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The O.C. (2003)
Goes off the rails
The teen drama isn't exactly reinventing the wheel. Here you have a show that starts strong with good characters and plotlines but by the end of season 2 really begins to go off the rails before limping off the air through a series of nonsensical events and unearned resolutions. The final season in particular is very weak with the show not having the guts to make decisions for character growth.
Then again, I don't believe it to be the intent of the writers, but maybe they were trying to say that these are the elite of Southern California, they aren't subject to the same consequences as you or me and things will just work out for them. I'm not sure. But how things end compared to how it begins with Ryan getting a chance at a fresh start with people who can provide for him and be in his corner where there wasn't before, it feels like they either lost sight of their message or else just didn't have one to begin with. Too bad, missed potential.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Permanent taint on the series
Years from now, archaeologists will set out in search of Hollywood. A Hollywood where quality films were made. They might as well begin now, as that Hollywood has been dead for well over a decade. Bury this film in the sand, as it should be, and it most certainly will not become priceless, no matter how long it stays buried.
In anticipation of Indy 5, I watched all the previous entries over the last week and a half. Even the black sheep Temple is a classic by today's standards. Crystal Skull definitely is lacking but it looks like Raiders compared to this drivel. I feel my compulsory rewatches were more homework than anyone involved in this production did.
I'm perhaps most disappointed in a less than inspired performance from the leading man, but there wasn't anything he could do with this script. The giant gong from Club Obi Wan had fewer holes than the plot of this doomed tale. None of the other characters, particularly the villains, hold any weight at all.
Absolutely no effort in thinking anything through or explaining anything. And not in a clever, respect the audience kind of way where you're left to discern things for yourself. There's no meat on the bone. Action sequence to action sequence without a moment to breathe.
Please do not waste your time on this. Pretend it was never released.
FUBAR (2023)
Netflix fails again
You almost can't blame Netflix, in this modern world of tiktok and YouTube, people will watch literally anything. So why should they try?
Everything on Netflix, the Netflix originals anyway, is all so painfully formulaic that it will surely all be written by AI within a couple of years. It's a strange thing how difficult Hollywood has found it, replicating the cheesy goodness of the 80s. Surely one liners aren't that hard to come up with?
This show is light on laughs and action, not a recipe for success. It comes in on the lighter side, so you want to forgive the infinite number of plot holes and hand waving things away. But it still feels cheap. The humor falls flat and feels forced most of the time.
If Arnold brought you here, go back and rewatch Commando instead.
Monster: Episode One (2022)
Very well done
I was ready for this to be another assembly line, paint by numbers Netflix disaster. Not so. Very well executed, good acting, the tension is palpable. I've read all about JD a few years ago, watched some of his interviews and such so I had some idea with regards to the story but it feels fresh. Its definitely a lot creepier than I expected, which was maybe folly on my part as really, what would you expect? But the atmosphere created really works and is very unsettling. And it only becomes more so in the following episode. I didn't sleep well last night after watching the first two episodes. But looking forward to serving out the rest.
Day Shift (2022)
Utterly formulaic
Everyone knows Jamie Foxx has talent, and when paired with Snoop Dogg, I expected a laughing good time. The laughs were almost as rare as originality in this paint-by-numbers waste of time. Netflix continues to dig its own grave with low effort productions like this. They dont "produce" content, they manufacture it. There is enough action and violence to keep your most dimwitted friends happy, but there is little other stimulation to be had from this film. Attempts at mocking current culture trends, while mostly accurate, feel heavy handed. Someone please write something worthwhile to have JF star in.
Carlito's Way (1993)
Hasn't aged well
Many men out there, including myself, have a weak spot for gangster movies & Al Pacino. Thought I'd go back in time and check this one out, assuming it would be very good. It felt very dated, and overall nothing spectacular here you haven't seen before. Not a bad movie, just not something you are going to be thinking back on much.
As one other reviewer put it, its "more human than Scarface", but I'm not sure thats a good thing. Lovers of 'Cara Cicatriz' will see some familiar faces, as well as many who later became regulars on the big screen.
In the end, I'd suggest finding something else on your watch list to check out first.
MADtv 20th Anniversary Reunion (2016)
Out with a whimper
The current score of 6.7 is very generous. This was a total waste of time. Go back to the early seasons if you want any enjoyment or laughter from MADtv.
Homicide: Life on the Street (1993)
2022 - Look past the AV quality
I found it amusing seeing a review from 22 years ago stating how the show was better "than the crap on TV nowadays". The "reality" tv plague was only in its infancy back then.
