jmc1969 Reviews

A Quiet Place Part II (2020)

I gave it 2 stars ONLY because the movie had an ending.

[2/10 · 2 July 2021]

Who the fk gave this piece of trash garbage 7-10 stars?? Are you out of your MIND?? This was the most boring CRAPPY LOW BUDGET piece of TRASH i've seen in a LONG time... NOTHING new happened in 2 that didnt happen in 1. This was NOTHING more than a continuation from part 1, which could have been summed up by just adding an additional 15 minutes to the first movie.... So we found out they cant swim?? WHAT A REVELATION!!.. Producers of this garbage should be disbarred from ever creating a film again!.....Stay away from the garbage, instead watch toast cook in the toaster or water boil--something more exciting.... I am resigned to NOT watching the next one..

Army of the Dead (2021)

the overall rating of this movie has been manipulated

[2/10 · 21 June 2021]

After seeing this "obama" made , feminist laden piece of garbage I started going thru the reviews, and went through about the first 100.....and about 90% of the reviews were between a 1 and 3 ...yet this got a 5.8?? Someone tally them up and prove that "obama" controlled liberal netflix is manipulating the review scores here....makes me sick.

Mortal Kombat (2021)

very very boring.

[3/10 · 3 May 2021]

Whoever gave this good ratings never seen the older cheesier ones... This one sucke, it was boring, the characters were all unlikeable, and nothing special ...NO character development.. I almost fell asleep no joke...very very bad movie. A 3 rating is generous.

Yeti: Giant of the 20th Century (1977)

i'm gonna make this simple...

[1/10 · 11 April 2021]

Whoever gave this 9 out of 10, or 10 out of 10, which is half the reviews here, needs to be shot.....theres no other way around it..

The Captive: The Longest Drive 2 (1976)

WTF...why has NO ONE reviewed this title? CHUMPS

[8/10 · 16 March 2021]

Its a geuinely good film....TRY IT......its not bad honestly.

The Devil Below (2021)

Even Bill Paxton couldnt save this mess..

[2/10 · 9 March 2021]

This was quite possibly one of the worst movies i've ever seen. Ya I know there were "worse" B movies out there i' m sure, but for a "non B" movie, this is honestly maybe the worst ever.. The story is so stupid it makes no sense.. Why wouldnt they just call in the army to investigate the hole with the creatures ? Bill Paxtons "reasoning " was , no one would believe it... Ok, take a DAMM PICTURE WITH YOUR CELL PHONE OR A VIDEO then SHOW THEM....GEEZZ.....You can also tell when the creatures are low budget, and not detail oriented, because they start with the "shaking of the camera" crap and low ight, as if it was filmed with a camcorder from 1983.. This could have been a gem, but instead it was a dumpster fire , hot mess, garbage pile of cow dung... You also can tell where the producer tried to be a "diversity" and women empowerment flair to this movie that made it just all the worse......Please stear clear of this garbage I watched it soyou dont have to.

My Soul to Keep (2019)

This was a "drama" , certainly not a horror...

[5/10 · 25 January 2021]

Wtf did i just watch? for those of yu who gave this TEN stars, your either from the production crew, or smoking black tar heroin. I liked the actors, and they did build it up to be suspensful--but that never came....The house was a 3 million dollar house.....Not a scary basement at ALL....I grew up with a dirt floor, dirt wall basement, with cobwebs and the works....Now THAT was a scary basement......This was a joke......and wtf was with the ending??

Les amazones du temple d'or (1986)

The Mother of All POS'S...

[1/10 · 14 January 2021]

I really dont know where to begin, or end.... Bad bad acting, bad costumes BAD WIGS, bad sets (the golden walls in the mine is so obviously painted tin foil), ...Out of the 11 or so "amazon" women, not one of them looks like she ever worked out a DAY in her life.. Flab, banana boobs, cottage cheese arses, ...If it cost more than ten bucks and a pizza party to make this movie, i'd be shocked...........its really really bad.. Filmmakers, watch this movie please so you know what directioin NOT to go on ...

Chandon Pictures: Run Bitch Run (2009) Season 2, Episode 2

I'm the ONLY person that even rated this movie. Do the math!

[1/10 · 6 January 2021]

The name alone intrigued me, so I watched it (well ten mins of it anyway) on Tubi for free..... I STILL want my money back!! Awful, atrocious, not even worth watchin for a laugh. Thought at least the "school girls" would be hot, be they were fat, washed up strippers you would see on the "edge of town" strip bar.

