Disarmed-Doll-Parts Reviews

Kanyini (2006)

Pretentious, biased and boring, a documentary that documents opinion as fact,

[1/10 · 20 August 2007]

An aboriginal elder recounts his youth and how the 'white man' stole his land. KANYINI is a one-sided and biased documentary, completely ignoring the 'two sides to every story' motto, and has an attitude that every white person should be sorry for the early settlers taking the land. What this 'wise' elder is forgetting is that this is what conquering nations DO; is anyone saying sorry to the Inuits? Get over it and enough with the reverse racism.

Technically this film is almost flawless, it's a pity its soul is bitter and twisted, tainted with contempt for an entire race, contradicting what the Aborigines are trying to do. 1/10

The Stendhal Syndrome (1996)

Argento's vicious return to form, one of his most atmospheric and unsettling from start to finish,

[7/10 · 17 August 2007]

Argento has been cursed with a number of duds in recent years. 'Two Evil Eyes', 'The Phantom of the Opera', 'Sleepless', 'The Card Player' and one of the worst MASTERS OF HORROR episodes yet 'Jenifer'. However, the beautiful, poignant 'The Stendhal Syndrome' is an extremely well crafted rose between a number of poisonous thorns. It sees a return to the atmospheric dream-like charm of his earlier films like 'Phenomena' and 'Suspiria', but adopting his more recent sadism (it's always there, just a different style in his newer films) that gave slight high points in his otherwise dull modern films. After two poorly reviewed films ('Trauma' and 'Two Evil Eyes') Argento has finally done it right.

The film stars his daughter, Asia (whose interesting relationship with Dario adds to the intriguing and off-beat persona he puts out), as Anna, a beautiful police detective in Rome. When she is targeted by the serial killer she is hunting, she is raped and beaten and so leads Argento's best character study and one of the most intense of his films to date. Rather than following the madman as he offs prostitutes and impressionable young women through Italy (the film lightly touches on it, but the more left to the imagination the better), the film follows Anna as she loses grip on reality and develops a strange disease in which she can ever paintings in her mind and they help solve the case, called the Stendhal Syndrome. As the film goes on the attacks on Anna become more and more vicious, and the final climatic ending is one of Argento's best.

Asia delivers a interesting performance, to say it is good is to stretch the truth, but it is suited to the role and you can tell she has a lot of acting talent. All the other performances are rather flat, but as with all of Agento's films the performances aren't what really matter. The cinematography is bland, but as with Asia's performance suits the film better than if it were Technicolor. The tension and music is amazing, the film devotes itself to really unsettling you, rather than just entertaining you like other recent Argento's. 'The Stendhal Syndrome' is probably the most violent and disturbing I've seen the man go, the rape and murder scenes are gratuitously sadistic and the scenes where Anna is raped are bordering on exploitation.

Overall 'The Stendhal Syndrome' is a fantastic return to form fr Argento, and I hope 'The Third Mother' is anywhere near as well-crafted as this.

7/10

Birth (2004)

A pretentious mess of wasted talent, BIRTH fails most at where it tried hardest,

[4/10 · 11 August 2007]

Nicole Kidman chooses obscure, off-beat roles, such as DOGVILLE and EYES WIDE SHUT, quite regularly, and the daring nature of her characters and decisions often pull off making her one of the boldest and most successful actresses working today. BIRTH is not an example of a great Nicole Kidman film.

Great performances, yes and an AMAZING supporting cast (Lauren Bacall, Danny Huston, Peter Stomare, Anne Heche etc.), but BIRTH fails where it tries hardest; to make you think. Rather than throw your mind into obscurity like MULHOLLAND DR., or use controversial and confronting situations from a different perspective that has you thinking for days like MONSTER, BIRTH is a forgettable fare with one of the most ridiculous premises ever encountered.

A grieving widow, Anna (Kidman), is set to re-marry a temperamental businessman Joseph (Huston), until a 10 year old boy (Cameron Bright) claims to be her late husband reincarnated. Anna goes spiralling down a road of insanity, until we realise she is just a gross personality disorder who needs to be locked away in a mental institution. Whether the child is Sean or not is never explained, but Anna still goes through an unnatural affection for him that causes worry for her mother (Lauren Bacall).

