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Reviews
Employee of the Month (2006)
Found This Movie in a Litter Box
Saw this at a preview and wish I had turned down the free tickets. The jokes are terrible and in my opinion Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook have no business being in a movie. I think Dane Cook's comedy albums are okay but he is just awful as an "actor", and Jessica Simpson's lack of acting ability is already well known. Why is she still in movies? Oh right, she has a pretty face and huge bosom and is willing to wear teeny-tiny little outfits. Seriously though, if you're looking for anything that requires actual acting talent this isn't the movie for you. Andy Dick is pretty good in his small role but I still only cracked a couple smiles through the entire boring, pointless movie. Please Hollywood drop Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook off at the nearest dump, isn't their 15 minutes up yet?
Tunes of Glory (1960)
Alec Guinness
I called the title of my summary Alec Guinness because that is what this movie is all about and when you get right down to it that is really the only big reason why anyone should be sure to see this movie. Alec Guinness is amazing in this movie to say the least. I can't believe that I waited so long to watch this movie, and now that I have I am telling everyone else to watch it too! If you like great performances then don't miss this.
Alec Guinness was an actor of the first order and very under rated for his work in his craft. He is fantastic in this and it is a very compelling and touching movie simply because it all hangs on him and his character.
According to Jim (2001)
One of the Worst Sitcoms Ever Made. Possibly the Worst.
According to Jim might be the worst sitcom ever made.
There are no laughs. I guess if you have a brain cell count below four, you might find some of it to be funny, but then again you would probably also laugh at bathroom noises and rainbows.
According to Jim makes people stupider.
The only worse 'comedy' performer than Jim Belushi (aka "Guy Who Has a Job Because His Brother Was Funny and Tragically Died Too Young so We'll Take Another J. Belushi Who Kinda Sorta Looks Like Him and Wonder What Could Have Been") is the idiot who plays his friend. If Jim Belushi is an idiot, and he is, this guy must be a super idiot (I wanted to use the 'r' word to describe them, but then I realized that would be offensive to actual 'r' people).
How does garbage like this get on the air, and how does it get renewed for more than one season? It just goes to show that a large number of people in our society are getting dumber and dumber.
According to Jim must be stopped!
First Invasion: The War of 1812 (2004)
Ridiculous "Documentary"
This "documentary" is so ridiculous it's laughable.
I don't need to go over what other people obviously already did but I just have to say I agree with them 100% I literally thought at one point while watching this documentary early on (I tuned it after it already started) that I was watching some kind of a comedy sketch.
The U.S. was acting in self defense when it invaded another country? On top of that, they were outnumbered and out-muscled by a small British expeditionary force and Canadian volunteer farmers with no military experience? And then on top of THAT, they won the war? (It's true that after Britain wrapped up their major war in Europe they sent battle-hardened troops to North America to fight this war, but that was already well after war broke out with the U.S. invading Canada - not to defend themselves but to try to take it over.) How do you have your capitol burnt, some of your territory occupied, so many of your troops captured, your country blockaded and only one major victory - occurring AFTER the war was over - and consider yourself the winner? It makes no sense at all. I guess you have to be American to understand it.
Air Force One (1997)
Boooooring!
I remember seeing this with my parents and I was so bored watching it.
For one thing the basic idea is so ridiculous, that the president is going to single handedly take over a hijacked plane and kill all the hijackers is just stupid. That is right up there with Independence Day where the president flies the lead jet to fight off the aliens. Just so very, very stupid! Gary Oldman is awesome but this movie is just pretty much by the numbers bad guy stuff, he is really good but it's just a big budget Hollywood action movie so there isn't much to work with. I'm sure he got paid more than most other movies he did so you can't blame him.
Harrison Ford is as good as usual, not a great actor but good at what he does.
The characters are pretty believable it is just the basic story that is not. I like that in the end the bad guy comes off pretty sympathetic which is unlike most movies. More laughs and "pfff!"'s of disbelief than most movies though.
The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
Very good sci fi/action movie!
This movie is a perfect showcase for Vin Diesel.
Pitch Black was an unexpected surprise for me as a good movie and he was a great character in it, I was glad when they did a sequel featuring him. But for Chronicles of Riddick I was expecting more than when I went into Pitch Black and I was still pleasantly surprised.
