district-23105 Reviews

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Evil Dread(ful)

[3/10 · 9 November 2023]

Oof, so much potential squandered on what's practically a family drama. It's got tonnes of blood, but where's the story.

Didn't care about any of the family, was just waiting for them to die.

It was all just one big incoherent mess of ideas wrapped up in a lot of blood.

If failed on all levels, even as a horror movie (it wasn't scary or interesting and had none of the charm of the original movies, or the TV series).

I kept asking myself: have the writers seen the original movies -t then imagine my surprise when Raimi was the director.

Overall, toothless, charmless, and pointless movie buoyed on the back of a once great movie series.

Host (II) (2020)

Scared the Bejeesus out of Us!

[9/10 · 10 October 2023]

Host is a scarily effective movie. If you want jump scares, this is the place. It's dark, it's sinister, and it's just all around a great movie.

I'm overlooking many of its flaws because it was a movie made in lockdown, but it's way better than the sum of its parts.

Rob Savage did a great job here (far better than his more recent movies, which suffered from a bloated run-time and pointless character "development").

And talking of run-time, it's less than an hour long, which is a hell of a lot of jump scares. It's like a long roller-coaster ride.

Sure it's silly in places, but you can pull apart most horror movies.

And the criticisms on here are that the characters would just walk away. BUT, if anyone did that in ANY horror movie, we'd never have any horror movies. So you have to accept that the characters are going to open the closet or walk down a dark corridor, even though the lights are out.

And that's it. As a horror movie, it's short and sweet, and filled with the scares. Easily one of my favourite halloween horror movies.

Star Trek: Picard: Surrender (2023) Season 3, Episode 8

Wonderful to see Deanna back

[8/10 · 7 April 2023]

Like all of Picard season 3, it's like a completely different show to the utterly dreadful seasons 1 and 2.

And while it's magical to have the crew back together, the issues of previous seasons still plagues it. Yes, it's risen from the ashes of every Trek show devised by showrunner, Alex Kurtzman, but it still has lingering issues that annoy.

Firstly, everything is SO DARK. Really, how do they see anything on ships made where the floor is black? We get it, new Trek is edgy. Well done Alex, you're a revolutionary. #notafan.

But, set design aside, the fault in this episode is again, the scripts. We are 8 episodes in and we STILL know NOTHING about Jack. We were teased at the end of episode 7 by Vadic who said "It's time to find out who you really are".

We've been teased with the door so many times. And yet it's still unopened!

It actually rankles that the show is moving at such a snail's pace that we have two precious episodes left and none of the answers. Literally not one.

I know most of us would watch the Next Gen crew read from the phone book. And it's wonderful to see them back around the ready room table. But the story has to give us something, and we've slogged through 8 episodes with very little reward (I'm ignoring the nostalgia for a moment). We don't know anything about Jack, or why they took Picard's body, or why quite literally no one likes Picard's "Chateau Picard" wine :D

Ultimately, it's a heartwarming bowl of member berries as the TNG crew are back, but underneath that is a hollow story that is edging us toward a grand finale, but with just two episodes left, will they fluff the ending by overstuffing it with all the things they could have resolved episodes ago?

This is a VAST improvement on previous seasons (and it deserves its own rating as it's so different from seasons 1 and 2) but it's still bogged down with so much padding. You could have cut out two episodes of posturing and you'd still have a fantastic show.

Gripes aside, this has been a wonderful series and by far the best of new Trek (but *still* someone cries nearly every episode).

I guess it's all down to the final two now...

Hellraiser (2022)

We'll Tear Your Script Apart

[3/10 · 25 October 2022]

Hellraiser 2022 is a poor movie at best. It's a bunch of pointless tropes clumsily hammered into a continuation of the Hellraiser brand.

As per usual, the overly obvious script was spawned by the atrocious, David S Goyer, AKA the Destroyer of Brands.

HOW does this man keep getting work? He knows no subtlety or sophistication. His scripts are just awful, and this is no exception. If you analyse any part of the script, it's just BAD. Really, go do it.

