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Immaculate (2024)
Intentionally offensive and nothing else
Are you mad at God and/or organized religion?
How mad?
Mad enough to create an exceptionally gory horror film just to try to degrade a religion?
Because if so, you have a lot in common with the people who made this nauseating middle finger to Catholicism.
This film is a textbook example of being offensive expressly to offend.
The movie serves no other purpose.
The writing is subpar and the plot nonsensical.
There is no real character development and the acting mostly involves staring and screaming.
Yep, lot of that, STARING and SCREAMING.
So there you have it; this is a movie that should not have been made.
It is not well constructed and the motives behind it are as transparent and childish, as they are hateful.
This is one I would unsee if I could.
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
Wow, really well done
Honestly, I was unsure what to expect from this, but works so well in this is everything. It is truly a very well rounded offering.
The set designs are superb, both respecting the source material and creating a very strong visual compliment to the storyline. Whatever technologies they used to generate the animatronic characters also impressed me with regards to honoring the original aesthetic and making them appear realistic.
Where this movie also shines is through acting.
Personally, I feel Hutcherson is underrated as an actor in general, but he is not the only one who stands out in this film. Most horror movies involve some difficult to sell dialogue because they rely predominantly on the fantastical to generate thrills. Five Night at Freddy's is no different in that regard; however, the entire cast effectively conveys the underlying emotions, as well as working gracefully through some requisite exposition.
What I would consider to be the real defining trait of this movie was their success engaging the audience in the emotional components of the plot. While the poster and trailer might lead the unfamiliar to believe this is horror comedy, it hits very differently. Woven into terror, larger that life characters, and nostalgia are a lot of big feelings about loss, guilt, and navigating through pain. While not everyone may gaze that deeply into Five Nights at Freddy's, I give a lot of credit to the film's makers for creating a horror film that reaches beyond jump scares in order to deliver more.
This is one movie that surprise by being a cut above.
Definitely worth watching, probably more than once.
Archer: The Big Con (2022)
Should have quit a couple seasons ago
I would applaud the efforts to retool Archer YET AGAIN, if the result was not such a mournful mess.
With the series's quality in steady decline, the death of Jessica Walter should have been the impossible to deny sign that it was time to stop.
My suspicion is greed drove the network and creators to forge ahead despite this, which is truly tragic considering how brilliantly irreverent this show once was.
The Archer opener of season 13 is a meandering re-visitation of previously seen storylines and jokes.
After so long on the air, with so many reinventions, this story feels tired.
Worse yet, it feels bereft of key characters, which cast something of a pall over what is supposed to be an escapist comedy.
I will not tell you there are no jokes that land in this particular episode; however, I will warn you they are few and far between.
What humor there is also is mediocre; there is nothing inventive here, nor anything that will make you throw your head back to laugh out loud.
For those who want Archer back anyway they can get him, this will probably satisfy you.
Alas, for those who are hoping to see a return to form, this episode will be extremely disheartening.
Day Shift (2022)
Zero originality
Everyone associated with this movie did an acceptable job.
Trouble is that is all they did.
There is nothing even remotely special about this film.
In fact, it is basically a story you have already seen before, repeatedly.
The other part of this is calling it a comedy is being overly generous.
Fox and DiFranco have very little comedic presence on their own and zero chemistry together, so their oddball friendship does not work at all
No laughs, no surprises, and a plot so predictable, you could pretty much rewrite the script yourself after you watch the trailer.
Again, this is not a failure of individuals, this is a failure rooted in the origins of the film, which clearly were merely cut and paste from other popular horror comedies.
Ultimately, this is just a wholly forgettable movie.
What We Do in the Shadows: The Wedding (2022)
Flipping Fabulous!
There was so much going on in this episode and it moved so fast that it was like three episodes in one.
I confess, at the beginning of this season I had begun losing hope that the show was going to be worthy of another season.
I am so happy to have been wrong.
This episode was a true gem and makes me excited about future episodes.
Really wonderful work by writers, actors, and art directors.
Kudos to them all.
This one is a grand slam that you will immediately want to rewatch.
The Sandman (2022)
It DRAAAAAAAAAGGGGS
There are so many things wrong with this series, but the biggest one is that it is profoundly boring.
The people behind The Sandman found a way to make cosmic struggles only marginally more amusing than watching paint dry.
The other obvious problem is the lack of fidelity with the source material.
Fans of Gaiman's original graphic works are not going to be happy with the changes that have been made in this interpretation because they have been provided many significant reasons to be displeased.
