Change Your Image
sadisticlopez
Reviews
The Pumpkin Karver (2006)
The Worst "Movie" I Have Ever Seen
The only reason i gave it a 3 was because it made for a fun night amongst friends dissecting this horrible waste.
The story is uninspired so is the directing, acting, writing, casting. Horrible film. The only good thing in it was the Jessica Alba look-alike and the old man. The film makes no logical sense. By the end you are so frustrated because the characters all go running around calling for "Jonathan" in the most obscure places like a silo, the woods, out-houses, and over all creepy places. The killings are quick and have no tie in with the "film." The people you want to see die don't die and the ones that don't deserve to die (the Jessica Alba look-alike) die. The Jonathan character spends the whole movie crying or worrying. This film is to be avoided. Yes, it is fun to watch REALLY bad movies and make fun of them, but this is so BAD that it really should be avoided for you may become violent at the stupidity being presented to you.
Chinatown (1974)
30 years and still standing the test of time.
This is one of those rare movie that everything from the political climate, dialog and even the most minute things like clothing, still stay prevalent.
Jack gives a true leading actor performance here. Faye is pathetically subtle in one of the best performances ever given by a woman (top 5).
What this film for the performances, the writing, the directing or to hear the word "dyke" in a 1970's film (hey i didn't know that word was around back then).
My #2 favorite film of all time King Kong still has me mesmerized (1930).
The Island (2005)
Incredibly imaginative and original...
Eh, so not really but i needed a good tag line.
The film stars McGregor as a clone who discovers a horrible secret. He flees the facility in which he is being kept with the hottest woman in the world, um i mean Johansen. They escape the facility and go into the real world which supposedly did not exist. There they find out that they are clones of people living in the city in which they have arrived in, Johansen's character a supermodel and Mcgregor an engineer.
This was a really fun, good, smart movie. I can't believe it made under 15million on opening weekend. That is so wrong. People need to give this film a chance. The highway scene which rivals "The Matrix 2" should be reason enough.
So if you ever have a chance, watch it and feel horrible as i did for not seeing it as it should have been, in the theatre's.
Haute tension (2003)
Could have been a great Horror entry, if only for that damn ending.
This movie could have easily been an 8 or even a 9, but that ending ruined it for me.
Please i beg of you if you catch this in the theaters walk out once "The Man" has been killed and make up your own ending. Because honestly anything you can imagine as an ending is better than that half assed ending they tried to feed us.
Do editors don't stop and say "This does not make sense?" I would have loved to be sitting down next to this editor or the editor to "Hide and Seek" another movie which suffered from a horrible "plot twist." Anyway i would of like to be sitting next to the editor, better yet the writer and maybe knock some sense into them. The plot hole in this movie is so vast that all you do is think "what how can this happen?" And it isn't even a logical/feasible plot twist like in "The Others" this twist left so many questions that once answered you will hate the movie and who ever made it.
Okay now onto my review of the movie.
The movie starts out when two best friends, i must stop here. Some reviews will say that they are a lesbian couple, but last time i checked a couple are two individual who are dating/like each other in THAT way/are having sex and oh yeah are BOTH attracted to each other. In this film only one girl is a lesbian so don't buy into the whole lesbian thing. Getting back, they head over to the straight girls parents home in the French country side. Once there the movie gets on to its gorry glory.
A creepy guy in a creepy truck pulls up and starts killing everyone. Even the little boy (what a sicko, but the kid annoyed me so... off with his head. No he does not decapitate a the 5 year old, just shots him with a shot gun.) The father gets his head cut off with an armoir. The moms throat is slit all while the lesbian is watching. The killings are all very gory i just didn't enjoy the over use of blood, ala Kill Bill. Instead of making things scarier the sprinkler of blood just added humor to the whole mess.
The straight girl is kidnapped and so is the lesbian girl (she gets in the van with her and the killer does not realize it.) There is a really nifty scene in a gas station "maybe if i burn down the god-damned gas station, you'll be able to find it" loved that line.
So there is a great face off between the lesbian girl and the fat killer and she f's him up real good.
Then we find out that the killer was the lesbian girl all along, yeah don't make much sense does it, especially with that trailer they have fooling everyone.
