jan-hranac Reviews

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)

Just stay true...

[8/10 · 27 April 2024]

The formula is simple: If you've got a good source material, stay true to it and you'll do good. It ain't rocket science.

It's so refreshing to see someone from Hollywood to figure this out. The source material is Collins's best installment to the book series and the movie producers were smart enough not break what was already perfect. Sure they took liberties, both small and big, especially towards the end. However, by "liberties", I mean leaving some things out and simplifying others - that's perfectly acceptable.

On that note, the movie was both long and rushed at the same time - that can be considered a sign of quality. Sure, they could have split it into two movies and I wouldn't have minded (unlike in the cases of Harry Potter and Twilight) but I respect them for taking the page out Lord of the Rings 3 and keeping the movie in one piece and as long and as shortened as needed.

Violent Night (2022)

It's all about context

[10/10 · 28 March 2024]

Just finished watching, the credits are rolling down as I write.

Does this flick deserve 10/10? No! Absolutely not! However, we've got to consider this in larger scope (as leading comrades in my country used to say). What is the primary purpose of Hollywood? To entertain and to turn brains off! Was my brain turned off? Was I entertained? Yes and yes! As far as I'm concerned, this movie delivers everything that America is supposed to deliver! Do I despise America for its consumerism approach to one of the most important festivals of my culture? Yes! Do I despise America for inventing Santa Claus? Yes!

That being said, i really enjoyed this, I hope to see many more such movies coming out of Hollywood!

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Great (but nothing is perfect)

[9/10 · 2 March 2024]

Just returned from cinema and decided to write down my impressions while they are still hot, rather than wait and contemplate.

I was sorely tempted to give 10 - this is way better than anything that came out of Hollywood since... well, since Dune 2021. However, just because something is better than its context, it doesn't mean it's absolutely perfect.

Did part two bring a nerdy tear to my eye like part one? No. While part one delivered everything (minus some Tom Bombadils) that was in the book plus some scenes which weren't there but undoubtedly happened, part two makes some compromises and liberties. It's not as accurate as the TV miniseries but it's in the same league. (I'm not even going to mention the Lynch's movie which even Lynch himself didn't like.)

The second half of the book (and the second part of the miniseries) takes place over years. This movie takes place over months, which is ridiculous. That doesn't give Paul enough time to become a proper Fremen, it doesn't give his relationship with Chani to solidify, etc. I do not understand this compromise, especially when (in this particular case) they could have utilized the narrator more and skip over longer periods of time as needed.

The movie (unlike the book and the miniseries) never explains the source of the spice, which I consider to be a major omission.

On the other hand, while this movie cuts some content which was present in the miniseries, it also covers some book content which wasn't (or couldn't have been) in there. Hence, while there is a large overlap, both the movie and the miniseries deliver something the other does not.

The ending reaches a little bit beyond the book. While the book provided a solid ending, the known lore of the franchise tells us that it was merely a beginning. This is reflected in a rushed way typical for almost everything else in this movie.

All in all, very good work. I wonder where are they going to take it next. Book two would be a logical choice but maybe they'll cover Brian's work first (after al, he co-produces this).

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013)

Belated thief

[6/10 · 18 November 2023]

I didn't read the 2nd book, I decided to watch a movie instead. Yet despite that, I didn't find myself in unfamiliar waters. In my review for 1#, I criticized the absence of certain essential things. Well, those things found their way to the 2nd movie, and not just them.

The 2nd movie feels like a lazy student who tries to catch up on the night before an exam. Scenes (oracle), characters (Clarisse, Cronus), exposes (the mythology missing in 1st film), and things (nectar). Considering that the 2nd movie is slightly shorter than the 2nd one, I don't believe that there's much space left for the actual story of the titular book.

All in all, there were some facepalm moments in the movie, but what the heck, the books (or at least the one I've read) are just as wacky.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

Broken

[6/10 · 16 November 2023]

Disclaimer: I'm not a book fan.

A movie is not a book because a movie is much shorter, that's obvious. Hence, movie makers have to scale the story down (or invent a different one). Think about pixel art. You need to represent a big picture and simply scaling it down by an algorithm won't work because then you'll just end up with a non-de script blob. You need to do it manually, you need to deploy your inner pixel artist.

The makers of this movie failed at this task. They shortened and changed it in a way which completely fractured the whole concept. Book fans will be dissatisfied, others will be confused. By not showing Percy's journey and by not displaying him as a handicapped loser, he's turned into an annoying Mary Sue who's good at everything without having to work for it. By discarding the main villain, all the divinity is turned into a bunch of stupid Dallas characters.

The Legend of Tarzan (2016)

Tarzan doesn't drink alcohol

[9/10 · 4 November 2023]

The movie shows Tarzan drinking alcohol shortly after the beginning of the movie.

