There are so many "prospecting" gold and treasure hunting shows out there, but your going to get several things from this show that you won't get from most. Firstly it will take you out to explore this amazing wilderness, secondly, it has a heart and a warmth to all the characters that is going deeper than shallow gold fever and thirdly, they split off from their main story to bring you AMAZING characters, like David Muse... who on an absolutely ridiculously small shoe string of a budget and after dislocating his hand (probably making his own boats) and after living in his car and in a trailer for years, still managed to get much further than most human being would have imagined possible - even in GOOD health, which he certainly didn't appear to be in. I had nothing but complete admiration and respect for the guy. Love the show because they gave him a slot and his story was very heart warming and touching.
Reviews
16 Reviews
Poker Face
(2022)
rosscosjunk@yahoo.com
24 January 2023
I was blown away by how shallow and incredibly condescending this movie was. On one hand the plot made no overall sense. The drugs, the so called convoluted plot twist. Absolutely no sense at all. The tasteless "glam and bling" was like an over done Guy Richie film and pushed into your face over and over, when someone who's truly sophisticated and successful (or can act as such) wouldn't need so many props to keep reminding us. The reactions of the main characters that we were shown were quite frankly bizzare (maybe it was the drugs). If it was the drugs, what we were privy to was a load of people off their faces making absolutely no sense at all - and no movie should ever be based on something like that. Russel Crowe's "enlightenment" concluding the film fell flatter than a coffin lid. Anyway, I hope he has another go at directing, but he's much better at just acting. Master and Commander. Obviously this movie cost a bob or two, but maybe next time he should consider "what makes a good script". If you can't visualise it Russell, you shouldn't make a movie about it. If you could visualise this, visualise differently next time.
Crimes of the Future
(2022)
It is a "crime". It's called intellectual property theft.
23 June 2022
If anyone has ever read Iain M. Banks and his Culture universe novels, they'd recognised immediately that several of the scenes and the main premise of this movies is stolen directly from his novels. They were original when Iain wrote them. A monastery where a guy going through the late life immortality boredom period has his eyes surgically replaced with ears in order to experience the transcendence of an alien music played through giant ancient flutes carved into a range of mountains. A party where the theme is "horrific and grotesque body injuries where a surgeon actually performs all the injuries for the guest because pain is a thing of the past and nearly every physical injury is survivable. I don't think people should take other peoples ideas and try to pass them off as their own originality.
The Tragedy of Macbeth
(2021)
Least Legible I have ever heard (or not heard)
18 January 2022
When it comes to Shakespeare, you can't bumble through you lines. As well as you may know your lines, as well as you might think they are making sense to you, you can't neglect the audience completely, assuming they're following your every word. To do so shows complete disrespect for your viewer.
I love D and it's fantastic to see him in this kind of adaptation. He's one of my favourite actors and if anyone can nail Macbeth, it's him, he's a skilled and developed actor.
But Joel's clearly WAY above his head here. While the bland monochromes might be stylish, unfortunately the performances are equally monochrome and vacuous.
The mumbling, monologues and utterances along with the soulless performances leave you brain dead in less than 5 minutes. I did my best and I felt sorely disappointed after about 20 minutes, that's all I could stand.
I've seen school plays lay on the bard better than this garbage.
Macbeth = Destroyed.
I love D and it's fantastic to see him in this kind of adaptation. He's one of my favourite actors and if anyone can nail Macbeth, it's him, he's a skilled and developed actor.
But Joel's clearly WAY above his head here. While the bland monochromes might be stylish, unfortunately the performances are equally monochrome and vacuous.
The mumbling, monologues and utterances along with the soulless performances leave you brain dead in less than 5 minutes. I did my best and I felt sorely disappointed after about 20 minutes, that's all I could stand.
I've seen school plays lay on the bard better than this garbage.
Macbeth = Destroyed.
