Change Your Image
jhester9614
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Station Eleven (2021)
Is it bad or is it not your genre?
It's a slow burn, watching the before, during, and after the world ends. Fun fact: yes, art would survive the fall of civilization just like survived the birth of civilization. And yeah, drama is slow. Shakespeare is slow.
Is it woke to have... just women? Religion? Literature?
Is boring because it's dialogue heavy? If you don't like listening, sure.
Honestly, it's beautiful and haunting and messed up. That's what happens when things end suddenly.
Multiple storylines, timelines, and narrators. Is it boring or complicated? Is it on the nose? Sure. Just don't watch it. Easy. No need to insult people.
Bo Burnham: Inside (2021)
Processing...
As someone who had to work and go out and exist during the pandemic but was isolated from friends and family due to the lockdown, this was how I felt.
The vast and wavering juxtaposition of laughing at comedy, lying on the floor in silence, and crying under my blankets because my brain didn't understand what was happening and my emotions were just all over the place.
This was something I probably should've watched when I was at a better place mentally... That would be my only warning to viewers, it's very raw and emotional and the themes are something that might make someone feel worse...
In the Flesh (2013)
Heartbreaking and Cut too short
This is probably the best show I've ever seen - dramatic and passionate and soul crushingly bittersweet...
It's disappointing it was cut too short, this would have been a perfect series of 3 or 4 seasons, to finish the story...
Mignonnes (2020)
I was sexualized at 12. It's not okay and this movie discusses it and shows it.
I honestly watched the movie to see if it was awful and exploitative. It was creepy, sure, but the audiences and adults in the movies found it creepy, Amy found it to be not freeing too. It wasn't like Lolita where the adult man justified it in his head, the adults around the Cuties were like "ew, no" while the CAMERA justified. I think that's a good lesson. The camera justified it, not the audience. We, and the people on screen who were aware of it, found it distressing and bad. The CAMERA (the male gaze, the justification for sexualizing children and women, the fear of not being seen as wanted, the hope that this makes them happy, etc etc) justified it.
She either gets to make her own, harmful choices or be led down a path that she's seen as harmful to her mother. We only drew the line because we realized we, the adults, shouldn't be watching this young girl explore her body, but that's exactly how she got to that point of extreme sexualization, we (society) didn't give her a choice. She was either submissive and unhappy or sexualized and unhappy, that's the binary we show girls. And it's bad, and awful, and yet...
Dance moms and child sexualization lead to beauty pageants to get money and validation, school dance crews and cheerleaders lead to the abuse in the professional world, gymnastics encourages young girls to flaunt their bodies yet doesn't prepare them for the subsequent abuse cases, rape culture on college campuses tells girls to not be too sexy but too prude but also doesn't protect them, harassment in every industry is put onto how hot the victim was, and they all still ENCOURAGE that sexualization of women while also BLAMING the women when they get abused... Amy's mom was ALSO blamed despite being modest, and that's kinda the point. You don't win no matter how far in either direction you go...
The movie was uncomfortable. But it showed an actual path some girls take and ignoring that doesn't help. Villainizing the girls doesn't help. The promotion materials were wrong and didn't convey the same tone as the movie and that's the main issue. People didn't even watch it and that's the problem.
Underwater (2020)
A solid horror thriller with no frills
These characters are fodder and expendable, much like how the Tian company in the movie treats them.
There's no grand mystery, no detective work, just under two hours of terror and impending doom.
It's pretty to look at, the creatures interesting, and the ending final. No need for the frills and bells and whistles, just intent and goal. Run, go, hide, hopefully escape.
No one cares if you don't like Kristen Stewart or think she's not hot, you're just a misogynist. She did and gave as much as anyone, more than T J Miller, at least.
The Haunting of Bly Manor (2020)
Unsettling and Violent
This was a different level of scary and wrong. Every fear was human. Every scare beautifully tragic. I didn't sob as hard but every tear was own. This is a gothic horror, a tragedy, an echo...
I loved it, outside the truly uncomfortable parts with Peter, but wow. So good.
Black Mirror (2011)
Phone bad, book good
I get it. I don't quite get the hype but I get the point.