Utterly unlikeable characters, there's nothing to relate to, here. An addict in recovery - well that sure is fascinating, David! And they all make such bizarre choices. Dialogue is as per usual, awful.

But it's not all on Goyer's shoulders. The new Cenobites are not a patch on the originals, and the art design is just odd. They don't feel scary although everything in the movie is demanding that you be scared of them.

The music is still excellent, the whole 2 hours feels overly long and missing anything of depth or substance.

There's no emotional connection so you don't care about any of them. And the main character's choices are just bizarre, especially in the third act.

In closing, there are a few scraps here that make H2022 palatable, but it's a far cry from the greatness of the original two movies. It's just another pointless remake that could have benefitted from a competent writer that didn't rely on the most obvious tropes to hammer home the same tired points.

3/10. Must do better.

The Munsters (2022)

Dead in about Every Possible Way!

[2/10 · 27 September 2022]

Let's be clear from the very start, The Munsters movie is bad. And I don't mean bad in a good way. It's truly terrible. Awful. Unwatchable (even for nostalgia value).

I often wonder who green-lights and gives over millions of dollars to these projects, but whoever did this had obviously had their brain replaced with that of a corpse, because it's one bad idea after another.

It's a charmless, soulless remake of a TV show which should have been left on the cutting-room floor. It's really REALLY that bad.

It did make me laugh in places, but it is quite literally wrong in every single possible way. It feels as though not one person involved in this process had watched the original show, for it has none of the charm or wit, and it's clear there's no one around to say NO to Rob Zombie. WHY was HE given THIS project? He's so clearly utterly unsuited to it. It almost feels like a tax write-off.

Predictably, the script is the bad guy here (which is great as there's no discernible villains in the movie or, in fact, any actual obstacles. It's just one set piece after another.

The origin story is an interesting, if unnecessary one, and it's very sexual and suggestive, which might be great for a Carry On Movie, which this is not. Here, the jokes (as few as they are) stand out like a broken thumb.

AT 1:49, The movie is too long and just ends without any satisfying climax (or, in fact, an unsatisfying climax).

Sheri Moon is great as Lily and the cast is generally great (McCoy is always excellent) but it's just so drab. The sets are often impressive, BUT it's all so lifeless.

In closing, if you're looking for a The Munsters remake, I'd recommend watching the original series, because this is a pointless cash-grab with no redeeming features (apart from the cast, who are charming, but woefully let down by the truly horrendous script).

Perhaps the movie is worth watching as a "How NOT to make a decent movie" or you can have it on in the background as Halloween movie without any bite.

She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)

I do understand the hate, but...

[8/10 · 21 September 2022]

She-Hulk is a completely different take on the Marvel universe. It's all based around a woman's perspective, and it's FUNNY.

I've laughed more at the first two episodes than any other Marvel show. It's just silly fun.

I think people "hating is" are taking it too seriously. It's like a cross between Sex and the City, Ally McBeal, and Marvel.

And it's a great combination. Sure, I can tell why so many are upset (it doesn't follow the traditional formula) but it's something new and it's working *at least it is for me*

The characters are great, the acting and scripts are well above average. What's NOT to like?

I'm sure this will get majorly downvoted, but, so far, this is a good show!

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Why is this rated lower than Doctor Strange 2

[6/10 · 24 July 2022]

Sure. Thor: Love and Thunder is a mixed bag. The jokes are weak and the story is... lacking.

BUT, it's still a hell of a lot more rounded than Doctor Strange 2.

Regardless of the issues, I enjoyed this movie. There was no point in Jane Foster being in it, and it was all just too self-congratulatory for me. Taika is a good director - and I know this is like going to the Cheesecake Factory and saying something is "too cheesecakey" - but he's too Taika Waititi and needs a bit of someone / some other director to tone down his more obvious traits.

The story was dumb and made little sense, and was SOOO contrived. These things would fail any decent screenwriting course for being filled with ridiculous plot holes and contrivances. Not great.