It's actually difficult to believe Gaiman is as comfortable with this reimagining of his work as he claims.
Regarding the other contents...
The costume and set design are intricate and very beautiful.
Alas, it is not good enough to carry the story.
Put another way, if this were being assessed the way you judge a painting, you'd like it a lot more.
The acting is challenging to review because the quality is very inconsistent.
Without naming names, some members of the cast were clearly not selected based on their acting abilities.
In the end, this is a tragic misstep, made with an intellectual property that had enormous potential.
Tragically, it will only be remembered as another example of writers refusing to respect the much loved stories and fans they seek to exploit for profit.
Why studios continue to adopt this approach when it inevitably fails remains a mystery to me.
What We Do in the Shadows: Private School (2022)
Returning to form!
If you were losing hope because of the rocky start to the 4th season of this series, this episode will give you reason to rejoice.
The writers of this episode created something very memorable.
Better yet, they developed the show's storyline in a lot of interesting ways.
As a big fan of this comedy, I was so relieved at the end of this episode because I had begun to wonder if the quality of writing was falling off a cliff after the first three episodes of the season.
The opening episode had been particularly bad in my opinion, so it is deeply heartening to see the show still has enormous potential.
Hopefully, the makers of What We Do in the Shadows will take a careful look at the reviews for each episode of season four when it concludes.
They could then use that insight to see where they went really wrong, as well as identifying scripts like Private School that really shine.
Farzar (2022)
Thoroughly uninspired
Sincerely, I am not sure why they bothered to make this show.
It is devoid of anything original or engaging.
Make no mistake, there is some top tier talent involved in producing this series; trouble is the final product is simply bad.
While I cannot know what went wrong behind the scenes during the development of Farzar, I can tell you what is wrong with it.
The biggest issue this show faces is that it lacks anything resembling originality.
I quite literally spent the first episode listing all the other shows and movies that were blended to make Farzar.
You see pieces of virtually every recent successful animated comedy series stitched together to make this.
In that sense, this is more like studying a quilt, than watching a sit com.
Other issues involve poor plot construction, poor character design, and exceptionally lame jokes.
I kept watching this show hoping it would get better, but it doesn't and I was not surprised.
The flaws with Farzar are built into its foundation, so cruel as it may sound, this is a show that is destined to fail.
Now, we just wait to see if Netflix will be merciful and provide it a swift death or drag it out into a slow torturous one.
The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)
Then it got dark...
While certainly not the most ardent Bob's Burgers fan, I do enjoy the actors, the animation, and most of the writing.
The idea of a Bob's Burgers movie was, however, hard to picture in my mind.
Turns out this film is essentially an expanded re-visitation of a plotline that has already been extensively explored through the TV series.
Truly, a lack of originality is this movie's Achille's Heel.
Apart from the tiny fraction of individuals who will show up to theaters with no knowledge of the TV series that spawned it, most viewers will find the main storyline of this movie, as well as all the ancillary ones, very familiar.
While carrying some threads over from the show is expected, this script failed to include enough new concepts to keep it stimulating.
Harsh as it may sound, I believe this is a film many people will actually be happier watching at home, where they can pause it when it starts to drag.
One other thing that stood out about this film was how very disturbing it got in a couple of spots.
I am actually not typically a fan of trigger warnings, but this movie probably could use at least one.
In the interest of avoiding a spoiler tag, I will type no more on the topic; suffice to say, there is more darkness in this film than you find in the vast majority of goofy, animated comedies.
Considering the production in its entirety, this was an enjoyable movie.
There were some laugh out loud bits and some very cool designs introduced around the Warf.
Alas, despite the bright spots, this was a mediocre showing that feels like it was hastily constructed and rushed through theaters.
If the reason for all that is that it was intended for the small screen, then that is where it should have remained.
Night Sky (2022)
The cure for insomnia
This show has a stellar cast and an intriguing story; alas, all of that was for naught because it just drags and drags.
I'm not sure how they did it, but they took a concept that should have been spectacular and made it boring.
Adding to the plodding pace and lack of action is the drab color scheme.
There are also some rather depressing plot points that further weigh down this series.
Again, this is meant to be an otherworldly mystery, yet you find yourself yawning and wishing it would end halfway through the first episode.
You might be tempted to hang on because of the quality of actors they attracted to the project, but I warn you now, it never gets any better.
Personally, I also did not appreciate Amazon opting out of automatic subtitles for the very extensive Spanish language portion of this show.