Tarzan. Does. Not. Drink. Alcohol.

Yes, they probably meant to communicate that he's civilized now. Pointless, it was shown that that he's civilized plenty before that point (when he was drinking tea for example).

It's also possible that they were trying to communicate that he was upset at the moment. Way worse. Tarzan does not drink to drown his sorrows.

And. He. Does. Not. Drink. At. All. For that matter.

This is one of the facts which are explicitly stated in the books. So whatever liberties a movie might take, this is one of the things where adaptations should be faithful.

The Man in the High Castle (2015–2019)

Be patient

[7/10 · 31 August 2023]

After watching about half of S1, I read a rant from a guy who (as it became clear to me later) didn't even finish S1. I didn't let it dissuade me and I don't regret finishing the series.

S1 is well done from a craftsmanship point of view but it's also tedious and downright boring for some people. It's also a solid foundation for the rest of the series which wouldn't work otherwise. The point is, do try to trudge through S1 all the way to its last episode. If you persevere, it should pique your interest. However, if you find yourself watching S2 and you find out that you are still not enjoying yourself than this show isn't for you.

S2 is just as well done as S1 but it's for more engaging - no more boredom.

S3 is still great fun but you can see that the quality is starting to slip and the plot starts going in circles.

Quality of S4 is quite inconsistent but if you make it that far, you'll be too hooked in to stop. Half of the cast didn't return after S3. The ending of the show is rather rushed but you'll find out that you no longer care about what happens next - what truly matters are resolutions of individual characters (at least those who were in the show since S1).

I absolutely loved Rufus Sewell's performance - he's the true star of the show and he did a superb job despite the script he was given at the end.

However, subjectively speaking, I liked Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa even more (when considered from character+actor point of view). The only objection isn't to him but to the soundtrack crew - they were playing Japanese spiritual vibes "every" time he spoke, even when it wasn't really appropriate. It was like playing an "epic quest done" chorus after picking a flower.

Tooth Fairy (I) (2010)

Fairies too stupid to exist

[5/10 · 23 July 2023]

Fantasy does not excuse bad writing.

The fairies in this movie are clearly inspired by Terry Pratchett's Hogfather (or rather its movie adaptation) and function pretty much in the same manner. However, while everything in Discworld makes complete sense and is internally consistent (all the while being certifiably crazy), Rock's Tooth Fairy fails miserably in this regard even though the filmmakers had much easier job than Terry Pratchett. The problem is in contradictory rules the fairies are subjected to (especially when they find themselves in Rock's situation). This isn't even a problem created by multiple places in the movie contradicting each other, the inconsistency can be found even inside a line delivered in one breath.

Small children don't know anything about the writing process or logic but they aren't stupid either. They spot these things, it bugs them, and it does exactly what this movie claims to combat - it breaks the fantasy for them.

RoboCop (2014)

Police Criminality

[8/10 · 14 July 2023]

It's featured as a minor thing in this but it should be mentioned.

This movie normalizes police criminality. And I'm not talking about obviously corrupt cops accepting bribes, I'm talking about police brutality and overstepping of jurisdiction.

A few days ago, I've read an article about cops receiving a right address from dispatch but messing up navigation and ending up kicking down wrong door and shooting an unarmed man who thought that his home was being invaded. Yes, sigh, a machine won't get the address wrong - not the point.

RoboCop's default M. O. in this remake is to engage in torture of suspects. He doesn't care about warrants or due process. So, how exactly is he different from ordinary underpaid, under-trained, and under-educated police officers? Yes. A human officer can get hurt and die. That seems like a bad thing, but a self-preservation instinct can get even high-and-mighty to exercise at least some measure of common sense. This remake completely flaunts this principle. And that, when compared to the original, is a bad thing.

That being said, I think the movie makers are trying to make a valiant effort in a battle which was lost when the original was made. So, kudos, I guess?

Come Out Fighting (2022)

Lego(tm)

[2/10 · 26 June 2023]

It's no secret anymore that Hollywood constructs movies in a modular way. They write and shoot a bunch of scenes and then they try to combine them in random ways and show the results to test audiences. The combinations which make the best score are pushed forward to later iterations of editing and, eventually, to a "final" cut for theatrical release.

The problem with this approach is that you get a disjointed set (not a sequence) of unrelated scenes rather than a wholesome story - in the best case scenario. Realistically, there will be cracks. For example, when a character references past events, it does not match what was actually shown (or, sometimes, what was later put into CGI - the actors don't know what they are talking about, those events never happened for them, they happened only inside GPUs of some server farm).

That's not how storytelling works!

Ganja & Hess (1973)

Two kinds of movies

[6/10 · 11 June 2023]

I'll start with the usual preamble: America makes two kinds of movies: Empty CGI spectacles and self-absorbed (wish-to-be-European) dramas which, in the end, are equally empty. This movie is the latter.