BIRTH has so much talent, every performance is dynamite, and such a harrowing and serious atmosphere. However, it has one of the most ridiculous premises ever put to celluloid, and takes it self so seriously it would be laughable if it weren't so boring.

I don't recommend BIRTH to anyone other than Kidman fans and those who enjoy down-beat, controversial indy films.

4/10.

Desperate Living (1977)

A monstrous lesbian fairytale of political corruption!

[10/10 · 9 June 2007]

John Waters disgusted the world in 1972 with the holy grail of trash PINK FLAMINGOS, starring the voluptuous Divine, and continued to offend and entertain two years later with FEMALE TROUBLE. When the final climatic piece of his trash trio DESPERATE LIVING came to pass, it was not as widely accepted as it was missing his muse Divine, instead casting resident villain Mink Stole (the fire crotched Connie Marble in PINK FLAMINGOS and ungrateful illegitimate delinquent child Taffy Davenport in FEMALE TROUBLE) as the lead character, neurotic and paranoid housewife Peggy Gravel. While Stole doesn't possess the outrageous act and memorable costume and attitude of the late Divine, her portrayal of Gravel was equally lively and insane as Divine's roles.

Peggy Gravel (Mink Stole) is an abusive housewife fresh out of the sanitarium after suffering from EXTREME paranoia and psychotic breakdowns. When her sweet-natured husband Bosley (George Stover) tries to medicate her after a round of abuse at her two innocent children, she and her obese black maid Grizelda (Jean Hill) kill him and go on the run from the law. After a narrow escape from a perverted motorcycle cop, they seek refuge in a scummy town for runaways called Mortville. The runaway partners in crime stay with lesbian lovers Mole (Susan Lowe) and Muffy (Liz Renay), owners of a boarding house, Mole being a woman trapped in a mans body, and Muffy as the most beautiful woman in Mortville. The sleazy town is run by kinky and sadistic Queen Carlotta (Edith Massey), a fascist leader whose punishment for ANY crime is death by firing squad. When her wayward daughter Princess Coo-Coo (Mary Vivian Pierce) runs off with a nudist garbage man, all hell breaks loose.

DESPERATE LIVING is my favourite John Waters film, and one of my favourite films period. I'm relatively new to Waters, but his outrageous sense of humor and strong satirical slander is particularly evident in DESPERATE LIVING. He mocks the fascist political view, with paintings of Hitler and Idi Armin lining Queen Carlotta's walls, and the most trivial things being contraband (such as newspapers etc.). It is also a strong feminist film, which copped a lot of flack in its release as it was made by a man! And the performances are golden, Mink Stole makes the opening scene magical, Jean Hill is the perfect addition to the Dreamlanders as she goes all-out, and Edith Massey is adorable and strong as always. Mary Vivian Pierce is also delightful, and I don't know if this was intentional, but bears a strong resemblance to Bette Davis' Baby Jane Hudson from WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE.

DESPERTE LIVING is one of the funniest films I've ever seen, the dialogue is fantastic. There are charming and original costumes, and the set design of the town and Queen Carlotta's kingdom is great.

While John Waters' DVD commentary is hilarious as usual, Liz Renay contributes a less insightful, but still relatively entertaining accompaniment. You could tell she really enjoyed working with John, and she looked divine (no pun intended) for her age (51 at the time). R.I.P. Liz, while your contribution to the commentary was slight, your energetic performance will live on in my DVD player.

Overall, DESPERATE LIVING is one for fans of trash and Waters alike, but with a strong political satire. 10/10, don't take the humor too seriously or you will want Waters castrated.

Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990 TV Movie)

The first two sequels were much better than I expected, the third, not so much...

