song_of_rainbow Reviews

Amityville Hex (2021)

There should be a zero rating.

[1/10 · 22 April 2024]

I like horror movies, been watching them for the last 68 years or so. Some great, some okay, others lousy with some redeeming value, at some point. Today this mess is the second I try to review. Twice today, I have wished for a rating of zero. Unfortunately IMDb doesn't have that as a non-rating option due to total garbage. I thought the other was horrible (in a very bad way), this thing is even worse. Maybe it has to do with me being older than the people who made this two pieces of c (oh wait, I don't think I am allowed to say that) grandparent's. Why do people waste money buying movie camaras to do this to the viewers.

Arctic Armageddon (2023)

Too bad there is no zero choice

[1/10 · 21 April 2024]

This movie falls under my top lousiest category from the very start. First of all this has to hold the record for worse acting in a movie. I felt like I was watching a bunch of robots playing humans. No doubt the worst politically correct movie I've had wasted 24 minutes on. (And the most famous drag queen in history was one of my friends in high school. Our Spanish teacher got him his first gig, while we were still in high school in 1964. None of us found that strange, in the 1960's, so that is not the problem.) Would I recommed this movie to my worse enemy, you betcha! Oh, I hope some of the actors survived this armageddon.

Shortcut (II) (2020)

Can a movie with monster be boring?

[2/10 · 26 March 2024]

This could have been an interesting movie but somehow it managed to be so convoluted to the point of silly. Made little sense. It had dead animals, psycho killer, secret underground bunker??, dead people (nope not zombies), creapy monsters, back story, boastful overweight kid, mean kid cover with blood or was it some strawberry syrup, brave girl, (what the heck) chewed girl "don't worry about me"??, hero boy, guilty coward trying to find sister about fifty years later from where he left her entering cave. Lets just say it was so lets add everything except the kitchen sink that I put it on hold and took an hour nap. I forgot stupid driver that ended up dead by doing stupid thing. Again LOT less would have made interesting movie.

The Scarehouse (2014)

I would give this piece of garbage a zero if that was an option,

[1/10 · 20 March 2024]

It would only be a good thing if the person watching it was a extre sadomasochist. I actually kept skipping through it, to see if it had some sort of redeming value. Believe me there was not. Of course there is the one on the top of the insanity pyramid and her follower, who sort of knew better. Can't imagine why Tubi would play this thing. This movie is more in keeping with one of those late night movie theaters that only the super sick go to. Almost as bad as one that I actually reported to the authorities, because it was obiously real. Let say it played after midnight in a three letter channel that starts with H and ends with O.

Desecrated (2015)

I 100% agree with another reviewer.

[1/10 · 9 February 2024]

If I could give this movie a 0, I would. I've been watching horror movies since most of the people alive now, were yet to be born. The premise of this movie, in theory was great. The begining seem fine, another slasher movie. I'm okay with them. But the first time the princess opens up her mouth I know I will hate her. Then come her gang of imbeciles, who think they are God's gift to the universe. Immediately, I hate them all. In a normal horror movie there is at least one character you wish makes it out. NOT here. Unless it's the bad guy, which in this case, I will most likely be rooting for, for slaying them all. (No idea if that's the case, I couldn't even make it to the end. If it's the other guy that's not part of the group, good for him.)

Prehistoric Predators (2023)

Have to be honest, I did not make it past 16:16 minutes

[1/10 · 18 January 2024]

Close to the very starts a sizeable woman takes her top off and plops to the shower, followed by some clouds. What? We find out there is a crash and the tv anouncer tells us the US military is going to an island infested by dinos, with a nothing to see here attitude, This is followed by another sizeable woman walking around in a forest. She says something I can't make out. (Let me quote my brain: "what the heck".) Sees the dinos, stays as cool as it gets. I like campy horror movies but this is goes beyond to stupid. Loved Plan 9 from Outer Space, The Bloob, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Rocky Horror Picture Show the ORIGINAL (had a crush on the Sweet Transvestite,) I actually ordered it from the UK, before it was even available in the US. (Very Pricey.) This movie is NOT campey, it is plain stupid. If you are into big boobs, go for it.

Monster Grizzly (2023)

Yeah, I know most people will not like it.