If you liked the lesser known episodes of Twilight Zone or those violent PSAs about drunk driving or drug use, you probably already watched this because everyone has...
The Old Guard (2020)
Not perfect but a start
I'm giving it a 10 to balance out the homophobes who give it a one because they can't stand kissing between males.
I'd say it was a 7 to 8 not adjusting for homophobia, I like the style and pacing of everything and the personalities of everyone besides the Marine.
The story was fun, because not everything has to be a fight for the world (which is addressed in the beginning, it's literally the reason for everything) and just like a Bourne esque or Hancock type "one goal" type movie where we learn what the characters learn.
It'd be better as a miniseries rather than a movie, for better pacing but the story as a whole doesn't really need it, not everything needs it.
You're Next (2011)
A solid throwback slasher
I'm not a fan of slasher movies without a purpose. Not necessarily a strong motive, or even a rational one, but with a purpose. I want a story. This feel more like the first Scream than any of the sequels. Funny and witty and dry, but not in an alienating way, this is a great little horror thriller.
With a wide variety of characters, including both classic screaming and fainting damsels (as played by classic horror alumnus) and strong willed final girl and everything in between, and arrogant jerks and shy black sheep and everything in between, it's a fun ride where the characters are the main focus.
Is it ground breaking? It doesn't have to be.
Clueless (1995)
A great feminist movie wrapped in a high school slice of life
I love this movie, I love the characters, I love the dialogue, I love the themes.
One of my all time favorite feminist movies: where girls are allowed to grow and change based on their wants and desires and aren't reliant on men's approval. They might enjoy it, but they don't need it, which is what Cher learns before getting with Paul Rudd.
A fun movie.
The Darkness (2016)
If you've seen one, you've seen them all
It's like Possession but instead of a dybbuk box, it's magic Native American stones and instead of a demon from Jewish demonology, it's a series of animal and elemental spirits connected to an ancient Pueblo tribe.
It's a bit patronizing, like all horror movies that take aspects from a "foreign" source to be spooky and alien. But also, Kevin Bacon plays a super patronizing guy in self denial, so it could be from that.
It's shot well, but the score is super "oooooohhhhh scary and ominous" and that's annoying throughout. There's some genuinely scary moments, moments where the director proves he understands suspense but then other times, it's just blah.
It's truly a hit or miss movie. If it was your first horror movie, it'd be nice.
Chocolate (2008)
Exactly What You Want in Action Movie
The fights are all amazingly choreographed around scenes and set pieces, it feels more like a video game in that the plot happening around the movie is definitely skipable but the fights are so amazingly well done and don't feel cheap.
Is it a great movie? Yeah, it's fun, it's entertaining, I've rewatched it 2 dozen times since 2010. Is it a deep movie? Nope, shallow as hell, but the fights! So good.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
Apparently a fun movie if you like the director
I like indie monster movies, I like a dry humor, I like visual gags and parodies, I like zombies, and I like horror comedies. I liked most of the actors going into the movie (besides my irrational hatred of Adam Driver) so it looked like a quirky little comedy.
But this wasn't very indie, the humor wasn't so much dry but more like flaccid, the visuals were fine with some gags and interesting topics, the zombies reduced to meta commentary a la "Warm Bodies", and the boring quirkiness made me wanna throw up outside a diner.
But, apparently, the lack of comedy, acting, plot, and interest was on purpose. Like setting your house on fire and claiming it was for the insurance money but really, you just wanted to go to jail to avoid going to your niece's birthday party: a grand and in your face presentation for nothing of importance.
It's was OVERLY in your face about the meta fourth wall "ha ha look at how quirky I am, subverting the subversion of the genre". It was SCREAMING about how dull and slow and quiet everything is, it's neon lights on what could have been funny and entertaining and watchable.
I gave it a 3, because Tilda Swinton is a joy to watch in everything, and she brought the only human touch to the movie. Which might have been the point? Who knows with this director.
Hagane no renkinjutsushi (2017)
If it wasn't based on anything, it'd be a 6 at best.
It was okay, pretty subpar CGI and the acting was... fine? It was fine. Nothing really new but not terrible in terms of objective acting.