Chernobyl: Abyss
(2021)
rosscosjunk@yahoo.com
21 July 2021
Shortly after the gritty and realistic, highly acclaimed BBC television TV mini series Russia's Government announced that it's country should have created the adaptation or depiction of the events surrounding Chernobyl.
It should not and this movie is why it should not. With an incident as serious as Chernobyl, people want the truth. They aren't going to be eating popcorn. They don't want action and hero's and some funk'd up version of events.
This is an awful movie that has absolutely no respect or regard for the many thousands of victims of Chernobyl, their story or their suffering.
It shows utter contempt for Russia's own fellow countrymen.
It should not and this movie is why it should not. With an incident as serious as Chernobyl, people want the truth. They aren't going to be eating popcorn. They don't want action and hero's and some funk'd up version of events.
This is an awful movie that has absolutely no respect or regard for the many thousands of victims of Chernobyl, their story or their suffering.
It shows utter contempt for Russia's own fellow countrymen.
Infinite
(2021)
Absurd Assasins Creed Copy - Call the Lawyers
14 June 2021
I am sure I have dropped into a parallel universe sometimes like Philip K. Dick, where I have somehow stepped 90deg left into an alternate reality, where someone decided to spend a couple of million pounds creating a replica of Assassins Creed. The movie with Michael Fassbender - based on a computer game. A movie which for all intents and purposes should never have been created - essentially trashing Michael Fassbender's credibility as a fine actor. Marky Mark has nothing like as prodigious a career to tarnish with this Computer Garbage Imagining, but we've seen this before with a different skin (seeds, apples whatever). Neither Assasins Creed or Infinite ever should have been incarnated. Never mind reincarnated.
Ava
(IV) (2020)
rosscosjunk@yahoo.com
27 August 2020
So it was an average movie with some decent action, worth a watch, but I have to say I've seen about 5 of these "hit-woman" movies in the last 5 years and they're wearing a little bit thin. It doesn't matter how well trained you are, unless your Bruce Lee's sister, a 55 kg woman ain't dropping a 400lb bloke.
Anyway, my major complaint is with the trailer. It's the full movie in 45 seconds. Watch that and you've seen the movie, plot, the lot.
Anyway, my major complaint is with the trailer. It's the full movie in 45 seconds. Watch that and you've seen the movie, plot, the lot.
Dark Skies
(2013)
Not Movie Material
4 April 2013
When your paying a good £10 (sometimes £15 peek times) to go and see a movie, you expect an experience. Unfortunately Dark Skies didn't make the transition well from a TV show to a movie. The build-up is poor, leaving you unattached to the family's plight and the effects and creature features are very scant and low budget. There isn't enough material and what material there is has already been done on TV just as well a million times.
What your left with is something which has obviously only cost slightly more than a TV show episode. It's very familiar alien ground, there's nothing new, it's basically just a summary of every alien abduction program you've seen before. Very dull and no surprises.
I walked out of the movie theatre feeling robbed and thinking "So was that it?" I could have quite happily sat at home and watched something like "Ancient Aliens" on history channel or "Are We Alone" and felt equally (if not more) entertained.
Poor... Just ...poor...
What your left with is something which has obviously only cost slightly more than a TV show episode. It's very familiar alien ground, there's nothing new, it's basically just a summary of every alien abduction program you've seen before. Very dull and no surprises.
I walked out of the movie theatre feeling robbed and thinking "So was that it?" I could have quite happily sat at home and watched something like "Ancient Aliens" on history channel or "Are We Alone" and felt equally (if not more) entertained.
Poor... Just ...poor...
War Horse
(2011)
There's pulling at the heart string, but then
9 January 2012
Why not skip the nonsense Spielberg and just bang out a movie showing Seal pups being clubbed to death.