Authenticity is the calling card of this show, a very valuable trait in any contemporary set series. I'm a big HD snob and want to view things in the best possible quality, but no such luck with this show that was shot in such a way I believe to add to that authenticity, like you were following the detectives around "B-more" as they hunt the various miscreants shown throughout the 7 seasons of the show. But you just have to live with it, and its so worth it.
Believable and fleshed out characters are another necessity for a quality show, and you get one of the best in Andre Braugher's Frank Pembleton. The show being before my time, I was drawn to it from his classic performance of Holt on Brooklyn 99. Homicide is no comedy- Richard Belzer aside- but you get an amazing performance from Braugher here that you will remember for a long time. The show is at its best when its offering up poignant social commentary through the lens of his character. This is not to discredit the memorable performances of virtually all other regulars as well, none of which faltering along the way.
There are indeed laughs along the way, and other episodes that will set dread in you like few other shows can (see: A Doll's Eyes, S4). This show isn't a paint by numbers, predictable mindless drama like so many we see today.
The final season slips and stutters a bit, but this is still a must watch series, start to finish for anyone who enjoys quality crime drama. The Wire (also born of the work of David Simon) holds a special place in the pantheon of prestige television, but I enjoyed Homicide more.
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021)
More of the same
There are many great indictments of the community of this site and the reviews system, none more egregious than Breaking Bad outranking the Sopranos. But this contrived, predictable churned-out flick having an 8.5? Despicable. When it comes to Marvel, you get an occasional Black Panther or Logan that sort of stands out from the heap, but this is just another dime-a-dozen time sink.
Dexter: New Blood: Sins of the Father (2022)
Worked with what they had
To take this disgraced series and make a good season out of it and deliver this finale that may not be the most memorable, but left things where they should be, is no small feat. Ignore the people bombing it with 1 star reviews.
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)
Utterly decomposed - the worst film I've ever seen
If you're not a resident evil fan, this movie offers nothing in terms of quality filmmaking. "Low rent" "no effort" "C movie" are terms that come to mind. If you are a fan, like me, this film takes the lore and content you know and love (admittedly campy and fill of holes) and completely disregards it, craps all over it and leaves you with familiar names in ridiculous situations that in not way line up with established canon. If you're going to mail it in, don't waste time reinventing the plot when you can at least take it at face value and remove that 37 minutes from your 2 hour allotment for the creation of this wretched pile of zombie excrement.
Music Box: Woodstock 99: Peace, Love, and Rage (2021)
Status Quo
People quite frankly cant get enough of documentaries in the Netflix era, and this is another heap thrown together to put on the streamed screen.
I was excited to see this, 99 being the time I was growing up and this music meant a lot to me. This documentary leans far too much on accounts from random attendees or other irrelevant people, not enough artist interviews (but too much of Moby), and the fact that they allowed John Scher to say what he did on camera and then put it in the film...its maddening in hindsight.
The positive, ironically, is the negative but necessary light shone on the "white frat boy culture" that reigned at the festival. Truly despicable. It needs to be put out there no matter how grotesque it is to view and hear about. Its hard to shake the feeling that mankind is barreling down towards its ultimate demise, but at the same time watching this makes you realize how immature we are and how far we still need to come as a society, even 22 years later.
Its not like I didn't already feel shame for having liked Limp Bizkit as a 12 year old, but most of all what this documentary showed me was that them having the success they did and winding up in the middle of that ill fated festival was roughly the equivalent of you-know-who entering the 2016 presidential race and winning in spite of a complete lack of competence. And the results being about the same, on a smaller scale.
The Defiant Ones (2017)
Perhaps self serving
I thought this was released more recently, so I was confused at how Dre's marriage was portrayed as pure bliss. I'm disappointed that this documentary about true industry titans and legends would resort to the same production gimmicks seen far too often in netflix's many docuseries', like filming doubles acting out scenes being described, or using stock footage for the same. Unnecessary and feels cheap. Everything doesn't have to be spoon fed. And so often instead of showing the person being interviewed actually talking, just showing footage of them making faces while their speech is dubbed over.
There are some interesting tidbits from music industry folk we all know and love, I just wish the production felt a little more authentic.
Mortal Kombat (2021)
Too much too fast
I read an interview with Greg Russo lately in anticipation of the film where he said something along the lines of "this isn't the Avengers, I dont have 15 movies to build all this up". I didn't think much of it at the time, but this ended up being very telling. The gist I got is they went for Endgame but without all the prequel movies to build up to it.
