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theRetiree
Reviews
The Crown: Ritz (2023)
The Ritz Basement
For a moment i thought I was back in "A Royal Night Out" but upside down with Bel Pawley as the Serious Sister and no surly AWOL airman. And no Chelsea Barracks or Royal Fanboy "Knocking Shop" proprietor. I always suspected that A Royal Night Out was indeed a historical documentary, and now we seem to have a second independent source attesting to the general outlines of the story. If it wasn't really true it clearly should have been, and the two Princesses (or as Bel said: P-1 and P-2) are even wearing the same costumes of pink dress and olive drab uniform. I loved ARNO, and found this little vignette equally lovely and even moving.
But now I wonder: is any of it real?
Napoleon (2023)
What were they thinking?
Just came from a full theater. At the end we got up and left in dead silence. No plot except broad strokes of history, little dialog, no passion, Phoenix seemed catatonic, and the movie was nothing more than set pieces posed to look like romantic paintings by Jacques-Louis David (who actually conveyed more emotion and spirit ). The early climax was Austerlitz, which Scott tried to stage as a replay of the destruction of the Teutonic Knights in Alexander.
Nevsky. Wikipedia says maybe two of three soldiers (of thousands of casualties) died in the frozen ponds.
Waterloo was equally lame, with French cavalry trying unsuccessfully to break the British Squares looking ridiculously like Plains Indians riding in circles attacking a wagon train. (Mel Brooks staged that better.) And Blucher's timely last minute arrival (which Wellington described as a "near run thing") had no tension and no suspense.
Beautiful costumes and sets, a case of thousands, but unsatisfying either as historical spectacle or grand love affair, with Phoenix and the director both giving new meaning to the expression "phoning it in."
Reality (2023)
So now you know what a poly feels like
Two deceptively skillful interrogators slowly circle and close in on their target/victim. How much do they really know, or are they lying? And yes polygraphers will lie to try to smoke out confessions. And no, they are not your friends. The transcripts are fascinating, as is the acting, save for that last FBI guy who condemns her as "hating America.". An explosive and polarizing movie, but as she herself said: she's no Snowden.
A claustrophobic movie set mainly in an empty room, but at least, unlike the East German STASI in Billy Wilder'sgreat "One, Two, Three," they didn't torture her with off-kilter versions of "Itsy, bitsy, tenny, weiney, Yellow polka dot bikini."
The Diplomat (2023)
Who Knew They Could Be Funny?
So, I've loved Keri Russell since Felicity and Austenland, and enjoyed her as the cold-blooded lethal illegal in The Americans, but she's also great as the frazzled fierce but somewhat less lethal Ambassador (I'm three episodes in, where the Secret Service watch but don't intervene in the mayhem.). And her roguish husband is quite a departure for Rufus Sewell from the evil Nazi in "The Man in the High Castle."
Way too much intrigue and deviousness coming too fast, but it is after all entertainment not reality. Keri plays a fish out of water since she's more used to what an old India Hand called the "nightsoil circuit" but sometimes real professionals do get plums like London instead of toiling in the Third World. It's good to remember that our State Department friends are true patriots trying hard in generally thankless and often dangerous jobs. Looking forward to the rest of the series.
The Final Countdown (1980)
And Now we offer you Outlander
An excellent recruiting commercial brought to you courtesy of Admiral Zumwalt's post-Vietnam Navy, complete with much facial hair and shaggy haircuts, wooden acting by the Navy bit players, and astonishing (real) flying scenes. Forty years after Kirk Douglass' CO took a disturbingly passive stance toward saving the Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbor, now comes Diane Gabaldon's Claire Beauchamp Randall Frasier to give another shot at changing history by thwarting Bonnie Prince Charlie in 1746 and, nothing daunted, trying again in America. So forty years after the Final Countdown was made, we get another chance to see time travelers grappling with the challenge of trying to change history--or in Nimitz's case, not really trying very hard at all. My complaint here of course is with the script (I've already commented on the acting, which ranges from rug-chewing by the good senator to wooden by the crew to catatonic by the captain.)
Frankly, I would have hoped that a real naval officer is that position would have been more proactive and aggressive, and streamed ahead without any existential agonizing about their impact on future alternative timelines. In that regard, I share the EXO's frustration and exasperation as the captain looks dashing but acts (for no well-thought-out reason) like a wimp.
