francesfarmersrevengeonseattle Reviews

The Nun (2018)

I WISH I HAD THE TIME BACK THAT I WASTED ON THIS FOOLISHNESS

[1/10 · 17 June 2020]

Im going to skip commentary on the ridiculous plot lines, dragging scenes, silly special effects, etc., essentially the entirety of this stupid waste of film. Instead, Im concentrating on the denouement.

We see "The Demonic Nun" pictured in early scenes. This thing has been in the novice nun's dreams and visions for apparently all of her life. Its a combo Wicked Witch of the West and really bad Halloween decor at Home Depot in the fall. So, we already know what's coming. Like Pennywise in "IT". The film gets the monster front and center for whatever purpose the director is looking for.

The Nun has come through a crack in the Abbey Floor to destroy the Abbey with its evil. The Novice and the Exorcist must find a way to send it back to the bowels of hell - or wherever demonic nuns go when they are sent back through the crack they crawled out of. To accomplish this, The Novice and The Exorcist have discovered a glass Faberge egg sort of creation in the Abbey - which contains - wait for it - the sacred blood of Jesus Christ. The Novice, who has just recently taken her vows, is allowed to wear the Faberge egg as a necklace because she is a new Bride of Christ, and the only soul pure enough to handle the blood.

Now we come to the hilarious scene: the one thing that beats them all. The Nun costume or special effects or whatever that was, has an enormous mouth full of gnarled yellow teeth. At least twice the number one would expect to see in a normal mouth - but hey, its a creature. One has to wonder why it would need so many teeth. Does a demonic entity actually eat anything, that requires teeth to masticate? Most amazingly, we see people walking the streets of Anytown USA missing MANY teeth - which is the result of poor dental hygiene and deficit dental care. Yet this thing has seemingly not 32 teeth, but possibly twice that many. There is no way The Nun is brushing and flossing and pursing 6 month dental checkups.

Now, back to the dumb story. The Novice finds herself in a room filled with water. The Nun follows her, and proceeds to drown her. Keeping in mind that the Novice is wearing the blood of Jesus Christ, which apparently The Nun isnt concerned with, or is too busy drowning the Novice to care about. We see the Novice under the water, with the last bubbles of life escaping her mouth. Suddenly, and miraculously. the Novice emerges from the water and spews the blood of Christ into the face of The Nun. As with the Wicked Witch in The Wizard of Oz, this decimates The Nun, then spins the water and The Nun out of the room through the crack in the floor, and seals the evil from the Abbey.

Oy. Spare me.

Tiger King (2020–2021)

HORROR SHOW: ANIMAL CRUELTY, KILLING AND EVIL

[1/10 · 11 June 2020]

There are an estimated 7-10,000 tigers living in captivity. There are 4,000 or less in the wild. Tigers are on the Endangered Species list. How? Well. seems PETA and any other animal "ACTIVISTS" out there can't seem to ever put a stop to it. Ever. But the power and big dollars of Netflix entertainment was able to round up the pea brains, toothless meth addicts and brawn that surrounded one especially heinous and flamboyant animal harming monster, Joe "Exotic".

Netflix wove his story together into a popular documentary, brimming with eyewitnesses who testify as to Joe Exotic's for profit tiger and other big cats breeding operation, exploitation, big money trade. and the killing of those big cats. All told with graphic description of unspeakable horrors that transpired, without pain or penalty, for years and years. Of course not ONE of these people came forward to intervene until Netflix appeared and they all saw a chance for 15 minutes of TV time. Then those very same people were able to relate, in explicit and sickening detail, all of Joe Exotic's harm, violation and maltreatment. Even jumping at the chance to testify in Federal Court to lock him away for years.

Seems that Joe Exotic's undoing actually came about - NOT from the heinous and senseless mistreatment and killing of animals, but instead when he decided to hire a lowlife, low budget acquaintance for the sum of $3,000 to "cap" his nemesis, a "big cat activist" near Tampa, Florida, by the name of Carole Baskin. Incidentally, in an odd twist, one of Joe's motivating factors to seeing to the demise of Carole Baskin. was the mysterious disappearance of her millionaire husband, Don Lewis, in the 90s.