If you are a Spanish speaker, I would expect Amazon to provide you English subtitles, if that is the language you have selected; so why exactly do English speakers get the middle finger?
Is this series meant to cater exclusively to bilingual speakers?
I don't know what point they are trying to prove , but it made for an exceptionally frustrating viewing experience.
In the end, this series took and enormous amount of potential and converted into something thoroughly tedious and unwatchable.
The Lost City (2022)
Not original, but pretty and fun
Whether you enjoy this movie will really depend on what your expectations of it are.
If you are looking for something original, high-brow, or complex, you will seriously disappointed.
If, however, you are looking for some brain and eye candy, then you should be pleased.
Not to put to fine a point on it, but this is basically a less gritty version of Romancing the Stone.
Even though you know exactly what is going to happen, the beautiful backdrops and and Bullock's knack for comedy make this an enjoyable romp through the jungle.
Brad Pitt's appearance in the film, although brief, is a real boon to the story.
His performance really stands out and keeps the film from dragging over what is probably a longer runtime than it needed.
Daniel Radcliffe's appearance is less successful.
He seems to be trying too hard to live down his Harry Potter days by seeking out roles that allow him to play a villain, a weirdo, or both.
In the end, this is a silly rom com that is fairly forgettable, but still pretty and fun.
So long as you accept that you are not sitting down to watch the next Citizen Kane, this is a movie you will be able to enjoy.
Welcome to Flatch (2022)
Yuck
Do you love hateful stereotype?
Do you long for more of Hollywood's hypocrisy?
Do you despise all white people?
Do you long for a show that portrays people as exceptionally stupid and considers it comedy?
Then this is the show for you!
There's no actual humor of course, but I have to think that was intentional.
This isn't clever or lowbrow or satire, it's just a mean spirited mockery of rural America with no basis in reality.
This show offers no likable character, no engaging storylines, and nothing even resembling a joke.
My guess is the impetus behind this show was to make people in the entertainment industry feel better about themselves by mocking those they consider furthest beneath them; i.e. Regular people.
Unfortunately, what may scratch some itch for them is a thoroughly unwatchable show devoid of any redeeming qualities.
The Rising (2022)
Engaging
Despite a few missed opportunities and a couple dropped threads, this is an excellent series overall.
Anyone who has dealt with the grief of a sudden loss will be very moved by several aspects of this story.
The writers tapped successfully into grief in a way that made it feel authentic.
Their approach to the supernatural elements of this tale was not heavy handed, which helped avoid the hokeyness that sometimes hampers films in which a ghost is a central character.
For the most part, the large cast did a solid job bringing the village featured in this movie to life.
There were a few woke elements woven into this tale, but props to the writers for not being too heavy handed with them.
While one important moment was hijacked by a me too diatribe, in general, social justice took a back seat to story and character development, which made for a far more engaging final product.
I would consider this series very with watching, particularly for fans of ghost stories, murder mysteries, and small town dramas.
Moon Knight (2022)
Yikes!
I did not expect this to be great or even good, but it did surprise me with regards to the ways in which it was bad.
First and foremost, it was painful to watch Oscar Isaac struggle with a British accent.
I always thought of him as a decent actors, but he was so clearly uncomfortable trying to affect the accent that is made me uncomfortable.
Next, of course, was the very lackluster story development, which seems to be Disney's signature these days.
Compounding that was the very poor dialogue; even the casual banter was awkward and stilted.
Alas, the other problem was treatment of the hero.
The insistence on denigrating certain people and exalting others based purely on immutable traits like gender, race, and sexuality is impossible to ignore.
Ironically, it also has the opposite of its intended effect.
That is to say, the fact that the writers are trying to hard to shoehorn in certain ideologies is painful obvious and therefore rings false.
Consequently, instead of liking the characters you are being pushed to idolize, you end up disliking them, in this case, intensely.
One thing that saves a lot of Disney's Marvel offerings was absent from Moon Knight, humor.
The comedic elements that typically make these increasingly generic superhero shows somewhat tolerable was almost non-existent in this show.
Certainly attempts were made to inject mirth, but they failed, which in turn made watching this a very joyless experience.
In the end, all that was left to recommend Moon Knight were the sets and costumes.
Disney does not skimp when it comes to the look of its shows and films, so you do get visual interest.
Still, if I want to look at something pretty, I'd rather spend my time at an art museum where the creations have something Moon Knight sorely lacks: soul.
This latest Marvel series is simply devoid of anything remotely inspiring, which makes for a very sad viewing experience.
