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Eden Log (2007)
strangely beautiful, strangely arresting, just plain strange
The film explores the sudden waking of a naked, mud covered man in a cave below an abandoned, ruined complex full of monsters, and continues to follow him as he discovers what's happened. The film is gorgeous in a grungy, muted, utterly unique sort of way that nevertheless feels like it should be a video game. I think it was worth seeing just to enjoy such a weird vibe and a storytelling method that doesn't hand you any answers, but it's definitely a strange movie that isn't for everyone...And I'd love it if someone would explain that ending. The film contains a very painful moment of interaction between the man and the only other person in the movie that I'm not entirely sure belonged in the film, though it did perhaps serve to demonstrate his messed up and deteriorating frame of mind. Overall I enjoyed it for its uniqueness but would've enjoyed it even more with more exposition.
Hudson Hawk (1991)
Absurd, original, unforgettable
You either get this film or you don't, as many other reviewers have said. It's easy to see why it flopped, billed as it was as an action film with everyone's favorite 90s action star Bruce Willis, when in fact it was an absurd utterly weird comedy. Light-hearted, whimsical, almost Looney Tunes at times, this film was a breath of fresh air that I acquired and viewed out of a whim having read that it was a misunderstood comedy. It definitely is: It's hilarious, and like nothing else out there for sheer originality. See it if only to enjoy a film that challenges your sense of the absurd and oozes creativity and enjoyable silliness.
Hitman (2007)
Faithful to the film and a very fun action film in its own right
I went in with the low expectations one always goes into video games-turned-film with, and came out deeply pleased with the spot-on treatment of 47 and his cunning, ruthless life of assassination. The locations were beautiful and added a lot of class to the film, the over the top action wasn't very stealthy but who expects that in an action film despite it being in the games, and Olyphant absolutely nailed the character of 47. Ruthless, determined, subtle, deadly, and a total badass, he also injected a necessary touch of humor and humanity to the character. My hat's off to everyone involved in making this highly entertaining film that not only pays great tribute to the game series, but also serves up a darned fun action film. Also watch for the scene where you expect a copout sex scene, that 47 very rudely interrupts. Hilarious and very in character for the video game assassin.
30 Days of Night (2007)
Strictly by the numbers...
This film is being highly overrated by a bored public, or people are just buying the hype. While it is by no means a bad horror movie, it's very reminiscent of many formulaic gore-filled 80s horror films. Which puts it miles above the utter dreck of today following the trend of vomit-inducing gore like Saw and Hostel, but that doesn't change the fact that this film did nothing particularly shocking, moving, terrifying, or new, nor did it serve up the best effects ever, stunning vistas, or a really intense atmosphere. It also did a poor job of making the horrific 30 day war of attrition against the vampires seem like it really took 30 days. On the positive side it did serve up plenty of gory action, and the film never really slowed down, and the buildup at the start is quite ominous for a while. You could do worse, you could do better. At least you're not seeing Saw.
War (2007)
A waste of Staham and Li's talent
A few other reviews here have really nailed it, but I'm disappointed enough to want to toss in my own two cents. Any film that has Statham and Li's considerable talents at its disposal better either dish out the action, or have one heck of a great story to make up for disappointing fans who really just wanted to see these two great action stars duke it out. War gives you neither. Its story is contrived, weak, unbelievable, and stupid. Its dialog is utterly unremarkable. Statham plays a cop bent on revenge with his usual intensity, but that's about all he does. He chases Li around and gets nothing done until the predictable turnaround at the end. There are maybe three action scenes, and while they are well done, it's too little too late, as the movie spends the first hour or more just winding up the plot. When the action comes its too little, and far too late. An action movie with a dumb, predictable plot, and next to no action: I can't imagine a worse waste of time.
Silent Hill (2006)
Great for fans, great for non-fans...intense atmos and mood.
For fans of Silent Hill, this is the one you've been waiting for. A lot of people have criticized the plot and story and dialog, none of which are spectacular, all of which serve well enough. But the movie, like the games before it, is not about plot or great acting. It's about establishing one of the most intense, otherworldly, and hideously beautiful moods. With the use of rich sound and gorgeous yet bleak surroundings, Silent Hill establishes a rich and wonderful mood that will suck you in and keep you unnerved and riveted for your entire stay. Fan or not, you're bound to enjoy the atmosphere here as long as you aren't looking for the best story in horror film history.
Band of Brothers (2001)
As close to being there as you'd ever want to get.
Nothing can be said that hasn't been said: see it. Band of Brothers is a pulls-no-punches look at the harsh reality of the life of paratroopers in the Second World War, and even more broadly it's a look at the horrors of war in general, and WWII in particular. It will punch you in the gut with its power and honesty, its beautiful writing and characterization, and its lavishly effective sets and costumes that perfectly work to draw the viewer in. World War II has never been presented with so much realism, so much attention to detail, and (let's admit this!) such a huge budget. The deaths are gory not for the sake of gore but for the sake of showing you, the viewer, what these men went through and why it must never happen again. The concentration camp episode is one of the hardest things to watch ever filmed, but it should be watched.