3022 (2019)

Just wanted to make a small point

[2/10 · 19 November 2020]

This movie wasnt "horrible", but kate walsh FKIN pissed me off BIGTIME....When the two bad guys were trying to take over the ship, and the one guy was strangling her, but then he stopped cold, and realized he "wasnt' a bad guy and couldnt murder someone, and got offer her and recanted pretty much, BUT THEN that btch takes a pipe and smashes the poor guy over the head? THEN when she knocks him out she bashes him another 5-6 times to make sure hes dead? WTF ? And shes the "protaganist" in the movie? the "good guy" so to say? I'd mess that btch up if i was there......Really pissed me off when the guy gave her a chance, then she turned around arrogantly like she "fought him off" and then won?? i dont think so KATE !..PS...hollywood wanted to remind us that ALL white women in the future only want black guys....Washed up, older, ugly, but white women still only want black guys....Well, if you live in the hollywood universe anyway

Terror at Bigfoot Pond (2020)

my eyes cannot believe what i saw..

[1/10 · 14 November 2020]

Theres so so much to write, but its 2am and i want to give a proper roasting to this monstrosity ,so will write more tomorrow and thoroughly trash this heap of dung.....in the meantime DO NOT watch this trash if you come across it.... AS PROMISED MY NEXT DAY FOLLOW UP REVIEW: at first I was going to say NO ONE PLEASE EVER EVER watch this movie, but after completeing it, i now changed my stance to EVERYONE MUST watch this movie... Why you ask? because until you watch this piece of non-existent budget, cow dung of a movie you can never ever appreciate even a "low budget" movie ever again. if you were drunk, high, and on black tar heroin, using a camcorder from 1983 , the quality would still be better.. when the one chick started flashing her "chest" in the beginning of the film, i was for the first time watching a movie "pleading" for her to put her shirt back on...Then the group gets naked in what could ONLY be described as a drainage ditch on the side of a road 20x20 sewage overflow pit. Seriously, they are all standing in a cirlce in the middle of a filthy , nasty mud pit that someone obviously filled with a garden hose because they couldnt find a suitable location with a real lake i'm guessin? I actually said to myself in the beginning when they were all standing around, whos the 'kinda' hot chick, until the one chick introduced "it " as her boyfriend.... The soundtrack consisted of a 9 year old striking a single key on a "play skool" plastic keyboard piano. Have you ever watched a really really bad movie when very drunk, and said "wow this isnt that bad'----Well, i was pretty drunk when i watched this and still thought THIS IS REALLY BAD. Honestly, im not just trying to rag on a movie that was low budget, poor acting, no sets, and a guy parading around in a 38 dollar monkey costume for the heck of it. This movie is hands down, NO JOKE, the absolute worst movie i've ever seen in my life. This INCLUDES "fan films' on youtube made by teenagers.. I dont even know how the heck this movie made it to Tubi TV, but trust me you really really need to watch this, so you also can comment on this movie. If we dont band together to warn others, then we are all guilty of letting this type of horrific garbage to be made. Please, lets make sure this type of film never, never neverrrr happens again... thank you.

2067 (2020)

Just awful.. Awful...

[1/10 · 4 November 2020]

Is this what men are like in the future?? blubbering and crying every minute of the day? Geezz......seriously i actually got PISSED OFF at how much crying this dude does.......Pathetic, weak, beta male of the future i guess, started when Trump lost the re-election and college pukes took over the world.

Suburban Sasquatch (2004 Video)

Still dont know if this film was made as a joke?

[1/10 · 24 August 2020]

Film was made by high schoolers as a class project. F minus. Seriously, was this movie made as a real movie or is someone still snickering about how people really thought this was a real movie?

Scare Attraction (2019)

Its a good thing TUBI TV has a fast forward feature

[1/10 · 22 August 2020]

.......so you could first of all, get through the 6 minutes of painfully slow opening credits of no names.....Also to fast forward through most of the movie....I'm tired of these no talent wonders that took a drama or theater class in high school (for one semester) and now think they are "film makers"?...The only thing i can think of is all these "directors" seen the Blair Witch , which took about 35 dollars to make, then made millions and millions, and think they are going to recreate that? NOT GONNA HAPPEN....I wish "straight to VHS" term was still around, because I would certainly be using it here... Dont watch this piece of dung movie , with actors that should NEVER be called "actors"..

Frenzy (2018 TV Movie)

I didnt want to review this movie--I HAD TO..