So why an 8/10? Because as others have noted, this darn movie remains down-right addictive, and I can't resist re-watching it every chance I get. One striking anachronism, however, is CAG's charmingly patronizing surprise that pretty Congressional staffer has brains. Imagine if the movie were being today when the Navy is fully integrated, as the YouTube video "women of Ronald Reagan" demonstrates, and half the pilots and a large percentage of the officers and crew were every bit as smart and ambitious as Congressional staff--or as Claire Frasier. Oh, and Outlander is pretty good too.
Carrie Pilby (2016)
Second Great Performance by Bel
Absolutely loved her as a ditzy teenage Princess Margaret in "A Royal Night Out" and while this movie is less slapstick, she's equally good or even better here. Love the way she plays off Nathan Lane and Gabriel Byrne, although most of the Byrne scenes are long-distance. She's also great with the boy next door and her blind date, not to mention her hapless efforts to manage her "pets."
While Powley is not a conventional movie starlet beauty, this film really shows her at her best advantage, and it was funny to first see her play a brainless teenage Princess obsessed with the Lindy Hop charming the proprietor of a London "knocking shop," and then be equally convincing as a Harvard brainiac charming both a straying fiance and her neighboring musician. Worth your time.
The Gray Man (2022)
Just About the Worst Movie Ever
And shame on the Czechs for funding this sorry mess and allowing the vandals who concieved it to trash the center of Prague. Granted that almost all "Spy movies" have little or no relationship to reality, and James Bond has a long and lively fantasy life, still the level of violence, mayhem and murder in this is way over the top. For Ana to go from Bond Girl to this is a sad demotion, and the murderous Senior Villain should go back to light farce in Bridgerton where overacting and showing your butt is encouraged. Simply terrible. I am now informed that this review is too short, so let me count The Gray Man's transgressions:. Even Putin is a bit more subtle and discreet when he murders people, and when Kim Jung un murdered his half-brother live on TV, he still thought no one would notice. To suggest that the CIA would use Wagner Group thugs to blow up Prague, and then let the DDO off with a time-out is just plain silly. This movie is clearly aimed at sadistic teenage boys, and should the Network that produced the Crown and the Queen's Gambit be spending money on trash like this? I don't think so.
Shadowplay (2020)
The Star's Last Name Says it All
If you want to see a post-WWII occupied city, find the great "The Third Man," and if you want to see Berlin in ruins, find the equally great Billy Wilder film "One, Two, Three." If however you want to see graphic sadism and multiple convoluted betrayals, along with the kind of magic six-shooters that went out of style when Hoppalong Cassidy stopped making cowboy movies, then you've come to the right place. And for those of us who speak German, Taylor's last name "Kitsch" is German for "tacky trash." No kidding.
Bridgerton (2020)
Frivolity in the Midst of World War
As I recently watched the new Emma. I was struck that Jane Austen was writing in the midst of a terrible World War in which England was straining all its efforts (well, obviously these empty-headed twits weren't exerting any effort at all) to defeat Napoleon and his French legions. Hundreds of thousands were dying while these folks fretted about good matches and profitable marriages. In Braidgerton you see a few Court uniforms and one absent soldier is referenced, but this show looks much more like antebellum Versailles than a country just entering the Industrial Revolution. Pointless fun, not unlike Alicia Silverstone in "Clueless." Only here in the midst of COVID. Does this show make you forget all that? Did you even realize the historical connection? If you want empty calories and empty careless people, and Downton Abbey is too "real world," enjoy.
Midway (2019)
AF is Short of Water
One of the few blockbuster war movies to give credit to the oft-maligned intelligence component of World War II, and yes I've read Layton's salty 1985 memoirs. If you like remarkably realistic battle scenes, this movie is for you. As an intelligence professional, I loved the scenes in ICPOA (Intelligence Center Pacific Ocean Area) although for the life of me I still don't completely understand the difference in Layton's role as Nimitz's intelligence chief and Joe Rochford's role as chief of Nimitz's intelligence center. I didn't know he wandered around in a bathrobe but I did know he got screwed by jealous Washington rivals and shipped off to command a drydock on the West Coast. Given that he and Layton were among the fifty (!!) Japanese linguists the Navy had, a shameful waste on many levels. And guess who replaced Rochford? One Commander Roscoe Hillenkoetter, surviving EXO of West Virginia who as naval attache in Paris in 1940 had watched the Germans march in to Paris. After the war, and a stint as captain of USS Missouri, he was appointed by Harry Truman as the first director of the CIA.
