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rtpratt
Reviews
Showgirls (1995)
A horny college guy walks away.
The stupidity level of this film is something to behold. Cheesy dialog, forced emotions, and a storyline so moronic it makes you forget that there are naked girls on the screen. Some of the inside jokes require knowledge of dance or fashion; not something the target audience would notice much. I honestly don't know who the good or bad guys were. I cannot tell you why we are supposed to care for the heroine. From what I saw, it was trying to be a struggling coming-of-age movie, and was quickly becoming a high-priced candidate for Cinemax-Friday after Dark. I went to see this movie in theaters as a single, highly-interested-in-naked-girls college guy. I walked out less than midway through it. The T&A was not enough to hold my interest through the rest of the crap.
Juwanna Mann (2002)
I was paid to watch this bomb. It wasn't worth it.
This movie is a horror. Bad acting. Bad plot devices. Bad premise. Bad jokes. It is so rotten that it doesn't qualify for one of those "so bad it's funny" categories. Penis jokes galore. Boy in girl's locker room jokes, even stupider. The premise of man-in-"WUBA" is laughable in itself. Worse, after being thrown out of the NBA for antics that would shame Latrell Sprewell and Denis Rodman, his face/voice/ass-itude/skills are not recognized by any of the professional players on his team. Or his coach. Or his agent, for God's sake. This after a media circus on his actions in the first 3 minutes of the film. This thing is dumb above and beyond the call of duty. And when it tries to grow a soul with the inevitable lesson to be learned schtick, any audience in the world would recognize this as a tacked-on morality lesson to pretend to redeem this pile of dung picture. I was forced to watch it while selling plasma. I got $30 for 2 hours. IT WASN'T WORTH IT! RUN AWAY!