So much of this movie is glossed over or just magic wanded and its very disappointing. Lets establish some facts. The original 1995 film is, again from Russo, "dripping with nacho cheese", but its an enjoyable movie to all but the most pretentious old crooks. The action was great, the music was amazing, and characters were memorable, for better or worse. You get none of those qualities this time around. Little of anything to be enthusiastic about really. I feel kind of generous giving a 5/10 but I dont want my bitterness from high expectations to influence my rating too much.
Again, I'll compare to the original movie. In that one, Shang Tsung is a great villain. Who could forget the initial scene with Liu's brother? In 2021, Tsung is one of the worst and least memorable villains in recent memory. The 1995 film was cheesy, but it knew it was cheesy. Every time Shang Tsung speaks in this movie, you get the cheese, but they aren't self aware.
There were good elements and potential, but for it all to work the movie would have had to be about 8 hours or more. They were on the right track when they released the various shorts based on the franchise years ago, the ones featuring the same actor as Hanzo. There should have been an entire movie building up the story surrounding Sub Zero and Scorpion. One for Raiden & Liu Kang/Kung Lao. One for Shang Tsung and Mileena maybe. Instead, we get too many characters sprinkled into a movie without any of the backstory they deserve, even for franchise vets like me. I know who these people are, but some are cherry picked and rearranged to fill in gaps, but they often fail. They come and go faster than challenges when I used to play the games online.
What I hoped for coming in was not just cheap fan service, but a finesse in story telling that this content deserves. It completely failed in that regard and I'm very disappointed.
On a less important note, I feel like it almost had to be a problem with the cinema I went to, but the special effects were horrendous and the movement of some of the CGI characters and elements almost seemed to stutter. For shame.
The Wire (2002)
Wildly overrated
I'm not saying this is a bad show or that you shouldn't watch it. Just pay no mind to those who would have you believe its equivalent or certainly superior to the likes of the Sopranos.
Dexter: Remember the Monsters? (2013)
A true insult to viewers
I used to adore this show, having never seen The Sopranos and appreciating true prestige television. I even forgave seasons beyond 4. Having seen it now, going back for a rewatch of Dexter, it has aged like a corpse, and that includes the good seasons. So much hand holding. Everything spelled out while I'm looking for clever Easter eggs. I'll admit seasons 5 and 7 aren't that bad. 6 suffers from awful villain(s), 8 from there basically not being any
It ends with a finale that's hard to construe as anything but disrespect to the viewer. Every choice leading to the ultimate end was worse and worse. I'm not sure how the original showrunner intends to redeem the show with this new season, but it'll be a truly Herculean feat if he can raise this once beloved show from the ashes (of Vera's urn)
The Irishman (2019)
Dont waste your time
This film succeeds in two things: leaving me wanting to know more about those involved in the story, and lessening my impressions of the many legends involved in the production. What a bore. You Goodfellas & Sopranos fans, don't come in expecting anything like that, certainly not of that quality. I can assure you any or all glowing reviews are the result of folk being star struck by the cast list. It is truly a shame this mob movie trio won't get to work together in any meaningful way again, doubly so that this last outing only detracts from their legacy.
House M.D. (2004)
Terminally ill
I've never been a big TV watcher, I can count on two hands probably the shows I've finished. Back in 11th grade I saw a commercial for a show that looked interesting to me. I began watching and really enjoyed it, but a scheduling conflict ended up making me miss a couple of episodes and when that happens, I basically abandon a series.
16 years later, I finally set out to watch it in full. House is a show that starts fairly strong, like a lot of shows. Seldom few hit their stride in later seasons, they live, age and die like a living organism. Each season of house is about equivalent to 15 years in a human life. So do the math, by the time you reach season 8, what you have is nothing more than a wretched cadaver.
One of the big things about watching it in modern days, is it really doesn't hold up well to binging. Watching week to week, you may not notice how closely every episode mimics the previous. Its so formulaic it could have spewed from the powerbook of the lowliest Hollywood hack. Is it really sarcoidosis again?
Like a failing sports franchise, the show relies too much on inserting new faces to provide a spark. I found several of the core characters in mid and late seasons offer little to nothing. Of course, the show is about the titled character. But he shouldn't overshadow literally everyone else such that you could hardly care whats happening with them. There isn't a lot of character development, but I suppose at least that holds true to real life. But then thats not what we watch television and film for, is it?