[8/10 · 12 January 2024]

It so happens I am not one of those people. Maybe because I live in the middle of nowhere, where walking among trees in the middle of winter is as realistic as it gets in this movie, for people like me. We don't get to see what we would expect in a movie of that name, but I don't care. It's a very low key movie that most people will not get. I had a lot of fun during the scene where the pretty young woman is hitting on the old guy, until he finally gets it. LOL Her explanation is something I understand being a retired psychologist. Men have changed a lot throughout the years. (Don't want to offend guys, if you are watching this movie, it doesn't apply to you.) LOL.

First Contact (2023)

I laughed, due to the "8 star" movie.

[2/10 · 11 January 2024]

Let me quote the one review I found: "thank the Great people at "Uncork'd Entertainment" for sending me this screener to share my review with you." Right below there is a place where you agree of disagree (with the 8 star review). It seems that we, except from the person who posted the quoted sentence, pushed the disagree botton. I'll pretend this movie was not called First Contact, heck even I had a contact, not recently but when I was 16, almost 61 years ago. There were the original Foo Fighter (not the awesome group, I'm an old rocker) but the ones that showed up during WWII, that Military pilots agreed to having seeing them. Heck, Columbus reported lights in the sky in his journals, while in the waters of what is now Puerto Rico. Then the boyfriend of girl taking shower, eyes turned strange the morning after something in the sky. Sorry have to go laugh some more. I gave it an extra point for making me laugh.

Where the Devil Roams (2023)

Talk about different!

[9/10 · 7 January 2024]

This is as twisted as any movie can get. Completely different experience, watching it. Took me back to the 1800's and forward to when the freak shows finally ended. Not that I'm that old but old enough to have watched some of those insane movies in the 1950's (mostly in the middle of the night when only somewhat warped people would watch them). I agree with one of the reviewers comments: "Like a puzzle that may not look like it is fitting together... it totally makes sense". Yes I got what the person meant. Not for the faint of hear. At times, I was not sure I would watch to the end, but I did and glad of it.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)

Really enjoyed this movie, so did my daughter.

[10/10 · 27 December 2023]

As soon as I read the reviews by Rotten Tomatoes, I knew I had to see it. Let just say that they and I NEVER agree. This was a fun movie, with great special effects. Among other things, I enjoyed how they managed to include bits and pieces of other movies that fall under my category of all time favorites. Starting with the not so subtle iconic bar scene from Star Wars. Not just that, they included music from the sixties and seventies among others. I'm old (just shy of 77 and my daughter is 50) so we noticed. There were bits of comedy, always great when people that make movies do not take themselves too seriously. Lets "complain" about a not huge turn out when it was released in December 22, when people are doing last minute traveling to see family, shopping and preparing for Christmas. Let me say it again, great special effects. Add to that two main actors that I am fan of. Only thing, Atlantis was a bit more east of the US than in the final scene. I guess that was one of the outposts. Lol.

Final Summer (2023)

I had hopes for this movie since it's a current movie.

[1/10 · 21 December 2023]

I know camp counselors in horror movies are supposed to be down right stupid, but this one goes to extremes. I would give a zero in intelligence to these characters and the person who wrote the story. Let me add, most are such cowards that pity for the next victim. Plenty of chances to help each other, heck, but why bother, it doesn't occur to any there is strengh in numbers. Then there is a thing called closing doors, a concept too advanced for these brainless people. You would think that some would have at some time in the past watched a summer camp horror movie. Super predictable ending. What a waste of time.

Intersect (I) (2020)

I would have given it a 1 1/2 but that's not an option.

[2/10 · 18 December 2023]

I read what it was supposed to be about and thought: interesting. I have nothing against romance (actually I do) I guess I left the whole Romeo and Juliet, back in Junior High. That's not to say that I was not a fan of Shakespeare because I was and am. Ask me to quote Mark Anthony's speech, that I learned around 60 years ago. You don't want to ask me? Friends, Romans, Countrymen lend... etc. By minute eleven, I was thinking "wet balcony scene". "He made me what I am today" in cemetery. "No, no" while tenderly holding head. "You'll be okay, you'll be okay." Talk about a tear jerker movie! A reviewer refer to this as "Lovecraftian". What? Is there a new generation Lovecraft? Taking into account how much I laughed, I have no idea where that person got that from, at least he gave it a 3. LOL.

Wonka (2023)

Just got home after viewing the new Willy Wonka movie.

