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Rel (2018)
Liked the original better....
I dunno... I liked this show more when it was still called "Crashing".
Fantastic Four (2015)
Only fantastic at creating unlikable characters...
Seriously- this movie craps on my childhood.
EVERY character is thoroughly unlikable. No friendships (the key to their team & the longevity of the franchise), no integrity, no humor... really nothing but selfish self-interest. Makes for incredibly bland & 2 dimensional characters.
This could have been SO much more- & in the hay day of superhero films... there's no excuse for it not to be.
Marvel took 3rd tier characters Iron Man & Captain America, and 4th tier characters Black Panther & Doctor Strange and made them nuanced, interesting, relevant, and even beloved. Somehow the opposite has been done here- 1st tier characters, absolutely dragged through the muck & stripped of anything that made them interesting, or themselves.
DC Super Hero Girls (2015)
Cute... but what's w/ the crappy theme song?!
Can't figure out why, in the theme song, they say "We're D.C. Superhero girls!"...
I mean... does Harry Potter ever say: "I'm a WB wizard!", or Punisher: "I'm a Netflix vigilante!"?
No. No they did not. Because a character referencing the fact that they're actually just a character is the antithesis of the objective of cinematic storytelling, is jarring, & just plain weird.
Magic for Humans (2018)
Why choose the lamest interactions??
1st two minutes:
"I recommend in the future... don't take no other black person's iPhone 7S Plus!".
Ouch. Cringe-worthy...
I feel like including that type of clip promotes racism & stereotypes.
I probably would have cut the part where the audience member makes the trick weirdly racial & claims that they lost a phone that doesn't exist.
Just saying.
Casting Calls: 'Blade' (2018)
Sloppy movie examples for Denzel...
Lol, for all the other actors- the narrative followed a sensical timeline... referring to films that came out BEFORE Blade, as examples of why they were mulled over for the role.
For some reason w/ Denzel- they cite the example of 3 films... which came out 12, 16, & 18 years later.
Huh??
iZombie (2015)
Boring.. same "gag" dozens of shows in a row.
Spoiler: She eats the brains of murder victims, gains their partial memory and COMPLETE personality, uses the former to help solve their murder, & the latter to "amuse" anyone w/ a very, very, very low bar of entertainment. She eats the brains of an old lady & becomes over the top gossipy. She eats the brains of a teen & becomes an over the top social media weirdo. She eats the brains of a dominatrix & becomes over the top inappropriately sexual. She eats the brains of a pathological liar & tells over the top unbelievable yarns. She eats the brains of a soccer dad & gives over the top "worried dad" advice. She eats the brains of a lifestyle guru & spits over the top cheesy Zen sayings This list could go on for 45 lines! Because the unimaginative writers regurgitate this tired & dull premise literally EVERY episode to "get laughs". Literally nobody dies that has anything resembling a normal personality, and it is always taken to a silly, absurd, unrealistic extreme. Misses every single one of the good parts of the source material comic... (her unlikely relationship w/ a monster hunter, her friendship with a cuddly werewolf, etc.) & really only nails the look of Liv, the main character.
Dinosaur Train (2009)
Warning!!! (Scientific inaccuracy)
OK, so this show does a good job of being educational & realistic, but in the intro a T-Rex hatches from an egg, in a Pteranodon nest.
This type of scientific inaccuracy should be rectified.
Perhaps an explanation. Otherwise, it could be confusing to children.
Other than that.... good show!
Anomalisa (2015)
What a turd of a movie...
Love Kaufman, looked fwd to this. It sucks. No plot. No likable or relatable characters. No resolution. No conflict. Banality at its worst. Feels "forced"... nothing feels natural about the way anyone acts or delivers unbelievable dialogue. Main character suddenly changes in the way you'd assume he'd feel & act from the very very very sparse character development. Main character is simultaneously intelligent & understands people (professional speaker & author of books on sales techniques and customer service, or something like that) and completely stupid & out of touch with how normal people act *slight spoiler* (buys a small child a sex doll from a sex shop, that is filled with stranger's cum & gives it to him at a birthday party) Lol, wut?? This movie is garbage.
Fin.
Lucifer: Lucifer, Stay. Good Devil. (2016)
Absolute Garbage!!! Bad acting, bad plot, REALLY bad characterization
So..... I absolutely LOVE the character Lucifer. I read all 75 issues of the acclaimed Mike Carey comic book that this is loosely based off of & I adored it. This "Lucifer" is GARBAGE!!!! Bland.... randomly cares about stupid things that are beneath him. Is unrealistic an OK word to describe fictional characters?? Lol. Ugggggggh.... OK, (very minor scene description: NOT a spoiler), but Lucifer deciding to "prank" a street preacher by getting in his head, was silly, embarrassing, campy, frat-boyish, & in no way dark, badass, or edgy. THAT is the character. A frat boy that is the devil. Yuck! Puke. TERRIBLE!!!! Ffs, the "PRINCE OF LIES" actually chastises the phony street preacher & delivers the line: "I hate liars!" (non-ironically) before scaring him to "teach him a lesson". Wtf????!!!! Are you for serious??! Vomit. This show SUCKS!!!!!!!!! Then they took the AMAZING character Mazikeen (Google it... she ROCKS), who follows Lucifer from hell as his loyal bodyguard, & DESTROYS her... making her a token weak/sexy female "eye candy" character, nicknamed "Maze" & constantly horny. Ummmmmmm.... no. Just no. A thousand times, NO! Mazikeen is the quiet, stolid, merciless, possibly more badass even than Lucifer, no joke (literally & figuratively) of a bodyguard. Savage! Her one key trait was that she wears a mask on earth - showing one half of her flawless gorgeous face, and covering the other half- that is horribly disfigured down to nerves & bones. In the comic; scenes showing her and Lucifer kiss were somehow both sexy AND disturbing. Sadly, this show has her kinda in a "stripper/bartender" type of role, rather than bodyguard. While Lucifer is not a serious, enigmatic, powerful & formidable being - he is a jokester, making many, many, many (truthfully... almost ALL of his dialogue) unfunny attempts at snark and repeatedly trying desperately to impress humans by saying again and again "I really am the devil, guys!". What drivel!!!!! It is HORRENDOUS. I watched all of episode one & part of episode two before getting too angry, and coming here instead. Do NOT waste your time on this teratism of a show that should have been mercifully aborted as a fetus. It couldn't be worse.