This is transparently just a movie about Cruelty to animals and how we are (most of the time) less "human" than they can be. It's not something I personally don't already know. It's not an issue I need to have visualised and dramatised for my kids though in order to traumatise them into remembering "being cruel to animals is bad!" Making animals appear to be "smart" is one way to bring up kids that abuse animals. When the animals don't do what they say, then the next step which is coming is probably a beating for that animal. "Why isn't this animal doing what I ask it to? That horse did!" Explaining to children that animals are completely different to humans and don't (most of the time) understand us is probably a better idea (because we are supposedly more intelligent). Explaining that any person that hits an animal is probably THE most dumb person walking, would be another.
It's a damn shame you've stooped to it Spielberg, just to sell tickets to parents who like seeing their kids crying though. You must be thinking about retirement? (Hopefully).
Terrible run of the mill movie (allegedly about the bonds we make with animals - or more truthfully - the way many betray those bonds).
This is transparently just a movie about Cruelty to animals and how we are (most of the time) less "human" than they can be. It's not something I personally don't already know. It's not an issue I need to have visualised and dramatised for my kids though in order to traumatise them into remembering "being cruel to animals is bad!" Making animals appear to be "smart" is one way to bring up kids that abuse animals. When the animals don't do what they say, then the next step which is coming is probably a beating for that animal. "Why isn't this animal doing what I ask it to? That horse did!" Explaining to children that animals are completely different to humans and don't (most of the time) understand us is probably a better idea (because we are supposedly more intelligent). Explaining that any person that hits an animal is probably THE most dumb person walking, would be another.
It's a damn shame you've stooped to it Spielberg, just to sell tickets to parents who like seeing their kids crying though. You must be thinking about retirement? (Hopefully).
Terrible run of the mill movie (allegedly about the bonds we make with animals - or more truthfully - the way many betray those bonds).
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
(2011)
Absolute 10
9 January 2012
Just in case anyone wondered if I EVER gave out tens (which I know you wont), THIS is one of those tens.
My dad was a smoker and in his bedroom there was a matching yellow turtle shell wardrobe and headboard. When you walked into his bedroom, there was a heavy smell of stale cigarette tobacco, in the wardrobe draw an expensive but plain watch, ties and lighter. He was a man of a certain era. 60's. Men where men.
This movie conveys that foreboding "school discipline" type menace of years gone by better than any movie I have ever watched. A time just before Britain was about to shed its cold war skin.
The performances are outstanding, the script is outstanding, the visuals are outstanding. There is NOTHING about this movie I didn't love. You are drowned in an engrossing story from the very start and are treated to some of the best British acting performances you are every likely to see again on screen.
Even if you think you may not like this kind of movie, you shouldn't miss it for the world. It may not be Batman, Ironman, Alien (yes I'm looking at you, cause I also like those kinds of movies), but ANYONE who enjoys "movies" should see this film.
It's an absolute classic. Every performance is AMAZING but none more so than Gary Oldman - George Smiley - he completely dotted the "i".
My dad was a smoker and in his bedroom there was a matching yellow turtle shell wardrobe and headboard. When you walked into his bedroom, there was a heavy smell of stale cigarette tobacco, in the wardrobe draw an expensive but plain watch, ties and lighter. He was a man of a certain era. 60's. Men where men.
This movie conveys that foreboding "school discipline" type menace of years gone by better than any movie I have ever watched. A time just before Britain was about to shed its cold war skin.
The performances are outstanding, the script is outstanding, the visuals are outstanding. There is NOTHING about this movie I didn't love. You are drowned in an engrossing story from the very start and are treated to some of the best British acting performances you are every likely to see again on screen.
Even if you think you may not like this kind of movie, you shouldn't miss it for the world. It may not be Batman, Ironman, Alien (yes I'm looking at you, cause I also like those kinds of movies), but ANYONE who enjoys "movies" should see this film.
It's an absolute classic. Every performance is AMAZING but none more so than Gary Oldman - George Smiley - he completely dotted the "i".
The Awakening
(I) (2011)
That was just daft
8 January 2012
Warning: Spoilers
MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS (BUT THEY WONT BE AS BAD AS THE END OF THIS FILM).