Don't get me wrong, I've got no actual negatives here. Screenplay, acting, camera, production - all of it is ok. It's just that there's no point to it all. Where's a plot? What's the point of it all? Is the movie entertaining in any shape or form? Does it have a heart? No. Maybe there's some "inner joke" to it all to some people, but not to me. All I saw was 2 hours of boredom. This is not how you emulate European cinematography!

However, it's still better than Disney Star Wars or MCU, that much is sure.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)

The best one so far!

[8/10 · 21 May 2023]

Definitely the best one of D&D live action movies.

The problem with the first one was to take itself too seriously. Its desire to be a grand epic failed miserably and made it look pathetic. Moreover, any attempts to make humorous scenes failed.

The sequels aimed lower and it worked. It was like watching LARP and it was really heartwarming.

This movie has it all. It's good enough to be taken seriously yet at the same time it has a lot of humor and a lot of "references" (more like entire settings) to the world of Faerûn and subtle references to the rules. Not to mention various funny references to other stuff :D

As for the plot, marvelous. After Force Awakens, I was convinced that Hollywood can't come up with a story-line that wouldn't be 100% dumb. Well, I'm happy to announce that I was mistaken! The plot is complex, and entertaining, and unpredictable, and logical in hindsight. Bravo!

All good things packed up in a neat "little" package (more like over two hours big package). Finally, a wet dream of a D&D fan come true!

Columbo: Butterfly in Shades of Grey (1994) Season 10, Episode 8

Don't publish your first book

[9/10 · 30 April 2023]

William Shatner - automatic like. Whatever he stars in is always worth watching. And the same goes for Columbo. And now to the episode itself.

One of the central points of this plot is a book written by one of the characters. And it is all about the book being wrongfully rejected. The thing is, if you are an aspiring writer, you should know that your first book will always suck. You can write a dozen short stories first but you should never try to publish your first book. Publish your second book instead. And the third one. Than return to your first book and either rewrite it or dump it. This is the golden rule of writing.

Sidenote: Some writers go as far as planning a whole series instead of just one book. I got to book two of my first series before I realized that the entire series was trash.

The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973 TV Movie)

Good for fans of the genre

[8/10 · 4 April 2023]

Are you one of those people who find something magical about stories which take place in a secluded space of a plane? Not necessarily spy movies about kidnapped planes carrying nukes. More like ordinary air traffic crisis, airplane thrillers involving a contagion, airplane mysteries, and, of course, airplane supernatural horrors.

If you are one of those people than this is a movie for you. It's one of those immortal classics of the genre which have all it takes to make a good airplane movie. Pacing, characters, suspense, and so on. There wasn't any character which I felt was superfluous. There wasn't any such scene either. Generally speaking, when you can't remove any part of a movie, you've got a perfect movie.

Crash Landing (1958)

Great cinematography

[10/10 · 1 April 2023]

Oh how the mighty have fallen. And by mighty I mean Hollywood.

America used to be able to produce movies which were OK. Just search "ww2 instructional video" on YouTube and you'll find tons of good quality cinematographic material.

This movie comes from such an era. An era, when movies used to be well tailored and well crafted. This is down to the roots kind of thing. There is something romantic and mysterious about a commercial flight plane. A bunch of people stuck in limited space, fighting for survival under the leadership of the crew. This movie didn't capture it, this movie created the whole genre.

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019)

Someone was watching European fairy-tales

[5/10 · 14 March 2023]

Never underestimate Hollywood's desire to make more money by producing a sequel which doesn't make any sense. But it's more than that in this case.

The first half is a contrived struggle to explain why is there a sequel to begin with. Acting is bad, which didn't surprise me in Aurora's case but I really expected more from A. J. Then again, maybe she didn't have much to work with and isn't really to blame.

The second half was really strange for me because it tried to make a half-hearted attempt to divert from American style fairy-tales and dive into European ones. If this was your typical European Christmas fairy-tale, some of the concepts in the plot wouldn't be that weird because such fairy-tales have their own logic. However, they are really inconsistent in a scope of an American (de-facto) fantasy movie.

The Vanished (2020)

Wait till the end.

[8/10 · 5 March 2023]

Spoiler alert: wait till the very end.

Most of the bad reviews are probably coming from people who didn't watch till the end. But if you do, you'll be rewarded by mind blowing plot-twist which you won't see coming (unless you have read this review).

Considering that this movie was released in 2020 when US movie production is basically dead and buried... well, kudos, just kudos.

Everybody involved did a really good job here. The guys who created the whole conception, the screenwriter, the director, the actors. Plus, all of it was done without CGI or expansive production. It can be done - it doesn't have to be a marvel movie created by a server farm. Or rather - it must not be.