This isn't just great drama, or great entertainment, it's history that still manages to entertain and educate and enthrall.
Guest House Paradiso (1999)
Watch if you're a Bottom fan. Avoid if you're not.
Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmunson are two of my favorite actors, and two of Britains finest comic geniuses of their generation. They're masters of depraved physical comedy, and one of the finest comic duos in history. That having been said, their comedy takes getting used to and if you're not a fan, this is not the place to get into their goodness. They're famous in Britain for the Young Ones, their surreal 80s comedy, and almost equally as well known for the greatness of Bottom, their sitcom about two pathetic losers at the bottom rung of life's ladder. GHP takes these two characters and takes them on a bizarre, twisted adventure in hotel management which includes an extended, utterly indescribably brilliant fight scene that can best be summed up as live-action Warner Bros violence.
I'm surprised at the low rating, but if you could filter it you'd probably find that Bottom fans came away loving it, because that's the intended audience. It's story is sub par, the plot goes nowhere fast, but that's not what you're here for is it? You're here for the best vomit scene ever filmed, a kitchen fight that has to be seen to be believed, and drunken sleeping scooter-riding. There's no describing or properly summing up this level of insanity!
Fun with Dick and Jane (2005)
A competently done, moderately funny film
If my tag line doesn't sound glowing, that's because it's not. We've all sat through horrific stinkers and wished to heaven we could have our two hours back, and life is simply too short to watch terrible films, but sometimes you end up watching movies because you're sitting there and you don't want to move, because friends drag you to it, or because you've been unable to find a single other thing on the 500 channels on your satellite setup. Well, let me tell you that if you are forced to see it, you won't have the worst time of your life. Carrey has done oh so much worse things, and the grotesque poop/semen jokes are kept to a bare minimum, while the actual physical comedy and snappy lines work. I've seen better, but more importantly, I've seen FAR worse.
Last Man Standing (1996)
Fantastic, gritty noir action film.
I have to say that while I have not seen Yojimbo, and only just yesterday saw A Fistful of Dollars (Last Man Standing being a remake of Yojimbo, just as Fistful is) that while Fistful is the more classic, iconic, and clever of the two, Last Man Standing still stands tall as a gritty, exciting, and beautifully atmospheric noir film. Every second of the film drips beautiful Prohibition era gangster atmosphere that, if you're into that sort of experience, will make it a thrilling film. If you loved Fistful and Yojimbo, this is probably worth seeing just to see the third and least famous take on this classic story of a nameless man working two warring groups for his own benefits. The action, when it happens, is fast furious and highly stylish, and Bruce Willis (while no Clint Eastwood) holds his own as a really convincing and enjoyable antihero as John Smith. It's tragically undervalued and overlooked, and well worth seeing.
Dreamfall: The Longest Journey (2006)
The best video game story in a decade if not longer...
This is about the best game I have played in years. I loved TLJ and never expected a sequel, but anticipated it powerfully when it came around. It did not disappoint, containing the same level of brilliant mature storytelling, compelling characters, and memorable scenes. If you love great stories in gaming, you owe it to yourself not to miss one of the finest ever made, with top notch graphics, amazing voice acting, and an unforgettable story that still lingers in my mind, and will for a long time to come. I can't put it any more simply: support one of the finest games ever made by buying it. I played TLJ when it came out in 1999, I imported it from the UK I had heard so many good things about it. The sequel is far easier to get, but not as easy as it should be. If you have to order it, do it. If you have to get it from Amazon or EBGames.com or whatever, do it. If you cant' find it in the stores, find it somewhere else. YOU REALLY should play this if you enjoy games.
Loaded Weapon 1 (1993)
One of the best National Lampoon's films
National Lampoon movies have a reputation for being crass, stupid, juvenile affairs that you probably won't enjoy if you're over the age of 14. National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1 bucks the trend: Yes, it's still crass, but it can be clever, has jokes that you may miss if you're not watching closely, and has some genuinely clever lines as well as some great sight gags (the sight of William Shatner plunging his face into an aquarium full of piranhas to tongue-wrestle with them is nothing if not amusing). I would honestly classify this one as up there (almost) with the likes of Hot Shots (both of them) and the great Naked Gun films (in other words, the first two) as being genuinely clever and funny, even if its plot doesn't always hold up and not every moment is hilarious. Some of the jokes are dated and extremely topical, meaning you'll enjoy it more if you remember the day and age, but there are some truly timeless film jokes (grauitous beaver shot!).
If you enjoy slapstick, silly films that mix juvenile humor with some genuinely clever moments and a LOT of film mockery (too much, honestly, but still) then you should see this. I'd like especially to say how pleased and surprised I was at the comedic performance of William Shatner, who is very very funny as the malicious General Mortars (groan). Samuel L Jackson in his pre-Pulp Fiction days is also funny, doing a better job at it than Emilio. Be sure to see this one if you liked the Naked Gun/Hot Shots style of humor, don't let the National Lampoon's logo turn you off.