[3/10 · 6 June 2007]

Basically the story of PSYCHO IV: THE BEGINNING is a Oprah-like talk back radio host (CCH Pounder) is discussing matricide with psychiatrist Dr Leo Richmond (Warren Frost) when anonymous caller 'Ed', who is obviously notorious screen killer Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) to tell his life story and threaten to kill again. The film is incredibly predictable and vastly entertaining up until the end, and some of the things Norman's mother did to him were terrifying.

The strongest thing this film has going for it is the great talents of Olivia Hussey as Norman's mother, and Anthony Perkins as Norman. While they never really have any screen time together, they still have a strange sort of chemistry that goes beyond the screen and sort of mould the film into what it is. Every scene one of them isn't in is boring and redundant and should have been left on the cutting room floor.

The biggest problem this film has is the ending. The film should have ended when Norman hung up the phone on Fran, but Mick Garris, creator of MASTERS OF HORROR, had to go right ahead and tie and tie the film up. With an open ending like that it could really strike terror in the film, but what Norman did was boring and over-Hollywood.

Still, this is not the worst film in the series as barely anything touches PSYCHO '98 as one of the worst films EVER. 4/10.

Masters of Horror: Pelts (2006) Season 2, Episode 6

"I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed..."

[7/10 · 13 May 2007]

Dario Argento is my all-time favourite director. PHENOMENA, TENEBRE, INFERNO and SUSPIRIA all rank on my top 20 horror films of all-time, and I own all of his films available in Australia. So when I viewed his very disappointing Masters of Horror entry JENIFER, I decided not to expect much from PELTS. Thankfully, my low expectations were more than met with this frantic and exciting Masters of Horror episode, restoring my faith in the series after JENIFER, HAECKEL'S TALE, DANCE OF THE DEAD and the abysmal CHOCOLATE bombed out and ruined the credibility IMPRINT, CIGARETTE BURNS and SICK GIRL had built.

PELTS follows a slimy, bitter fur trader (Meat Loaf) who is hopelessly in love with a lesbian stripper (Ellen Ewusie). When a sadistic poacher (John Saxon, one of the main reasons I saw this) sells him some mesmerising raccoon pelts, his obsession turns to them and he decides the only way to win the object of his affection is to make her the ultimate coat. But obsession can turn to insanity...

PELTS is moral-heavy, but if you ignore those themes it is a simple supernatural revenge film, with a twist. PELTS is gory, fast paced, creepy, unnerving and occasionally hilarious, and the film has an Argento vibe all over it. The acting is fair, but I do think the masters of Horror episodes are too focused on people obsessing.

Overall a solid entry to the series and to the horror genre on a whole. 7/10.

Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

The infamous account of a serial killer

[7/10 · 24 April 2007]

John MacNaughton's infamous account of a serial killer, loosely inspired by confessed killer Henry Lee Lucas, is a sleazy and realistic film that hits you close to home. Few films have had the guts to do what HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER did, which is account the serial killer (Michael Rooker) who has a taste for women, stalking and murdering them, particularly hookers as they are easy prey. For him the thrill is not in the hunt, but in the kill, as he relishes in the deaths of basically anyone. When his flat mate expresses an interest in Henry's sadistic hobby, Henry eagerly shows him the ways of a serial killer. He teaches Otis (Tom Towles) how to kill, cover yourself and kill again, and Otis too learns of the adrenaline rush of snapping someones neck with your bare hands. While doing all of this, Henry also seduces Otis' battered and bruised sister Becky (Tracy Arnold), fresh out of an abusive marriage. Becky finds solace in our protagonist, without a clue of his extra curricular activities.

The basic story is of Henry and Otis killing people, sometimes to get what they want, usually just for fun. McNaughton is very talented, he creates an eerie and disturbing atmosphere with the slow lingering shots of Henry's victims rather than showing their murders. Ken Hale, Steven A. Jones and Robert McNaughton's creepy score was very effective, although misplaced at times which made the scenes seem cheesy. But when used at the right times the score was fantastic. The overall atmosphere of the film was very terrifying, every character had a black cloud over their head, their demise was right around the corner. There was a scene where henry was watching a woman pack her groceries, and when she pulled out of the car park her followed her. Doesn't sound that creepy, but the mix of Rooker's expression, Macnaughton's direction and the terrifying musical score made that scene go down as one of the most terrifying in film history.

