jay-904-553300 Reviews

The Prototype (2022)

Hot Mess

[2/10 · 21 February 2024]

It's just hot garbage - embarrassingly bad. Embarrassing acting, embarrassing FX, embarrassing script... I've seen college film projects far superior to this. The story, such as it is, is nonsensical, hand-wavy, sci-fi hokum. The, uh, "action" is absolutely comical; the fight scenes look like SNL spoofs. Even just walking in front of horrible green-screen backgrounds is comically bad.

The absurdly high number of glowing reviews for this must be part of a campaign because anyone with functioning senses who watches this will quickly realize the remarkably low quality of every aspect of this movie.

Don't waste your time. Still curious? Ok, watch it, but understand that what you see in the first 15 minutes is *not* a fluke - the whole movie really is that bad.

Five Star Chef (2023– )

Generic Reality-show Competition

[5/10 · 23 July 2023]

Stereotypical reality competition. Melodramatic music constantly playing to try to make you feel tension. *Heavily* edited to manipulate your perception of the reactions of the judges and contestants -- sometimes the jump cuts are so bad, they show someone frowning in reaction to something, but then the next shot shows them laughing and smiling in what you can see is their *actual* reaction. Just the cookie-cutter reality formula with an exaggerated sense of self-importance because, oooo, 5-star restaurant. It's like a hundred other reality competitions. Some people will love it. I, however, am tired of this formula.

Jerrod Carmichael: Rothaniel (2022 TV Special)

Unfunny Self-absorption

[2/10 · 8 August 2022]

I knew literally nothing about Carmichael before watching Rothaniel, so I had no opinion of him one way or the other. I had just watched another comedy special, and Rothaniel showed up in my recommendations, so I checked it out.

The special probably shouldn't be categorized as comedy because it just wasn't funny. I kept waiting for actual comedy -- and thought I was missing something when the audience would laugh heartily at some barely humorous remark -- but I found none of it funny at all. I also got the distinct impression that the audience were all fans of Carmichael; they were clearly hanging on his every word and seemed to be looking for *anything* to laugh at. The problem for me was that there weren't many words to hang onto -- there were lots of long, gaping silences with Carmichael's head resting in his hand (like, through the entire show).

The whole thing felt really self-important and pretentious to me. It became obvious at a certain point that he was going to come out, so when he finally said it, it didn't have any impact. Honestly, it wouldn't have any impact on me one way or the other because I don't care about *any* celebrity's sexuality (I wish our culture was not obsessed with everyone's sexuality).

So, maybe this special is specifically meant for fans because it did nothing to pique my interest in Carmichael as a comedian. If it were categorized differently, I'd have a different opinion, but when something is categorized as comedy, I expect at least a few laughs. Rothaniel felt more like an off-Broadway, one-man play where the actor/writer/director uses the stage as a sort of therapy session. Despite the self-absorption of that pursuit, I'll grant that it has its place, but in this case, that place wasn't funny.

Dirty Work (1998)

Passable, but don't judge Norm by this film

[5/10 · 28 March 2022]

The thing that I love about Norm MacDonald is the very thing that makes this movie suffer. He was an utterly singular voice in comedy -- nobody thinks like or talks like Norm. His stand-up and his conversation (e.g., on talk shows) is hilarious to me. But that singularity of voice does not translate to acting. There are great comic actors, e.g. Chris Farley who's in the film, but acting is just not Norm's thing, and he has said so himself on multiple occasions.

I've been bingeing all things Norm off and on since his untimely death. He talked at some length about Dirty Work in an interview on Tom Green's show, so I decided I'd finally give it a watch despite seeing the low score it has on review sites. There were a handful of LOL moments (I truly did laugh *out loud* a few times) in this movie, but they were few and far between, and there are too many gags/jokes that fall flat. If you're able to watch it for free, it's worth it, but I can't say it's worth paying to watch.