So Cold the River (2022)
Dark and meandering
This film had some interesting elements, but the sum total was a bit of a mess.
First, they were clearly going for an atmospheric supernatural vibe, which made for a very dark and oppressive feel. This is definitely a movie that relied too heavily on dim lighting in order to establish the mood.
Second, while the location was gorgeous it was incongruous with the actual story. You're supposed to believe this is set in a small town where everyone knows everyone, yet everything takes place in an enormous, ultra plush, and thriving hotel. Sorry, those two concepts really did not gel as presented.
Third, this film leaned into metaphors, HARD. Symbolism can build intrigue if it is thoughtfully paired with a story, but this film feels like a lot of stuff and nonsense was thrown in exclusively to pad the runtime.
Fourth, there is no real resolution to this film. The makers wove a lot of potential threads together, but then just left them dangling at the end. Some concepts popped to merely blink out of relevance, others seems attached to the main plot, but then went nowhere, and the overarching plot points were never resolved in any meaningful way.
This film is worse than one that leaves you with unanswered questions because when it ends you don't even have fully formed questions.
Giving credit where credit is do, there are some beautiful shots in this film that offer visual interest, despite the rather drab lighting.
Alas, this film fails because it invested far too much in setting up scenes and not enough in developing a cogent story.
Ultimately watching this is like driving around in a car for a really long time, only to discover you've ended up somewhere you could have walked to faster.
Halo (2022)
Shameful
When you approach an intellectual property that you clearly do not respect or understand, there can be no good outcome.
In this case, the intent was obviously to exploit a beloved gaming franchise to push an agenda and make a profit.
Unfortunately, in their haste to use the Halo universe for their own purposes, the makers of this show did not bother to stop and reflect on the elements which originally made it successful.
Instead, they hollowed out the core concepts of the game until all that was left was an aesthetic shell, which they then filled up with their own ideology.
Beyond the lack of respect for the source material, this show also suffers from inept dialogue, abysmal character development, and emaciated plot development.
While this criticism may seem harsh, the series truly is an abject failure right out of the gate.
What is truly sad is that this did not have to be a disaster.
Forward Unto Dawn stands as a testament to the fact that Halo can be translated into an engaging story with flesh and blood actors.
Alas, in this instance a game with a devoted following and enormous potential was desecrated by outsiders who merely wanted to use an existing fanbase for their own purposes.
Resident Alien: Family Day (2022)
Fart Jokes???
This episode was a dramatic improvement over the previous two in terms of it not injecting quite so much woke cringe.
Alas, that's about all the good news there is.
Seemingly gone from this show are the carefully crafted plots and biting satire.
In their place are convoluted storylines and childish attempts at humor.
To give credit where it is do, the episode did manage to slip in some world building and a couple heartwarming moments.
The problem is those were buried amid a tangled mess of ideas that lacked continuity, both within the episode and across the larger series' arcs.
Moreover, several of the plot points were so poorly handled as to be offensive.
As per the previous episodes and marketing, Harry's daughter shows up, but her appearance and disappearance was handled with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer upside your head.
This entire second season feels like the writers have lost their way.
Why that is, I cannot say.
I only know their sophomoric attempts at humor, heavy handed politics, and overall poor story structure are swiftly killing a once great show.
Pivoting (2022)
Easily the best sit come on tv at the moment
This is hands down the best sit com on TV at the moment...
Which is why I fully expect it's being cancelled as I type.
While a not a family friendly offering, Pivoting is smart, fast paced, perfectly cast, and extremely funny.
It also has some very poignant moments woven in that tug at the heartstrings.
For me, the character and plot development for this show are where it shines.
The creators have fleshed out people who are imperfect, yet extremely likable.
Moreover, the show is populated by characters who are not merely diverse on the surface, but instead represent a broad array of personalities.
That is such a rare thing these days, it's sad that this show is not getting the attention it deserves.
This is a rare gem in a sea of bad television and well worth watching.
Promised Land (2022)
Woke Falconcrest
Anyone who watched Falconcrest back in the day is going to roll their eyes and groan at this transparent rip off.
The only real difference is this retelling comes with a huge helping of leftist talking points dumped on top.
That they are trying to push a fictionalized version of border politics at this point in history seems especially poorly timed.
Not only does this show offer no escapism; it's going to offend a lot of people living in border communities for its exceptionally bias and unrealistic depiction of that extremely complex issue.
If you are looking for an original, well-written drama, Promised Land fails on both counts.
If, however, you are looking for a remake of a 1980s nighttime soap opera retooled as a propaganda delivery system, then this is absolutely the show for you!
