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Orange Is the New Black: Mother's Day (2015)
Orange is the New Trash
I really loved the first two seasons of this show, perfect amounts of drama, comedy, romance and it could just appeal to everybody. However, due to a large portion of the audience coming from Tumblr, promoting the show through it's more oddball moments by posting gifs and more quotable scenes, they have decided to completely ruin this show by appeasing to this specific audience and completely ruining any serious tone the show had going for it. It's completely everywhere! They have a really serious dramatic moment and then there's just the most ridiculous scene ever, it doesn't know what kind of show it wants to even be anymore. This is just garbage now and I'm so disappointed they stooped this low just to make the worst part of the demographic happier. GREAT JOB.
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
50 Shades of Suicide
Well, I watched it and as per expected it was atrocious. Am I surprised? No. Fifty Shades of Grey was a book that somehow managed to get published and I have no idea how. It's as if the writer was a mom and rummaged on her 14 year old daughters computer and found a sexual fan fiction about some popular YouTuber and changed the names around and edited some of the stuff, made it longer and threw it at a few publishers. It became controversial for the absurd sexual content and a specific tampon scene. The movie takes this story and gives it a massive budget, and throws it on the big screen for you.
What are the good things?
The first hour of this movie is so bad that its actually good and pretty entertaining, the camera-work and soundtrack are honestly not half bad and Dakota Johnson is very attractive. That's honestly everything good I can name.
What are the bad things?
Fifty Shades of Grey is the worst big budget movie I have ever seen in my entire life. They try and go for subtlety and foreshadow a few things in the beginning but it's done so badly that it calls for a few awkward moments. The acting is sub par at best and the way the characters communicate to each other is ridiculously unrealistic. The first hour may be so bad its good, but the second hour is extremely boring, and it's just hard to watch. This movie honestly gave me anxiety.
"BUT ITS NOT MADE FOR GUYS!!!"
Honestly, I watch a lot of movies and I do watch a lot of movies people would consider chick flicks and have enjoyed some of them. It's such a ridiculously stupid argument. Maybe if you're a girl who doesn't watch very many movies ever and doesn't care about writing or anything like that, then they'll probably enjoy it. Good for you. But this movie if you actually take grasp of the elements that signify whether the movie is good or bad, then this swims deep into the bad side.
Fun fact: The guy who plays Mr. Grey has quit the franchise, seemingly due to his wife not being okay with it.
Should you see this?
If you're curious you can go ahead, the first hour of it would be fun to make fun of with friends because of how terrible it is but the second half is god awful.
Not Cool (2014)
Not Good (at all)
If you're familiar with Shane Dawson, you'll know that he makes very "edgy", unfunny videos on YouTube generally aimed towards kids that are thirteen and under that still think swearing in every sentence is funny, and that is another reason if you go look at the comments on the movie trailer or FAQ, you'd notice a ton of his fans asking if it's rated R. I personally think it's hilarious, but unlike that being funny, this movie is the complete opposite. You'd think that after the big trend of high school romantic comedies that came and went back in the mid 2000's that people would go ahead and stop making these films, or at least throw something new in the mix but Not Cool seems to take every one of these movies and throw them through a filter that only leaves behind the clichés. Now, making a comedy movie with an awful story is one thing but making a comedy movie that doesn't have either a good story or good comedy is a tragedy. Within the first five minutes you'll be shown glory holes, feces, pee, and vomit and apparently that is supposed to be funny. This is literally comedy at it's lowest form, expecting you to laugh because "Wow, poop is funny" or "Wow, he's drinking poop, that's hilarious!" and it really isn't. I personally don't know how spoilers can exist for this movie, because I'm pretty sure everybody has already seen this, except without the god-awful 5th grade potty humour. Anyways, we're introduced to the characters which include and are not limited to Shane Dawson who talks about how nice his hair is the entire movie and has a very deep, artsy side; his sister which apparently is the "hot girl" of the movie as this really annoying nerdy guy stalks her and makes jokes that try really hard to offend you, but only succeed in offending you because of how awful and unfunny they are and we have the girl who was bullied in high school who is now suddenly attractive and who "hates everyone and is a total snobby bitch". Honestly, I can't get into enough details about how annoying, and cliché these characters are without getting PTSD. All I can really say about this movie is WOW, this literal piece of **** cost $600,000 and my ten year old cousin could literally make a more funny, smart, and better movie. I walked into this because I thought it'd be so bad that it was funny, but this movie is just AWFUL and I thought that even Shane Dawson would be smarter than use such an awful script. THIS MOVIE MAKES ME WANT TO CRY.