If you're new to Norm's comedy and want to see him at his best, this movie isn't a very good introduction. Look up the numerous clips of him on YouTube (e.g., from his show or from talk-show interviews), and watch his stand-up specials -- that's where he shines like no one else.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Trials and Tribble-ations (1996) Season 5, Episode 6

A Must-See for TOS Fans

[9/10 · 14 December 2021]

Oh, how cheeky! If you were a fan of TOS, this is a must-see. Clearly, the producers/writers decided they just wanted to have some fun, and they sure did. Aside from being a lighthearted break from the usual DS9 seriousness, the integration of the new characters into scenes from the old show is fantastic.

I remember having seen Forrest Gump and thinking that splicing Forrest into those historical scenes was fun, but it was pretty easy to see how he didn't fit. In the couple of years since FG, the tech must've gotten considerably better because the way the DS9 characters are integrated into the old show looks great -- nearly seamless.

They have fun with the whole thing. They even managed to get the same actor who played the Klingon disguised as a human in TOS episode.

Not critical viewing in terms of the overall DS9 narrative, but TOS fans will find themselves smiling throughout the episode.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: The Ship (1996) Season 5, Episode 2

Surprisingly Emotional

[9/10 · 13 December 2021]

This was the first episode of *any* Star Trek series to actually make my eyes well up. Usually, the writing/direction give short shrift to incidental characters, but here they did a great job of making you care about Muniz (O'Brien's underling).

The episode was a great combination of mystery and interpersonal drama. The fundamental mystery was about why the Jem'Hadar didn't just storm the ship. Once we learn that there's something they want inside the ship and they don't want to risk damaging it, the mystery heightens since the DS9 crew don't know what it is and, hence, can't leverage it.

Relationships become strained as the crisis drags on and the DS9 crew struggle to both figure out what the Jem'Hadar want and figure out how to make use of the crashed ship. And the drama heightens as Muniz's condition worsens.

This was one of the most engaging episodes ever, and it's surprisingly emotional. Just sit back and enjoy the story as it unfolds.

The God of Death (2017)

Like a student film

[2/10 · 24 November 2018]

I occasionally seek out low-budget movies (mostly sci-fi) because they tend to explore less conventional ideas in less conventional ways. This movie is definitely low-budget, but it just plays like an amateurish student film trying (and badly failing) to be a Hollywood horror. I can endure 3rd-rate acting/directing/filming/effects in small doses, but not when they're across the board. The only thing that kept this from being a one-star rating was that I found some of the stylistic visual flair to show at least some concept of what could be done on a low budget -- the first 5-10 minutes of the film were like a low-budget version of Sin City (i.e., highly stylized) -- but then we go to much more mundane shots that look like video taken with a cell phone camera -- the camera work is just bad.

R. R. Baker loves extreme close-ups... especially of himself. Some of those shots are so extreme that they almost look like a parody. The movie feels like a vanity project. In an early sequence, Mr. Baker portrays himself like some superhero as he fights off a group of police officers (his colleagues, no less) with his quasi-karate and remarkable speed (all after he's barely recovered from a near-fatal bullet wound). Then there are his superhero jumps, most of which end with a shot where you only see his feet landing... to show how high he jumped... I guess?

Most of the acting is just outright terrible, some of it painfully so. There is a tragic death early on which should feel devastating, but by the time it happened, the characters were so badly portrayed that I just didn't care -- there wasn't a single moment that elicited a genuine emotional response.

There's an odd introduction to the movie which had me confused. Baker (as producer/director, not character) talks about how this is an "underground" movie as if it were revealing some hidden truths or some such. But the intro ends by "breaking character" with a schlocky attempt at a jump scare, which unintentionally foreshadows the quality of what's to come. In retrospect, I think the intro was probably put in as an excuse (or acknowledgment) of just how low the quality of the movie is.

As mentioned, I'm ok with low budgets when there's at least a good idea being explored, but The God of Death just played like a hack job -- the quality was extremely low, and the story just was not interesting. I stopped watching after 30 minutes.