[10/10 · 17 December 2023]

I really like the original from 1971, took my two small children to watch it when it first came out. Just came home with my now 50 year old daughter from watching it in our local movie theater, that was recently renovated, and was around then. We both loved this version. I can't imagine how some people could give it rather low ratings. It was perfect. The young man playing a young Willy was great, liked the other actors also. Huge improvement from the Johnny Deep version. Perfect movie for young kids, nothing in the movie that was offensive. Plan to buy it, although I'm now almost 77. I hope that if there is a sequel it be just as good.

Children of the Night (2023)

Expected a horror movie due to movie poster.

[3/10 · 13 December 2023]

That is not exactly what I got. Lets just say it had a very unexpected twist. I do NOT like romance movies and this one spent more time in the oh, so obvious romance. Yes, there are war scenes like in the poster and people get killed like in real wars. (I was born and raise in the military, in a military family that is now in it's 81 year, so no problem with that.) To each its own, but sorry, that's as high as I go starwise due to the surprise. Next time more time into a very interesting poster and a lot less with the surprises. Dracula must be rolling around in his tomb. I need a few characters. Happy New Year.

Hunting Souls (2022)

Talk about so called "horror" movie! It is so silly I was amazed (in a bad way)!

[2/10 · 12 December 2023]

The evil entity was slimy enough and looked rather similar to many other actually scary monsters. The young child was the best actor of the bunch. (Great under water scene, which is why I gave it a two. Not a spoiler.) Child also showed superior intelligence at 1 hour 23 minutes. I don't know who she inherited her brain from, certainly not the parents. Maybe she was adopted. This could be a sort of spoiler: A ROPE, what? I have seen a few thousand horror movies in my almost 77 years, fan since I was allowed to see my first one when I was 10 and that was a first, you will know what I mean, if you make it that far. As expected in a horror movie, plenty of dead people, mostly due to stupidity. I watched the whole thing so I could review it fairly.

Door in the Woods (2019)

Can't believe that quite a few people like this movie!

[2/10 · 20 November 2023]

I did not. The only saving grace was the psychic: rather (actually more than a lot cheesy, but perfect for a movie of the 1960's. Oh, wait this is not the 60's. I especially did not like the ending, talk about evil self centered couple. Unfortunately I can't talk about the ending without making it into a huge spoiler. One person compared it to a "fairytale"??? How?? Unless that fairy tale is about trolls and other evil entities. The kid and father characters were sort of okay, but the mother wins my award for one of the worse actresses in a movie. And I have been watching horror movies for the last 68 years.

Artifacts of Fear (2023)

Great start, creepy-funny, then comes story one....

[3/10 · 18 November 2023]

And then here we are at a study of scared faces by female, who must have an IQ of 20. Pull hair, open mouth wide, etc, heck actress could have been perfect for the silent movies in the very early 1900's. "We.. what happened to the girl" says the main character who is not part of story one; I ask myself the same question. Story two, dead woman on ground and I couldn't stop laughing, heck I have a dress mannequin that looks more real. Then the witch has both a male and female voice, what? Lol. How do you rate a movie that was campy, which I really like and lousy which I really hate. I decided to give it a seven thank to the store owner, and the two dummies looking for something scary. LOL.

The Watchers (I) (2022– )

Let me stop laughing.

[1/10 · 14 November 2023]

Maybe I should not be reviewing this series, taking into account what I mentioned above. Okay, I'm ready to review this. First impression of the guy who plays Archangel Michael: that must be Satan, he sure looks like a member of the Hells Angels motocycle club. I guess I was stereotyping, my fault. LOL Nope, he is not that really nice, good looking angel I know as Michael. I first met him, I mean the real one, when I was delived with no signs of life close to 77 years ago. He is laughing. (Right now I'm really not joking, he's saved my life many times. And no, I don't think I'm some special human being) Then the bad guy is portrait as a stereotype gay person. Since he mentions brother, he must be a fallen angel. I wasn't looking for this video on Tubi, it just showed up. If you are ultra "conservative" go for it. Me, I found it offensive from the very start.

The Devil Comes to Kansas City (2023)

Very violent but I really enjoyed it.

[9/10 · 25 October 2023]

I really did not expect this would be the type of movie it turned out to be. I saw the title and the word crossroad and the first thing that occurred to me was Robert Johnson. He died nine years before I was born, but as an almost young adult, I not only heard a recording of him playing the guitar and singing but I became a fan. You add crossroad and devil, so I thought the movie was about him. Turned out to be a whole lot more violent that I expected, not my type of movie, but I made an exception. Glad I did. He was indeed mentioned but not in the way I thought. If you don't like a LOT of violence, this is not the movie for you, but I grew up watching horror movies, so it was fine with me.