Regardless, its tough to get a conviction to stick on a "murder for hire" charge, but crafty Federal prosecutors decided to throw animal abuse charges into the mix as well. Everyone "hates" animal abuse, just wont do anything to stop it. That was just the ticket to pull the cockroaches out of the baseboard. Suddenly Joe's employees, business partners, former employees, ex husband, and others were falling over themselves to appear on camera to relate horrific stories AND to testify in court as to the vile, inhumane and despicable treatment of animals entrusted to his "care" and the senseless killing of some of those innocent and noble ENDANGERED creatures. There was also the key testimony that cemented the murder for hire arrangement. The prosecutor's plan worked, and Joe Exotic was convicted to 22 years. Ironically. he now sits like one of the tigers he abused, in a cage with no chance for escape.

The most disturbing part of this documentary is that its true. Not "based on" the truth, as the ensuing film will be, but real life. There are no actors and sets: just those who lived it and witnessed it foe years. Fortunately, Joe Exotic was sentenced to 22 years in federal prison. Feather in the Fed's cap as it is, there are plenty more just like this guy out there. Netflix invites some other of them for their chance to be seen in all their their old man and some ponytailed glory onscreen as well. (As an aside, its must be the KoolAid that draws young, attractive women to those old codgers with bad teeth and aged, disgusting skin growths?). Nonetheless, Joe is spilling the secrets of ongoing animal evil and wrongdoing by those same scumbags from the confines of his jail cell. Nothing is being done about it, of course, because apparently none of those lowlife are as stupid as Joe so as to attempt hire to kill schemes. The animal abuse doesnt rate the same investigation, prosecution and penalties as"talking about" killing a woman.

BEWARE: Watch this if you don't care about the evils of animal cruelty in this world, or because Netflix advertises it on your streaming service, or because your brother thought it was good. Otherwise, it will haunt you, and you wont be able to unsee or unhear it. There is a wrap up with Joel McHale, wherein he interviews the director of the so-called "reality show" that had been planned about Joe Exotic. This particular man ran off to Norway, but freely admits his guilt and regret over his involvement with Joe Exotic. One particularly unsettling occurrence he witnessed was Joe's killing of an old horse. A woman asked Exotic to pasture the horse for the rest of its natural life on his many acres of land. Joe assured her that he would. Instead, he shot the horse with a revolver and had it slaughtered and fed to the tigers. Seems there was no age, breed or gender of animal Joe Exotic couldn't hurt or kill. Here's hoping Netflix can round up the next band of hyenas to spill on another one of these demonic abusers - but perhaps this time before they kill off hundreds of additional tigers and big cats and other innocent creatures.

Christmas Town (2019 TV Movie)

Boring - Especially Candace Cameron Bure

[1/10 · 8 December 2019]

Yes, Candace Cameron Bure is a producer on this project. Yes, Candace Cameron Bure is favored by the Hallmark franchise. But this was the worst new Hallmark movie so far of 2019. Boring and over saturated with Candace Cameron Bure's lack of onscreen chemistry with the male lead - (in fact 0 chemistry with ANY of the male leads in ANY of these movies!) Enough already. Let Mrs. Bure produce Hallmark holiday films, but step away from the camera. I'm sure she can appear in a small part somewhere as a pious religious character.

Marry Me for Christmas (2013 TV Movie)

Adorable Holiday Rom Com To Add To Annual Favorite Christmas Go-To Movies

[10/10 · 15 November 2019]

This is such a sweet holiday movie with family love, joy and togetherness all wrapped up with a wonderful surprise ending. Every year I surf all of the streaming services in search of the perfect, enlightening Christmas movie. This year I fell in love immediately with this one! The storyline is traditional: beautiful ambitious ad exec Marci is too busy to go home for Christmas, and fears judgment for not settling down or being successful enough. She presents her employee Adam to her large extended family as her boyfriend/fiancée to misdirect her mother's obsession for a wedding and a grandchild. Little does Marci know that the fates have an extraordinary Christmas gift waiting for her there.

