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Reviews
Rango (2011)
Skip This Movie
I did not enjoy this movie. Maybe I'm used to the wit of Shrek or the pure enjoyment of Cars but Rango was not like either of these (beyond some stunning visuals).
First, as others have said, do not bring your kids. Owls hanging from nooses, the same owls continually reassuring you the hero will die, at least one fairly realistic gunning down of a character and quite a bit of death overall. Combine that with the threats of "I want to watch your eyes as I kill you" and references to some adult topics (likely over a kids head, but still) and you have a non-kid movie. I would say the big thing is that they really do show death whereas typically it is only alluded to or the characters don't die.
Beyond the kid factor, I thought the movie was highly predictable and overall just awkward. At many times it just felt overly drawn out. I think if a person was a huge spaghetti western fan there may be some material here for you, but not for the typical movie goer.
In the world of bad westerns and parodies of the genre I feel like this landed more toward the former even if aiming for the latter.
Babylon A.D. (2008)
Tough Way To End Movie
I will make this short and to the point. Many other reviews discuss stuff that was cut. I say it really doesn't matter. This wasn't going to be a blockbuster no matter how you sliced it, so to me it is a non issue.
As for the actual movie, I was enjoying it and, quite honestly, wondering how it was just getting a 5 on IMDb. Then came the ending. To say it is one of the worst endings I have ever seen in a movie would be only a slight overstatement.
It just ends with no explanation of...well...anything. Pretty much every major storyline that was in the movie is left unresolved. And not in a cliffhanger, "wait until Babylon 2" sort of way but in a "well that was stupid" way. At least we'll always have the first 80 min. Try and forget about the last 10.
Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008)
Vala Mal Doran How I Hate Thee
So clearly I liked the movie. I gave it an 8/10. Was it really an 8? Probably not, but being a fan of the series I felt that I could not give it any lower. Also, while it won't win any awards, I try to give things ratings for what they were trying to be. This was not trying to be an award winning movie and if you think it should be, from the onset you will probably be disappointed (and don't even think of trying to see it without watching at least seasons 7-10 of the show. You will be lost).
That said, does anyone else hate Vala? Nothing against Claudia Black but Vala is the one reason I wanted to stop watching the show. She is the classic "let me be an overall impatient idiot who should be shot and save the team the trouble of her antics" character. Sure Jack O'Neill had his moments but they were offset buy humor and actual redeemable moments. Vala is just an idiot. Can they play out the stealing/treasure of her past in any more lame jokes? She is so out of place they may as well use yet another Farscape actor.
Bottom Line: Fine movie, if you go in expecting a made-for-DVD movie, and Vala is annoying as ever (but less so if you make it past the first 20 min of the movie).
The Money Pit (1986)
Funny until the end, then not so much
For the first 3/4 of the movie I was laughing and it was great. But when you get to the last 1/4 it takes a turn for the worse.
This woman got so drunk that she can't remember what happened and then she thinks that she slept with somebody other than good 'ol Tom Hanks. Then she lies to him about it. To Hanks said that he didn't care if she did it as long as she didn't lie. When she finally tells him, after she has lied about it, he gets angry at her (obviously). Then the stupid part, she gets angry at him that he isn't more understanding!!
She got so drunk she can't remember what happened, thinks she slept with some other guy, and then she has the audacity to claim that he should be more understanding. That just made me so upset I could not enjoy the rest of the movie. He should have left her on the spot, not because of what she did (or we find out didn't but was so drunk it doesn't matter) but because she is such a colossal stupid person, to keep it PG. She messed up. No matter his reaction, especially after she lied to him, she should be begging to be back with him. There is no logical reason for her to be upset. So much of a double standard it is ridiculous. Lost all respect for her character and didn't like the rest of the movie.
Kyle XY: Blame It on the Rain (2006)
Better
Finally we have some plot advancement. The plot thickens or whatever you want to say.
It is just too bead that they spend so much time on the other relationships that are going on. I mean I know they want you to know the family, but if all of it doesn't have some larger spot in the end I'm not sure if it worth it.
I also am wondering why the boyfriend can 'show up' a half-hour before the parents were expecting the kids up and nobody cares. He then stays ALL DAY! Does this not seem a bit abonormal to anybody. Then there is the fact that everybody seems to talk about anything without thinking who else might be around. Whatever, at least the murder plot thickens.
Kyle XY: This Is Not a Test (2006)
Lametacular
This is a combination of lame and spectacular. Well, at least good.
Again, we have about 60 seconds of actual plot advancement beyond the socalization of Kyle. This guy lurks around the house and plants cameras everywhere. I know he is supposed to add an element of mystery to the show, but it is really just stupid. I am fairly uninterested in this guy. Why? Because we have no idea what the hell Kyle has to do with him. You can't just have this guy be the bad guy and only relate him to the story because of one clue! I mean who does that!? We either have to have Kyle figure out his past or at least have this random guy clue us in on it because the way it stands, I really feel like my time is wasted in that plot advancement.
On the plus side, I think it is the greatest when he uses his 'I can tell what you are going to do' fighting skills. Him being able to learn so fast is also cool, but, really, how many times can they do it. He has learned to speak and fight, draw, memorized the US history. We'll see what happens.
Bottom Line: They better pick up the pace.
Kyle XY: Sleepless in Seattle (2006)
Why Make Him Sleep
They force him to sleep and even try to give him pills to sleep. Here's a newsflash, if you don't sleep in 7 days, you die. That's a fact. If he doesn't need it and he is super smart, isn't it a bit counter-productive to society to make him sleep? It seems like they are doing stuff for him and making him do stuff so they feel good, not because it is any good for him.
Not sure if I liked this very much. The rest of it was at least decent, but this little thing struck me as odd.
It is a good story to add to what has already been set up, but the skeleton just makes it weird. I'm hoping that this doesn't get lame fast, but having already seen the next 2 shows, I'm not so sure.
Kyle XY: Diving In (2006)
Interesting, but will it keep going?
I have only seen the first 4 episodes, and I will post again after finishing season one. I have to say that the first 2 episodes were actually quite interesting, but the next two were only OK.
Spoilers Part I'm not sure about this strange guy and him killing people. The authorities don't know anything so why is he after Kyle? He now killed at least 2 people from The Company. He seems like the only worthwhile antagonist in the show and yet there has been a grand total of like 3 min total on him.
I just can't see the show lasting long. He learns really fast so that can only be played out so long. If the only problem is this guy killing people, that will have to get solved and it is going to get real lame if they only do a 30 second clip each episode to advance the plot in that area. The rest is all 'learning to grow up'. It is interesting, at first, but it almost makes me want to go and see if The Wonder Years did it a lot better. My guess is yes. And if he actually goes to school that is the stupidest thing yet because he should be in college.
In reality if a guy like this ever existed, I am all for skipping the socialization stage. In my opinion he'll get all of that when he starts solving world problems. And why force him to sleep if he doesn't need it? YOU ARE WASTING HIS LIFE! Just let him watch TV and read books all day. I know it doesn't make for much of a TV plot, but it sure makes a lot more sense than what they are doing.