Ceredon1 Reviews

Madame Web (2024)

So bad

[1/10 · 25 May 2024]

This is honesty one of the worst movies I've ever watched. The acting, writing, pacing, plot and characters were all horribly nonsensical. I suppose this is one comic book character and storyline that is difficult to translate into a movie, but it's like they didn't even try to do it well.

I guess there's a chance they've introduced this character for the Beyonder storyline in upcoming Marvel movies, but they could have done so much better. If that is the case, no matter how well they do the Beyonder films, the audience is guaranteed to loudly groan when the Madame Web character appears.

Worse than Mobius and that's saying something.

Road House (2024)

What did I just watch?

[2/10 · 23 March 2024]

Nothing about this film is good.

The original film was a B movie, but it worked because it wasn't trying to be more than that. This one is trying to be an action movie and fails miserably. Nothing makes sense. That plot line is laughable. I honestly wonder if it was written by chatGPT or a 13 year old boy. The writing is horrible. The acting is horrible. The unnecessary CGI is horrible. WTF does a movie about a cage fight/bar fighter need CGI?

I think they meant for this to be a star making debut for Connor McGregor. It didn't work. He comes off as a clown on an SNL skit. He neither came off as funny or tough. His character was poorly written but the poor performance can't only be blamed on this joke of a script. He has no natural ability to act, his charisma doesn't carry through the camera and he was given a character that seems like it was written to make him personally look foolish.

So bad.

Guy Ritchie's the Covenant (I) (2023)

Different than Guy's other movies

[8/10 · 24 June 2023]

It's definitely more serious. Well written. The plot is predictable but that's not a bad thing here. I think everyone knows ahead of watching it or in the first 5 minutes what the overall plot will be and what the end result will be. No surprises.

My only real complaint is that too much of the dialog seemed weird. Ritchie dialog is always unusual but it works in his more offbeat flicks. In a more serious action/drama it distracts.

Also, it tries a little too hard to tug at emotions but never quite gets there.

All in all, it's a decent movie that is generally worth watching. The story is especially important given the fiasco that was the American hasty drawdown/retreat that betrayed loyal partners and allies due to a feckless, senile leader.

Jack Ryan (2018–2023)

Season 3 not as good as 1&2

[7/10 · 24 December 2022]

Not a bad series. Really enjoyed seasons 1 and 2. Season three was not as strong. Plot line was more predictable and sometimes nonsensical. The great dilemma of the season could have been resolved with a 2 minute phone call but instead they dragged it out unnecessarily to fill the season out.

Seasons 1 and 2 seemed to stay a little more true to the novels, albeit in the modern age. Season 3 picked a scenario that simply was not as believable.

Still, looking forward to season 4 to see if they can redeem themselves. Perhaps they'll pick more seasoned writers. I'll still give the series a 7/10, mostly because the first two seasons were pretty good.

The Titan (2018)

Goofy

[1/10 · 26 November 2022]

Held off for years watching this. Now I wish I'd waited a few more years. Horrible drivel from writers that don't seem to have ever watched or read sci-fi.

Starts off ok. Decent premise, dialog and plot. A little predictable and simplistic. The pacing was slow, but that's common with some very good sci-fi.

Then, the entire second half goes complete off the rails. It's like a new team of writers and director came in, threw out the script and just wrote random scenes. It was honestly such nonsense, I really expected it to be revealed as a really bad LCD trip for one of the characters. Nothing made any sense. There was no rhyme or reason to anything. No logic to why things happened or why any of the characters acted like they did. It was almost like each actor had a script from a different, horribly written movie and all decided to play those parts with random, nonsensical outcomes.

Ignoring all of the disjointed, dysfunctional, nonsensical writing, at the core the plot boils down to "wife is excited for husband's transformation. Transformation happens exactly as expected but wife gets upset that it is happening exactly as expected. Other random stuff happens. Good scientist is actually Evil scientist who is completely vindicated in the end."

Imagine if Michael Scott from The Office wrote a sci-fi film. This would be that.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: Alloyed (2022) Season 1, Episode 8

Best episode of the season...

[5/10 · 16 October 2022]

...but that's not really saying much, given the low bar set this season.

