Change Your Image
robert-durant-626-472948
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Robinson Crusoe (2016)
Doesn't even qualify for the bargain bin at Roses
In all the years I've been watching movies in the theater I've never once found a movie bad enough that I forced myself to get my money back and leave. Had I not had my daughter with me today to see this I would have broken that promise.
I went into this thinking "hey Rio meets Robinson Crusoe" with funny animals. My kid would like it and I'd be entertained. NOPE!!! By the way did anyone else see the trailer for this and think this was Rio 3 but with a red bird? This looked like something that had a lot of potential going into it and that quickly died the moment i started checking my watch.
Somebody must have been scammed out of their money for this to get a theatrical release because it barely qualifies as Netflix only kind of movie. The animation is passable but other than that it's just not worth your time or money. Studio Canal and nWave made a much better a movie a few years ago, "The House of Magic" that by far is a hundred times better than this and I didn't have to pay anything to see that, in fact it's on Netflix RIGHT NOW.
There were no funny jokes, repetitious dialogue, multiple endings that made this thing go on and on and on. Save your money or pay for something much better. If you have to see this wait for Netflix but other than that it's completely avoidable.
Escape Dead Island (2014)
Without a doubt one of the biggest pieces of garbage ever made!!!!
Woo boy, where to do I begin with this? Let me start of by saying I love playing the Dead Island games. The original game and "Riptide" are fun as hell, they give you that honest feeling that you are trapped on this island with the walking dead and the games are certainly not boring in any way. If you are not killing zombies or gangs in occupied buildings, you've always got something to do that helps move the story along. I could go on talking about how great those games are but everything good I could say about them is completely the opposite of what became of "Escape Dead Island".
"Escape Dead Island" ranks right up there with some of the worst games ever made if not topping them. I have never played such a broken, boring, frustrating, and flat out pointless piece of crap in my life than this game. The story makes no sense, the game play ranges from boring as hell to absolutely frustrating, the graphics are terrible, the comic-book style of the game is headache-inducing, the characters are annoying, and the dialog is worse than a Uwe Boll movie. Add the fact that the game freezes your system again and again (it froze my system 3 times in one night) which makes me question how much time the designers actually spent on testing this thing. You'll be walking through a room with no zombies in and then suddenly a dozen of them will appear out of nowhere, even from the sky.
As I said before the story makes no sense, your character has hallucinations throughout the game which seem to have no rhyme or reason to them so you don't know what is going on until you make it to the very end of the game only to find out, SPOILER ALERT, your character is crazy. Plus the designers decided to throw in a little twist at the end revealing that your character is stuck in a time loop that reverts back to the beginning of the game. Why this was put in a game where you are fighting legions of the living dead makes no sense because it completely nullifies the entire point of playing the game.
You get about 4 weapons in this game, all of which are utterly useless because none of them work any better than the first one. At one point you get a freaking' Katana sword that turns out to be of no more use to you than a butter knife.
I could go on and on with this but I think I've said enough, please for the love of God avoid this game at all costs. Do not buy it or even rent it. It is an insult to gaming, an insult to the D.I. franchise and should be erased from existence.
Olympus Has Fallen (2013)
Yeah it's "Die Hard" meets "Air Force One" but it ROCKS!!!
We don't get many hard hitting action movies like this anymore. Bad guys who mean serious business, the lone hero determined to win the day, people get killed, stuff blows up, and you get to see Ashley Judd die.
What kind of red-blooded all American doesn't like seeing this kind of movie? Of course its not realistic, find an action movie that is. The whole point of a movie like this is to escape FROM reality, to shut your brain off for a couple of hours and have some fun.
And yeah its pretty much Die Hard meets Air Force One but who cares its all about the excitement, seeing whats going to happen next. The only downside I had was that it was a little too obvious who the traitor was in the movie (I mean come on isn't he always a bad guy). Overall I give the movie a solid 10 out of 10. It's exactly what an action movie should be, it gives you the jumps, the thrills, a hero to root for and a villain you love to hate. If you think a movie like this isn't for you I suggest you watch a Twilight movie, it doesn't have Gerard Butler killing terrorists....but it does have a sissy that sparkles.
The Peacemaker (1997)
Feels like a poor man's 007 movie.
Mimi Leder's "The Peacemaker" tells the story of a group of terrorists who hijack a train carrying a payload of nuclear warheads traveling through southern Russia. They set one of the nukes off as a getaway diversion, making everyone else believe the blast was an accident. However a nuclear weapons specialist and an army colonel begin to piece together the truth and before you know it they are hot on the trail of the rest of the warheads while a larger attack in a highly populated area is being planned.
Every time I watch this movie I can't help but feel like this is a poor man's 007 movie. It's almost as if this were the kind of plot they would have suggested to Pierce Brosnan at the time but he turns it down and they get George Clooney for the lead role and just change the characters. It's not a particularly bad movie but it does have its flaws, notably in the special effects in some scenes. Clooney is OK as Tom Devoe, sometimes he comes off a little too arrogant and cocky for his character. Now on the other hand you have Nicole Kidman playing the weapons specialist out of D.C. and I don't know why but she is absolutely gorgeous in this film. She is definitely more credible as her character than Denise Richards was in "The World Is Not Enough". There is a some good drama to the story particularly from the man behind the terrorist plot, you get a sense of what could drive the guy to do what he is doing.
Overall not a bad movie, it's a good way to kill a few hours on a weekend and it gives you a good reason to think about Nicole Kidman as a redhead.
The Core (2003)
Did people forget this IS a movie?!?
Group of scientists travel to the core of the Earth to somehow restart it again after it has stopped spinning. Chaos ensues, stuff blows up, and Stanley Tucci is funny. Eckhart, Swank, Lindo, Tucci, Karyo, and Greenwood are a good team as they attempt to save the world from a catastrophe that may or may not be an accident at all.
And for those of you who gripe about the scientific accuracy of the film....well if Hollywood can make us believe that Bruce Willis and a bunch of oil drillers can be turned into astronauts in less than two weeks, fly to an asteroid and blow it up a mere 5 seconds before its too late then I'll believe anything that happens in The Core.
On Deadly Ground (1994)
Seagal is Captain Planet on steroids!!
Back in the day I used to love this movie, I always thought it was one of Seagal's better films back when he was at least a respectable action star. I didn't realize at the time how much of an ego-fest this movie really is for Seagal. This film is a bad attempt at making an environmental message out of an action flick, laced with Seagal trying his best to out bad-ass himself at every turn. You know a movie is bad when you have your character flown in to a burning oil rig just to press a button.
Anyway Seagal does some work for this oil company which it turns out has been using faulty equipment on its rigs including the newest rig which is about to go fully operational. Seagal finds out whats going on but the bad guys try to kill him, they fail, he escapes, gets in touch with his inner spirit, loads up on enough weapons to orbit Arnold Schwarzenegger (yeah I know), kills a few dozen people, blows up the rig, then ends the film with a nice message about working together to save the environment. Okay, whatever.
Like I said Seagal uses every chance he can to show us how much of a bad-ass he can be which is just laughable when it happens. Michael Caine stars as the stereotypical greedy CEO of the oil company who comes off so evil he might as well be a Bond villain at this point. There are a few OK action scenes and a couple of funny one-liners but otherwise a forgettable movie and the only one that Seagal would direct. If you are a die-hard Seagal fan and you have to see this movie, go ahead but otherwise its totally passable.