I'm sorry, that was just silly. I can't really explain to you here why it was silly due to spoilers, which seems like such an injustice to you as your probably just interested in whether or not the movie is worth watching and therefore my answer, in short, would have to be, not really.
Suffice it to say, have you ever read a book that ends with "it never happened" at all? No? The reason why you haven't is because that premise for a story would probably be totally unacceptable to you. What would have been the point of reading the book and investing your time in the Characters anyway? That's been done before AND better (I recalled in particular Sixth Sense... or even Unbreakable?) and while the approached to that "twist" was subtle and spectacular in a way, this movie attempts it like a bolting horse and carriage with the wedding bride still clinging to the back of it for dear life (and yes... YOU are expected in the Church on time).
Whats worse is that within 10 seconds of her arrival at the school, I was saying to myself "my god... I hope they aren't attempting that old trick... and unfortunately for me... they were".
Disappointing an definitely NOT an IMDb "7" (if that thing actually STILL means anything to you).
I'm sorry, that was just silly. I can't really explain to you here why it was silly due to spoilers, which seems like such an injustice to you as your probably just interested in whether or not the movie is worth watching and therefore my answer, in short, would have to be, not really.
Suffice it to say, have you ever read a book that ends with "it never happened" at all? No? The reason why you haven't is because that premise for a story would probably be totally unacceptable to you. What would have been the point of reading the book and investing your time in the Characters anyway? That's been done before AND better (I recalled in particular Sixth Sense... or even Unbreakable?) and while the approached to that "twist" was subtle and spectacular in a way, this movie attempts it like a bolting horse and carriage with the wedding bride still clinging to the back of it for dear life (and yes... YOU are expected in the Church on time).
Whats worse is that within 10 seconds of her arrival at the school, I was saying to myself "my god... I hope they aren't attempting that old trick... and unfortunately for me... they were".
Disappointing an definitely NOT an IMDb "7" (if that thing actually STILL means anything to you).
Mirrors 2
(2010 Video)
Truly Terrible
4 October 2010
For one the first movie wasn't very good (so your expectations are low anyway). BUT this movie is WAY worse. The dialogue is terrible and at times the acting is almost laughable. Nick Stahl has been in some decent movies, but in this he looks like he's just come out of rehab and took this part for a quick buck. He clearly didn't read the script or watch the first movie, which makes me think he didn't care as long as he got the work.
If your watching it for the shocks, you won't find any in this which actually "work" (not unless your of an extremely sensitive disposition at least). A character doing "insane things" in a mirror while a "normal" person at the other side of it "isn't" can only work SO MANY TIMES (like once) before your completely bored and used to the whole thing.
No story. No plot. No believable characters. No dialogue. No scares. No decent effects. No decent nudity (at least get REAL looking women, not plastic surgeon modelling wanna be actress rejects). Not worth renting.
At the end of this movie one of the characters screams. I knew EXACTLY how he felt. I imagined he'd just watched the movie himself and was sharing my pain.
If your watching it for the shocks, you won't find any in this which actually "work" (not unless your of an extremely sensitive disposition at least). A character doing "insane things" in a mirror while a "normal" person at the other side of it "isn't" can only work SO MANY TIMES (like once) before your completely bored and used to the whole thing.
No story. No plot. No believable characters. No dialogue. No scares. No decent effects. No decent nudity (at least get REAL looking women, not plastic surgeon modelling wanna be actress rejects). Not worth renting.
At the end of this movie one of the characters screams. I knew EXACTLY how he felt. I imagined he'd just watched the movie himself and was sharing my pain.
Intruder
(2008)
Very Bad Indeed
4 January 2010
In contrast to the "main" review on this movie with regard to the below average IMDb rating, I would have to strongly disagree.
I find it very difficult to imagine how it's even scored 3.8 (current score at the time of writing this comment).
This movie is the absolute definition of "amateur" in every sense (right down to the movie poster). The acting, if it can be called that, is terrible. The story / plot is none existent and I have seen much finer movies produced by young students.
