KADC Reviews

Quarantine (2008)

Terrible in every way. Possibly the worst movie I've ever seen.

[1/10 · 15 October 2023]

This movie was so bad I felt compelled to warn people lest they think there's some redeeming value in this remake of the original Spanish film, "Rec": There isn't.

I don't know what they spent the $12 million budget on ($17 million in 2023 dollars) but YouTubers working on shoestring budgets with their own money regularly create far better works so there's really no excuse for the 89 minutes of painfully bad ...well, everything.

Bad acting, bad dialog (was it improv?), bad cinematography (even by low-light "shaky cam" standards), presumably bad directing (it's hard to believe this was anyone's vision), really bad logic fails ('80s horror movie bad), and not even a hint of the fan service or corny humour that could have elevated this to at least 'B' movie status.

In the end, "Quarantine" seems more like a bootleg of a dry run rehearsal than a finished production and I can only imagine being enjoyed by a group of friends that like to hate-watch bad movies so they can criticize all the flaws afterwards.

Motherland: Fort Salem (2020–2022)

5-stars is for the novelty -- everything else is weak.

[5/10 · 24 August 2022]

The show is passably entertaining if you care more about novel ideas than having things make sense, but this is common problem with supernatural, fantasy, and science fiction TV shows. Fans know how dumbed-down scripts can be for these genres, particularly when created for network TV, and this series does nothing to raise the bar in that regard.

It doesn't help that the dialogue is particularly weak, or perhaps it's just the bad acting, which is little more than filler to pad out episodes while you wait for something to happen. This too is unfortunately typical of this kind of TV show. Honestly, I doubt you'd miss much if you fast-forwarded though the talking and just watched the action scenes.

The series concludes with a what-the?!? Ending which makes it very hard to recommend when there are so many better shows (some with actual endings) you could watch instead.

Toy Story 4 (2019)

Okay, but not worth paying to see.

[6/10 · 1 January 2022]

I wasn't expecting Toy Story 4 to be as good as 2 or 3, but it wasn't even at the level of the first Toy Story movie. It's not bad, per se, but it's far from what the money behind Pixar's premiere franchise should have been able to produce. If all they did was follow the same formula from the previous movies, Toy Story 4 would have turned out several notches better.

Actions lack consequences, there's never any sense of real peril, and there wasn't a single memorable joke or sight gag. On the other hand, the pace is constant and there's never any dull moments.

Overall, I'm glad I waited to see Toy Story 4 for free on TV because it wasn't worth a theatre ticket nor the price of buying it to add to my movie collection.

A Quiet Place (2018)

Well acted, directed, and filmed but simply too stupid to enjoy.

[3/10 · 31 December 2020]

The acting, directing, filming are all fine but, even if you are devoid of any understanding of how sound works, the movie itself provides more than enough information to contradict its own premise and cause its own downfall.

Had the movie been about a family that is isolated for some reason (camping trip or remote cabin perhaps) and somehow becomes trapped by monsters and have to figure out how to survive it would have a relatively enjoyable film. As it stand though, anyone exercising the most rudimentary of critical thinking skills will find the premise that for more than a year the entire world has been at the mercy of creatures who are easily fooled, easily distracted, have an easily exploitable weakness, and are relatively easy to kill simply too unbelievable to enjoy even without the absurd corn silo scene.

Strike Witches (2008–2010)

Like a handful of unfulfilled promises, Strike Witches disappoints in every possible way.

[5/10 · 26 September 2020]

The last two episodes of each season touch on what could be, if expanded upon, an interesting sci-fi tale of alien invasion, government conspiracies, and military hubris. The rest of the episodes are basically days-in-the-life of the witches which could be, if the interpersonal lives and feelings of the witches were explored, an interesting tale of emotional examination. Unfortunately, neither of these is the case and we're left with what is little more than a collection of non-sequitur vignettes.

For example, some of the girls share beds suggesting they are couples, yet we learn nothing about their relationships despite this strong implication. Nor do we ever learn how any of the witches feel about virtually anything at all, either meaningful or trivial. Also, there is clearly something going on behind the scenes with regard to the military and the aliens invading Earth, but we never discover the truth about that either. In fact, the first episode of the second season starts by literally killing off what the end of the first season hints at. Yes, the often commented on fan service abounds, including full nudity (though genitals are always blocked by conveniently placed objects), but the matter-of-fact way it's presented (even strangers don't give the girls a second glance) coupled with the rather plain, though competent, animation style leaves these moments practically devoid of sexuality. Even the scenes where the one witch with a penchant for fondling the other witches' breasts, including full nude scenes in the communal bath, are more light-comedy than titillation.