This movie is like the world's greatest Trivial Pursuit for historians. look, there's CNO Admiral King giving Nimitz the bad news about his next assignment; look: John Ford with his signature round sunglasses madly filming the attack on Midway. Oh, no, that torpedo bounced off the hull of the Japanese warship: wait til the same thing happens at Midway and the torpedo squadron goes down in flames. And having seen MANY photos of Admiral Nimitz, a shout-out to Woody Harrelson, who looked and sounded just like a good ol' Texas boy.
One, Two, Three (1961)
Even the German is Funny
Sure its old, and sure most people have even forgotten that there were two Germanies, but its a forgotten classic.
And since Wilder used lots of German actors, even the dialogue he didn't bother to translate is hilarious: two particularly funny scenes were the Vopos interviewing Otto about his "wedding present" and the Stasi torture scene--who wouldn't crack after days of "itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka-dot bikini." Too bad most viewers won't recognize the old posters slipping out of the picture frame in the table-top dance scene, or the million other topical references. Its like a post-graduate seminar on Cold War Berlin. And if that ain't enough, remember "Good-Bye Lenin?" Their Coca-Cola scene is an outright homage, right down to the Building the "new' movie chose as Coke's Berlin headquarters. Look familiar?
This movie is good enough for Tom Hanks in "Bridge of Spies," so it should be good enough for you.
For those of us who remember the Cold War, and for those of us who remember that the Russians were (and still are) the Bad Guys, a trip down memory lane.
Blinded by the Light (2019)
Total Fantasy That Has Nothing to Do with Our World Today
So we have a dark-skinned immigrant family in a grim industrial town where the conservative leader of the country is allowing, indeed encouraging, corporations to bust unions, shut down factories, and throw many people out of work with no alternative jobs anywhere in the dead-end community. Many of the local Whites are taking their anger and despair out on the dark skinned newcomers, and right wing mobs are marching in the streets demanding they go back home. Into this sea of despair comes a working class prophet who sings songs that resonant in one (well actually two or even three) young souls. One older character, who remembers the prophet from his First Coming, welcomes the new disciples even if his own clueless son just doesn't get it, and the oldest character of all, who fought a World War to rid the world of skinheads, white supremists, and (dare we say) fascists, quietly encourages our young hero in his quest.
Not as much a feel-good movie as "Yesterday," and much darker than "Bend it like Beckham," but full of good music with conveniently placed subtitles for those who haven't studied the works of the prophet. And ultimately a hopeful sign that maybe the fascists and the others grinding down the working joes and Javids won't win in the end. To paraphrase another tough old survivor: "Thatcher is dead, and the Boss is still here and going strong."
As I said, a total fantasy.
On the Basis of Sex (2018)
Brings on Flashbacks
My wife and I, both professionals about 15 years behind the real RBG, found this movie both fascinating and painful--almost as painful as the negative reviews that object to the Subject on the basis not of sex, but of politics. Too bad the knuckle-draggers can't get past their own biases to enjoy this very good and intellectually engaging movie. And yes, we did find it suspenceful. My wife, too got directed to the typing pool after four years of college and three of grad school, and I hope I was half as supportive as Marty. We thoroughly enjoyed this reminder that even today the arc of history doesn't bend itself, and that the only way to achieve your goals, especially (gasp) equality, is to keep pushing. And we thought the acting was first-rate, and loved the physical mismatch of the tiny Jones and towering Hammer.
First Man (2018)
If you Thought 2001 Was slow and Solemn
And Keir Dullea was wooden, get ready for almost two and a half hours of close-ups of Ryan Gosling's eyeballs. I remember watching 2001 when it was released, and the Moon landing when it happened, but movies like Hidden Figures and The Right Stuff give much richer portraits of the time and the people involved. And who can forget Sam Shepard as Chuck Yeager striding away from the crash scene--a much more powerful image than the one depicted here. Yeager, by the way, gets almost no notice here. As with other recent historical movies like The Post, this film would benefit from subtitles identifying some of the true giants who flit almost un-noted through the story.