This is a gem to add to your annual Christmas favorites. It's good, clean holiday fun that's perfect for the whole family to enjoy. Happy Holidays!

Selling Sunset (2019– )

The Plastics 10 Years After Graduation

[3/10 · 26 March 2019]

Were you ever wondered what happened to Queen Bee Mean Girl Regina and her crew after graduation from high school? Well, here they are! Grown up Plastics selling incredible properties in the Hills, with swimming pools and neighboring movie stars.

Good thing they earn ginormous commissions, cause they MUST HAVE it to keep themselves Barbie perfect in Legally Blonde couture and cars. It's a reality show - with the drama and competitiveness you would expect of realtors under the pimpish rule of the trollish Oppenheim twins. And hey - try to stop seeing the obvious resemblances with the Kardashian girls - except no dark brunettes! The hair, the makeup, the accents, the clothes! You know they were at least influenced by the Ks!

Here we have 39 year old, Mary, dating a 25 year old French kid, who is shocked to discover his reluctance to be a dad at 25ish is an issue! Heather, chasing a hockey player in Slovakia. Neither of these women could find better matches for themselves - with their looks and paychecks?' The obvious mean girl Christine, hates Heather for skating a client. Maya, an Israeli Gwenneth Paltrow lookalike, has a long distance marriage with her hubby in Miami. New girl Chrishell, born from poverty, now makes the big time thanks to the Oppenheims. What a fun group - and WHO THE HELL WANTS TO WORK WITH THESE PEOPLE!

Well, let's see how many seasons Oppenheims are willing to pay to keep this show on Netflix.

Jeremiah Johnson (1972)

10 Things We Are Willing To Overlook In Jeremiah Johnson

[10/10 · 16 February 2019]

1. Jeremiah's Hair is Always Perfect 2. Jeremiah's teeth are white and perfect. 3. Swan and Caleb's hair are always perfect. 4. Jeremiah has just one change of clothes, but is shown soaked from freezing water multiple times. 5. Jeremiah always has adequate ammo for his firearms. 6. Jeremiah becomes a vengeful Crow killer. 7. Caleb never grows. 8. Jeremiah horse in the opening trek into the mountains changes from one scene to the next. 9. Everyone in town knows what's going on with Jeremiah, despite the fact he doesn't socialize there or have regular conversations with anyone. 10. Jeremiah was heading to Canada at the end of thefilm, which was not yet formed in the 1830s.

The Christmas Chronicles (2018)

THE BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE OF 2018 - DESTINED TO BECOME AN INSTANT YEARLY FAVORITE

[10/10 · 11 December 2018]

Who would have thought mega bucks Netflix would have created a Christmas movie this excellent? Enough with the Hallmark and the Lifetime romantic foolishness - this one has mega star Kurt Russell as the coolest Head Elf Santa to hit the screen in years. No obese ho ho ho-ing old guy in a velvet suit. Kurt in red leather trimmed with hopefully] faux fur trim and Doc Martin's, rocks out with the likes of Steven Van Zandt - and that jailhouse scene stole this show. Was Kurt Russell really singing? He sure had the rock star confidence and swagger, but there is no confirmation anywhere on the internet. The basic plot is two kids and their mom struggling with their first Christmas without Dad - who learn in the process that they can still be a family. Big bro Teddy is headed down the juvenile delinquent path, until he learns the power of believing. Ah the Power of Christmas Magic! LOVE the Elves - yeah, ok, they're some sort of Nordic Gremlin cat things, but they grow on you pretty fast! Goldie Hawn as Mrs. Claus was great casting. Overall, this one hits the mark -- with all the joy and magic of the Season. ENJOY!

Larry Crowne (2011)

Larry Crown is ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!