People dont change. I get it. I really believe this as it applies to real life. I dont care to watch a fictional show, 8 seasons worth of people doing the exact same things like they are dead set on causing repetitive stress disorder. House may be barely able to walk, but the show jumps the shark so many times in the final season or two that it becomes laughable.
My girlfriend regularly watches Grey's Anatomy, pure drivel. In my mind I looked forward to getting back and watching House through proper, a real hospital show that isn't just high school relationship drama but with doctors. But especially as it winds down to the end, you are left asking "whats at stake here?". It didn't help that we began watching this straight after completing a rewatch of the Sopranos. I suggest you do that instead, all we have here is a pile of wasted potential.
Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile (2019)
Better uses for your time
We are in a cultural dead spot in our history, very little in any medium thats worthwhile trickles in. This movie is no different. I applaud them for sparing us the violence and taking a different perspective on the story, but in the end, the film is forgettable. Not cringey-bad or awful, just forgettable. And there are already dozens of classic movies I haven't seen I could have watched instead, or rewatched a favorite.
Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told (2013)
The weak minded will inherit the earth
Though this fictionalized tripe was composed prior to the trump presidency, the latter goes to show how shockingly many the weak minded are in our society. Either way, those who support that ridiculous, evil administration are the same ones who would pay any heed to the revisionalist nonsense delivered in this work of pure fiction
The Mandalorian (2019)
"Redemption" indeed
I am a sequels apologizer, the new movies are all good (except Solo). But I dont think it would be much of a stretch to suggest this is the best Star Wars content created since RotJ. Whats most amazing is that we all associate Vader and the Emperor with the original trilogy and were so vital to making them great, there is no one singular villain in this to prop it up. The characters, even the droids are so well done masterfully, likewise the episodic storylines. Hope they can keep it up in S2.
McMillions: Episode 1 (2020)
HBO's Fall From Glory
Remember when HBO not only housed prestige drama like The Sorpanos, you know, only the greatest show of all time, but also the biggest prize fights one could witness? Gone are those days. Hey, a documentary is fair game, if its done correctly. Fake reenactments of every single detail spoken is such a 2 bit way of going about a docuseries, really reeks of cheap late night TV. Its presented in such a hack way that I would have to doubt if the witnesses speaking are for real, if not for old video tape evidence where you can see and hear them. I've read about the story in question, and it really seems like they set out to really ham this and over dramatize it as much as possible. Hopefully it gets better from here.
Boss (2011)
An utter tragedy it didn't last
The only reason not to watch this show would be to spare yourself the frustration that it ends after a paltry 2 seasons. Amazing, hard hitting drama with characters you will remember long beyond others.
El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie (2019)
Underwhelming
I'll say that I'm not the biggest BB fan. It was good, but no Sopranos. I'm not sure exactly what I was expecting for this movie, but it wasn't this.
Dramas are built up around characters. In this, you have Jessie, a few smaller callbacks but nothing that feels meaty. The whole thing just feels like a single episode and more must be coming to substantiate what we saw. I'm not sure this stands on its own that well. I expected more
Joker (2019)
Mixed bag at best
I'll start by saying I'm not a fan of comic books, nor their movies. I thought Martin Scorsese's recent quote about them "not being cinema" is dead on. I thought this film, based on the buzz around it, would be the redemption. It wasn't.
As I write this, I see the top posted review says the storyline was unpredictable. That just isn't true, most elements of it were totally predictable. Such as the hallucination of romance, and they go so far as to insult the viewer and spell it out for you later on that it wasn't real after all (duh).
Robert de Niro is wasted in this film (no pun intended), playing a 2 bit late night host, with a catch phrase so bad it seems right off of some youtubers channel. For how weak that role was, they could have gotten anyone else to play the part. Once they set up how much the show meant to Arthur, I figured it was a given he would seek revenge on Murray for showing his awkward clip from the comedy club. I feel they only showed Arthur putting the gun to his chin as to not completely reveal that he would shoot Murray instead.
That Joker so easily finds Wayne's house and lures a young Batman within arms reach is a bit much. And then Wayne isn't on edge at all when they meet in the bathroom later, surely knowing this man had put his hands on his child and choked his guard. For such an important character to the universe, Thomas Wayne leaves a bit to be desired. Even to the last, as his half assed plea to the shooter in the alleyway has no sign of desperation about it at all.
Arthur Fleck is a twisted individual, another victim of child abuse & mental illness, who breaks after being pushed too far and becomes his own personal vigilante. I dont feel like there was anything that new or fresh here. The last scene even felt tacked on and could have been left on the cutting room floor. Disappointing.