The acting was very very good. Michael Rooker was perfect as the dull killer, if you look closer you see the subtle hints of what he does, but unless you see him do it you'd never guess what Henry did with his free time. Tom Towles was also very good as the 'apprentice killer', and sometimes I was more scared of him than I was of Henry. Tracy Arnold didn't live up to Rooker and Towle's standard, but she did do well.

The home invasion scene was well done, but didn't live up to the hype. The ending was great, very unexpected but definitely not out of character for Henry. I did think some of this film was creepy, but I'd heard a lot about it's infamy and it didn't live up to its standard like most 'disturbing' films I hear about, such as LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE. Some scenes from these films make me squirm, but none of them leave a mark.

Overall a great character study of a serial killer. Not one for the kiddies, and if you don't like horror films I'd stay away. 8/10

Carrie (1976)

Outstanding horror/teen drama with a fantastic 70's atmosphere.

[8/10 · 12 April 2007]

Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) is a misunderstood young high schooler with a freakishly obsessive Catholic mother (an amazing performance by Piper Laurie) who borders on Neo-Nazi. She is horribly bullied at her high school, especially by the sadistic Chris Hargenson (Nancy Allen), and basically ignored by every person who isn't putting her down. So when token nice girl Sue Snell (Amy Irving) decides she wants to build Carrie's confidence by giving up her place at the prom and telling her kind hearted jock boyfriend Tommy Ross (William Katt) to invite Carrie, Carrie's mentor Miss Collins (Betty Buckley) smells trouble. Sue promises all is well and Tommy ad Carrie run along to the prom. But when Chris and her dimwitted boyfriend Billy (John Travolta's second role) devise a horrible and humiliating prank, they don't take into account what has manifested inside of Carrie after all those years of torment, and how it will effect them in the films horrifying and very memorable climax.

Brian De Palma's famous horror film, adapted from Stephen King's chilling novel, is often noted as the ultimate in teenage revenge films. De Palma used his distinctive style to make a chilling and original horror film that really is the best example of 1970's horror, the style, music, clothes, acting, dialogue and pretty much everything in the film is like a time-warp. The editing very original and you can tell the makers of the film enjoyed creating it.

The acting is very fine, some of the best in any horror film out there. Sissy Spacek is great as the sympathetic freak, but at times you wanna slap her, she's so incredibly pathetic. Like when she's screaming about her period, running around nude. I can understand that she didn't realise what was happening, but running around like a lunatic, and bleeding on people through your vagina isn't gonna inspire sympathy from them. But since I read the book, I understand that was the intention. Piper Lurie was absolutely fantastic as the looney mother, and all the other performances were pretty passable. I have to mention PJ Soles. Her character was so awesome, I'd even go as far a to say that she was one of the (many) highlights of the film. Her character added a quirky charm the film that couldn't be matched by anybody else.

Some of the themes explored was Carrie's journey into adulthood, shown through the way she learnt to control her powers and discovering different parts of her body and different things she can do, most obviously her first period and her telekinesis.

Overall, CARRIE is an outstanding horror/drama. Any horror fan, or general film fan should check it out. 9/10

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

Gory, nasty, back to basics 70's style film-making!

[7/10 · 9 April 2007]

Back in 03, horror remakes weren't the epidemic that they are now, so I assume folks were a lot more welcome to the idea of TEXA$ CHAIN SAW MASSACRE being remade. I never really was a big fan of the remake, but I loved the original so decided to give this one a checkout. I was surprised by the nasty, gory, exploitative nature of this film, I thought nowadays brutality was left to the French and musician turned directors. Jonathan Liebesman really surprised me and I look forward to see what this man can do next.