[1/10 · 14 September 2019]

I was having a good friday nite with my gf, gettin pizza, having a few beers, and this movie looked like a "nice shark type" movie.. What a mistake....I looked at my gf while we were about 20 mins into this movie and told her , "I dont want to review this movie, but i GOT TO".. Oh God, where do i begin...I think I lost it when the "sharks" (even though they actually look like Orca's with shark mouths) started jumping out of the water in front of the small 8 foot inflatable life raft but yet NEVER going for or attempting to easily destroy the life raft with one fell swoop.. The acting was awful and atrocious. The sharks moved in the water as if propelled with jet boosters on their backs..It was an uncomfortable , somewhat irritating experience just watching how badly the CGI made the sharks move.. Seriously these cgi effects were pre 90's... Fast forward an hour, and the "star of the show" is on a wooden life raft, and makes a mad dash swim for the speed boat that was at least 2000 feet away, but someone in her "special olympics" swimming prowess, she somehow outswims the incredibly fast shark to the boat, and then, the piece de resistance---she utters some words that were almost exactly like what Chief Brody said in Jaws I, (smile you son of a btch), and then launches a (air tank?) out of her arms being cradled like a baby, with a dull butter knife duct taped to the end of it into the sharks brain....As if the rocket propelled tank wouldnt have gone thru the sharks brain had it not been for the dull butter knife taped to it?? ...This movie was truly in my top 5 "worst movies of all time" list....Please please dont go see it....I'd rather swim in the middle of the Atlantic , with a raw pork chop tied around my ankle , at midnight than to have to watch something this bad again...

Creed II (2018)

Begging you to read MY REVIEW of this title.

[1/10 · 20 February 2019]

Absolutely freaking HORRIBLE movie.. Actin was awful. Soundtrack unlike Rocky 1 through 4, was AWFUL.....garbage movie.. A 5'11 160lb skinny black guy beats up a RIPPED 6'5 250lb HOUSE of muscle...NOt even in the DC UNIVERSE could this happen!!...please please protest this garbage moive..Stallone sold OUT by even being in this movie! awful!

Sicilian Vampire (2015)

a total shame

[1/10 · 12 February 2019]

An incredible older all star team of actors.. However ,the movie was very very slow paced, and didnt live up to a vampire movie expectations. For this kind of talent , the movie should have been much better.

Bigfoot Country (2017)

If you love good bigfoot movies--Stay away from this!

[1/10 · 8 February 2019]

Just pure and utter garbage...Acting is horrible, budget was made on about 38 dollars. Characters are weakly developed, and poorly delivered lines. The "bigfoot" costume must have been so awful because at NO POINT during the film do they show bigfoot "without" the camera being intentionally blurred... And i mean "really bad". The ending could have saved the movie a bit, but even that was gawd awful and made no sense......Id recommend you see this movie if you want to just stare in amazement at how directors could really put this kind of garbage out.

Halloween (I) (2018)

if it wasnt for Will Patton ..

[1/10 · 26 January 2019]

This movie would have sucked.. Jamie Lee is washed up, poor acting, and was the 2nd only reason to watch this movie. Michael Myers in ANY OTHER Halloween film was was this 6 foot 8 inch HOUSE of a HUGE monster. OK, In this movie he was 5 foot 6 about 175lbs of pure "old guy". He was gray, out of shape, no muscle and I could probably kick his a$$ with a loaf of bread. Truly pathetic.The killing spree he was on truly did not coincide with his inept, weak, substandard physical size or prowess. I dont know if this movie was a small budget or just "made' to appear that way, but I could have made better with a camcorder--no joke..Again, I will repeat if Will Patton was not in this movie it would be not even worth watching on DVD or Redbox..And the other main cop in the movie who was Will Pattons partner I would equate to the "crazy mailman" in the movie Funny Farm, he looked like him, he talked like him, and the acting was horrible....It sucked, dont watch it, dont waste your life or 2 hours on a movie that should have been a blockbuster that truly sucked balls. Its not even worth renting, take my advice.

Coherence (2013)

If you like movies about beta males, and unintelligent liberal types...

[1/10 · 4 January 2019]

Then watch this movie....The half a dozen guys in this movie are the biggest "beta" males i've ever seen.. Ya know the type, they break over 40K a year then get together at each others houses each week to play "board" games and drink wine, and talk about "social issues" pretending to know anything about anything.. The women are superficial , pretentious, elitist attitudes, and very low education obviously in real life(and in the character portrayals).. The men are true cuckolds..........and the story line of this movie is absolutely horrible....Never seen garbage this bad in my life...Its definitely a knock off though, trying to emulate one of those movies that make you "think"...Well the only thing i thought about when watching this is "how could a movie be so horrible " .....please, stear clear of the trash heap.