Call Me Kat (2021)
Excruciatingly bad
I have to believe every even remotely positive review for this show was written by someone who either works on it or was paid to try and shore up its online scores.
There is nothing funny or engaging about this, full stop.
Making matters work, the lack of talent and likability among the cast make it basically unwatchable.
Even by the every sinking standards of what passes as a sit com these day, Call me Kat is especially bad.
Beyond an enormous amount of cringe, this show has nothing to offer the world.
Really and truly, this is one of the worst shows I've watched lately and that is saying something.
The Book of Boba Fett (2021)
Pretty, but dumb
Set design = great
Costumes = great
Special effects = great
Acting = mixed
Story = crap
Dialogue = painfully bad
This is a beautiful disaster.
While the visuals are on target and honor the Star Wars aesthetic, that is pretty much where the good news ends.
Everything else about this show is hot garbage.
The story is a convoluted mess that reads like a 12 year old wrote it.
The acting is hit and miss; though to be fair, they are working with limited dialogue, none of which sounds natural.
Overall, this is another example of how dumping limitless money and talent onto a project is meaningless if you do not have the foundation of a quality script on which to build.
Around the World in 80 Days (2021)
Why adapt stories if you hate them?
Why the entertainment industry insists on making shows and movies based on intellectual properties they clearly revile is a mystery.
Are they unable to find a story by an author they do not despise?
Are they completely incapable of creating original works?
Are they intentionally selecting beloved tales expressly so they can denigrate them?
Whatever the reason, this iteration of Jules Verne's classic tale departs from the novel in a manner that does not improve upon the story in any meaningful way.
It adds no humor or pathos, as other retellings have.
Instead, it deconstructs the main character until he bares no resemblance to the original.
Instead of a determined gentleman who succeeds through sheer force of will, this Phileas Fogg is a moron who stumbles around having his companions babysit him.
This change is doubly devastating to the story because, in addition to being an affront to Verne's work, the alterations to Fogg make him a thoroughly unlikable protagonist.
The idea that his valet and the widow Aouda would remain with this version of Fogg also rings false.
There are of course also the requisite race and gender swapping of characters to a degree that they pull you out of both the story and the historical context of Verne's work.
While the costumes, set design, and cinematography are all well done, they end up being so much lipstick on a pig.
For fans of Jules Verne, this series will be an insult to his creations.
For casual viewers with no attachment to the author, this will simply be a tedious mess.
Don't Say Its Name (2021)
Worthwhile, though a bit clunky
This film packs in a lot of complex themes into its story without being one sided or overly preachy.
Unfortunately, much of what it explores is hampered by a less than perfect delivery.
Watching this you can't help wishing someone with a stronger vision and more deft touch had been behind the wheel.
Where the movie could have used subtlety to communicate, it relied on dialog and over the top characters.
That had the unfortunate effects of slowing the pace down and giving too much away, too soon.
The mystery and suspense aspects of this film are therefore less successful than the social commentary and supernatural elements.
Still, there is enough in Don't Say Its Name to be worth your time.
You simply need to approach the film when you are feeling patient enough to overlook its flaws, in favor of focusing on its strengths.
Come Back to Me (2014)
Dark Gem
This is an overlooked gem that deserved more attention than I got.
While not a big budget film, this is well done for what they had to work with.
Fair warning, the story is a dark one, but it is a very engaging tale nonetheless.
If you like horror, suspense, supernatural, and/or mysteries, this will hold a lot of appeal to you.
Don't let the obscurity or other reviews scare you off.
Also, avoid all spoilers.
If you go into this with an open mind, this movie will keep you engaged.
Squidbillies: One Man Banned (2021)
Should have stopped while they were ahead
Whatever the creator's problems with Hinson were, this attempt to restart the show stands only as a testament to the fact that Squidbillies does not work without the original voice of Early Cuyler.
Regardless of your feelings on Hinson's political views, his voice is inimitable and without it the main character fails to carry the show as he once did.
The writers also appear to be trying to overcorrect for the debacle that instigated the recasting by making the storylines all service the ideology of wokeness.
Gone is the silly and good natured ribbing of hillbilly culture.
In its place are some downright mean and preachy plot points, seemingly designed exclusively to denigrate certain segments of American society.
What reason beyond perhaps greed the creators had for trying to keep this show going without its star I cannot say.
One thing, however, is certain; they would have been better off quitting while they were ahead.
This return to the North Georgia mountains is simply tainting the legacy of a once great show.