[10/10 · 19 November 2018]

Tom Hanks = Great Entertainment. And as always expected in any Tom Hanks project, top notch supporting cast, direction, sets, score, costume, makeup. It has to be an all time high to get to work with the fabulous and legendary two-time Oscar winner!

This is an absolutely adorable movie. The story is plausible and optimistic, the feel-good ending is perfect, and the in-between is well worth the time to watch. Julie Roberts is just right as the burnt out college professor inspired by her middle-aged Speech 217 student, Larry Crowne. This film made street scooters super cool. And lots of cute college kids and familiar faces like George Takei, Bryan Cranston, Cedric The Entertainer, Taraji P Henson and Rita Wilson bring in an even more enthusiastic two thumbs up. Enjoy it!

It's Christmas, Eve (2018 TV Movie)

Predictable, Clichéd Christmas Vehicle For LeAnn Rimes

[2/10 · 15 November 2018]

Tis the season, and it's Hallmark's season to make bank. So here is LeAnn Rives as co-producer of a really perfectly Clichéd Christmas movie. She will never be an Oscar winner, and someone should take her aside and tell her to stick with singing and songwriting. The acting is so pathetic and corny, and there is less than zero chemistry between her character "Eve" and the male lead played by Tyler Hynes. Snoozer in the first 15 minutes, If LeAnn said "amazing" or "imporDant" one more time in this silly film, I may have thrown a stone statute through my flat-screen. On a side note, did anyone else see a physical resemblance between Tyler Hynes and a young Matthew Perry? Of course none of MP'S talent or comedic timing, but from height and certain angles of his face are really close. Skip this one, folks. It's really awful.

Tribute (2009 TV Movie)

THE WORST NORA ROBERTS ADAPTATION, EVER

[1/10 · 14 July 2018]

If you want to see this Lifetime film, its because you (1) Like Nora Roberts; and/or (2) Read Tribute by Nora Roberts. Don't waste your time or money. Nora Roberts is a superb storyteller, and the novel is fantastic. This adaptation is the worst, hands down, ever. Not only is the acting a joke, but there is no development of the characters. Of course there isn't time to do that in 90 minutes. If you hadn't read the book, you would be clueless as to details: such as what happened to Steve? Why was Mr. Hennessey in prison? Countless other details just, poof, missing and unexplained. I can only imagine Nora Roberts; disappointment; however, she was paid handsomely for the rights to the story, so on to the next. The only redeeming grace was the beautiful property portrayed as Janet's farm. Gorgeous. But it wasn't located in Virginia, as Nora Roberts set it, that's for sure. Virginia doesn't have moss in the trees - so it was obviously somewhere south of there. THIS FILE WAS BEYOND DISAPPOINTING. I wouldn't have given it one star, except there was no option to assign negative numbers. THE WORST, EVER.

The Christmas Trap (2018)

Cute - But A Big Mess

[3/10 · 15 January 2018]

The young actresses, Sierra McCormick and Brighton Sharbino, are adorable and do their best with what they're given in this production. The film's premise is not original, and there are far too many holes and continuity issues, but was never meant to be nominated for any prestigious awards. It's just one of dozens of schmaltzy Christmas movies for 2017, for entertainment purposes only.

Two young girls meet for the first time, and hatch an idea during a flight to Oklahoma to switch places to visit families they have never met. Jesse (Sharbino) and Cara (Mccormick) couldn't be more different in appearance, upbringing, style, everything. The film was released in 2017 so everyone has smart phones, including Jesse and Cara; yet the families had no idea what these kids looked like beforehand?

Jesse lives the highlife with Cara"s family, while Cara slums it with Jesse's "kin'. Jesse is nearly a full head taller than Cara, yet Caras clothes fit Jesse perfectly. No one ever calls to check on either of these kids. The deception is never questioned by either family.

Bo Derek, an executive producer of the film, stars as Elsa, Caras stiff, snobbish grandmother. Thanks to the miracle of plastic surgery, she looks incredibly young, but her acting leaves a lot to be desired after decades of experience. Shelley Long, as Jesse's grandmother, hasn't fared so well in appearance after all these years. The long, stringy hair is just awful. She was a hit on "Cheers" in the 70s, but this film was anything but for her career. The remainder of the cast fit well, with nothing exceptional or critically awful.