The Shannara Chronicles (2016–2017)

watch this if your pro feminist

[1/10 · 5 February 2018]

Well read the books when i was like 15,and couldnt wait to see the show when it aired last season (was ok at best), but wanted to watch season 2, and after 15 minutes of watching it i found out that it was made by the same people who believe hillary clinton would be president, and that women should rule the world----made also by cuckolds who want to try to portray women as not only equal to men, but stronger.....Again, dont watch this unless your a complete feminist/feminist lover.....First 15 mins of the show was nothing but "empowered" women acting all tough ..

The Man from Earth: Holocene (2017)

Unless your a liberal dont watch this trash.

[1/10 · 22 January 2018]

I watched the first one and thought it was entertaining, so I figured give the second one a shot too. As I started watching this though I got the feeling very shortly on that it was made by a liberal, for liberals, and is completely anti-christian, and strives to make you question your beliefs in God. The first clue should have been when there were 4-5 main characters in this film and two being females (one asian at that), two black guys, and one white guy who is completely against the Catholic church. The movie tries to put on heart felt music in the backround while forcing down your throat God doesnt exist, nor did Jesus ever exist(as we know of him from the Bible). Its truly anti God propaganda garbage definitely without a doubt made by liberals. If your a person of faith, or even on the fence, dont waste your time watching this garbage which will try to stear you away from your belief in God...

The Emeryville Experiments (2016)

absolutely atrocious---all good reviews are fake

[1/10 · 31 January 2017]

I don't know where to begin, i actually had to pause the movie and go onto my IMDb account just to post. It was THAT awful. The acting is horrible, starts out with a car crashing into a tree, but you don't actually see if crash, just parked 'near' the tree , and it looks like they lit off a smoke bomb in the front of the car to make it look like a --radiator leak maybe? Then the poor acting chump that they hit with the car, they walk over to after hitting him, and as he's lying there unconscious someone yells out "get him some water'?....WTF........seriously, if your burning in a fire, or suffering dehydration from being afloat at sea for a month, or on survivor island being rescued, then YES, by all means "get him some water"....When you hit someone with your car , on a rainy day, in a damp forest, you Don't yell "get him some water".....Look folks, the movies goes even more downhill from there, please don't watch this garbage, and i encourage all who read this to post a negative review about this POS movie that should have not only never made it to DVD, but should have never even made it my TV screen...I'm sorry it did, and you will be too.

Lost in the Pacific (2016)

I just had to post....

[1/10 · 13 January 2017]

Wow, i don't know where to begin. Its not often i'll even take the time to post on here, but when i see a movie this gawd awful, I feel it my civic duty to do so. What seemed like a good start to a delightful "movie nite' turned out to be anything but that. I figured hey, Superman is in it, cant be that bad or low budget like some of the other SYFY movies out there, but I was wrong--dead wrong. First of all, are they trying to mimic Steven Seagall, when he was a cook in the movie (cant remember the name off hand) and he ended up being a bad-ass navy seal on the aircraft carrier? I think that was the theme they were going for, but Routh was neither convincing, nor a good actor in this movie, his lines were minimal at best. Probably the very worst element of this movie was the "cats". Not only did they NOT look real, and were obviously low low low grade CGI, but they were about the size of an average house cat, and personally I would have probably tossed out a rubber mouse if they came at me---they were "that" un-intimidating. These were the "monsters" of the movie? WOW, i've been more scared of the Gremlins --BEFORE they ate at midnite..And landing a large commercial airliner on a 300-500 foot carrier? Cmon, these planes need at least like half a mile or so to land. If you want a good laugh, then watch this, if you want ANYTHING BUT a good laugh--don't!....

The Fiancé (2016)

utter piece of garbage

[1/10 · 26 November 2016]

i cant even believe this film was made, i don't know where to start to be honest. It has got to be the cheesiest piece of trash i've ever seen!.......I only got through about 15 minutes of it then started fast forwarding it to see if it got good---guess what , it got WORSE if that is possible. The biggest joke of this whole movie is how the punk, loser, pathetic, feminine, homo guy who is like 60 has a hot sexy 28 year old woman who is supposedly his fiancé? Cmon, even if this guy was a billionaire NO WOMAN in the world who wasn't totally disgusting , homely, or over 70 years old would give this pathetic, viagra taking punk a chance..If anyone knows where I can find this guy, let me know, because i would like to laugh in his face and say "really?? like a woman that hot would ever give a LOSER like you a chance"??...anyways, don't watch it, its pure garbage of the worse kind...The bigfoot was a deranged white trash guy wearing a "gilly suit", the flashbacks of him and his supposed "hot fiancé" are about half the movie and make NO sense....Its just plain awful..