Generally suspense and brutality is kept separate in modern day American mainstream horror films, the exceptions being Rob Zombie's 70's throwback masterpiece THE DEVIL'S REJECTS, and Frenchie Alexandre Aja's has-its-moments remake THE HILLS HAVE EYES. So it was refreshing to see such a mainstream character like Leatherface go back to the realistic brutality and sadism that we hadn't seen the masked man create since way back in 1974. In a Micahel Bay film no less.

So this follows the creation of our favourite chainsaw wielding mass murdering cannibalistic retard Leatherface, from when his obese mother gave birth to him in an abattoir, to when he first created his trademark mask. It also follows the four unlucky teens who first got in his way, four unbelievably attractive youngsters who fall prey to the masked madmen for the very first time.

I think giving Leatherface a half arsed reason to kill like he was bullied for having scabby skin was a real let-down, it takes away a lot of the mystery and mythology behind him. And giving him a name (a name like 'Thomas Hewitt' no less) is just downright irresponsible and immoral. That's probably the only beef I have with this otherwise excellent horror thriller.

Also the death scenes were very cool and climatic, and it was good to not see so much of that stupid MTV editing that plagued the first film.

Overall a very good try, the best Leatherface film since the first sequel in 1986 Bill Moseley and Dennis Hopper. 7/10.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

What a remake should be.

[8/10 · 17 March 2007]

I loved NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD '68. It' one of the creepiest, most atmospheric and foreboding tales of terror I've ever seen. I also loved DAY OF THE DEAD '85, for the same reasons. I didn't love DAWN OF THE DEAD '78. It had little atmosphere and terrible special effects. The script was god-awful and although it had that unique 70's drive in charm, similar to THE HILLS HAVE EYES '77 and CARRIE '76, it really was a bit of a disappointment. Don't get me wrong, I did like it, and enjoyed watching it. I also got the "we-are-all-mindless-consumers" social commentary surrounding the film. But whenever I watched it I found myself wanting more. More atmosphere, more gore, more entertainment.

Enter James Gunn, Troma screenwriter and horror fan. He wrote two of the most recognisable Troma films; TROMEO AND JULIET and TERROR FIRMER. With the new remake craze Hollywood is on, Gunn decide he wants to write a proper script before some hack writer gets a hold of DAWN OF THE DEAD rights. He writes an incredible, action packed screenplay, and with the combined talent of Zack Snyder directing, they set out and make the best remake since THE FLY '86, and in doing so slightly surpass the original in quality.

Instead of a heavy handed political satire with crappy make up and terrible pacing, DAWN OF THE DEAD '04 is an action packed barrel of gore, extremely dark humor, witty dialogue and creative scenes. It seems like Gunn wanted to put as much original situations as he could with a cast of 16 characters. When you really think about it, Gunn took a lot away from his experiences with Troma, and it shines through with the outrageous situations he puts these people in. Not many other horror remakes would put so much at risk with how different this is from the original, and I guess thats why not many other remakes are very well respected.

The makeup effects, gore and special effects in this film were of a very very high standard. And the zombies themselves were great. An obese elderly zombie woman, a zombie childbirth, a Chinese jogging zombie, a paraplegic zombie, and various celebrity look-a-like zombies, such as Jay Leno, Burt Reynolds and Rosie O'Donnell. The deaths were also awesomely creative, the scene where the old truck driving lady finds Mekhi Phifer and his "family" is masterful.

Overall DAWN OF THE DEAD is a great film that does something most remakes don't; it surpasses the original. One of my favourite films, 8/10.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

Moments of sheer brilliance are ruined by moments of pure stupidity.

[7/10 · 16 March 2007]

This comment contains very mild spoilers Let's start off by saying that although I thoroughly enjoyed Alexandre Aja's remake of Wes Craven's groundbreaking shocker THE HILLS HAVE EYES, most of what I will focus on in this review is comparing the original to the remake, and to Aja's other film HIGH TENSION.

THE HILLS HAVE EYES starts off with a laughably bad opening scene. I dunno if Aja intended laughs with this part, but there's something comical about a 7 foot deformed Neanderthal mutant spinning an astronaut around with a pick-axe in the middle of the desert. Is it just me? Now that is an example of one incredibly dumb scenes.