The entire film falls apart, literally, at the end. Worst finale of any of the Christmas offerings for 2017. Whomever approved script must have been on too many meds because it was beyond ridiculous. Uncomfortable, badly acted, unrealistic from any point of view. The deception is revealed with no one really concerned that the families have been duped all along. The conclusion was a silly country-style song lip synced by the cast.

Enjoy it as just a partially cute Christmas tale.

Christmas Belle (2013 TV Movie)

ZERO CHEMISTRY - NO Christmas!

[1/10 · 30 July 2017]

Absolutely the WORST. There is LESS than no chemistry between the leads Belle and Hunter They go from being gruff enemies to love in a split second after an abusive session with Hunter almost halfway into the film. The estate manager, Angie, intervenes and -voila- bad behavior gone poof! Background music never stops and has no holiday feel at all. The story is lame and Tony's pursuit of Belle using her scatterbrained father is dated and ridiculous. This movie has as much Christmas appeal as Armageddon. Hayley Duff isn't a terrible actress, but she moves like a cardboard cutout doll with no depth. Her look for most of the film is matronly, shes overweight for such a young woman, and her prominent nose is three times the size of the male lead -- well just about everyone else in the cast. Maybe some acting lessons and an appointment with Hillary's plastic surgeon...

Rodeo & Juliet (2015)

Adorable, Predictable, Improbable Holiday Fun for Everyone

[5/10 · 30 April 2017]

This is a cute film. Its far-fetched and predictable, but no one promised Zefirelli. There's romance galore for the leading ladies: both Juliet and her hot-shot, New York romance writer mom, Karen (Nora Roberts?) Right off we see middle-aged mom Karen styled as a Juliet wannabe: with ripped denim and leggings, boots, colored bras, eyelash extensions and overly long, age inappropriate hair extensions. It doesn't work. The look is just too young and grunge for a middle-aged mom. In a short time (the film is only 1:47) the two unexpectedly find true love and happiness with a couple of local cowboys, with dreams realized and even the promise of happily ever after. Proving you can go home - back to your uneducated dumped fiancée from 20 years past - who has obviously packed on some weight since then. Its good, clean holiday fun with just a few continuity issues and hiccups thrown in.

This is supposed to be Christmas: at least a traditional school/holiday break in early to mid-December. The filming locations aren't even close. The ranch is decked out in lush green grass and full, leafy trees. Its sunny and everyone is wearing light jackets. The film opens somewhere in NYC, presumably the Upper West Side, where streets would be covered in dirty slushy snow, and the houses and streets decorated to the max for the Christmas season. Not a single snowflake, wreath, Salvation Army shaker or Christmas light in sight. Juliet's age and educational stats are never revealed. As they travel southbound, Juliet admits to submitting assignments with only one minute to spare on the last acceptable day. She appears to be beyond high school age with the long eyelash extensions and sophisticated leather jacket and booties. Regardless, whatever she was pursuing in or around the Big Apple, Juliet joyfully casts it aside to accept a rough rider cowgirl role as part of neighboring rancher Attenborogh's pro-circuit rodeo empire. It's really quite an accomplishment to be charged with training young horses, presumably Attenborough's livelihood, having only three short weeks of barrel training experience on her resume.

Juliet enjoys her less plastic, new found friendships with Monty and Nan and Rodeo. So much so that she casually dumps her old gal pals in New York City after only three weeks, presumably due to a lack of cell signal and the subsequent inability to FaceTime and Snapchat. The judge tells them right off the bat that cell service is all but nonexistent on the ranch. There IS WiFi in town. This is the same crooked judge who misrepresents that Karen's father died intestate. But, miraculously, and it IS Christmas after all, Karen finds a strong signal in the dining room of the house. She does have to keep the money coming in, with her deceased father's ranch upside down in debt.

