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Reviews
An Officer and a Murderer (2012)
nothing to see here...
Amateurish student-type production with one competent actor - Gary Cole. Story by numbers and lame dialogue, no attempt to build tension or suspense. IOW: A Canadian production.
You can always tell a Canadian production because they needlessly insert a bunch of female characters to crack the case that didn't exist in real life. Never fails. IF you truly have nothing better to do with your time like de-worm the cat, and you're unfamiliar with this story, then I suppose it's worth a watch.
Dateline or Fifth Estate or the actual Police interview are much more interesting - telling of the true events do not require embellishment. Take a pass on this.
Yellowstone (2018)
Should have called it Yellow Snow
Well, you got old man Costner faking a gravelly voice because he thinks it makes him sound tough. Of course that soft baby face looks more than a little ridiculous in a 10-gallon cowboy hat. The closest that face has ever come to inclement weather was the time his air conditioning broke in the Limo. But stay tuned - it gets even more ridiculous. They brand humans with a big "Y" who work on the ranch - something about loyalty? And they routinely murder people because they "know too much" about what goes on at the Yellowstone.
What does go on at the Yellowstone? - Nothing! They herd cows and ride horses with the backing of tedious musical interludes of cowboy music.
Apparently cowboyin' is risky business and seeing horses git roped gits you marked for death if you ever want to leave the ranch. Yee haw!
They call it "Going to the Train Station" which teenaged boys seem to find highly amusing.
So if you can suspend disbelief and suspend about 100 IQ points you might enjoy this.
If not the same writer has more of the same nonsense featuring 80 year old Harrison Ford faking a gravely voice to sound tough and gimping around like Festus with a load in his pants in a sequel or prequel or something.
These shows are not for adults, they're for teenaged boys who wear "Sons of Anarchy" jean jackets.
JFK: The Smoking Gun (2013)
garbage
Ignores James Tague hit by the underpass by a fragment. Ignores testimony of John Connolly AND his wife AND both secret service agents in front seat who testified the car was hit by a "hail of bullets" some from the front (Warren testimony). Ignore video evidence CLEARLY JFK was hit holding his throat emerging from behind the road sign when JC was not yet hit. Ignore video back and to the left CONCLUSIVELY indicating a shot from the front, left. Ignores testimony from Parkland Doctors - right, rear occipital portion of skull blown out. Ignores magic bullet shattering 5in of JC rib cage and bone in wrist to emerge nearly pristine.
Proceeds to make up some of the most ridiculous hogwash I've yet seen - bullets bouncing off the road, SS agent did the shooting, and a host of other preposterous nonsense.
It's all right there on the Zap film, just exactly as the closest eye witnesses testified.
Pass on this garbage.
Pride and Glory (2008)
terrible
Beyond moronic written by high school boys who just discovered the 'F' word and thought it would be cool and realistic to use it every sentence. Some good actors - don't know what they were thinking? Needed a pay check?
Horrible lazy writing. Don't waste your time.
The Underground Railroad (2021)
worth a watch
Historical? No. War? No. Biographical? No? Of course I knew there was no actual railroad underground - so just enjoy it for what it is - some good stories, very well done. All the white men are cruel monsters, but still it's very easy to imagine any of the stories could have taken place. A little slow at times, dwells too much on scenery. Lots of brutality, lots of cruelty and violence.
It's Roots with a female lead. And she is very good.
I liked it - 7 rating seems about right.
Monsters of Man (2020)
just skip this mess
Only thing worse than the acting was the writing - Bad writing is always given away by inserting 'the -f-word' into literally every sentence, you know, for emphasis.
Hopelessly inept, robots that can't shoot straight chasing a bunch of screeching idiots through the jungle.
Total fail on every level.
Letterkenny (2016)
not terrible
Ignore the gushing reviews, most are obviously written by friends of the show. No, small Canadian towns are NOT "just like this" and this show is certainly not "clever or quick witted" the mostly stupid alliterations and bad puns get boring real quick - you can't cover stupid by talking fast. Regardless, the show does have a certain understated moronic quality to it that might get a few laughs out of you - here and there.
Worth a try. 5/10.
