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The Room (2003)
The best and the worst movie ever made
Little is known about the eccentric and wonderfully bizarre legend that is Tommy Wiseau Which makes him all the more mysterious and intriguing. Now around 14 years after its release I finally sat down and watched his masterpiece. The Room is special to me, Whilst watching it I experienced many different emotions I was happy, I was sad, I was confused and I was uncomfortable it also made me angry, but after the movie was over I found it hard to stay angry at the Room. Its like coming home from a hard day's work and finding your puppy has trashed up the house and made a horrible mess on the couch. You're furious but then you look at the puppy and you just find the anger leave you, You can't stay mad at it, look at it. The Room to me is like that.
The Room is so bafflingly incompetent and without a hint of self awareness I can't help but be captivated by it. Everything in the movie is done wrong. The acting is laughably bad, The story and characters make no sense, the cinematography is bland, the costumes look like they came from a charity shop (because most of them did, seriously look it up!) And I've seen school plays with better set design. But I don't find the Room's incompetence insulting, if anything I find it charming. I can't recommend this movie enough It is without a doubt the funniest tragedy ever, it is the greatest unintentional comedy and it is both the best and worst movie ever made. Tommy Wiseau, you've created a timeless classic and a true disasterpiece.
13 Reasons Why (2017)
13 reasons why 13 reasons why is the worst thing ever
13 reasons why sucks and here's 13 reasons why
1.Hannah Baker is an annoying whiny drama queen that always has to make everything about her. she over reacts to the tiniest little things
2. There are no points in the story that make you feel any kind of emotion, whilst the basic story is interesting at first it starts to become very predictable I had a great idea for the ending and thought for a moment that's where it was going but no.
3. Hannah Baker is not mentally ill, she was never bullied (or if she was there is no evidence of it) she is not depressed she is sad which are two very different things this is not a character with depression and this whole show is an insult to anyone who has or has ever suffered from a mental illness
4. the show has no point. no one learns anything from this. the message is what? we already know teenage suicide is a big problem and bullying as well as teenage depression we don't need this rubbish trying to force these issues down our throats especially as they're portrayed so badly
5. the bullying aspect of this is terrible. the only claim you could make is that Hannah was sexually harassed because of the list thing but they don't claim this they claim she was bullied which is not true she is teased when something happens that you would expect to be teased for.
6. Hannah Baker is terrible person who only thinks about herself and never considers other peoples feelings, she claims to care about Clayface but if that is true why would she put him on the tapes and even say he doesn't deserve to be on them. why would you put your 'friend' through all that emotional suffering? she says that he needed to hear or something but you could have told him some other way sent him a letter, left a note anything.
7. She does nothing to prevent her death. It's clear that she really wants to die so instead of just nutting up and doing it she says "i'm going to give life one last shot" but she doesn't, she goes to her School counselor not Samaritans or any other kind of helpline and instead of telling him anything she talks in riddles and says vague stuff that all teens say then when she tells him she was raped she acts like hes meant to do something but really unless she tells her who did it he can't really do anything. This was not seeking help this was a nasty and despicable attempt to bring your own decision onto somebody else.
8. the show has bad and wince-worthy writing
9. all the characters are annoying clichés and all the plot points are tired over used tropes.
10. Clayface claims to be socially awkward but he is not. as someone who can be socially awkward and who has met many people who are also socially awkward I can tell you Clayface is not. He is comfortable taking to complete strangers and people who most guys in his position would be intimidated by. He makes eye contact when he talks to people and he speaks clearly and calmly all the time. Also for someone who is meant to be a loser he sure has a lot of friends I mean even the popular kids seem to like him and he gets invited to all the cool parties. the only person he acts nervous around is Hannah who he has a crush on so that explains that, that isn't being socially awkward, that's how most people act when they're around someone they like.
11. Alex shoots himself in the head at the end of the series for absolutely no reason (it also undermines the whole 'point' of the show everyone says "we can't let this happen to another kid" well way to go because you just did. I think Alex killing himself can be seen to be because of all the stress surrounding the 13 tapes. so Hannah who is meant to be making people aware of serious issues like suicide and depression has caused someone to commit suicide. wow. Also Alex only shoots himself so they can have that cliffhanger to showing an unknown teen in the back of an ambulance (we're meant to think its clay) bu it's Alex and this information s giving to us at the end of the series by a random character. we don't feel the effects of it, we don't know really why he did it, we don't care and we don't even see it happen it's cheap.
12. Trigger warnings. some of the episodes have trigger warnings at the start I knew then straight away what I was in for and said to myself "oh no. Here we go" Come on, be like this is England and grow a pair they deal with the same serious subjects as this show and are shown in a way more brutal and graphic way and don't use trigger warnings, Oh and also you have an emotional response to them when they happen because you're invested in the story and care about the characters something that this piece of trash could never pull off.