But still way better than Doctor Strange 2.

Duncanville (2020–2022)

Good, but not good enough

[6/10 · 4 July 2022]

With the recent cancellation of Duncanville, I wanted to review the show I've watched for three seasons.

Duncan has some good ideas, but it all falls flat because none of it is new or particularly interesting. None of the characters are really likeable and it's all just so unfocussed.

It just doesn't really know what kind of show it wants to be, or who the actual focus of the show is. Which is a shame because there are some great ideas here. It's not really a comedy (don't really think I've laughed more than a few times in all three season) but it does have a certain charm. The best episodes were the Halloween ones, but I think too much time was spent on the parents, who really were incredibly contrived and by far the least interesting part of the show.

Duncanville felt rather lazy to me, even though I enjoyed watching it, I found the characters and their actions hugely contrived, and it was all rather lazy.

This cancellation should be a lesson to all writers: FOCUS, know your audience, and deliver something special. Don't rely on old tropes, let's see something new and if you are going to homage past TV shows, let's see it fresh and exciting.

Because, sadly, Duncan and his gang just weren't good enough.

Forbidden Planet (1956)

Light Years Ahead of Its Time

[8/10 · 22 May 2022]

For today's audience, Forbidden Planet might be a touch slow, for very little really happens in the movie's 90 minutes run time. Most of it is really about a bunch of pervy blokes letching over the daughter of Morbius, who just wants to be left alone with his research on the "forbidden planet".

There is a simple story here, and the concept is fantastic, even if it takes a while to get there. The acting is very much a thing of its time, but everything else stands up gloriously and the blu ray looks sensation with some truly delicious colour palates.

For the late 1950s, the effects are sensational, the sets are wonderful and as a whole, some of the dialogue might be stilted, but it's still better than some of the dross Hollywood churns out these days.

This is absolutely a seminal classic and quite probably the foundation for Star Trek. A must-see for all sci-fi fans everywhere.

Duncanville: (Work) Marriage Story (2022) Season 3, Episode 3

Storyline in the Toilet

[3/10 · 18 May 2022]

This episode was the bottom of the barrel. Jack's behaviour was just stupid. This show is so hit and miss, and unfortunately, this week, it was just a load of misses.

It just needs better writing. Because they have a potentially great show here, but it's let down by such mediocre and ridiculous storylines.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

There's two totally different movies here

[2/10 · 5 May 2022]

The problem with this movie is that it's two totally different movies, and two totally different styles very badly mashed together.

The marvel style just doesn't fit that dark horror style.

The scenes with scarlet witch were simply excellent. The rest... decidedly average.

It just felt very by the numbers and sooo formulaic.

Which is sad because with some editing and a little rewrite this could have been a fabulous movie. You can definitely tell that there were extensive reshoots.

Star Trek: Picard: Hide and Seek (2022) Season 2, Episode 9

Make It So So

[4/10 · 28 April 2022]

Ok so this episode was better than last week's and certainly the week's before, but it's still a terrible pile of absolutely nonsense that seems to have been written by children.

The motivations of all the characters are so ridiculous. They make terrible decisions and the whole thing is just so incredibly contrived (don't even get me started on the Queen this week).

I just keep thinking that if the writers were part of any decent accredited script writing course they would fail. This stuff is just bottom of the barrel nonsense.

The problem is if they were going for bottom of the barrel nonsense, they have really really failed, as it would be so much easier to create something that was just eye candy without any substance. What we have here is confusing conflicted and bogged down with bloat and padding.

At least there's only one week left.

Star Trek: Picard: Monsters (2022) Season 2, Episode 7

The nadir of the season

[1/10 · 25 April 2022]

No, Nadir isn't a romulan. This episode is the absolute bottom of the barrel in a truly lacklustre unimaginative uninspired and awful show.

Who is writing this stuff?

Truly awful episode with not a single redeeming feature or decent plot progression. You can take it out episodes 3 to 8 and the show wouldn't miss 5 episodes of padding at all.