Another Earth (2011)

Be patient

[8/10 · 11 February 2023]

Outside of USA, there's a very clear doctrine saying: Hollywood makes two kinds of movies: bad CGI spectacles and boring self absorbed dramas. Another Earth is leaning towards the later group. However, don't let the first twenty minutes scare you off. Yes, you'll be wanting to turn the movie off during the first hour. But you'll be won, eventually.

This movie does have heart, it does have soul. It is worth an hour and a half of your time. And if you don't have that much time, you can skip during the first hour. Just make sure not to skip during first ten minutes or so. You'll be rewarded with a moderately underrated drama.

Black Adam (2022)

Cultural appropriation

[7/10 · 10 December 2022]

It doesn't take Arabic writings everywhere in this movie to know that these people aren't ancient Egyptians - rudimentary knowledge of history suffices for that. In other words, Adam is not only OK with his people and their language getting wiped out relatively recently from his point of view, he even helps those who did the wiping. This completely nullifies all the primary plot points of this movie (not that the filmmakers have noticed).

Still, the movie was acceptably entertaining when considered in ten minutes intervals and I simply love Rock and Pierce Brosnan. So, from a purely consumerism point of view, this was well done. Now fork out a sequel, because I'm not re-watching this.

Elysium (I) (2013)

It's hard to symphatize with people who are better off

[3/10 · 8 December 2022]

This is a recurring problem with Hollywood movies. They present these characters who are supposed to be poverty stricken and really, really suffering but when they need to display them in a dwelling which isn't CGI and which needs to be properly fleshed out for the purposes of shooting the movie, they construct this brand new shiny set which, no matter how you look at it, looks like a really nice, freshly built house. Now, I'm working really hard and I live in an ordinary apartment which is affordable for me and suits my needs. However, it will never look as nice and shiny as those fake sets. So, in the end, how am supposed to feel sympathy for characters which, at least according to how their place looks, are better off than me?

Iron Sky (2012)

Good crafstmanship

[9/10 · 27 October 2022]

I watched this again some time after watching the sequel. I have to admit that I like it better now because I noticed all the little details I missed before. This movie is well done both as a standalone movie and as a part of a franchise. The sequel didn't have to retcon anything, it was all there in the first part already (e.g. The candy made by Holy Grail and Kortzfleisch's survival). I also appreciated all other details and various puns (such as the nod to the Hitler rant from Third Reich).

It's real shame that this movie ended up underappreciated, that the sequel wasn't so good, and that the series eventually failed. A third movie centered around Putin would be especially scrumptious given the recent developments!

Medieval (2022)

Czech history Hollywood style

[9/10 · 10 September 2022]

OK, that's not fair. Jákl is Czech and if it wasn't for him, this movie would be way worse (or wouldn't exist in the first place). Still, he made it with American audience in mind and it's an American movie, with all the advantages and drawbacks that brings. Remember Mel Gibson's Braveheart? Then you've got an idea. However, unlike Braveheart, Jan Zizka (Medieval) feels a little bit more respectful - after all, this is his own history (while Gibson has no relationship to Scottish history).

Could this movie have been better? Definitely. Americans have proven that they can make and appreciate historically accurate films (e.g. Gettysburg). It should be noted though that we know very little about Zizka's actions in this part of his life so it's basically an "origin story" which can't be disproved but we can with absolute confidence say that the depicted events are highly improbable.

A side note: I absolutely loved Karel Roden as Václav IV. His portrayal is exactly the same as I imagined this king when we learned about this time at school and he and Caine were the only ones I've recognized.

Top Gun: Maverick (2022)

Anti-parody of Hot Shots

[9/10 · 25 August 2022]

Am I the only one who has noticed that this is basically a serious version of Hot Shots (which, in turn, was inspired not only by Top Gun but also by a certain Israeli mission)? You can find similarities in the overall plot, the mission parameters, the details both big (e.g. The connection to the death of the father of a team member) and tiny (landing with a highly damaged plane).

Does it matter though? Not in the least - I love all three movies.

Morbius (2022)

Sony does better Marvel than Marvel

[9/10 · 8 June 2022]

Sony does better Marvel movies than Marvel/Disney.

I don't know what's going on between Disney and Sony. I don't follow latest behind-the-scenes rumors about backstage deals. However, is it so far fetched to think that Chapek is trying to use Sony to keep the Marvel universe alive and possibly help it survive the M-She-U disease? Who the hell knows?

Death on the Nile (2022)

A beer movie

[7/10 · 16 April 2022]

An Agatha Christie adaptation - that used to mean coffee or green tea, some biscuits, and a period of undivided attention to every detail. It doesn't mind that you've already read the story and know who the murderer is, it still pays of to pay attention.

Not anymore. Open a (few) beer(s), have a pizza/hamburger/hotdog - it's time to turn your brain off and relax!