13. the hallucinations and nightmares are way to overdone. they happen all the time. they're pointless and stupid and always happen in the exact same way. The only thing they acomplish is they make me thing the main character,Clayface is actually insane.
this show is awful. Watch Better call Saul instead
Suicide Squad (2016)
I gave it a chance and it spat in my face
I saw the trailers for this movie and I thought it looked like a confused mess that wasn't sure what it wanted to be. So already my expectations were pretty low, then the movie came out and certain movie review channels I watch gave it a very negative review. However, I decided to go in with an open mind and judge it for myself, and now after having seen it I can say that this movie has nothing and I mean absolutely nothing of value everything this movie does is wrong
This is one of the worst movies I have ever seen and it's pretty difficult to decide where to start but here we go. The Characters, there's about seven or eight of them and they are the worst part about this movie. Harley Quinn has been given a lot of praise but I honestly don't know why, I found her annoying, cringey and a pathetic representation of a classic character. Speaking about bad representations of great characters let's talk about Jared Leto's Joker. I thought he was embarrassing and it made me want to throw myself down the nearest set of stairs. like Harley Quinn he was cringeworthy and the worst thing ever and I'm glad he only got a small role in the film. Moving onto Will Smith played by Will Smith. I think Will Smith did a great job at playing Will Smith as he really captured all the charm and mannerisms of Will Smith. Captain Boomerang was the only character that was somewhat likable and he actually came close to having a funny scene. During the awful bar scene they're all told they can leave if they want and Captain Boomerang just walks out, this would be funny if he actually left and never showed up in the movie again but no they messed that up too by having him appear without any explanation in the very next scene. I'm not going to talk about any of the others as they were all undeveloped and boring.
This movie should be given an award for the worst cinematography since AvP 2. I honestly could not see half of what was happening because the movie was so darkly lit and dull. For a movie that's trying to be Guardians of the Galaxy you would think it would make sense to use a brighter more vibrant colour palette, but instead they chose to go with the ever popular coal and concrete colour palette...my favourite. This is what I was talking about when I said the movie didn't know what it wanted to be. It's like they were going to do a more serious movie like BvS but after BvS got bad reviews for being too dark and "not enough like Marvel" they said OK let's try and reshoot this movie to make it more fun and comedic so you have this really weird blend of brightly coloured logos and fonts with Borderlands styled intros for the characters with popular songs (I'll get to that in a minute) on a darkly lit grim and ugly looking film and it doesn't work at all.
Then you have the comedy and it's painful just really really painful, they tried to give Harley Quinn these Hilarious and quirky one-liners that fall flat every time, they made me embarrassed for me, embarrassed for Margot Robbie and embarrassed for everyone else in the movie theatre.
The story was boring, forgettable, predictable and slow. The pacing in this movie is atrocious the movie spends like the first half an hour just getting started and introducing the characters and it's done in such weird way that feels like i'm watching five different trailers followed by half of a movie.
Going back to this film's soundtrack. It's just a bunch of good songs put to scenes that don't fit it at all they play seven nation army, Without me and spirit in the sky all in the space of about two minutes, it is absolutely unbearable. It feels like they were trying to be Guardians of the Galaxy but in that movie the songs actually fit the tone and had a purpose outside of making people go, Oh hey! I like that song! wow this movie has such a great soundtrack I'm going to give it a ten out of ten because they played a song I like wow they're so talented what great filmmaking! A song should be used to leave you with a certain feeling or emotion I mean I shouldn't even have to explain this! This is basic stuff! If the only feeling a scene left me with was "why did that song sound out of place?" or "that sounded really bad." then you messed up! Redo the scene! Fix it! Do something! You can't just put good music or recognisable characters in famous costumes and clever little Easter eggs in your movie and think that it will make up for the: Bad audio, bad cinematography, bad acting, bad writing, bad special effects, bad lighting, bad story and some of the most appalling editing I have ever seen you can't expect people to think like that. People aren't that dumb...Oh wait.
I've gone on long enough about this piece of filth so I'm going to wrap it up. Believe me I could have gone on longer but just thinking about this film gives me a headache, I would recommend watching reviews/videos by: Ralph the movie maker, I hate everything, your movie sucks and folding ideas. They go way more in detail then I ever could with this. I'm just glad that now I can finally never think about this movie ever again. Oh and if you want to see a good suicide squad movie then I would recommend assault on Arkham.
Dragonfyre (2013)
the worst kind of bad
I know this is a movie that about 10 people will see but in my opinion that's far too many.
Upon seeing the trailer for this movie I thought to myself "wow that looks awful. But it also looks kind of fun." I was expecting a movie like the Room or Birdemic, A movie that's bad but enjoyable in how bad it is. I mean the trailer shows a Lord of the rings Orc pointing a gun at someone. it looked bad but the good kind of bad. So let me tell you know that scene is the only entertaining part of the film and its about 10 seconds long.
You may have noticed that i'm putting off actually reviewing this movie and that's because I don't know how to review this movie, I mean what can I say? I can say the acting is atrocious the effects are Asylum level bad and the whole thing looks like a low budget porno. Everything about this movie is wrong.
also as a side-note the poster is a huge lie there is no huge scale war in the movie it all boils down to like 13 people hitting each other with plastic weapons.
this is less of a review and more of a warning to anyone thinking of watching this movie. Orc wars is not fun or enjoyable in anyway it's just boring there is nothing in this movie of any worth or value.
never watch this movie no matter how drunk you are this movie is impossible to enjoy.
Mysterious Island (2005)
a bad movie
I could list all the reasons why this movie fails but honestly just watch the the trailer and you'l get a good idea of how bad this movie is.
I actually enjoyed this movie when I saw it a couple of years ago but in the same way I enjoy 'the Room' and 'Cool cat saves the kids'. this movie is laughably bad particularly the scenes with the pirates, so unless your with a bunch of friends who enjoy watching bad movies than I wouldn't recommended this movie. Honestly the only reason why i'm bothering to review this mess of a movie is to complete my profile checklist.
this is the kind of movie that gets given out for free with the Mail on Sunday.(that's a newspaper in England.) In fact that's actually where I found this movie so I think that tells you all you need to know. I'm going to end this review now and never think about this pirate,giant rat,praying mantis,Patrick Stewart,Volcano themed monstrosity ever again.