This 8 episode season should probably have been 3-4 episodes. The rest just seems like filler and poor writing. I really wish the writers had bothered to read the source material. It honestly appears that they might have read the back cover and then made up their own story to fill in the rest. There is no loyalty to the lore. They ignore the material Tolkien gifted to them and instead filled their pages with muck and drivel.

If you are expecting a Tolkien series, skip this. If you are expecting something on par with Jackson's films, skip this. If you are expecting low quality writing, a new and completely unfamiliar mythology and if you have hours to waste, this is the series for you.

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power (2022– )

Great FX, mediocre show, comically bad writing

[2/10 · 15 September 2022]

I really wanted to love this series. I accepted that without rights to the critical source material, they'd take liberties with the canon that I wouldn't be happy with. But, they've strayed so far from Tolkien's vision that it's almost unrecognizable as being based in his world.

The dialog is forced and uneven. The actors, especially the lead, seem unsure of what they are doing, the writing is juvenile and predictable and the plot is slow and meandering.

I really wish the writers, producers and director had taken the time to really read through more of Tolkien's work. They instead seem to watched movies and just used their own limited imaginations to update the story to fit their view of what Tolkien should have written.

I do wonder, would someone that's never read any Tolkien be a fan of the show. It seems to me, that would be the only way.

Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Least favourite Thor

[5/10 · 10 July 2022]

I really thought I'd like this one. The other Thor movies were all so effortlessly funny. But this one just isn't. Maybe it's because they were clearly trying so hard to make it funny and campy and to laugh at itself, but it just didn't measure up for me. One or two people in the theatre laughed out loud a couple times, so clearly the comedy style works for some.

Didn't hate it, so I'll still give it an even 5.

Office Space (1999)

Almost perfect

[9/10 · 10 July 2022]

I really have nothing bad to say. I won't give it a 10 because it's not Oscar calibre nor does it pretend to be. However, it is hilarious and is incredible in how much it invokes real memory and feelings of the era. Office Space is a nostalgic trip to tech companies of the late 90s and early 2000s. Anyone that worked in software development, or really any office at the time and was old enough to know they had "grownup" concerns and responsibilities but young enough to resent becoming a cog in the machine will see themselves in this movie.

The King's Man (2021)

WTF

[2/10 · 4 April 2022]

Incredibly dumb. On top of the horrible writing, lack of plot and lack of any character development, they decided to try to be woke.

Do yourself a favour and skip it.

Army of One (2020)

Amazon should be embarrassed

[1/10 · 10 February 2022]

How did this movie get green lit and how did Amazon agree to carry it? I can't remember seeing a movie that was a poorly written, acted and filmed. It had no plot and a ridiculous screenplay. The director seems to have instructed to bad guys to walk like they have something shoved deep in their backsides, which make them all move like awkward, stumbling scarecrows when they are supposed to look like big rough guy. Also, they really cheaper out on their sound guy. Some seems sound like they recorded it on a dictaphone...they clearly forgot a boom for some of the indoor scenes.

Every person involved in this dumpster fire should very seriously reconsider their career choices. If they want to have any self respect, they'll leave the business.

Titans (I) (2018–2023)

Downhill

[3/10 · 23 December 2021]

First season was pretty good, with lots of promise. Second season went downhill but still watchable. The 3rd season seems like it was written by middle school children that wrote their idea of what a comic series would be like, if they were all experimenting with drugs and alcohol at the same time.

Heat (1995)

Epic

[9/10 · 24 October 2021]

Still one of my all time favourites. The writing, dialog, cinematography, pace, plot, acting and score were all brilliant.

Watching again after a couple decades, the hubris and ego that lead to tragedy, that were so subtle to me in my youth, are so clearly and carefully displayed.

Outside the Wire (2021)

Not horrible, but not very good either

[4/10 · 13 July 2021]

"USA bad, terrorism isn't always bad". Decent action sequences, sub-par writing, shallow, transparent plot. Woke. In the 90s, we would have called this "straight to DVD" quality.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Crappy, even for a DC movie.

[2/10 · 26 December 2020]

Dumpster fire. Train wreck. The worst in a generation. Emotionally depressing. Unexpectedly horrible. Am I describing 2020 or WW84? Honestly, both.

DC movies have a long history of being pretty bad. Recently, they seem to be getting better but WW84 is a huge step backwards.