The action sequences are great and the story is very interesting. Vin Diesel is great as Riddick.
Colm Feore is a great actor and he does a great job as the evil emperor in this film. The subplots with the mercenaries etc are all very good and don't seem tacked on like they are in most movies of this type.
7/10, very good way to spend an evening!
Keys to the VIP (2006)
Horrible in Every Possible Way
Keys to the V.I.P. sucks.
It is not funny at all, not ever.
The guys on the show are not funny and I or any girl I know wouldn't go out with any of them in a million years.
It's supposed to be a reality show but it's so fake. The contestants they have act stupider than they are because nobody in the world could ever be that stupid.
A reality show about picking up in a bar doesn't belong on the comedy network in the first place.
None of the judges are likable at all.
Inspector Gadget (1983)
Inspector Gadget!
This show was before my childhood but my brother used to love it, I think it was his favourite show of all time.
But it is on every morning very early on Canada's children's network so I have seen it a lot lately and I think it's a great show for kids. If you ask me, it is a good show after all these years but also educational for children, not just entertaining.
The theme song really sticks in your head but not in an annoying way (at least not yet for me).
The voices were all great. Whoever did Inspector Gadget must have been a known actor because it is a familiar voice and was perfect for the part. Dr. Claw's voice was awesome, I love how you never see him and only get to see his metal hand. Every episode he sends agents to get Inspector Gadget, who is a bumbling stumbling guy who always ends up in various accidents but somehow accidentally gets the bad guy in the end (always with the help of Penny and his dog Brain who seem to be the only ones who realize how bumbling he is). The show always ended up with Dr. Claw seeing he's defeated and shouting "next time, Gadget, next time!" For each episode these missions seem to almost always be in a different place, so that kids watching learn about other parts of the world.
I hope it stays on the network so I can see every episode and that it is on when I have kids someday (fingers crossed).
Bewitched (2005)
Not very good...
I saw this movie in theatres.
It was a bad movie but not the worst I have ever seen. I was not surprised that people walked out but was surprised by how many did, probably 20-25 in a theatre with about 40 people watching but that did include a whole group of about 10 kids who left together.
There were cute and funny parts but not very many and not very often. It was an interesting premise for a remake with so many levels to work with but it was just contrived and none of the jokes seemed to work. Kidman mailed it in and Ferrell was not good in his roll, far too wacky to be the straight man and not nearly wacky enough to carry the humour on his own.
The worst thing about the movie were the subplots to nowhere. The mother/aunt/father characters had little to do with the main plot and their stories were very boring, and in the end those subplots were pretty much just dropped altogether.
I would avoid seeing this unless you can catch it for free on TV and nothing else is on (including reruns of the TV series).
The China Syndrome (1979)
Very good movie despite some serious flaws...
The big plus for this movie is the performance by Jack Lemmon. He was incredible in his role and very believable as the reluctant hero. It wasn't a very thrilling movie but it was pretty intense in parts and kept our attention. He certainly deserved his Oscar nomination that year for this film. Wilfred Brimley, Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas were also good.
The big problem was the "China Syndrome" claim - that if the reactor error occurred and radioactive waste leaked out it could burn its way straight through the earth to China. A lot of people have made fun of this and if the movie makers meant it seriously then yes it should be made fun of. The spill wouldn't make it anywhere near the center of the earth or even the molten rock. Even if it did make it to the center of the Earth how would it come out in China? It would have to flow against gravity the rest of the way! Also China is not the opposite side of the world, the Indian Ocean is.
But I didn't take them saying this in the movie as being serious though I thought they just meant it half jokingly as in "it would be a huge catastrophe". If I thought they meant it literally I couldn't give it a high mark. But this movie doesn't hold up well and if it wasn't for Lemmon's performance it wouldn't be "very good" at all.
I give it 8/10.
RKO 281 (1999)
Very good movie...
Liev Schreiber gives a great performance as Orson Welles but I am always a fan of Liev Schreiber.
The story is great and based on the real story of Orson Welles directing/producing his masterpiece "Citizen Kane", innovating new ways to make the film to give it exactly the look and feel he wants. For example in one scene he keeps insisting on getting a lower angle for a camera shot until he eventually grabs an axe and chops through the floor to get the camera even lower - apparently that is a true story.