After that we are treated to an awesome credits, with a cool 50s song and footage of deformities and nuclear explosions. I have to give props to modern horror films, the opening credits always deliver something interesting.

Following the credits we meet an old gas station owner packing up his store. Enter a nice typical all-American god fearing family; the Carters. Father (Big Bob Carter), mother (Ethel Carter), eldest daughter (Lynn Carter), eldest daughters daughter (Catherine) and husband (Doug), younger daughter (Brenda Carter), son (Bobby Carter) and two faithful dogs (Beauty and Beast). The family are shown the off-road route by the gas station owner and told they can take the back way to say a few hours drive.

The gas station owner was poorly acted. In the original, John Steadman portrayed the disturbed old man with a campy, charismatic and frantic charm about him. It seemed as though Tom Bower just wanted to get out of the role as quickly as possible, and his performance was rushed and hollow.

When the family station wagon and Winnebago crash off the road, the Carters are stranded in the middle of the desert. Big Bob pulls out two guns, gives one to his son Bobby and keeps one for himself, and Doug and Big Bob head off in different directions looking for some help. When are clan of cannibalistic mutants attack the family in their Winnebago, the resulting film could have been a horror fans wet-dream. Rape, cannibalism, a cool setting, cool music, dismemberment, mutants, homage to famous films, hot young things, home invasions, revenge, sadism, everything a fan could hope for. But THHE is missing something. The mutants have no personality, unlike in the original, when the mutants had ALL the personality. They're not recognizable, and the scenes are not suspenseful. Aja goes all out for shocks and jump scares, where as Craven went for suspense and little violence. Intead of Brendas blood curdling screams terrifying you, it was that a mutant was sticking his meat in her. Instead of Lynns fight for the life of her child, she's getting her breast milk drunk. Instead of a social commentary on who the real evil is and which family rally is more civilized, Aja ditches that and goes for a pretty poorly done kill-the-monster-you-created angle.

One of my favourite things about this film were the kills were very well done, the rape scene was pretty suspenseful (I loved the rock musical score), Big Bobs capture was also suspenseful, and the best part was how much Doug was willing to do for the life of Catherine. There was also a cool homage to one o my favourites, TRUE ROMANCE, where Doug, clearly defeated, sticks an ice pick through a mutants foot and resourcefully gets the better of him.

The acting was good, I liked the casting of Emile De Ravin as Brenda and Vinessa Shaw as Lynn. And Aja's style was clearly evident, in comparison to HIGH TENSION. Like the time inconsistencies and graphic murder, and the cool camera work he does. Little heavy on the CGI when it came to the mutants but they still looked good.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed THE HILLS HAVE EYES, I've probably seen it about 5 times now. But it fails in comparison to the original and Aja's other film HIGH TENSION. Better than most of the recent crop of remakes.

7/10.

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

What a terrible film...

[3/10 · 3 February 2007]

I'm a big horror movie fan, so when I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER is claimed to be the ultimate in horror, or even top ten horrors of the nineties, I tend to dry-heave. This film is on of the most boring, stupid, generic and incoherent slashers I've ever seen. I'm not a big slasher fan, sure I love the HALLOWEENs, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET's, BLACK Christmas is in my top five horrors of all-time, but generally slashers annoy me. The characters are one-dimensional and contrived, the acting is terrible, there's hardly any tension, and IKWYDLS is all that, with a crappy title.

When going into IKWYDLS, think of it like this. The plot of PROM NIGHT, the atmosphere (or lack of) of SCREAM, the stupidity of MY BLOODY VALENTINE, and the creativity of a bar of soap. Jennifer love Hewitt's character Julie manages to be the most annoying, self-involved character in a slasher I've ever had the misfortune of watching. She plods along with her massive ass in skin-tight trackies, whines about how everyone is terrible except her, and gets people murdered. Freddy Prinze Junior's Ray is just as annoying and obsessed with Julie, almost as much as Julie herself is.

