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Reviews
Harry & Meghan (2022)
Conclusive
I say conclusive only for those still unsure what the motivation was behind this attack on the Royal Family, as that is what it is. It's not only attacking the Royal Family by innuendo and smear, it is attacking British colonial history.
A dead boring and single sided serial whinge of a.vulnerable less than fortunate looking second fiddle prince seduced by an attractive publicity seeking B grade TV star who figured out a way to make it all about her.
If you are interested in their romance then you may be somewhat enlightened as it carries a good deal of staged photographic money shots of the couples history together. If however you're seeking evidence of the alleged racism that drove the couple from the family then you will be sadly disappointed.
The most telling part is Harry comparing the right of passage all partners of the Royal Family have undergone with paparazzi and negative press, telling members of the family Meghan must be treated differently due to her ethnicity!
It seems if she was to be treated as every other partner it could only be considered racism.
It is apparent this couples only objective is to tear down the Royal Family, and everything they stand for, and slot themselves into some of that commercial publicity.
Pathetic!
El Chapo (2017)
cannot understand the rave reviews
This is without a doubt a good story, but by no means comparable to the other Narco series on Netflix. Whilst some performances were average, such as El Chapo played by Marco de la O they were let down by other actors one-dimensional robotic performances unassisted by some absolutely appalling english dubbing. The monotone dubbing of Conrado Sol (Humberto Busto) had all the excitement of a dead bug. Nobody could be that unresponsive!
Even in the typically Netflix over-abundance of gratuitous homosexual sex scenes Conrados inability to change the emotion of his voice leaves you falling asleep.
The story itself lacks fact and (according to the DEA accounts) and swaps timelines repeatedly. The numerous gunfights confuse the story to the point of ridiculousness. There are so many new characters popping in and out you easily lose track of who is attacking whom.
Its worth a watch but certainly doesnt live up to the rave reviews.
The Blacklist (2013)
Spader holds this together
This is the story of Elizabeth Keen. The worlds most gullible FBI agent who, through 8 episodes is forced to choose loyalty between 2 psychopathic international criminals. One is a man (James Spader) who has devoted his life to protecting her, The other is her mother, a KGB spy who abandoned her as a child, murdered many of her colleagues, friends and Grandfather, whilst she wasn't kidnapping and torturing others. After a very brief reunion Elizabeth chooses her mother.
The Series starts out interesting enough, but after the first two or three episodes descents into the monotony of repetitive plots and bizarre nonsensical twists.
I watched it because Spader starred and he didn't disappoint, The rest of them are pretty much like the script - C-
Its quickly becomes more Netflix garbage.
Designated Survivor (2016)
Season 3 kills it
If you want to witness the handling of every major crisis faced by respective POTUS over the past 80 years all crammed into a single POTUS term then this is the show for you. Kiefer Sutherland as President Tom Kirkman and his administration leap from one crisis to the next in this fast moving political drama.
Whilst I enjoyed seasons 1 & 2 in my binge session on Netflix over a week I was left wondering some of the casts ability to carry off the character. I found Natascha McElhone playing first lady Alex Kirkman annoying as she seems stuck with her silly girlish smile throughout the series, leaving some scenes as entirely inappropriate, particularly when a fatality is being discussed. And there are plenty of fatalities and shootings to leave you wondering whether the Whitehouse should just have a permanent ER room installed. If you're not discouraged by the number of the Presidents inner circle being shot, you may be surprised to learn the entire FBI field team, handling every conceivable crisis facing the presidency, from murders, assassinations, terrorism, kidnappings and hackings consisted of one single action woman, Hannah Wells played by Maggie Q.
But as I said, even with the fast moving inconceivable action, both seasons 1&2 were enjoyable due to good cast and directing. Season 3 however was a different matter and it seemed more an exercise in woke political clichés and virtue signalling. If you had any doubt Americas greatest domestic threat comes from white Republicans this will remove them, as it will remove any doubt on American racism, affirmative action, white privilege, homosexuality and trans genderism.
The good thing about bingeing through 3 seasons in a single week on Netflix is the fast-forward button,
The Meg (2018)
A bit silly
The most surprising part of the movie, apart from the plot holes and questionable acting was more the fact the Movie makers didnt seem to actually know where the Mariana Trench is located, described in one trailer as the "China Sea" (wherever that is?) The trench is actually in the Western Pacific Ocean.
After discovery of the Meg, billionaire Jack Morris announces he has notified Indonesia, China and Thailand - no mention of Japan, nor USA (who actually administer the Mariana Islands where it sits) and later stated China was sending two destroyers
I can understand Indonesia, but what is the relevance of China, or even further away, Thailand?
The story however climaxes with a scene setting on a beach in Sanya, China, (some 3,800 klm away) so I am unsure if this movie was perhaps made for the Chinese market but it would certainly explain the relevant exclusions. (or signal a growth of Chinas 9 dash line)
Not sastified with displaying their lack of knowlege in geography the film makers also elected to share that physics were also a weaker point.
In one scene we had a dead 40 ton megalodon hanging by a 4 tonne hydralic crane arm above the deck of 90 foot boat. Apart from this impossible lifting task the boat still appears to be stable and still sitting on its waterline, despite this incredible top heavy additional displacement.
All of this was after the movie went to great lengths to explain how it was possible for these prehistoric creatures to use thermal vents to escape the near freezing waters between their 13,000 metre deep aquarium and the surface.
Yes fantasy sci-fi calls for things that make little sense..... And this movie is full of those!