Star Trek: Picard: Mercy (2022) Season 2, Episode 8

Ugh. And the plot crawls forward at impulse...

[3/10 · 25 April 2022]

Who is writing this stuff? It's just bad.

The supposedly super clever characters are making the most ridiculous decisions in a storyline that is boring beyond anything I could have imagined.

It's all just not good enough.

Heartstopper (2022– )

Great but no surprises

[8/10 · 24 April 2022]

Great acting, great cast. Nicely written. Good story, but it gets marked down for being so predictable - it's really nothing new.

Really enjoyed it. BUT, this is a story we've heard time after time after time...

That said, it's absolutely delightful and utterly charming. A very very easy watch.

I am very much hoping for season 2.

Star Trek: Picard: The Star Gazer (2022) Season 2, Episode 1

Better than Discovery

[6/10 · 7 March 2022]

But it's still a rather humdrum show that's really not a perfect continuation of the Trek series. It doesn't really feel like Trek and the bits we'd all love to see (more of the Federation and its ships and workings) are teased at us without being developed.

And that's really the crux of the issue. Nu-Trek is a bunch of ideas that aren't really well-thought out.

The implication Picard has avoided love is ridiculous and the whole dialogue is just really very poor. It's condensing Picard's personality and reasons for doing things down to the lowest common denominator.

Guinan was good, and Q is always exceptional, but I can't help but feel none of this Nu-Trek is actually really Trek at all.

I enjoyed this episode way more than the entirety of season 1 and all of Discovery (which is and has been really very very weak throughout its run) but can't feel that it wouldn't be better in the hands of a producer who understood Star Trek and what it needs to move forward.

After all, is more of THIS (endless new shows in the same ilk) really what everybody wants?

Stargirl (2020–2022)

A Star Has Fallen...

[3/10 · 8 October 2021]

WOW. Season 1 was such a great start. A show with character and charm on which they could build a superior season 2.

And yet something's gone horribly wrong. Because season 2 is DULL. I mean boring. It's foregone most of the relationship melodrama in favour of - well nothing.

It's just a lot of drawn-out looks of the town, discussions about the same topics, no action, and a story that's moving at a snail's pace.

There have been a few electric episodes, but any momentum they built midseason with big bad is long forgotten. We've had more padding than I've seen in just about any show - literally nothing has happened for two episodes and seeing the characters having yet another crisis of faith got boring in season 1.

Overall, so much to like but just not here in season 2. It just isn't worth ploughing through all the empty pointless episodes to get to a few genuinely good episodes.

Dreadful.

Squid Game (2021– )

So. Much. Potential

[5/10 · 5 October 2021]

Squid Game could have been an amazing show, but at an average of 55 episodes, it's filled with so much bloat.

It needed to be 6-8 half hour episodes.

It is fantastic, stylishly shot and has so much going for it, but boy does it need an edit. Episode 2 was entirely pointless and ridiculous in the extreme.

So much I could say, but I'd love to see a vastly cut down version, or a 2 hour movie - the running length is really the only thing spoiling what could have been truly legendary.

Foundation (2021– )

Another shallow, pointless script from David $ Goyer

[2/10 · 25 September 2021]

If I see the name David S Goyer on any project I invariably flinch and Foundation is no different. How does this man keep getting work?

He seems to know nothing about the source material and, like so many of his projects, he endlessly creates the same hackneyed and derivative nonsense.

It's like he looked at the back of one of the books and wrote a script based on that. Utterly pointless gender flipped nonsense that couldn't even be called "based on the works of".

Everyone talks about how great Darks City is and, yes it's a fabulous movie, but have you you really listen to The script and how terrible it is?

Hollywood please stop hiring David S Goyer and he is constantly destroying my favourite properties?

Stargirl: Summer School: Chapter Seven (2021) Season 2, Episode 7

So much filler. Skip it.

