philneil Reviews

Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (2018–2020)

Sabrina The Teenage Musical

[8/10 · 5 February 2020]

Stop it. Just stop this downward spiral into an irredeemable disaster. Why are show producers so out of touch with their audience? Plenty of shows have low ratings and high criticism for being pc woke messes but they astoundingly keep churning them out regardless. Now we have this once wonderfully dark adaptation of a show being violated by shoehorning in bippity-boppity musical sh*ite when it pleases. Enough already!!!!

October Faction (2020)

Mostly terrible terrible editing.

[5/10 · 5 February 2020]

The show is entertaining enough if you can look past the woke, pc nonsense.

I can't help feeling that the unfolding structure was overly speckled with all-too-convenient moments of deus ex-machina, and ridiculous decision making by one of the opposing sides, thus enabling the other - whether that it's bad writing or bad editing (or both) is anyone's guess.

I'd watch season 2, if it's offered, only to see if the show improves.

Will & Grace: What a Dump (2020) Season 11, Episode 7

First time Megan is absent. Big mistake!

[5/10 · 19 January 2020]

Not only was Karen missing from this episode and not even mentioned at all but the rest of the show was just plain childish and kinda inane. Gone was the finely tuned slapstick humour only to be replaced with farcical nonsense.

P.S. Jack's husband is so rarely seen that I had forgotten they'd ever been married.

The Small Hand (Ghost Story) (2019)

Incredibly dull.

[4/10 · 26 December 2019]

The direction of this adaptation of Susan Hill's "Ghost Story" moves at a glacial pace. It is also heavily riddled with very corporeal apparitions appearing before the protagonist thus negating any real suspense or apprehension you, the viewer, may have had.

A big disappointment. I would only recommend this film as a night-time sedative.

A Dog for Christmas (2015)

Zzzzzzz.......

[1/10 · 12 December 2019]

I've rated one star to try and counteract the currently fake 8 star rating.

There seems to be a plot line missing from this movie. Also, no dog.

The lighting is shocking for a Christmas movie, it's harsh and cold whereas it should be warm and comforting,

Dean Cain must have been desperate to take on this turkey.

Borley Rectory (2017)

Beautiful but boring.

[6/10 · 14 November 2019]

This looks amazing but the dialogue is somewhat lacking. There are periods of silence and inactivity that would test most attention spans.

Narrated adequately by Julian Sands and performed well by the actors; yet there is no passion, no sense of excitement or fervour for the story that is told.

6/10 stars - for presentation and production value.

Brightburn (2019)

'Antithesis Superman' - Is this a joke?

[4/10 · 5 July 2019]

This movie is played and marketed as a straight-up horror but comes off more of a parody - and a bad one at that. The budget is estimated to have been around $7M but they obviously didn't spend much of that on script writing as the dialogue is weak and very often laughable. Speaking of laughable - the deaths in this movie would not feel out of place in a Final Destination offering. If you can, watch this turkey online for free somewhere, don't waste a penny on it.

Stranger Things: Chapter One: Suzie, Do You Copy? (2019) Season 3, Episode 1

Never dull.

[9/10 · 4 July 2019]

It's witty, funny, charming, nostalgic, and occasionally scary. I can honestly state that I'm never bored watching this show (even while binge-watching it).

One episode down - now on to the next 7 😎👍

The Order (2019–2020)

Love it!

[8/10 · 21 March 2019]

I found this to be highly entertaining and, in my opinion, better than The Magicians. Many may be judging this series by the first few episodes but it just got better & better as the season progressed and as the characters developed. There were some wonderful one-liners and ridiculously funny situations giving it an air of a black comedy, yet just subtle enough as to not turn into farcical romp. I look forward to season 2.

GH5 (2017)

Not low budget - no budget!

[12 February 2019]

I think this was filmed using an iPhone. The sound quality is shocking. The editing is atrocious. The acting is wooden & hammy. There is better amateur stuff on You Tube.

Gossip Girl (2007–2012)

2 stars for entertainment value.