I could only manage to watch 20 minutes of this movie (and I try very hard to watch an entire film before forming an opinion). I fast forwarded beyond this and found no redeeming sections in the entire film.
To the Director: Please "attempt" to learn your trade (Or employ someone who has) before attempting to release another movie. You will not make any friends with this, therefore I can only imagine you are out to either rip people off or make enemies (In the first case, shame on you, in the second, I hope you used a false name).
I find it very difficult to imagine how it's even scored 3.8 (current score at the time of writing this comment).
This movie is the absolute definition of "amateur" in every sense (right down to the movie poster). The acting, if it can be called that, is terrible. The story / plot is none existent and I have seen much finer movies produced by young students.
I could only manage to watch 20 minutes of this movie (and I try very hard to watch an entire film before forming an opinion). I fast forwarded beyond this and found no redeeming sections in the entire film.
To the Director: Please "attempt" to learn your trade (Or employ someone who has) before attempting to release another movie. You will not make any friends with this, therefore I can only imagine you are out to either rip people off or make enemies (In the first case, shame on you, in the second, I hope you used a false name).
The Seduction of Dr. Fugazzi
(2009)
Terrible Garbage
5 April 2009
Definitely worth a look if you enjoy weird (stuff that makes NO SENSE at all), art-house-type films (shaky camera work and terrible acting) that defy the restrictive boundaries of contemporary, mainstream American films (in other words, it's so bad, there are NO WORDS IN THE English DICTIONARY TO DESCRIBE exactly how bad it is). Also, lots of perverse, wacky humour and sexually suggestive material (yep, when all else fails - revert to boobs and bottoms) that will rattle your delicate sensibilities for days to come (I've already forgotten about it - the only thing I'm wondering is why someone/ANYONE! would waste their time, let alone their money to watch it). Please DO NOT compare this movie to ANY movie (original or not) from Directors Lynch and Kubrick. It's like comparing J.K. Rowling to William Shakespeare. (In fact, not even that close).
The Children
(2008)
Terrible Movie
31 March 2009
45 People gave this a 10. 22 People gave it a 9. 43 People gave it a 8. 39 People gave it a 7.
I'll leave it to you to guess how many of those are employees of vertigo videos.
The plot is nonsense. "As if" 4, 6 year old children could murder 6 adults.
The person who wrote this must have a phobia of children to think this material is scary/thriller or psychologically "anything".
It's like me be afraid of "hot cross buns" and then making a very poor movie about it and expecting every one else to share my fear of them. (Yes, it REALLY IS that bad).
If you go to watch this at the movies (I expect it wont even see a big screen); but if you DO decide to rent this movie, then just remember what I told you!:
If you indulge these morons by renting ONE of these garbage movies, you'll only have yourself to blame the NEXT time your watching crap just like this.
If they make a huge loss on it (which they rightly deserve to) - maybe they'll think twice before shooting a budget movie with no usable script or material other than an expensive digital camera, a few crap actors and the directors own house that YOU paid for in the country.
If this is all these people can do for work, they deserve to be OUT of work.
I'll leave it to you to guess how many of those are employees of vertigo videos.
The plot is nonsense. "As if" 4, 6 year old children could murder 6 adults.
The person who wrote this must have a phobia of children to think this material is scary/thriller or psychologically "anything".
It's like me be afraid of "hot cross buns" and then making a very poor movie about it and expecting every one else to share my fear of them. (Yes, it REALLY IS that bad).
If you go to watch this at the movies (I expect it wont even see a big screen); but if you DO decide to rent this movie, then just remember what I told you!:
If you indulge these morons by renting ONE of these garbage movies, you'll only have yourself to blame the NEXT time your watching crap just like this.
If they make a huge loss on it (which they rightly deserve to) - maybe they'll think twice before shooting a budget movie with no usable script or material other than an expensive digital camera, a few crap actors and the directors own house that YOU paid for in the country.