The film deals with his relationships at the time, etc, and all of the actors give very good performances, but again Liev Schreiber stands out with a great turn as Orson Welles.
POSSIBLE SPOILER: The film is not-so-subtly based on William Randolph Hearst, an eccentric and too-powerful newspaper magnate at the time, and Welles has to convince the board not to sell him the film (Hearst wants to buy it so he can destroy all the copies), which they agree to, apparently because they don't like Hearst and his power is starting to decline. Welles even meets Hearst and the two obviously dislike each other.
In the end the film is released despite Hearst's attempts to keep it out of theatres.
It's just a good film. I give it 8/10.
Hoosiers (1986)
A Great Sports Movie!
I'm not a big sports fan except for hockey but even though this is a basketball movie I just loved it.
Not a big Gene Hackman fan either but he was fantastic as the coach and Dennis Hopper was also very good as the alcoholic who gets another chance as the assistant coach (and father of one of the team's players). The plot is great.
Basically Hackman is a coach who was banned from college coaching for hitting one of his players, he's a very serious and angry coach who only cared about winning. He gets another chance at this small Indiana high school that only has six or seven players total on the team. The town though is huge on basketball and really wants to win.
They try to get rid of the coach because they don't like how he's coaching (in one game he only puts four players on the court after he doesn't like how one is playing and benches him). In the end though the players believe in him and want to keep him, then they end up making it all the way to the championship game against one of the state's biggest schools as huge underdogs.
You just end up pulling for the team and the players the whole time so even though it's pretty formulaic for a sports movie it does it very well, it's a great sports movie that's great for the whole family.
Stars on Trial (2005)
Awesome!
Stars on Trial is the best show ever. If you haven't seen it yet and get the chance you should. Ron Sparks was the perfect judge. He was so funny and the jury was perfect. Deborah, Dave, Fraser, Jemini, Trevor and Sabrina were great as a jury and the Stars on Trial was great the whole hour because of the great jokes. Deborah is so funny and I like how fraser was so sarcastic and it was so funny how they were all together and adding to each other's jokes. That made it better than Video on Trial where it is just one person at a time. They all had me almost crying from the laughing. I can't just say one thing they said that was funny because there were so many funny parts in the show. You are all right that the guy as the baliff was also great but I didn't see him before. But I hope he is back and I hope they do another one with the same jury and Ron Sparks as the judge. I think it would be nice to make it a bigger jury or trade sometimes so that Nikki Payne could be in because she is so funny. I would rather see her in it than Sabrina or Jemini but they were okay to it's just Nikki is so funny! I have it on tape and have watched it a gazillion times and it is still so funny.
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)
An above average film, but a bit over-rated
I think E.T. is a real good family movie especially for all the children to watch but after seeing it again I realize that it is a little dated now, and not quite as good as I remembered it being when I first watched it when I was young and saw it in theater and when it fist came out on videotape. I think kids like it obviously more than that adults would. The story has holes and is pretty simple but for kids it's real good. I did not like any of the restored and changed things in all the updates of the movie, especially changing the guns into the flashlights. What is the point of that? I was a kid when I saw it but the flashlights did no scare me at all. Kids aren't as fragile as I think these directors are thinking nowadays. Anyway I give E.T. a six out of ten rating because it is a good movie that is worth seeing with some unforgettable scene but only if you have kids watching and there are many better films out there that are not so well liked. E.T. is an above average movie, for kids.
From the Desk of Ron Sparks (2005)
effing funny
I have seen Ron Spark do stand up comedy a lot and love him so I like this show just for him alone. He is living in a bomb shelter and wearing a suit, in the episode I saw he wrote a letter to the C.N. tower and wrote up plans to jump off the tower dressed up like a super hero. Then he got the letter back saying he will be arrested and a police warrant. The intro at the start say the letters are real but I think that is part of the joke. If the other episodes are as funny keeping an eye out to see them. The typewriter is from like 1900. I only saw one episode so I don't know why or how he got there and there is nobody else in the show (not in that episode). Because it's not explained and there is not much going on and it is only a few minutes I give it 6 out of 10 stars instead of a perfect 10.