Ah, the magic of the Season strikes once again when Karen and Hugh get back together and engaged. Where does that leave Juliet and Monty? Are the four of them going to shack up together at the ranch? Hugh is responsible for providing for Monty, so where is he going to live? Yeah, this film is wrought with silliness and too many unanswered questions, but the story is sweet, clean, G-rated, for any age group, and ends positively. Isn't that what a good Christmas classic should ultimately accomplish? Enjoy!

Miami Vice: Definitely Miami (1986) Season 2, Episode 12

Pretty Actors All In A Row

[10/10 · 21 April 2017]

Who else but sun tanned, blonde highlighted, tortie Ray Ban-wearing Don Johnson could pull off PINK or LILAC pants and made them look HOT? "Definitely Miami" made me yearn for the time when a bed with huge palm tree four posters was considered to be stylish and cutting edge bedroom décor. Miami style.

"They're running a game on me, Rico, setting me up. I mean they're setting Burnette up. I gotta see this thing through to the end." How profound. The line was nearly as goofy and difficult to handle as Sonny's facial expressions while ogling sunbathing at the hotel pool in the opening scenes. Instead of 'pulling his badge and taking them down' all Crockett/Burnett has to do is reveal that he earns a whopping $30K a year with Miami Dade PD. Easy peasy with no gunfire or bloodshed!

'They' are psychotic dangerous drug dealer Charlie Basset (a young Ted Nugent looking exceptionally wild, with hot beachy waved long dark hair and all baby oiled shirtless chest), and his stunning wife Callie (French super hottie Arielle Dombasle). Here's the setup: She lures in rich men who are willing to meet her at a sand pit with satchels full of cash (nothing suspicious about THAT, right?) and he does them in with a gunshot and sand. The sand part was was a marvel in itself: no heavy equipment anywhere, yet an entire Porsche Carrera disappeared under a falling sand dune.

Awesome soundtrack opening with Nugent's huge 80s rock hit "Angry Young Man" and ending with Godley & Creme's "Cry". This episode is fabulous escapist entertainment. Arielle Dombasle was, hands down, the hottest babe ever to guest on Miami Vice. She's timeless. Her entire look, including the swimwear, could be plopped seamlessly right into any resort in 2017.

I vote this the best episode of "Vice", period. It has it all - a good script, beautiful visuals, a big budget, fast cars, a great looking cast, a superb soundtrack. "Definitely Miami" was just that.

And hey, I'm going to use Callie's tee shirt in a bowl of ice cold Perrier when sunning in Cabo real soon. Timeless!

The Nine Lives of Christmas (2014 TV Movie)

Hallmark Scores Big With This Sweet Holiday Charmer

[10/10 · 18 April 2016]

Holiday magic with kitties and a male lead (Superman Brandon Routh) who really seems to love cats! This is one of Hallmark's better Christmas offerings. Its full of sweetness and lovely romance.

The only negative is that its supposed to be set in Portland, Oregon during the Christmas season. Winter in Portland is generally cool, cloudy and rainy. All of the outside scenes for this film are filled with brilliant green grass, trees with heavy foliage and bright sunlight. To be sure its late spring or summer somewhere. The filming took place in Canada; seems the scouts could have come up with a more 'Christmas-y' Canadian snow scape than the location chosen. Im still baffled as to why the film would advertise Portland in the first place.

Kimberly Sustad as Merilee is just adorable as the kind hearted Vet student who isn't looking for love. She's smart, beautiful and loves animals. Brandon Routh as Zachary is sweet and certainly handsome, but never seems really enamored by Marilee. I appreciate that Hallmark let his character be a normal hard working guy, and not some fancy suit from the manor born. I notice that seems to be a trend in a lot of Hallmark productions, and this was refreshing.

Still, the performances are thoughtfully executed, and both of the lead actors are lovely and talented and a real treat to watch. Gregory Harrison's small supporting role as the Fire Chief and Zachary's friend and mentor, is living proof that some men just get better and more handsome with age!