One thing this movie has going for it is Sarah Michelle Gellar, and her terrific and easy to relate to character Helen is the redeeming quality of the film, bumping the score up to a 3/10. Helen reminds me of BLACK Christmas' Barb, played by the talented Margot Kidder. Now that I mention it, Sarah Michelle Gellar is shaping up to be a young Margot Kidder, BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER proved Gellar's talents, let's just hope she starts choosing some better roles than crappy horror remakes, rip-offs and sequels. Helen's chase scene in the film had me on the edge of my seat, screaming at her to get away, even though I knew she wouldn't That is a good thing for this movie, the feeling of dread Helen felt really shone through to me, and hopefully the rest of the audiences.

It's a pity selfless Helen was the only person in the entire film that was likable. Barry, Helen's macho boyfriend played by the talented Ryan Phillipe, was also incredibly unlikeable, but I think hack screenwriter Kevin Williamson (SCREAM, THE FACULTY) intended that. Helen's sister Elsa was a bitch, but so unrealistically nasty. Like she really really hated Helen, not just being a bitchy sister. I'm sure if Elsa was the one to find Helen's frozen body, she'd react just like Julie did: "I'm scared for my life, don't care about Helen's". Missy the hillbilly loner, played by Anne Heche was annoying, and totally unnecessary, but I guess she extended the running time.

The script was awful. Absolutely dreadful. Kevin Williamson ditches the snappy references to other slasher (well somewhat) and replaces them with terrible lines like "Is the dried-out, washed-up has-been having a moment?" from Elsa to Helen (told you she was a nasty hoe) and "Guys... Hi... I'm on sexist overload as it is, kill the commentary." from Julie. Gee Julie, don't be happy your best friend is pursuing her dream!! That would be way too selfless, as if you're not selfless enough! In closing, With a few dashes of good, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER is a sub-standard slasher. If you wanna see a great slasher, check out BLACK Christmas, HALOWEEN and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME. If you want a movie that you will be screaming at the TV not telling the people to run from harms way, but straight to the killer as they're so annoying, check out I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER.

3/10

Masters of Horror: Imprint (2006) Season 1, Episode 13

Miike really is a master of his craft

[9/10 · 6 January 2007]

Takashi Miike is slowly making his way into my favourite directors list, accompanied by the likes of Dario Argento and David Cronenberg. I've seen three of his movies (ONE MISSED CALL, AUDITION and ICHI THE KILLER), plus BOX from THREE... EXTREMES, and they've all been modern day horror cinema classics (If you count ICHI THE KILLER as horror). So can this man do no wrong? Well it's beginning to look that way.

But when it comes to violence, Miike is probably on of the most over-hyped directors around. Maybe I need to see more of his movies, but if AUDITION and ICHI THE KILLER are two of the most sick, depraved, violent and disturbing movies ever to be made I am seriously desensitized and probably need professional help, because ICHI THE KILLER had me in stitches, and the scariest part of AUDITION was the idea behind it, not the torture scenes. That's not to say his movies aren't scary, just not as scary and violent as the general public make out (maybe DEAD OR ALIVE and VISITOR Q will sway my opinion). His movies still make me squirm, just not as much as I'd like to...

But IMPRINT follows a young man (played dreadfully by Billy Drago) searching for his lost love Komomo (Michie Ito, giving a chilling performance). He finds himself in a brothel on an island in a location never known to us (somewhere in Japan). While there he hires a deformed prostitute to spend the night with. When she tells him that Komomo did indeed work there and killed herself he looses it, and refuses to believe her. As he gets deeper into the truth the whores past is revealed and what really happened to Komomo is shown when the prostitute shows her true colours.

IMPRINT is a beautiful film, and with the glaring exception of Billy Drago (who almost Drago-s the whole movie down) the performances are flawless. The story is original, and the gore scenes made me the most squeamish I'd been since the castration in HARD CANDY.

Highly recommended for horror fans, but maybe see some other Miike films before you pop this one in, it can get a bit confusing and is very quirky. 9/10.