Ultimately, while Strike Witches isn't terrible by any means, neither does it offer any reason to recommend it.

Ready Player One (2018)

Starts well but the real world elements make increasingly less and less sense.

[6/10 · 24 September 2020]

Ready Player One starts out with a strong, or at least decent, first act. The second act introduces bad '80s action movie/children's TV show villain tropes into the movie's real world elements. The third acts just stops trying to make in-real-life sense altogether. The CGI is good, the acting is nothing to complain about, the pop-culture references can be fun to spot, but the promising start makes the increasingly grown-worthy logic fails that much more disappointing.

Phantom: Requiem for the Phantom (2009)

Not worth your time or money.

[4/10 · 15 September 2020]

The bewilderingly bad final eight-episode act ruins what was an otherwise passable, albeit predictable, story. I wasted my money buying this poorly written series with sub-par animation due to the undeserving high praise it received in both ratings and reviews.

With so many movies, series, books, and games out there to watch, read, and play, there are far better ways to spend your time than viewing this, at best, moderately entertaining animé.

Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018)

A lesson in how to make anything good just plain dumb instead.

[4/10 · 20 July 2020]

The acting, directing, script, and overall plot are terrible, but this is typical of big-budget action films and it's not much worse than an MCU film for example. What makes this movie particularly painful to watch, however, is either how much effort must have gone into turning literally every scene needlessly stupid or how little effort was spent to prevent it.

The World It Is (2015)

Kymsleen Kholie is the one shinging light in this hodgepodge of a movie.

[4/10 · 14 July 2020]

You could make a half-dozen other films with all the different issues this movie presents, failing to satisfactorily address even one of them. The acting is sub-par though the poor directing and amateurish script are at least partially to blame (except for the child actress who is either too young or too untalented to play her role -- blame that on whoever cast her).

The one highlight of this film is Kymsleen Kholie who demonstrates a rare degree of natural talent in this, her debut role. Given the wide critical praise she received I can only guess it is Bollywood's deeply-entrenched nepotism preventing her from becoming the star she so clearly deserves to become lest outshine someone's daughter and become India's next top female actress.

Jindua (2017)

Not enough good to redeem the bad.

[4/10 · 13 July 2020]

If this movie were produced by YouTubers or high school students (with a gross misunderstanding of Canadian legal system) it might be impressive that they managed to create a full-length feature film, but as a professional production it's so low budget and pieced together and frequently nonsensical that it's hard to watch despite an otherwise interesting premise and decent acting by the primaries (not so much when it comes to the supporting cast). It took me several sittings to make it all the way through to the end as there is only so much dumbness one can take in one sitting.

Road House (1989)

The good outweighs the bad.

[6/10 · 12 July 2020]

Don't watch this movie a second time or you'll notice all the shortcomings you missed while wondering how little they must have thought of audiences the first time you watched it.

Cherry 2000 (1987)

One of those movies that's bad in all the right ways.

[6/10 · 12 July 2020]

Utilizing that unique brand of '80s outrageous cheesiness, this movie maintains that fine balancing act between not taking itself too seriously and not making any sense at all; resulting in a textbook example of an enjoyably bizarre action film.

Monster's Ball (2001)

A terrible movie in every way from start to finish.

[1/10 · 11 July 2020]

Thornton and Berry have no on-screen chemistry (possibly Berry's worst ever performance) whether they're exchanging hackneyed dialogue or performing two of the most unconvincing and clumsy sex scenes (uncensored version) ever recorded in a major motion picture. There is no credible reason for Berry to have won an Oscar for this role. The addition of uninspired cinematography and horribly misguided direction make this a nearly unwatchable disaster.

I've never given a one star rating before but this movie lacks any redeeming elements to justify anything more. Ignore the hype: This movie is not worth your time.

Ittefaq (2017)

A well thought out whodunit with a very poorly thought out twist ending.

