simon_ecc Reviews

The Grey (2011)

Jaws on snow

[3/10 · 15 April 2023]

Jaws on snow. Airplane crash survivors have to trek through the Alaskan wilderness pursued by a pack of demented wolves. Why are the wolves demented? Have they got rabies? I don't think so. They're demented, because it makes for a bad storyline. Ideally, it would make for a good story line. Unfortunately, it doesn't. Liam Neeson plays his usual emotionally damaged hard-man with flashbacks to him with his deceased wife. Why do said survivors decide to trek across open snow field precisely when there's a blizzard? Wouldn't it be better to remain in shelter until there's a window? Maybe they've got rabies. Honestly, it's just trite rubbish.

Creed (II) (2015)

A bit humdrum and dull

[4/10 · 1 January 2021]

Disclaimer...ok, I didn't watch all of it. About an hour. I'd read reviews and thought it would be a really good film.

There's some bad script writing. The bit about the job promotion at the beginning is really cliched as the audience know that he's not going to take it and it's ham-fistedly dealt with by the mother explicitly mentioning the job promotion. It's just a bit amateur.

It's a boxer's film, I suppose. If you don't like boxing, there's not much appeal.

The Green Mile (1999)

A bit dull

[4/10 · 14 October 2020]

Slow and a bit dull. Also new age and pagan. Suitable for people who believe in 'spirituality' (whatever that means).

The New Legends of Monkey (2018–2020)

Warms up

[8/10 · 18 August 2020]

I started watching the first episode, and thought it was pretty terrible. Hollywood type brash nonsense (even though it's Australian-made), cliches, takes itself too seriously, one-dimensional etc.. For some reason, I kept watching. It gets much better. It's funny and camp, slightly pantomime, and is knowingly so.

The characters also develop and become more real and sympathetic. They develop relationships with one another. I suppose this is partly actors growing into their roles and also the director/writers seeing nuances.

Some of the story lines are also quite interesting and it touches on some dark themes, as well as ideas of friendship and love. The last episode I actually found very moving, and also convincing based on how the characters had grown together up to that point.

Watch past the first two episodes.

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

Do I have to?

[4/10 · 12 August 2020]

There's a quote from the film which runs something like: "The most precious resource in the universe is not oil, not gold, it's time." Follow the advice by avoiding the film.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

Weak premise

[4/10 · 24 July 2020]

The big problem with this film is the premise. I can understand why we should want to save the whale or why we should be ashamed of ourselves if rhinos become extinct. The idea that dinosaurs which have been re-engineered as some type of frankenstein reenactment, which are now about to go extinct, should be saved as a product of an elevated sense of morality is ridiculous. Either the screenwriters/ directors know this, in which case they are frauds, or they don't know, in which case they are vain or just have really poor judgment.

The Clapper (I) (2017)

Sidestream view of Hollywood

[7/10 · 22 July 2020]

The Clapper is a cliched romantic comedy. That's its worst fault. What it does which the vast majority of romcoms avoid is paint the details of people on the edge. His flat is modest, the decor is seventies, the floor is tiled black and white, he puts 5 dollars in the pay-as-you-go internet service, he has to get on the bus with a jerry can to go to the petrol station. Things that people on the margins do to scrabble about to make some sort of living.

Hail, Caesar! (2016)

Funny pastiche of bygone Hollywood

[6/10 · 26 April 2020]

One scene in particular (saiors in a bar) is brilliant and recreates the atmosphere of old Hollywood musicals to much better effect than the over-hyped LaLa Land. Shows you can't rely on ratings and that there's a lot of follow the herd mentality.

Lots of the script is really beautifully balanced. Also Ralph Fiennes is fantastic.

The storyline is not particularly strong, but I don't think this matters. Really it;s a sort of loosely connected set of vignettes, lots of which are really well crafted and funny.

The Irishman (2019)

Old age homes on big brother

[4/10 · 17 December 2019]

I took the title from someone else's review. That perfectly describes this film.

The Irishman (2019)

Slow and narcissistic

[4/10 · 16 December 2019]

What a load of hot air. Scorsese has serious issues of self-importance. It's banal and lacks depth and needs serious editing.

Sex and the City 2 (2010)

Rubbish

[1/10 · 4 July 2019]

Has the pace of a boring documentary, but less interesting.

La La Land (2016)

A poor attempt to capture the essence of earlier musicals

[4/10 · 23 February 2019]

I should say that I stopped watching after one hour. That was enough. The film still hadn't started. Apart from the fact that the music is mediocre, the real problem lies in the lack of authenticity of the characters. She is supposed to be a down on her luck actress and he is a down on his luck jazz pianist. The trouble is, they fail to portray this vulnerability because there is none of it to portray. If you think about Billy Bigelow in Carousel, he puffs himself up and puts on veneer of bravado because underneath he believes he's a nobody. In the end, this is his undoing. In La La Land, the two main characters are Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling (rather than the characters they are supposed to be portraying). I don't buy into the characters at all. She lives in a nice place. They both have cars. They go to nice places if they want to. There is no sense of feeling disenfranchised or smashed by life. There are no songs anything remotely like "If I loved you", "Feed the birds", "The sound of music". High school musical is way better.