[2/10 · 23 September 2021]

Following on from season 1, season 2 is desperately uneven. It starts very slowly with really very little of the charm of its debut season. While it had just redeemed itself with two fantastic episodes, episode 7 is a massive step in the wrong direction.

I know the CW shows love to pile on the melodrama and the personal "character development", but this episode of faith for Yolanda is simply really incredibly dreary. Yes we know she is struggling but it just didn't need to be a whole episode.

Finding season 2 a vast decline in quality on the first excellent season. Its a huge shame.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2021–2022)

It's Different

[8/10 · 16 September 2021]

Didn't hate it. I wanted to, but it was endearing and attractive and actually pretty good. It's very much a product of its age, flashy, quick, fast-moving, and wholly CG, but the re-imagining is pretty good.

The first episode is an origin story which keeps all the characters from the 80s show, pretty much, and gives them new backstories.

No matter what, at least it's not the abysmal Kevin Smith version. Is the script better? Not sure yet, but after one episode, I certainly want to find out more.

The kids will be hugely entertained. It's not really the He-Man we know, but does that really matter?

He's All That (2021)

LOVED IT

[8/10 · 27 August 2021]

There's always people wanting to overreact because it's a reworking of an original story,

But I loved it! Of course it's not breaking new ground and its not doing anything original - but it doesn't need to - we know what's happening, what's gonna happen, and how it's going to end.

I thought it was a really good gender swap. Absolutely adorable and perfectly entertaining.

If you like this kind of movie and are capable looking past the original then there's lots to love here. But ultimately, if you are outraged, just watch the original...

Cooking with Paris (2021)

Why Netflix? WHY???

[2/10 · 6 August 2021]

Why the hell is Netflix pandering to people like Paris Hilton? With no discernible talent, this show might be quasi-reality TV, but it's just excruciating. It isn't even funny in an ironic way; the celebrities featured here have the personality of cardboard. They are the literal opposite of our aspirations for what role model should be.

Netflix could be spending money supporting actual talent; you know, by making shows with actual talented writers and actors that need the break. Instead we get this monstrosity...

Escape Room: Tournament of Champions (2021)

Very Enjoyable

[7/10 · 24 July 2021]

I'm really enjoying this series. This isn't quite as developed as the first movie, but it's still a thrill ride (although there's perhaps less focus on the rooms).

Some of the rooms look really gorgeous and there's obviously a huge amount of money spend on the visual effects. The beach scene at night is particularly gorgeous.

What I did notice is, due to the success of the first movie, presumably with a more family-friendly audience, that this movie has lost most of the gore and adult content. This is a great move as it gives Escape Room 2 a wider appeal (smart move).

Are there a few ridiculous scenes and frankly outrageous scenes? Sure. But that's all part of the magic. Escape Room 2 still has it!

Very much looking forward to part 3.

Fear Street: Part One - 1994 (2021)

An excellent slasher

[7/10 · 2 July 2021]

OK. So there's a lot to like here, but on reflection, I've lowered my score to a 7, and here's why.

This is a refreshing rework of a very tired genre. I genuinely did not expect the deaths, as it all had a Stranger Things vibe going on. It's a surprisingly gory movie, which was a refreshing change from the sanitised stuff currently doing the rounds.

BUT, there were a LOT of cliches, and predictable stuff which could have been reworked to something fresh and more interesting, and some of the things the characters do is frankly ridiculous, but that's why we love these movies.

So, the reason for my lowered score is that the movie pays no attention to the mythology it deliberately and very specifically creates. The gang specifically say Skullface and others are only going to kill those they think are Sam (due to having Sam's blood on them), yet the killers murder several people for no clear reason. Hundreds of people make these movies; did no one stop and say HEY we're breaking our own rules here!

There was a lot of bloat in Fear Street, but the final act was great and genuinely quite thrilling. I think the three linked movies is an excellent way to refresh a tired genre, but the endless tropes, the overbearing music, and the breaking of the movie's own rules - all stands against it.

Still, the fact the movies are going back in time is really interesting, and I can't wait to see what happens next (or happened next).