[2/10 · 12 December 2018]

Eeesh! Vapid, predictable, nonsensical, offensive nonsense.

OTT does not even begin to describe this 'tv show' - it is 'Ugly Betty' meets the French & Saunders skit 'House of Idiot'.

The whole show is driven by the same plot device - someone being in the right place at the right time to overhear or see something they shouldn't. How convenient.

It's not even self-aware. Is it a comedy? Is it a parody? Is it an SNL skit? Who the F knows?!?! But one thing I do know - it is an insult on intelligence.

Spoiler alert - all the rich idiots spout the line "Erm, hellur, I have money!" every other sentence. Ok, that was a lie - but the sledgehammer they use to get this aspect across, it may as well be true.

The Mist (2017)

Fantastic sedative.

[4/10 · 7 December 2018]

If you have trouble sleeping, pop an episode of The Mist on... et voila you'll be in a boredom induced coma in no time!

There are 10 episodes of this dull as ditch-water teen drama nonsense - yes 10, so no wonder nothing ever seems to happen.

As many other reviewers have stated there are no characters worth caring about in this snoozefest, so making 99.9% of the narrative about their mundane domestic backstories just adds insult to injury. Any viewer making it to the finale to find out who lives and who dies deserves a medal.

4/10 - 4 for assisting with my insomnia.

The Nun (2018)

Cool setting, but...

[5/10 · 12 November 2018]

...despite all that they still managed to mess up the atmosphere. It could have been so much more eerie! Something was definitely lacking. Perhaps a build on the sense of dread? Or further character development to allow at least some empathy with regard to the lead players? But a it was, I just felt 'meh' throughout.

Big budget, small effort. 5/10 - A blight on The Conjuring canon.

Charmed: Exorcise Your Demons (2018) Season 1, Episode 4

Yawn.

[4/10 · 9 November 2018]

4 episodes in and I've finally added my rating. 4/10

Bland characters, feminism shoved down our throats, and... BONUS, the elder witch has the ability to mute Leo, erm Harry, when he's mansplaining!

Want a way to ruin a show? Follow this method and make it 'woke'! SMH.

Will & Grace: Who's Sorry Now? (2018) Season 10, Episode 4

Meet halfway.

[9/10 · 28 October 2018]

I was thinking to myself, halfway through this episode, that this storyline is yet more affirmation that Will & Grace would be nothing without Jack & Karen - then, halfway through, the tone shifted...

It is after all a sitcom, first and foremost, and that's why Jack & Karen shine with their slapstick antics. However, the Will and Grace scenes in this episode eventually took it to a higher degree. I was moved twice - firstly by comedy duo McFarland & Walker; then more so (with a lot more depth) via Mr. Truman & Ms. Adler.

Before Someone Gets Hurt (2018)

Annoying.

[3/10 · 22 October 2018]

I really can't say too much about the plot as I only managed to endure 22 minutes of this movie. The premise is - they're about to do a paranormal investigation within a house, which has more than grizzly past, for a show called 'Ghost Investigations' (inspired title, huh!?!). Although they're supposed to be semi-professionals (who have the opportunity to have their show produced on the SyFy channel) they seem to set up THE WORST cameras ever! These cameras capture not a colour image, no, but a delightful blue hue (in broad daylight) with lovely wavy interference for added crappiness. But that's not my main gripe, every time there is a switch from camera to camera they've added a static glitch effect with a sharp cutting static noise, EVERY FRICKIN' TIME and even then some when nothing is happening! This, for me, made it unwatchable.

Doctor Who: The Woman Who Fell to Earth (2018) Season 11, Episode 1

Am I watching Doctor Who...?

[6/10 · 15 October 2018]

... is the question I always ask myself after each regeneration.

When this series was rebooted (so-to-speak), with Christopher Eccleston as the titular hero, I was engaged once more in this time-travelling, dimension shift drama.

I absolutely love the direction this show has travelled, with Tennant, Smith, and Capaldi all answering my initial question - 'Am I watching Doctor Who?'

So with Whittaker now at the forefront of this iconic show, I ask myself the same question...

and the answer is absolutely a 'yes'!