Boyhood (2014)
Growing up
Boyhood is less of a movie, and more of an experience. It's an experience meant to take you on exactly what the title entails, your boyhood; but as the credits rolled I felt as if there were a lot of missed opportunities. Times where I feel like they should of shown more explanation, more experiences but obviously these things don't keep it from being a good film whatsoever. The characters aren't super extraordinary but it is refreshing to watch them grow through their phases, it is more or less growing up than Boyhood as the actual boy who's growing up is a very dull character. The soundtrack is really nice but I just feel as if it's unfinished and that there should of been a lot more shown, despite the run time already being nearly three hours. This movie is being critically appraised and well it definitely does deserve that for taking the time to come out with this, there are still things I feel that they should have added, or at least thought about. Richard is a great director, but it doesn't really shine through in this film, there are some sequences that just feel awkward and feel as if they should have spent more time on them, especially with the massive time frame of the film. It's not a bad movie by any means, and I did enjoy that.
Devil's Diary (2007)
The writers of Death Note and Final Destination walk into a bar..
A film like this shouldn't be hidden away from the world, it needs to be shown everywhere in film classes, shown to ANYONE who watches movies or has any aspirations whatsoever to be involved with the process, and as an aspiring film maker this movie will help in every reason.
This movie is pretty much a guide to film making, but rather showing you the do's and don'ts, it just shows you the don'ts. Taking away all the saturation, leaving ugly colours in order to show that the movie has a more serious tone to it, adding a god awful soundtrack along with HORRID writing, and ugly red transitions, this movie is what NOT to do and what NOT to like. You will appreciate films way more after viewing this movie, and although it may be a hard task despite its run time of ninety minutes, every minute of this soul breaking torture is worthwhile to aid you in the future. I would like to thank everybody involved with the making of this, for teaching me everything. Thank you.
10 out of 10.
Short Term 12 (2013)
One of the Best Movies in 2013
Despite treading on familiar ground Short Term 12 proves to stand out in the indie genre providing us with a realistic look into the lives of the kids and staff of a foster care with a superb cast. Everything about this movie is what makes it great. The acting feels so real, the cinematography is great, the soundtrack is nice, the tone is wonderful and it's overall really heartfelt. Although this film can get a little depressing at times it lightens us back up with its great humor. Overall Short Term 12 is one of my favorite movies of 2013 and now stands to be one of my favorites in recent years as well. I highly recommend people to check this movie out.
Gravity (2013)
typical
When I sat down to watch Gravity I didn't really have an idea of what it was about but I was sure it was going to be good considering everyone was talking about how amazing it was and starting off it was pretty good, the visuals were amazing as was the atmosphere and the soundtrack was beautifully put together but past some good music and famous actors lies nothing more than formulaic Hollywood by mixing a seemingly dumbfounded woman alongside a somewhat smarter man who remains calm well the woman just freaks out shows nothing more than misogyny and it really does beat me why people like this movie so much. They always complain and complain about how this and that movie is Hollywood garbage but liking movies like this is the reason. A woman on the verge of death with a sad past who manages to escape every near death situation within seconds of it happening and no way to talk to somebody isn't that new. Sure it was in Alien but that was over thirty years ago. Maybe I'm saying these things because I walked in with high expectations but it wouldn't exactly help if I didn't. I'm not someone who really wants to listen to Sandra Bullock breathe heavily whimpering "HE HA HI HA HE HA HI HA" for ninety minutes. I could go on and on about faults and nitpicking and things like how she's wearing a tank top and booty shorts in cold dark space. Not to mention the stupidest scene involving Sandra mimicking a dog. I'm going to leave you with a quote that Sandra uttered in this movie. "Woof, woof dog"