Granted, I loved Claire Foy as QE II, but for my money this is her movie, and she's the emotional center. Maybe she should have married that boring dentist after all.
Star Wars gave us space operas full of beat-up junky old crates, and First Man has something of the same feel, with cramped claustrophobic capsules and drab GI offices. Not unlike the new Blade Runner, but Gosling isn't Harrison Ford, and he isn't Sam Shepard either.
On a final note, this movie opened nationally just as Gus Grissom's widow finally passed away some fifty years after his heroic death. Folks who get their knickers in a twist about insufficient displays of Americanism in this movie might reflect on how our Great Nation treated the widows and orphans the Space Race cost us.
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
When will those Pilots Ever Learn?
So how many King Kong movies will it take before the various pilots learn to STAY OUT OF REACH of those long ape arms??? Five minutes in, every freaking one is toast after presumably surviving an entire year in 'Nam. Even the biplane pilots in the original did better than that! When I was practicing bayonet drills at Fort Benning, the instructor told us he'd never actually used one because he "always carried plenty of ammunition." Excellent advice for infantrymen and pilots both.
And I never ever saw anybody lugging around an actual record player--see the Air Cav scene in Apocalypse Now for the proper reel-to-reel machine.
In general a stupid waste of time and money although its good to see that John Goodman has lost weight and Brie Larson is as lovely as ever, although not as limber as Naomi Watts. Its good Samuel Jackson still has a day job shilling for Capital One, and its good to see John C. Reilly, an under-appreciated actor whose heart got broken by Roxy Hart in Chicago, stealing the show. One only hopes he hung in there long enough to see his beloved Cubbies win it all. But I guess if characters in these movies paid attention to the warning from the guy who'd "lived there 28 years," we wouldn't have movies like this.
Hummm; maybe not such a bad idea.
The Crown (2016)
Save Claire Foy
What a wonderful show. What a wonderful actress as QE II, and what wonderful character studies and vignettes. The production values and special effects are remarkable for television (all those early 1950s airliners!) and in many ways the episodes are just heartbreaking. The principal actress around whom all this swirls is Ms Foy, and she should be playing this role for as long as her little heart desires--I've read that actors will be "aging out," but if they can recreate BOAC airplanes and make John Lithgow look 5' 6" they can certainly make Ms Foy "age in place" if she wants the job.
Here come the spoilers, and to my mind the highlights: The episode "Knowledge is Power" with QE II realizing that her Oxbridge tutor left out a few bits in educating her, but then hauling out her copybook to read Salisbury and Churchill the Riot Act for deceiving her was stirring and a tour de force of acting fireworks with Ms Foy never even raising her voice.
And the pathetic dignity and courage Ms Foy demonstrates after Phillip pushes her buttons once too often with his self-centered whining and she chases him out of the villa only to discover that the cameramen were watching. If we only still had men of sufficient character and compassion to do what that cameraman did.
For another character study and another view of P-1 and P-2, watch "A Royal Night Out." I love them both, which probably gives you a fair idea of my own bizarre tastes. Pay particular attention to P-2 and the proprietor of the "Knocking Shop." Absolutely hilarious.
Sully (2016)
Shoulda Known Better
OK, since I don't get my information about the JFK assassination from Oliver Stone, why do I expect "truth" from a guy who talks to chairs? Without question the movie is a technical marvel, and I understand that Mike O'Malley has to put food on the table and do what the director tells him to do, but this movie's gratuitous and conspiratorial bashing of career civil servants is going to drive me to Sully's autobiography and the NTSB transcripts. Did they really try to railroad guys who JUST SAVED 155 PEOPLE? Did they really hide the number of (SPOILER ALERT) failed simulations just to get Sully's silver scalp? Seriously? What could possibly be the government's motivation beyond (SPOILER ALERT) "big gubmint is evil"? And since Clint couldn't find a chair to play the lead villain, he had to find the smarmiest, most supercilious actor possible (again, sorry Mr. O'Malley.) Is this is actually what happened then my apologies, but I'll bet my talking chair that it's not. Some fictionalizations are harmless, and some, like "Eyes in the Sky" are really on the money about how bureaucracts work, but are there really no honorable and honest people in NTSB? Anybody at NTSB want to offer a review?