Based on the source material? It shouldn't have a sequel because it's missing so much substance. Can't really have a racial geopolitical tale of multi-ethnic groups fighting the good fight against a supernatural evil when it's a homogeneous group without that background.
It just felt so flat, so uninspired. This could have been a grand multinational movie but it kinda boiled everything down to one note characters and bland locations.
If I wasn't invested, I'd give it a 5 or 6, it's on par with the Live Action Bleach but way below the live action Japanese Death Note.
Deadcon (2019)
Not that bad
This wasn't awful, this was actually pretty fun of a watch. The main drags were the CGI, but the acting was pretty realistic for the rapid YouTube creator culture, the atmosphere was fun and the synthy but generic music felt at place for the setting.
Literally, my only complaint was the gross and rushed CGI, everything else is pretty standard haunting business and nothing was too distracting.
Was it the scariest movie? No, but it creepy and I like that. Not every movie needs to redefine the genre.
In the Shadow of the Moon (2019)
I know why people didn't like it-
Either they don't like complicated time travel or they don't like being reminded racists and racism that has and still exists for a majority of Americans.
The first one, I get, time travel movies fall apart when you think about them, it's rough and not logical. This movie is okay but any amount of "what if" thinking tears it to pieces. The ending makes no sense and just fucking leaving a napkin with "I'm your granddaughter from the future, you're right, I'm sorry, just reconnect with your daughter" would have solved, like, all of it.
The second one, I don't really get? Like, Nazis exist, that's a fact and there's over 200 militias with white supremacist manifestos in America today. But that's pretty much it, for race relations. White cop kills a black woman? That's reality. But we know that he wasn't racist and that's the entire movie plot.
What we KNOW and what we are TOLD aren't always in line. The truth and the reality and the path we're on are all a collection of choices and experiences that cloud who we are... That's the entire point of the film.
It wasn't perfect, but it was fun and sad and interesting. I like these movies, I just wish people who hate discussing racism or even mentioning that people are different would stop rating bombing movies and shows discussing them.
Your anger about politics isn't a review, your 1/10 review because "racism doesn't exist!!!!" isn't a review. Grow up.
Anyway, if you like a weird timelines, it's a solid movie. A fun exploration of time travel from the outside, like 12 Monkeys with less convoluted time shenanigans.
Party of Five (2020)
Because it's not bad, you're just bigoted
Is this a perfect show?
No, but it's discussing a real situation for millions of people. Real children left in America, alone, because of a flawed and broken system.
This show, while more pretty than reality, has potential to explore an actual problem, beyond what most people here like...
I've never review bombed a show because the OPINION being presented went against my political views, I just don't watch the show. So I'm giving them a ten, so hopefully more people tune in and watch a humanizing look onto what our president is doing and demonizing...
Reprisal (2019)
Complex and Bittersweet with a soft voice
I can admit this isn't my genre I normally go to but there was something compelling about this story. I can also admit I fast forwarded 2 of the storylines, because they were slow and we got refreshers along the way.
The non linear storyline allows glimpses into the background and truth where we have only known lies. And that's something I love, I love seeing instead of being told.
Is it original? No, I think it's the same plot of the Thieves Guild storyline in Skyrim. But it's fun and unsettling and weird and the stylistic choices are fun and unsettling and weird.
The characters are pretty 1 dimensional because there's a lot, but they become more fleshed out as time goes on. Can't say they really grow, but they get explained.
It's violent, almost unreal, and that makes the points of both Doris and Lyla are making more nuanced. The foreshadowing is nice.
I gave it a 9 because I loved it, even in it's imperfections, it's raw and addictive, you want to see the storylines come together. The ending was a bit "here's a setup for season 2" instead of being completed and that's why it's not a 10.
Christian Mingle (2014)
God cares about your dating life, not a village in Mexico?
I only watch this because of the memes, and oh boy. I've never seen a greater disconnect from reality, God literally helps Gretchen Wiener and some dude who can't even handle the blandest sushi get together through the power of bible study and teaching children in other countries to assimilate to American Christianity...