She has masterfully made the role her own without the pitfalls it can bring. By that, I mean becoming a whole new character, plonked within a beloved series.

Despite the writing being sub-par, the new Doctor has still manged to harmonize to the show's core atmosphere, theme and ethos.

Castle Rock: Henry Deaver (2018) Season 1, Episode 9

What did I just watch?

[6 September 2018]

The jury is out on this one. I'll hold my opinion until the end.

I just hope this is not going to leave us with more questions than answers.

TV series these days seem to drag & drift, back & forth, and if it were not for the fact that they are streamed, then most would be nigh on impossible to follow.

The series as a whole is plodding on, but it also crawls incoherently backwards. One would assume that retaining an audience would be paramount yet this series seems to go out of its way to be tedious, unfathomable & intolerable.

Even if answers are ultimately provided will any one still be around to witness them?

Hereditary (2018)

Wuh?

[6/10 · 27 August 2018]

This movie is far from boring, as some reviewers have concluded; solid acting, eerie cinematography, and almost a decent script makes this an overall decent movie... UNTIL ABOUT THE FINAL 20 minutes. I would have rated this higher than a 5 (quite possibly a 7) but the film's conclusion felt totally out of place.

If they had just cut out the last few scenes of nonsense & had the mother sacrifice herself for her family (what's left of it!), I'd imagine there'd be fewer reviews asking for 2 hours of their life back.

Bodyguard (2018)

I now have an ulcer.

[8/10 · 27 August 2018]

Fantastic opening episode. I can't believe some have rated this lower than a 5. My stomach was in knots, especially for the first 20 minutes. The best way I can describe it is that it has the holding one's breath suspense of 'The Night Manager' mixed with an uneasy, on-edge feel of 'Spooks'.

I can't wait to see the next episode.

Blair Witch (2016)

Second viewing.

[5/10 · 21 August 2018]

After I watched this movie the first time I rated it a 6 as I found it mildly entertaining. I recently watched it again and couldn't help but notice cheap jump scare after cheap jump scare. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, they used the same type of unfulfilling shock tactic 3 times in succession. THREE TIMES! I am of course discussing how it seems to be totally possible for someone to be able to walk up to another character, stepping on all those woodsy twigs and leaves and wotnot, and not be heard AT ALL until said someone is practically on top of the other person. Cheap and nasty thrills for the sake of nothing... NOTHING! I've since reevaluated my rating to a 5.

The Originals: When the Saints Go Marching In (2018) Season 5, Episode 13

13 Episodes Too Many.

[6/10 · 5 August 2018]

Way back when I watched the season 4 finale I had to research if the show was over for good, because THAT episode felt like an ending. But no, 13 pointless episode later, we're given this mediocre offering to an otherwise great show. It took me two attempts to get through this 'grande' finale - not because I was an emotional wreck; not because I wanted to savour every last second of this supernatural soap opera; no, - but because I fell asleep. Yep - I fell asleep. That's how much I enjoyed this episode.

Open Windows (2014)

Absolutely dire.

[4/10 · 9 July 2018]

This movie was seemingly written by an 8yr old. The premise is ridiculous. The dialogue is like something lifted directly from a Scooby-Doo script then delivered in the style of a Batman bad guy. If you're about to watch this movie online, do yourself a favour... close that window!

Geostorm (2017)

Big Budget Bore.

[4/10 · 21 June 2018]

An estimated $120m was spent on what exactly? Script? Not likely! Cast? Hmm... I think not. Special effects? I've seen better for a lot less money!

You honestly need to leave your brain at the door to get through this movie. It hasn't ended yet and I'm already typing this review. If you can perceive this not as a disaster movie but as a fantasy then you might make it until the end credits.

The Expanse: Fight or Flight (2018) Season 3, Episode 1

I don't recall it being this witty.

[9/10 · 18 June 2018]

Strong season opener. More often than not, a series can lose it's edge season to season, but this was as stalwart as ever. I honestly had a few laugh out loud moments due to this fine sci-fi drama having well written, witty dialogue.