Solos (2021)
Black Mirror fan fiction written by high school kids
With casting by the BET channel. First clue was they worked in a Trump smear in the first episode, but I carried on and attempted to get through them. They're all the same, boo hoo boring monologue, my regrets, my memories with a purely incidental dollop of sci-fi tossed in as background noise - this is a STUPID Man's Black Mirror as if they paid a bunch of middle schoolers to try an episode for creative writing class.
If this an example Prime is on the way out.
1/10 for the performances only.
Damages (2007)
More like Brain Damaged
Because you'd have to be brain damaged to watch this claptrap. Not a court room drama. In fact I don't really know what it's supposed to be other than a badly written soap opera, with a goofy plot and dumb dialogue that sounds like it was written by high school girls. It's GRRRL power too - you know the genre by now. All the men are stupid and corrupt, all the women are super competent and noble.
It's sure not The Practice or Ally McBeal.
Don't waste your time.
Jesse Stone: Lost in Paradise (2015)
Not unwatchable...
I've liked Tom ever since Magnum. He would have made a fine Indiana Jones as he has far more personal charisma than Ford - maybe one of the few you could easily imagining in different roles. Sadly the 'Stone' series is watchable, but rather lame, and they even keep repeating the same somewhat clever lines and plots as the last.
Too bad Tom never really got the outstanding writers he deserved. He might have soared as Indiana Jones, but can't rescue this series of mediocre turds.
As a rating I would give them an: okay.
Watchable but not really good.
Married with Children: It's a Bundyful Life Part 1 (1989)
five bowls a flushing?
My favorite Christmas show of all time. I watch it every year to remind myself how great TV can be sans silly political correctness. Sam Kinison kills, Ed O'Neil is great as usual, Katey Sagal is brilliant.
This surpasses "A Christmas Story" or "Lampoons Christmas Vacation" or anything else you care to name.
A masterpiece of television.
Fargo: Welcome to the Alternate Economy (2020)
Look what they done to my show, Ma...
Here we go - Fargo for the PC generation. I like Chris Rock's comedy, but he does not have the acting chops or the menacing demeanor to pull off a crime boss. What's next? - Steven Urkel as a Hit Man? Even worse than Rock is the pathetic acting of the psychopathic Italian brother who thinks widening his eyes makes him look crazy.
Of course, we've already got the prescient advisor to Rock inventing the credit card (false) in the 1950's - I'm guessing along with the invention of plastic?
A real shame to see such a great show swirl down the toilet bowl of PC.
Based on a true story. Sure it is.
Treasure Island (1990)
Pump me bilges and hoist the mizzen mast!
Excellent adaptation, great old pirate yarn moves along swiftly. I couldn't place the kid Jim - he looks so familiar. Credits at the end: OMG it's Christian Bale!
Very good movie, highly recommended for ye swabbies.
Keep a weather eye for Pirates, me bucko!
The X Files: Triangle (1998)
a masterpiece
From the 'DVD Extras' Chris Carter had this crazy idea he got from Hitchcock, to shoot a 44 minute episode in 4 takes of 11 minutes each - everybody thought he was nuts. Especially hard because if you blow a line or miss your mark, back to the beginning to start all over again, like a play. Throw in some German make it even more difficult, split screens as transitions rather than cuts, and long camera pans - son of a gun they pulled it off, and what a magnificent piece of TV film making it was. Beautiful dialogue, scenery, music, frenetic pace and the usual fab chemistry between the main characters make this episode a wonder to behold.
Ranks among the best episodes of television, or anything really, that I've ever seen. A masterwork by actors, directors, crew and producers at the peak of their power. Apparently they struggled with the German a bit, but I can't find a single flaw.
10/10
Line of Duty (2012)
Great show...
Just great. Another from the BBC, this is probably even better than "Spooks" (MI-6 or whatever in America?). Not a lot of stupid gunplay like in American copper dramas, or fights of any kind. Just great suspense and great writing. Good enough for me, I generally shut bad writing off within about two minutes. No tolerance for stupid writing.
This is very well done. About the internal investigation unit that looks into "bent coppers" (crooked cops)
The kiddies might not like the lack of stupid action gunplay, but adults will appreciate the quality of this drama.