This was originally known as "Alien 2", but the only thing it has in common with the original "Alien" is...an alien. Maybe they should have called it "Alien Too". In any case, they were sued to change the name, and this is grade-z crap under any title. A couple of astronauts are missing from a shuttle after its re-entry to earth, and mysterious blue "rocks" appear at the same time. Twenty-some pointless minutes later and a research crew is in an underground cave, with one of the blue rocks in tow. The dubs here are awful, especially the female protagonist, whose breathless delivery verges on vomit-inducing (which is more than can be said for the gore effects). I must admit, I did not watch the entire movie, as five minutes of it were spent making a sandwich while the movie wandered on aimlessly in the background. The best part is when a guy's head flies off while he's hanging upside down, and the head hits the earth with a resounding thud. That got a few chuckles out of me. The dialog is fittingly moronic. "How could those astronauts disappear?" asks one woman, "I wish I knew" responds her dim-witted compatriot, even though this is AFTER the aliens have already attacked them. Hmmm, maybe their disappearance has something to do with these dang aliens. Add in a cringe-worthy ending, complete with a "...you might be next!" warning and you have a competitor for worst movie of all time, in my humble opinion. This probably ended up as a MST3K episode (I wouldn't know, I hate that stupid show) but if it didn't, it is surely ripe for that treatment. Luckily this movie is long out of print, but if you do stumble upon it, heed my warning: AVOID AT ALL COSTS!!!
Reviews
2 Reviews
Happy Birthday to Me
(1981)
Forgettable
12 November 2004
The two main setbacks of this movie are: a 110 minute running time that could have been 30 minutes shorter, and a complete lack of gore. That infamous shish ka bob scene everyone always talks about- bah, nothing special. I'll admit that the dialogue is above average for a cheapo slasher flick, but given the length of the movie, the characters are amazingly shallow. I couldn't remember half of the cast five minutes after the movie ended. And the lead actress who plays Virginia...well, kinda annoying. Actually very annoying, especially when she starts freaking out and shrieking at a pitch that would crack glass. Derivative, standard fare, if the director had taken the time and the budget to create death scenes on par with The Prowler (which came out the same year), it might have produced a bigger payoff. Not the worst slasher (see: The Mutilator) but skip it, unless you have 110 minutes to waste.
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