Arrival (II) (2016)

One of my favourite films

[8/10 · 19 January 2019]

I love this film. Nothing happens, yet somehow it's completely enthralling. I suppose it's because most of the time you are wondering what it is that the visitors want, what their intentions are. The plot is a little far-fetched, but then it is sci-fi, so you can forgive it. If you are interested in language and sci-fi, then most likely you would also love it.

Behind Enemy Lines (2001)

Top gun remake that's heavy on bombast

[5/10 · 18 January 2019]

Lots of cliches. Jaded, rebellious, talented airman finds himself through adversity. Admiral rediscovers his raison d'etre etc... etc.... It's not very subtle and there's also some terrible choice of cinematography (helicopters flying into the sunset towards the end with no prior indication that it is sunset or that the sun is visible). Crass music as he jumps off to catch helicopter rope etc....

I don't like it when a film tries to engender a particular response within you and you're not supposed to notice. I much prefer my propaganda direct and in your face. Unless this was supposed to be satire/pastiche, in which case I missed it.

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

Long MTV video

[3/10 · 6 October 2018]

It's just an extended music video,basically. It has that vibe. Semi naked gyrating women and supposedly aspirationally cool guys.

Momentum (I) (2015)

Incommensurate dialogue

[5/10 · 19 September 2018]

The dialogue, certainly at the beginning is not in keeping with the costume. "Watch him. He's your responsibility." in the safe "Help me open it" he wouldn't say that it's much too polite. "Open it". The register of the dialogue, given that they wear those costumes, is badly chosen. It's bad directing really, although the scriptwriter should have noted that the register jarred with the dress.

Mr. Popper's Penguins (2011)

Jim Carrey's shtick

[3/10 · 16 August 2018]

I just find him really irritating. He was good in the mask and truman show, but often he's just really IRRITATING. Sorry. To be honest, I think he probably knows this.

Gravity (2013)

Disappointing

[4/10 · 16 August 2018]

I was looking forward to this film, but it was really disappointing. No real story line. I like sci-fi, but this was poor. If you saw it in cinema, the visuals would prob be amazing, but I don't think that justifies poor script.

The Last Days on Mars (2013)

Make sure you're drunk when you watch it

[2/10 · 21 July 2018]

When the zombie appears and takes a drill and drills into the guy's stomach, it's just comical. It's supposed to be sci-fi horror, but it's much more like "Scary Movie", except that it takes itself seriously. If you had a lot to drink and then watched this film, it might be hilariously bad.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)

Guns

[3/10 · 27 December 2017]

The synopsis reads "a bored married couple" and I m not surprised. If I were them, I d also be bored. As far as I remember, someone fires a gun and someone else fires a gun. Somebody hides behind a wall and fires a gun, and somebody else fires back with a gun. You'd think that with all these guns going off, it would be enough to keep you awake, but the monotonous nature of the movie wins hands down, and you ll probably be asleep by the end.

Legally Blonde (2001)

Way better than you might expect

[8/10 · 20 December 2017]

Apparently, IMDB users who like this film also like "How to lose a guy in 10 days" which I ve also seen and is dreadful, pappy nonsense. However, this film I ve seen a few times and have enjoyed it each time. It's described as comedy, romance, but really it's just comedy. Reese Witherspoon is brilliant. The script is full of double entendres ("I ve got a big package"), so it doesn't take itself seriously. But the script is well written and well signposted so that her final performance is justified by two or three prior occasions.

Super Eruption (2011 TV Movie)

Garbage

[2/10 · 5 December 2017]

I've given it a 2 because I haven't seen the whole movie and therefore can't give it a 1. The script is terrible.

'Copy that.' 'Roger that.' 'Ok, let's go'. 'Let's move out now.' 'We've got to go now'.

(not exactly, but that sort of thing)

...although this is a direct quote. 'If I give you any more, it will overload and game over.'

It's complete dross.

The directing is also terrible. And the acting, although to be honest, I think you have to let them off, given the quality of the script.

I could say more, but it's just not worth it.

A Good Year (2006)

Nice colours

[5/10 · 23 October 2017]

A really, really rich investment banker is faced with the choice of remaining a really, really rich investment banker or rejecting that life in order to become a merely really rich wine grower in the south of France. This is presented as an existential crisis. Other than that ridiculous premise, it's an entertaining film.