OK, after posting, I did indeed go to the web and read the extremely interesting and balanced NTSB accident report. Did I find the slightest criticism of Sully? Noooooo. Did I find any indications of efforts to blame him? Noooooo. I am so sick and tired of the sloppy and easy default of painting hard-working, conscientious people as villains just because they, gasp, are trying to keep the flying public safe by looking into accidents. In the report, the real villains are eight pound geese and overly long and cumbersome checklists, but I guess that ain't dramatic enough for ol' Clint.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016)
Best Movie About Women in War Since Fort Bliss
OK, so Tina Fey isn't actually a soldier, but she's not the horny bimbo who gets busy with George Clooney in Three Kings either. Its now clear that Tina Fey is one of the most multi-talented people in the entertainment world, and this movie will go far toward solidifying her reputation as a broad gauge polymath. Aside from everything else, its clear she's a wonderful actor, and interestingly enough all the really strong central characters in this movie are indeed women (as Tina ruefully laments that she should have googled one particular character.) Don't worry, there's plenty of blood and guts, bad language, and techno porn for the teen-aged boys (why on earth would anybody come to a R rated movie with WTF as the title and give it a bad review for being shocked by language, sex, and violence. Don't however, expect Margot Robbie or anyone else to replay Margot's Wolf of Wall Street shenanigans.) Even the Anglo actors playing indigini (as we called the locals in Viet nam) are wonderful. Well worth seeing, worth owning.
A Royal Night Out (2015)
So Adorable--Its Just a Movie, Folks
OK, so there oughta be a law that only Colin Firth and Helena Bonham Carter can play the King and Queen. No offense to Emily and Rupert, but the "King's Speech" just ruined it for everybody else. This is after all a fantasy like "Roman Holiday," of two teen-agers escaping their grim and super-serious real lives, with the added poignancy that morally earnest Elizabeth knows full well the burden she's carried so far and will have to carry for the rest of her life. Talk about being in a gilded cage, and she really expresses the only momentary freedom and joy she has in the final scene of her tearing through the woods and fields with a royal pendant waving madly from the radiator cap. Quietly funny (except for the farcical and bawdy bits) and full of character actor gems (can you imagine a life full of boring dowagers droning on intermidably? Elizabeth has a whole life of that to look forward to,) or the brothel keeper who's a big fan of Victoria, treats the princess with respect, but isn't above using the situation to his business advantage. A sweet little movie, and maybe worth adding to the DVD collection as a bookend to "King's Speech."
Spotlight (2015)
Powerful Story, Powerfully Acted
There is not a bad performance in this dramatically powerful, profoundly sad story of a tiny group of idealists who take on their own religious faith, cultural heritage, and local Authority to defend the weak, violated, and oppressed. This is why some people got into journalism inspired by Watergate and All the President's Men, and why we desperately still need them as a counterbalance to pre-canned viewpoints (including many people on this very movie's message boards who reflexively condemn it before it was even released. There are only a few great journalistic enterprises left in this country still capable of the kind of honest rigor depicted here, and we are all poorer for their absence. See this movie for fabulous acting, see it for an honest portrayal of professional skill and ethics of the highest order, see it to remind yourself of the cliché that "all it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing," and ask yourself honestly what you would do in similar circumstances, especially if you, like most of us, don't buy ink by the barrel.