Also, it's blatant lies about how dating works, why stay with a guy who'd break up with you IN ANOTHER COUNTRY and then come back later after getting bored with another girl and finds you in Mexico talking to kids who's lives have been forever changed after a disaster and he decides "yee, you christian enough now."
Hallmark movies aren't great, but this was TERRIBLE. She also hates bald people and thinks life without hair is God's plan but also chases after a guy in a relationship because he's the first person she met on a dating website...
American Assassin (2017)
A solid spy thriller, in terms of action
I personally love this movie, very raw and violent and while not perfect, it's a fun watch.
The care given to the fight choreography is why I really like, not as flashy as say Kingsman but not as cut to death as other movies. It's rough. It's angry. If it had less cuts, it'd be like a Daredevil fight scene, like a scripted boxing match. The stylistic choices, from the blood and gore lingering throughout the movie to the score being a bit understated, it didn't feel flashy.
The actual plot is pretty blah, feels like a season worth of twists and turns, it actually reminds me of a Tom Clancy thriller, not in details, but in pacing. Like I was reading a shorthand of a full book. I've never read the series, I'm not a fan of the musings of the aggro white male, but the movies are always so violent and stylized so I watch them.
This feels more like a look into how James Bond actually is: a violent man beating and killing people to solve his problems. Some people didn't like that, I certainly felt like he was unhinged throughout the movie, but that's the point. That's what this world wants in a political assassin: someone who we can deny we have ties to because they're so clearly deranged.
I'm giving it an 8/10. Because it's fun, the actors liked it, Keaton was great, O'Brien was amazing and I love his range so far, I wish him the best from his continued recovery from his accident to his future projects. I doubt we'll a get sequel, as the American Spy Thriller isn't ready for new blood yet, but I liked this as a start.
Time Trap (2017)
It was fun
It was a fun movie, not really historically or scientifically accurate, but it was fun in that old school sci fi way, where clearly someone just went "like, what if... you went into a cave... and like came out in the future?" and made a movie about it.
The characters were dumb, the acting subpar, the graphics passable, but it was a fun movie overall. Felt like it would have been a fun mini series on Netflix, but that would have bloated the experience.
Head Count (2018)
About 30 minutes in, I got it
And wow, you know, actually suspenseful. For an indie film, there's only two options: garbage and Gore or well thought-out cinematography. This is the latter. The filming as it went on almost... Shifted? Those long slow takes, the zoom ins, the actually counting who was where and how many people were in a scene and watching the background and the wide shots...
It's not perfect, but it's scary and gorgeous. Watch with subtitles though, because it matters.
The ending was fine, I kinda wanted... More, you know. A twist or something, but it wasn't BAD. One of the few movies I spent watching not on phone and it was fun.
It Chapter Two (2019)
Faithful without being boring
I loved this sequel, it was real. The effects, the amazing acting of Hader, the development of Mike's character and the amazing adaptation of the themes and topics from the book carry over so well.
My one qualm was the music, it could've been the theater but it was a bit loud towards the end.
It wasn't the perfect movie, but an amazing revamped experience for a story that's been told before.
Family Guy: You Can't Handle the Booth (2019)
One of the best of the latest seasons
This episode is hilarious and pokes fun at a lot of recent tropes for family Guy episodes. The entire premise breaks the 4th wall while breaking a fictional 4th wall (that's like... 16 walls) and does it with both visual gags but also plays up the music gags of some of my favorite episodes of the past. Simply hilarious
Feral (2017)
A solid b horror movie
Was it the best movie or did it redefine the genre? No, not at all. But the cinematography and lighting was amazing, some of those shots reminded me of classic 70s or 80s horror movies.
I hated every character, they were all very trope-y and one dimensional, but for a b movie, it wasn't that shocking to have that. To have a lead female in a gay relationship, but not have her be JUST a lesbian, was fun. The whole "she's not really gay" commentary felt forced, but some dudes really think that way and definitely deserve being zombie food.
In terms of plot, I don't have any clue about how the Zombies worked or anything, but I didn't really care. The kills and sfx were okay, better than some CGI reliant b horror movies, especially because it was practical effects, which are always better for b movies.
It wasn't bad, and definitely could be improved to be a bit more suspenseful without being drawn out, but for a quick watch, it's not bad.