2018)
Paramount Pictures, take notes!
This is technically meant to be a five-part teaser to Sonic Mania Plus, but with the way Tyson Hesse and the rest of the staff handle this series, you'd assume it's the pilot of a much-needed cartoon show for everyone's favorite hedgehog, who, for the record, I personally think needs to stop being mistreated by the strangers who claim to be Sonic Team nowadays. Christian Whitehead and everyone else who put together Sonic Mania, the Number 1 Game of 2017, proved to be a good means of inspiration for this collection of enjoyable gags, clever situations, and showing the characters shining with their proper personalities through their actions as opposed to words, something that even the Genesis Trilogy (or at least Sonic the Hedgehog 3) pulled off tremendously. The source material is followed properly while still trying to be something new, every character shines with comedy and charm, and if this somehow spawns something bigger and better for this fast-running rodent, then Sonic Mania Adventures, in my opinion, has already achieved its goal, and then some. Thank you, Tyson Hesse!
Thomas & Friends: The Adventure Begins (2015)
Reverend Wilbert Awdry would be proud of you, Andrew Brenner.
Thomas the Tank Engine is not your average kids' show. When done right, it's not one of those 4th-wall breaking shows that talks down to kids like they're mentally unstable. It's an incredibly creative, well-done, never-judge-a-book-by-its-cover adaptation of a great Reverend's book series. To me, it's the sentient vehicle equivalent of Dr. Seuss. It's timeless, it has endearing morals, unique illustrations, and a great writing style. It's something people have continued to introduce to their children. In time, it spawned a TV show adaptation that received spectacular reception, not just because of its creative visuals, but because of its story, music, and characters. As it continues with what is now their 20th season, it's safe to say it's done its job well at shaping millions of childhoods. Heck, even George Carlin narrated the first 4 seasons of the American dub! One of the funniest and most risqué American comedians of all time has his respect for what Wilbert Awdry has created for the world.
However, it's safe to say that it has gotten a lot of flak in the past few years as well. Not because of the switch to full-on CGI animation (Although, some nostalgic fans didn't really appreciate that change), but because of the terribly-written episodes we've seen in Seasons 9-16. Heck, Seasons 9-11 still used the live-action models and stop-motion, and the show STILL took a massive dive in quality, even before the CGI change. And of course, we have Sharon Miller to thank for that. She was definitely the most obnoxiously lazy writer the show has ever had. During her tenure, you had to dig REAL deep to find something legitimate. Thankfully, there were a couple good things to come out of it, like The Great Discovery and Blue Mountain Mystery.
But even then, Sharon didn't have much involvement with Great Discovery and Blue Mountain Mystery had a heavily-edited script, thankfully for the better. The problem was, she treated the show like a massive attempt to gain money and nothing else, and that's not what it was meant to be. It was intended to just be a TV series that told its own entertaining story. But with Sharon Miller at the helm of the writing team, you can bet nostalgic fans like me WEREN'T happy. In ANY way.
But after that abysmal end to Season 16, she finally left and the resurrection of the show revealed his face: Andrew Brenner. He and his writing team have not only gone out of their way to do more than enough research on what the show is really about, but they've also shown it. They've succeeded at introducing new settings, stories, and characters, and they've even brought back some old concepts. They managed to pull the show's shining quality out of the dark pit Sharon Miller had dug for it, and make it shine even more than it has in years. And nowhere is that more brilliantly highlighted than in THIS movie.
This film is not only a remade adaptation done right (something we almost never see nowadays), but it's actually turned out even BETTER than the original Season 1 episodes. And that is REALLY saying something. Granted, it's not outright perfect in every way. There's the occasional animation error if you look hard enough, and a few minor nitpicks you might figure out if you're a big-enough fan. It gets right what it needs to get right. Incredible animation from Arc Productions, the characters are in the right, and the origin story is all-around fantastic, for old fans AND newcomers.
Next to the Railway Book Series, this is by far, the best way to introduce someone to this 71-year-old story. They say this was fan service, but I don't even believe that. I believe what Chris Tomson says... that it's a love letter to the Awdry family for coming up with something that is still growing in people's hearts, even today.
Thank you so much, Andrew Brenner, for resurrecting my childhood and sending this little blue train to new heights. Look after him for us...
Thomas & Friends: Misty Island Rescue (2010)
Reverend Wilbert Awdry is rolling in his grave!
Where to start with this garbage?!
It introduces 3 incredibly annoying characters that almost rival Fred Figglehorn's obnoxious voice, it has a surprisingly disturbing racist quote against the diesel engines, any sense of logic and reason is completely ignored, there's an endless stream of irritating rhyming and alliteration, and even frickin' GRAMMAR ISSUES. That is just pathetic.
It's Sharon Miller's absolute worst piece of writing, and it needs to be forgotten forever. I imagine this lazy broad burning in a fire whenever I think of this abomination of a film! This is a movie that goes against EVERYTHING the Awdry family envisioned for Thomas the Tank Engine. DO NOT see this. It's not canon, it's not interesting, and it's extremely degrading for your children. Skip this one at ALL costs.
Fred: The Movie (2010)
The Worst Film of All Time
If I could give this piece of crap a 0/10, I would. Heck, I'd go far enough to give it a -10/10, that meaning this film offers NOTHING ENTERTAINING WHATSOEVER.
First off, you have the worst YouTuber of all time as the main character. This is a guy that jump-cuts after every high-pitched sentence he utters from his filthy little mouth, in a desperate attempt to make sure he doesn't lose the attention of the toddlers watching him, because in all honesty, that's likely the age group he appeals to in his web shorts.
He is an all-out assault on your eyes and ears, and will not stop until you've either muted the video or destroyed your laptop. He's unfunny, immature, loud, aggravating, obnoxious, and above all, pathetic. And how he became the first YouTuber to gain a million subscribers is a clear sign that the internet is REALLY messed up.
So having to put up with him for 80 solid minutes in his own film, which soon grew into an abysmal movie trilogy somehow, is outright TORTURE.
Seriously, the acting is the worst I've ever heard in a movie, the script and screenplay are a complete disgrace, several scenes in this movie are either awkward, or are bound to make you feel unclean for witnessing them, and at least 95% of this film consists of nothing but filler, or scenes designed specifically to make the main character look like a complete moron, as that's apparently what the film crew confuse for comedy in this piece of sh*t.
This film will mentally and physically harm you in every possible fashion. Stay as far away from this piece of trash as you possibly can... for your own good.
Screw Lucas Cruikshank for coming up with Fred, screw modern Nickelodeon for letting this travesty premiere on their channel, and Screw! This! Movie!