Our Brand Is Crisis (2015)
The Only One in the Movie With Principles
There are two kinds of folks in electoral politics: hired guns and idealists, and two kinds of candidates: those who take advice and those who don't. But before you sneer at the candidates, ask yourself how many tens of thousands or millions of people ever voted for you? And who's the better person, the hired gun with his stupid tricks, or the Candidate who puts himself out there in the face of humiliation and possible ruin? Billy Bob and Sandra are of course as wonderful as ever, but the real sleeper in the movie is the doltish pliable candidate who only has one flash of showing his true character: when he dons his leather jacket and "reasons down" the angry mob. That's called a hint, folks, as to who turns out in the end to be the real leader. The naïve kid turns up in every movie, but as we see in the end, he hasn't really thought through what his Guy is going to have to do to save his country. Don't know how it turned out in real life, but to put this in European terms, he turns out to be more like Angela Merkel than some Greek demagogue. Love it or hate it, and love or hate the IMF and its 18% interest rates, this movie has shades of meaning, and to me, irony, that Sandra Bullock and George Clooney probably didn't intend. Sometimes the leader of principle and character will be the guy who makes you eat your carrots--after he gets elected.
Bridge of Spies (2015)
Naturally the Air Force Loves It--Bad History
One reviewer saw this movie with Air Force brass, who naturally loved it, but almost everything related to the 1950s U-2 program is flat wrong without any obvious reason for the errors. President Eisenhower specifically directed the CIA to develop and manage the program with "civilian" pilots to avoid committing acts of war by sending military aircraft over foreign countries. Pilots were required to resign from the Air Force, certainly didn't wear uniforms, and were trained at Area 51 (now officially acknowledged) and certainly not in Peshawar Pakistan. Only accurate bits were the grease pencil number on Powers' helmet (they were obviously custom fitted) and the fact that he couldn't destroy the cameras because he got sucked out of the cockpit. All that being said: a great story, great character study, great acting, great if momentary homage to the immortal Billy Wilder and his much more accurate depiction of 1961 Berlin: "Eins, Zwei, Drei" aka "One Two Three." Wilder too presents German dialogue without subtitles, but with him it's much funnier and no less pointed.
Well worth watching, especially for Hanks and Rylance, but keep in mind that its no more "history" than Oliver Stone's "JFK." (JFK got shot, Powers got shot down and swapped for Abel.) BTW: Powers got screwed by both the CIA and Air Force, with Kelly Johnson of Lockheed's Skunk Works the only person to stand by him. That's why he wound up flying a traffic copter and running out of gas in 1977. I was there in 2000 when Brigadier General Kevin Chilton, commanding the USAF 9th Reconnaissance Wing at Beale Air Force Base in northern California, gave his son Gary Jr those medals as a way of assuaging the government's guilty conscience.
Aloha (2015)
Give Aloha A Break
Full Disclosure: I'll watch anything about Hawaii, including 50 First Dates, Lilo and Stitch, and Blue Crush (but not Hawaii 5-0), and I went into this movie well aware of the IMDb drama, trolling, and hysteria. Emma Stone blah blah blah, No real Asians blah blah blah, even some chat board criticism from some who admitted not having even seen the movie or that devolved into racist and religious abuse--seriously, are there no moderators on this site at all??? So wife and I watched with heightened awareness if not pre-loaded outrage, and found this movie altogether unobjectionable and appealing. Did all the critics miss all the scenes full of Hawaiians playing "himself"?? Did they miss Stone's earnest and respectful (if a bit fawning) approach to pre-colonial people and culture. The music, the dance, the irredentism??? So its not Dances with Wolves, but its no ethnic outrage either. And on its own terms as a complicated rom-com love quadrangle about two very appealing actresses and two studly but flawed men, we found it enjoyable and reasonably believable. I did find the final scene at the dance studio a bit creepy: I guess little girls grow up awfully fast now, but that's going to make for some awkward conversations with Mom and Dad. Good thing Dad comes equipped with subtitles. Go or don't go, but don't be swayed by the hysterical static. I'm buying the DVD to add to my Hawaii collection.
Ex Machina (2014)
What's the Difference Between God and Nathan?
As the old joke about the Silicon Valley demi-gods goes: "God doesn't think he's Nathan." And Nathan would have been well advised to pay better attention to Isaac Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics. Be warned, this movie is a cold and cerebral as the terrain and the claustrophobic setting, and has some scenes not for the squeamish or prudish. But for those not easily bored who can actually pay attention to and think about the dialogue and the ideas being explored, its a classic to be compared to Metropolis. If Ava is a machine with "human"intelligence, then the lesson is to treat her (and all her brothers and sisters) as human beings. Are you ready for this? The same dilemma faced by Harrison Ford in Blade Runner.