Put this one on the must watch list for your Christmas movie lineup. Hallmark should take a tip from its own production and make more Christmas offerings like this. This cute film has Nine Lives and then some!

Flaked (2016–2017)

Will Arnett is Not David Duchovny and Venice CA is Trendy Cool

[5/10 · 16 March 2016]

Does anyone else read the obvious shades of 'Californication' in this show? If nothing else, its the primary series television influence. This adult sitcom just so happens (not by random coincidence that is) to be set in trendy Venice (noted: not east of Lincoln). Sadly, is not nearly as cool or edgy as Californication was. Will Arnett isn't as pretty or intelligently quick witted as David Duchovny, and the story lines don't have nearly the substance or intensity. The female lead(London played by Ruth Kearney)is the love interest presence ala Natascha McElone, except much younger and without the super great hair. She actually could be Natascha's real life daughter. Heather Graham, a Californication alum, is cast as "Tilly", Chip's TV star, not yet ex-wife. There's David Sullivan as Chip's best bud and partner in crime, the mirror to Evan Handler as Hank's. I could go on with the side by sides, but viewers can do that for themselves.

Will Arnett is a 45 year old man who lives in his bud's mom's house, rides a bike around the streets of Venice and bums rides because he lost his driving privilege to too many DUIs. He owns what appears to be a non-revenue producing stool making shop, so its difficult to understand how he can afford what has to be crazy rent in a most trendy part of Venice. He's attracted to women at least 15 years younger than himself. Honestly, he's really too old for the hanging out all day and living by the seat of his pants gig, and his friends are also too old for the casual Venice vibe. 45 year old men trying to pass themselves off as stoned 20 something frats are pathetically lame. Its not a terrible show, the writing is passable, and you can get sucked into the predicaments and problems. You can lose 30 minutes an episode without feeling guilty, and the scenery in and around Venice are worth the time.

Finding Christmas (2013 TV Movie)

Finding Christmas is Finding A New Holiday Favorite!

[10/10 · 7 August 2015]

This is an adorable holiday film. The plot is a direct ripoff of "The Holiday" with Jude Law and Cameron Diaz, where two couples suffer breakups at Christmas. Instead, "Finding Christmas" is two dumped but good looking guys from completely different worlds. Through the miracle of house swapping, Sean and Owen adventure completely out of their socioeconomic worlds and personal comfort zones to escape their broken hearts at Christmas. The major differences between this film and it's predecessor duplicate "The Holiday" is the budget, name recognition actors, acting skill set - and this one is set in Manhatten and North Carolina, instead of London and LA. It's predictable, entertaining and, in the never- ending Hallmark holiday movie allure, is all about finding love, happiness and joy at Christmastime.

Despite its flaws and JT Hodges' bizarre Ken-doll hairdo, I love this lovely little holiday romp. Oddly, the mostly Canadian actors all seem so uncomfortable with one another. The dialogue is stilted and dreadfully rushed. It's as if the director was twirling his hands constantly to speed up the pace so they can get the entire film before the budget clock stops. Strangely, male lead JT Hodges as Owen, is a country singer in real life. His turn as actor seems the most natural and comfortable of the entire cast. By contrast, female lead Tricia Helfer, who plays Owen's sister, Ryan, couldn't be more awkward if she tried. Fortunately she has great teeth, was a Victoria's Secret model, and is super thin and tall - because her biggest acting skill is hiding behind shy, coy smiles. I admire the fact that the film stylists didn't put a lot of extensions in her hair, and let her look more like a country vet than a former supermodel.

I believe the timeline for the entire film is a week or less. In that span of time both leading guys meet and fall for the perfect women, who just so happen to be the two leading girls. The girls are also associated with the two leading men, so it's less confusion all around. You can only wonder how a hot shot NY advertising wizard can stay in NC with a hometown vet, his hearts's love, or the other way around, but that's analyzing the film a little too heavily. Just watch and enjoy it for its simple message and Christmas spirit.