Corny, poorly written, horrible direction, nonsensical storyline, the dumbest plot devices I've seen in a long, long time, poor casting choices. If there is any chance of a 3rd film, they need to fire the entire crew. Writers, director and anyone else involved in this travesty needs to walk away from film making.

The Walking Dead: The Tower (2020) Season 10, Episode 15

Some bright spots but lots and lots of filler.

[5/10 · 6 April 2020]

The writers are still stuck and unable to break out of relying on filler. Most of the episodes this season could have been covered in 10-15 minutes and the rest has been filler. This episode was slightly less filler.

Someday I hope they assemble a team of writers and a director that is able to string together a whole season of episodes that aren't so much filler.

The Walking Dead: What We Become (2020) Season 10, Episode 13

All filler. Watch first and last 5 minutes, skip the rest

[5/10 · 26 March 2020]

Almost 100% filler. Adds nothing to moving the story arc forward, other than a goodbye. If you watch the first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes you will be completely caught up and save yourself aggravation and time.

The Godfather Part III (1990)

A travesty or a parody

[4/10 · 8 February 2020]

I watched this as a kind and remember thinking it was so bad. Recently a rewatched parts 1 and 2 and was as impressed as before. I decided to give part 3 a chance again. My memories or how bad it was paled time how bad it actually is.

The writing, the storyline, the acting, all horrid. I forgot how bad the daughter character was. It was like she was reading all of her lines. She was one of the worst actors I've ever seen.

This movie could easily have been a parody of parts 1 and 2. If someone told be that Coppola made it to thumb his nose at his previous success and that it was intentionally horrible, I would completely believe that.

Fear the Walking Dead: End of the Line (2019) Season 5, Episode 16

Horrible season

[5/10 · 13 October 2019]

The season has been the worst of the series. Amateurish writing, predictable plots, overly convenient twists, shallow characters, just bad in every way.

Having said that, the final episode was probably the best of the season.

Fear the Walking Dead: Today and Tomorrow (2019) Season 5, Episode 14

I'm rooting for Ginny

[3/10 · 10 October 2019]

The dharma and Greg crew continues to make dumb decisions. For an unexplained reason, they've decided the Settlers are their enemies. They act tough but when push comes to shove they, they surrender, every single time.

The Settles seem to be what the main group should be, is they didn't decide to be SJW's instead.

More tree painting...because that serves a purpose. It's turned into a damn artists commune.

This group proves, every episode, they'd be the first ones dead in the zombie apocalypse.

Fear the Walking Dead: Leave What You Don't (2019) Season 5, Episode 13

Seems they've decided to be a parody

[1/10 · 9 October 2019]

I have no other explanation for lines like "what's the point of having gas if we can't use it to help people?" Or scenes where a main character has decided to peruse the arts in the middle of the apocalypse...very Nero-esque "Too much phoenix?"

The writers are making fools of their audience, seeing just how bad they can "write" and still have people watch. Pretty bad apparently.

Fear the Walking Dead: You're Still Here (2019) Season 5, Episode 11

Worst episode of the worst season of a pathetic series

[1/10 · 9 October 2019]

Recap: a group of incredibly stupid people fill out an incredibly stupid plot making incredibly stupid decisions.

Jessica Jones: A.K.A. Everything (2019) Season 3, Episode 13

Still trying to figure out Hellcats super powers

[3/10 · 26 June 2019]

She can see better than most in the dark. If she practices and trains like any athlete then she can be a modestly good fighter, as long as her opponents have no training in fighting and she catches them by surprise.

Seems like her super powers are to be average to slightly above average.

Black Mirror (2011– )

Had to drop my series rating

[7/10 · 20 June 2019]

Originally had rated it 9 up through season 4. Season 5 was such a stinker I'm dropping the series to 7.

Honestly, did they fire all the writers and hire a bunch of kids? Season 5 was low quantity with only 3 episodes managed but more importantly very low quality.

Black Mirror: Smithereens (2019) Season 5, Episode 2

Best episode of the worst season...I guess

[3/10 · 20 June 2019]

Can't say much more than that.

It almost seems like a knockoff. That is, if AMC or Amazon decided they were going to tried to copy Black Mirror and hired a bunch of recent grad, B grade writers and let them watch only a couple previous episodes and then set the loose to write a knockoff series, this season seems like what you'd get.

Shallow, superficial, contrived, convoluted, simplistic. Hot air.