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Reviews
Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)
Great if you like camp. Or if you're a 10-year old boy.
In the late 80s into early 90s, my friends and I were all in fine arts departments at UCLA; these classes had quarter-long curriculum that you then had to demonstrate competency in through some giant project. The end result were most of us were up for 4-10 days straight going from final to final turning in huge models, films, dissertations, canvasses, etc., and would end the term in a state of collapse. My loyal and trusty bestie Phred and I would walk straight from our last class to Westwood, where we would get several dozens of beers, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a Godzilla movie. Whereupon we would walk home where we would use Mexican sativa and Lucky Beer to set the stage for laughing ourselves into a state of spasm-inducing belly laughter to the point of drooling at tiny twins singing at a giant moth.
If this sounds like nostalgic fun to you, then you will love this movie.
Also, the villian looks like Christian Bale had a baby with William DaFoe.
Also also, it has boobs.
Citadel (2023)
disappointing - for a Russo project
I mean perhaps they had no hands on this and it's merely their production company that put this out, but in that case they shouldn't pitch it using their names.
I like the actors involved, but they don't have much to work with here. This is derivative and unimaginative. I felt like i was watching Alias from the 90s again...
if amazon is striving to make mainstream crud to rival the networks' bland offerings, versus the cable channels' finer products, they're right on track. As much as i'd like to support them and these actors, there was nothing about the first episodes that made me want to continue investing time in this :(
Fantastic Four (2015)
I get all the complaints but am hopeful
MILD SPOILERS INCLUDED.
I'll start by saying I worked in entertainment for almost 2 decades and that despite being a comic book fan growing up I never read FF. I also didn't think the 2005 version was as bad as most people thought it was, but again didn't know the source material to feel violated.
A few comments to add to all the (redundant) complaints others have mentioned.
First, who cares if they change a character's race. Along the same line many are complaining about Reed being portrayed as a nerd - I didn't get that at all. Just because he was smart didn't make him a dork. What WAS a problem with him was his out-of-nowhere becoming a badass in the middle of the fight when the more experienced Thing was down. Didn't work.
Second, while my experience was that the lack of chemistry was the biggest issue, I know that can also come from crappy editing. Given the bad pace of the movie I tend to suspect this. Ultimately, of course, it's the director's fault.
Third, one of the biggest problems I had was a result of bad trailers and the abrupt ending of the movie. There were scenes in the trailers that seemed to show them, as a team, on some sort of a mission - something about Thing diving out of a helicopter while Reed estimated his landing time. Imagine my surprise when the movie stopped short WITH NO MISSION. I half wondered if there was another half-hour of movie after the credits. So take everyone else's shock with the sudden, anticlimactic ending and double it for me.
I will stay hopeful for the sequel since Fox will most assuredly can Trank. And because I like these actors and want to give them a shot.
Beyond (2014)
This Is Not Your Little Brother's Sci-Fi Film, but It's Good
It has to be near-impossible to have the job of writing a one- sentence, intriguing byline for a movie like this that also doesn't spoil the story line.
Then people go to the movie expecting Transformers VII and get a fascinating, beautifully character-oriented film like this and are either 1) angry because they're action / explosion fans or 2) upset because they had different expectations - even if they end up liking the film.
If they marketed it as a relationship film, people who went for Sleepless in Seattle would be angry about the sci-fi. It's a no-win scenario for this type of script.
I'd have to argue that it's properly billed as sci-fi in that the circumstances create the context for the story to unfold as it does, and they are "sci-fi" circumstances.
In my mind this movie was very similar to Monsters, which was also mis-marketed and was a beautiful character-driven film.
If you liked films like Monsters or Solaris (Clooney) then you'll probably enjoy this film's pace and themes.
Whiteout (2009)
I wanted to like this...
As an example of how much I wanted to like it, I hate cop movies and cop shows - so I was working hard to appreciate this one.
**POSSIBLE SPOILER HERE** The other reviewers have hit many nails on the head, but the nail in the coffin for me was a stupid character choice with no possible motive.
After the first action scene, the "suspicious cop" wants them to leave a location to go investigate a science station - right after the protagonist has been attacked by a murderer! This is without a doubt one of the stupidest and least-convincing character decisions I've ever been asked to buy into. Bad guy kills other guy with an ice ax, tries to kill female Marshall - and is presumably still on location (since there wasn't an extra plane on their arrival that is now missing) and the cop shows no interest in investigating...
Still better than reality TV, but man oh man.
M