The Door (IV) (2014)

What a waste of potential!

[2/10 · 25 September 2023]

This movie had almost all it takes to make it a really creepy movie. BUT what a waste of time. The leading man had the IQ of a 6 year old. He is hired to do the simplest of jobs possible. Sit on chair, keep eye on door, don't let anyone in. (Except when the boss calls and tells you it's okay to open it.) Pals decide to visit him and have a party because girlfriend wants to be with him on his very first day in the job. Then they walk around, guess what happens. It had the right atmosphere, and the creepy location but I was ready to fall asleep thanks to the plot. Most repeated sentence: "Did you hear that?" Answer: mostly NOT. It got interesting at the end but by then I was sick and tired of the movie.

Down the Road (2023)

This could have been a good movie

[3/10 · 20 September 2023]

Number one for me: I hate movies with constant piano music, unless it's a musical. It makes zero sense to me. I guess that person playing the piano put money into this movie, for his/her piano to be featured, as the main character. This could have been a much better movie, if it made sense. Unfortunately, I can't say much since it would fall under spoiler. Let just say the director or person who wrote this could have made sense if it had been some fairytale, or a space-time continuum. The movie was convoluted with a "what the heck ending". To be honest, the main character acted like he was high in the sky, but he was not, he was a good kid. As to his best friend, no school I ever attended would have allowed him to keep his face covering, but schools have changed a LOT. Lol.

Marrowbone (2017)

I'm 76 and have been a fan of horror movies for the last 67 years.

[10/10 · 14 August 2023]

I wasn't a fan earlier because kids were not allowed in the theater for viewings of horror movies. I did sneak in through the back door my first time. This movie falls under the category of one of the best horror movies I have watched. This is a combination of the really good British and Spanish (as in Spain) movies. Lots of gore but mostly you don't see it, you just fill in the blanks. I like that. I'm also a retired psychologist, among other things, so I appreciate the fact that it's not all that it seems. Really liked the acting in this movie. Will I watch it again, in the not too immediate future? You can bet on it. I'm sure there were a some details that I missed. By the way, if you are into stupid horror movies, you will not like this one.

1962 Halloween Massacre (2023)

13 Minutes in and I could not take this.

[2/10 · 7 August 2023]

The movie has massacre in the title. That's exactly what I wish had happen to all the characters in this film by minute 13. It was a brain massacre by then, as in mine brain getting ready to explode. I gave it 2 because at least one of the women was trying to get them to shut up. What did I learn, some, if not all were spoiled brats with chauffeurs and security guards. That alone made me hope they would have a slow and agonizing death. Of course, I had to keep from laughing. I went to law school with that type of "daddy is so rich, etc" Most managed to flunk the bar exam and some how ended up lawyers. How? No need to say: daddy. At least the characters came up as equally stupid. They got that part right.

The Tunnel (I) (2011)

This movie had a lot of potencial.

[3/10 · 5 August 2023]

Too bad the people who filmed this made it as boring as possible. I lost count of how many times they kept repeating "Tangle" (a character's nickname), while running back and forth. I've watched plenty of monster in a tunnel movies. The premise is basically the same: homeless people live in tunnel, something is killing them or maybe they decided that going back home was not as bad as they thought (sarcasm). I have enjoyed a few of them, but they did have at least some semblance of monster entity in the loose who would attack and or kill multiple characters. Of course the person who was responsible for what happened, kept running around while I was hoping idiot person would end up dead. To be honest didn't bother to see the ending, poor Tangle he got tangled with the wrong pals.

Hotel Dunsmuir (2022)

Can't believe the rating this movie received, really?

[9/10 · 29 July 2023]

I been watching horror movies for more than 64 years and this one falls into the second highest rating I have given horror movies as in a 9. I guess there was not that much killing actually shown, or maybe people were watching a different movie. I found the characters to be pretty close to what you would expect from a psychotic individual with a very young wife. "I've told you to call me daddy" while exhibiting (unknown to her) to his war buddies. The kind of low life now being focused on by a very recent movie. Turns out she has a limit of the abuse she is willing to take, which turns her courageous. Then there is the person she takes along. Really liked this movie.