[6/10 · 5 July 2020]

Ittefaq starts out with an implausible coincidence that obviously leads to the convoluted story typical of this genre. The tale is compelling enough to forgive the unlikely partial interrogations of the suspects that allow the story to unfold at a measured pace in order to keep the audience guessing; but for all the thought that went into crafting the main part of this whodunit, almost none was given towards the elements of the twist ending and the painfully nonsensical final scene. Despite that, the movie is both well shot and well acted and the disappointing end doesn't completely ruin an otherwise very enjoyable movie.

Rudhramadevi (2015)

More good than bad (and there is a lot of bad).

[6/10 · 3 July 2020]

Despite being littered with cartoonish CGI, amateur wirework, poorly choreographed fight scenes, pointless and unnecessary songs, and terrible editing, the compelling story is told in such a way that, if one is able to overlook the many shortcomings, Rudhramadevi ends up being an enjoyable movie to watch.

Buffalo '66 (1998)

Another failed vanity project for flim students to discuss.

[4/10 · 2 July 2020]

Points for several interesting concepts which in rare moments almost work, but overall this Vincent Gallo vanity project was so poorly acted, poorly scripted, and poorly directed it comes off as a strange combination of amateurish and surreal. While film students may enjoy discussing the various elements of this film in class it should otherwise be avoided.

Golmaal: Fun Unlimited (2006)

A new take on a old premise that falls short in every way.

[3/10 · 2 July 2020]

Even the most ardent fans of bad puns and slapstick would be hard-pressed to find enough humour in this tedious bumbling-fools-foil-bumbling-thieves story to justify watching this film. I can only assume the high ratings are some kind of collective upvoting-a-bad-movie prank because this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen.

Tanu Weds Manu Returns (2015)

Wonderful premise ruined by a bait-and-switch no-lessons-learned ending.

[4/10 · 1 July 2020]

An otherwise promising and enjoyable movie ruined by a last-minute bait-and-switch back to a stereotypical Bollywood/Hollywood ending that flies in the face of the very premise the movie starts with; namely, that these movie romance marriages would likely be disasters if we revisited the couple a few short years later. If there's a third movie to this series it had better be a very dark comedy because now even more lives have been ruined with no lessons being learned by anyone except perhaps the well-meaning but now twice-jilted fiancé who hopefully stays well clear of these horrible people in the future.

Bodyguard (2018)

Well worth watching despite a flawed final episode (Season 1).

[8/10 · 25 June 2020]

I generally don't care for cop dramas but, despite several serious lapses of logic in the final episode of Season 1, the first season was excellent and I look forward to watching Season 2.

Mujhe Insaaf Chahiye (1983)

A good serious second half outweighs an uninspired beginning.

[6/10 · 24 June 2020]

Viewers willing to suffer through the rather poor comedy with uninspired song and dance elements that comprise the first part of this movie will be rewarded with an interesting court drama with serious social commentary that concludes.it. Despite an unnecessary melodramatic cliché thrown in the final act it, the end of this movie is sufficiently entertaining enough to overcome its flaws and is ultimately worth watching.

Maryada (1971)

Worth watching if illogical plot devices don't faze you.

[6/10 · 21 June 2020]

Some pretty serious plot holes and logical failures but an otherwise interesting story and decent acting make this worth watching.

Jaane Tu... Ya Jaane Na (2008)

Even if you enjoy stereotypical romantic comedies it's not worth watching.

[2/10 · 21 June 2020]

Not entirely banal but the formula used to write this move is fairly obvious. The acting and directing are passable but the stereotypical "when will they acknowledge their feelings" story simply isn't worth watching and neither are the songs worth hearing.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

Inferior to classic war movies from the '60s and '70s.

[6/10 · 12 June 2020]

While it may be technically superior from a film-making point of view, the storytelling was grossly overrated and seemed both mechanical and predictable compared to classic war movies from the '60s and '70s.

Padosan (1968)

Two-and-a-half hours of bad sitcom humour without the laugh track.

[3/10 · 9 June 2020]

How this very unfunny and poorly acted movie with such an uninteresting story received such highly rated reviews I cannot begin to imagine but I seriously suspect it must be some kind of prank. The lightly-amusing humour plays out like a movie-length 1960's TV sitcom without the laugh track.

A History of Violence (2005)

A flawed but generally entertaining action film.

[6/10 · 2 June 2020]

An otherwise good movie which could have been better if it a) it explained why the main character apparently had what could only be described as special forces training and b) if it did not contain perhaps the single dumbest scene (let's call it "the unnecessary marathon") I've ever had the misfortune to see.