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
Loved this original approach to a classic tale
Watched this by chance on a plane -loved it. Even when my meal was about to be served i just waved them away. What a great story and such a great approach to a well worn tale. The contemporary slang, the out planned strategy. Just fantastic. I thought Jude law was fantastic. ... I do admit though they went to the trouble of Jude... and they had a massive amount of options for the lead but settled for cheaper options. Just don't think hunnan had the presence for the part considering the vast options for a bigger guy who could carry the part.... Great movie nevertheless and admit an hour before landing i had to watch the first bit again
Suicide Squad (2016)
Stupid
If you're creating a bunch of super hero's to confront supernatural powers then some Aussie throwing a boomerang, and a potty mouthed girl swinging a baseball bat hardly cuts it. This movie is not lacking budget of special effects. Its lacking a degree of thought. Shamefully stupid movie that could have been easily worthwhile with less characters
The Last Song (2010)
Don't waste your time
This was a marginal story line at best... but please why do directors and casting attempt to employ people (and i wont say actors) who simply cannot act? Mylie Cyrus has to be the worst, and most out of placed cast members in this awful flick... . Lets face it she is only there because her dad was famous as she has no acting ability whatsoever Not only that... her character is obviously that of a young attractive woman. Mylie fails in that as well Please Hollywood. Stop putting the children of the once famous in movies, They're there only because of their parents fame and they're ruining it !!
The Shallows (2016)
Very stupid
The concept is a great white shark prefers the taste of a human than a dead whale... OK once you get your head around that, and the fact the great white can completely knock a whale carcass out of the water - then you must contend with who in their right mind would paddle their board out to a half eaten whale carcass in the middle of a shark infested bay..... Sorry, but these B grade movies that rely on absolute stupidity are not a story at all. They are simply darwinism
Flower Shop Mysteries: Snipped in the Bud (2016)
Kidding me
Brooke Shields plays Beau Bridges daughter? Seriously she looks more age appropriate to play his wife. Im unsure why the new Hollywood theme seems to put these ageing cougars romantically with younger men, but its not working the lines are pretty weak, particularly Brook Shields reaction to finding a murder victim...laughable. The plot is interesting but really this is no more than a TV movie
Dunkirk (2017)
early reviews calls for Oscar clean sweep?
don't get me wrong, this is a good movie and well worth the visit to the cinema. Some of the action shots of the fighter pilots were among the most realistic I have ever seen in a WW2 flick - but seriously the early reviews were completely overstating the movies credibility. Oscar clean up? - laugh out loud. Im a detail person, so to be worthy of an Oscar Id have to say continuity of the basics must be right. If you look at the boat crossing, whilst the wind is blowing in the right direction for the journey -the sea condition and weather are lacking consistency in each scene. they go from very choppy disturbed seas to almost flat calm. The beach shots are more of the same. crikey in some shots the tide is in, others its not. I could go on and on with goofs and inconsistencies throughout the movie but wont - you expect these things in a many average films - but please... if this is an Oscar nomination then standards have dropped
Breakout (2013)
Tommy Baxter: I can track cougar! I can track bear! And I can track you! - but i cant hit a barn with a scoped rifle
Seriously this movie is rubbish. Tommy Baxter misses 8 shots at 80m with a 40x scoped rifle. He not only misses, but lucky for him gets close and hits the hull of the canoe about 1.5m away from a human target. He would have to be the worst shot in movie outdoor history LMAO At that range anyone half competent would be deciding between a head or body shot
Pleeease - stop the rubbish 😂
All Is Lost (2013)
a remake of Dumb and Dumber?
As an experienced international offshore yachtsman for 30 years I was really looking forward to this movie - and I was sadly disappointed.
The opening scenes we are presented with the prospect of a 40' shipping container yacht striking a 40' yacht to such a degree that it creates a half metre hole in the yacht...but does not wake the skipper!!. To believe this you would have to accept that Redfords character was in fact in a coma, or without a pulse! This was immediately surpassed by Redford, when he awoke not immediately running the bilge pumps when the water is only just lapping the floor boards - no he waits until its waist deep and the has to use a hand pump, (with a hand made handle) as the batteries are now submerged. You only have to wait a little longer to witness further stupidity - he abandons ship whilst its still salvageable, and then without taking all the provisions that one must have stowed for such a big passage - and then of course runs out of food in the life raft!
The final act of lighting a fire in the life raft and burning the entire craft had me thinking this was perhaps a remake of Dumb and Dumber.
Just the fact we are expected to accept that such an obviously inept solo yachtsman, devoid of any seamanship, navigation or common sense, sailing a completely ill-equipped yacht could make it half way around the world, presumably from the USA to Indonesia before he strikes trouble is in itself implausible.
This movies final stages had me hoping the Redford character would not survive, thus proving Darwins theory and providing some hope for the worlds gene pool.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
who was fighting who?
I've never watched a G.I Joe movie before so maybe I'm disadvantaged by not knowing the cast of characters? I have to say apart from Dwayne Johnson and his immediate entourage I was completely lost on whose side everyone with a face mask was on? There seemed a lot of ninjas in white or black - but who knows who they are fighting for. Snake eyes - he's a friend of Dwayne Johnson - or firefly who releases him?
A lot of action but very disjointed in many areas. The storyline was hard to follow and on occasions completely irrational. Some big name cast so it surprised me that they would be involved in such a nonsense storyline. If anything it taught me not to view a movie by its cast members Very confusing story for a 1st time G.I viewer