If this is all these people can do for work, they deserve to be OUT of work.
The Interpreter
(2005)
Boring and Slow.
29 April 2005
I'm really fed up of the "please love us" propaganda movies coming out of America at the moment. I'm starting to think that Hollywood is being run by the CIA. Maybe Sidney Pollack is on the payroll or something.
It seems like every time America does something "bad", Hollywood comes out and produces a movie which reflects a completely different image of the truth as propaganda. What's pathetic is that (to me at least) it's 'so' obvious.
For one thing, since when did America have ANYTHING to do with the United Nations? Last time I heard, George Bush didn't even believe in it. And yet here we are to believe that America supports the United Nations. Also, it reflects America as supporting the Hague and War Crimes tribunals. Again, this is just NOT the case. If it were George Bush would be on trial. As a reverse psychology aspect, there's even a point were US agent tries to use her "authority" to allow a UN security guard to let her through some barriers, but the guy says "your on international soil now". Am I being cynical? I try not to be; and if your American, I don't want to insult you (*hey I hate our politicians as well!), but I don't like having the wool pulled over my eyes. The brainwashing is very subtle and you've got to watch yourself.
As for the movie itself, it's incredibly boring and slow. Sean Penn does look good and I peg him as the "new" Robert De Nero. He even looks like him in this movie (*I doubt this is just accidental - it seems like all actors these days have to be the "new" someone or another - instead of just being themselves and having their own style guess it makes the easier to typecast), but his acting has always fallen far short of anything like De Nero. Nicole Kidman just can't act, her African accent is appalling and while I'm sure she has die hard fans who love her for things 'other' than her acting, in this film she looks unconvincing and only adds the the movies overall monotony; bless her though off screen, she does seem like an honestly "nice" and down to earth kind of girl.
This film has been done so many times before, there's no twists, no turns, no surprises. Just a constant stream of boring dialog and very little action (or anything else comes to that). It's an American sympathiser movie, which is what makes me believe it has been produced entirely as an American propaganda movie. Avoid this movie, unless you're an American and want to "imagine" an entirely different image of America's International Policy to that of the rest of the world.
It seems like every time America does something "bad", Hollywood comes out and produces a movie which reflects a completely different image of the truth as propaganda. What's pathetic is that (to me at least) it's 'so' obvious.
For one thing, since when did America have ANYTHING to do with the United Nations? Last time I heard, George Bush didn't even believe in it. And yet here we are to believe that America supports the United Nations. Also, it reflects America as supporting the Hague and War Crimes tribunals. Again, this is just NOT the case. If it were George Bush would be on trial. As a reverse psychology aspect, there's even a point were US agent tries to use her "authority" to allow a UN security guard to let her through some barriers, but the guy says "your on international soil now". Am I being cynical? I try not to be; and if your American, I don't want to insult you (*hey I hate our politicians as well!), but I don't like having the wool pulled over my eyes. The brainwashing is very subtle and you've got to watch yourself.
As for the movie itself, it's incredibly boring and slow. Sean Penn does look good and I peg him as the "new" Robert De Nero. He even looks like him in this movie (*I doubt this is just accidental - it seems like all actors these days have to be the "new" someone or another - instead of just being themselves and having their own style guess it makes the easier to typecast), but his acting has always fallen far short of anything like De Nero. Nicole Kidman just can't act, her African accent is appalling and while I'm sure she has die hard fans who love her for things 'other' than her acting, in this film she looks unconvincing and only adds the the movies overall monotony; bless her though off screen, she does seem like an honestly "nice" and down to earth kind of girl.
This film has been done so many times before, there's no twists, no turns, no surprises. Just a constant stream of boring dialog and very little action (or anything else comes to that). It's an American sympathiser movie, which is what makes me believe it has been produced entirely as an American propaganda movie. Avoid this movie, unless you're an American and want to "imagine" an entirely different image of America's International Policy to that of the rest of the world.
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