So in great Texas Chainsaw Massacre the killer who goes back from being the lesbian and fat killer at will comes after the girl of his/her dreams with the mother of all chainsaws.
So yeah this movie will make no sense if you stick around till the end. You best bet is to stop watching when the lesbian kills the f-er.
Sin City (2005)
This movie was beyond bad.
This film made as much sense as well... i can't think if an example it was THAT BAD.
There was no coherent connection to this film. You could walk into the last 5 mins of this film and still be as confused as if you watched the whole thing.
The only connection the characters have is that SOME of them were at a bar at the same time. This nothing for the i would say 900 stories okay so it was only like 3 stories this movie tries to tell.
The only thing is that while that is great and all the stories are never finished instead you get to see three stories in one movie that have no connection other than the same actor to open and close the film.
While it was visually stunning, this took away from the violence. I was stoic towards every violent slash of blood in this film because at times the setting was so dark or so colorful. i.e. Yello Bastard end scene that one could barely identify blood and violence with 'Oh that's not blood its probably some stylistic thing." I am really bumbed out. I had such high hopes for this film. I give it 4****'s.
Party Monster (2003)
God, awful movie.
From the music, to the costumes, to the make-up, to the lighting, to the camera movements, to the ACTING. This could be the worst movie ever made.
What juicy parts for real actors and they were totally wasted.
Maculy(sp) is the worst actor i have ever seen on film. OMG this movie was so bad that i could not take my eyes off of it.
It was like an acting class on how not to act.
You simply must see this train wreck.
Worst movie ever, those "party kids" lived such horrible lives, woah they needed to die. SERIOUSLY
Cursed (2005)
Only Wes Craven can make you want to kill yourself.
I went to see this movie because the ad's look really good. I mean i couldn't wait to see this movie. Now that i have seen this piece of trash i wish i could sue the marketing department behind this movie.
I love, love, Christina but why on earth would she spend he talents on this film? So many talented actors were subjected to some of the stupidest lines i have ever heard in a big Hollywood movie, ie. (She's cooko for cooco puffs) This is possibly the worst movie of the year.
I had forgotten how horrible of a director Wes Craven was. I have been seeing a lot of scary movies because i am a fan of the genre. But unfortunately Mr. Craven was not let in on the secret that the less screen time the "Monster" gets the scarier the movie is. This is possibly the worst movie of the year.
I rated this movie a 3, but only because it was funny. I did not pay to see a comedy, but that's what i got.
I still can't believe this is taking up space in movie theaters. What ever you do stay away from this movie.
Wes Craven and who ever wrote this movie have proved to be one of the worst working "professionals" in the entertainment industry. I can't believe this man(Wes) is still being allowed to direct. I think he should direct comedies, he'd be great a that all his horror films are funny and really bad, like a good comedy.
The whole movie just felt cheap, from the obscure metal bands, to the look of the movie looked like a cheap porno.
Please stay away from this crap.
Wes Craven, please don't direct anything else, EVER!!!
Thanks.
Oh yeah, the dog in the movie was really cute, he out acted the entire cast. And oh yeah did i mention that this is probably the worst movie of the year. Um... maybe the worst movie since Scream 3.
Millions (2004)
A thought provoking gem.
This has got to be the best feel good movie i have ever seen. I took my little brother to this and he loved it and so did i you do not have to be a little kid to enjoy this film.
There are some times where the film is horribly frightening, but not too scary for lets say a 10 year old.
The little boy who plays Damien was absolutely magnificent. His performance was so beautiful, pure and subtle. That i had forgotten i was watching a child act.
I encourage everyone to go out and check this movie out because this is truly one of the very best films i have ever seen.
A beautiful story with heart that anyone can enjoy.
Coach Carter (2005)
Great Film
I went to a screening of this and i truly did not want to go. I though i was going to hate this movie, but i must say i loved this film. The story is so rich and greatly drawn out. The only problem i had was that i din't know whether i was in Chicago, NY or LA, the film took a long time to establish its location. Other than that it was an amazing movie with great performances some sucked yeah but they were some stand out kids in this ensemble.
At the end of the screening everyone clapped and through the film people were cheering and clapping. This is a great family film cause it have a great message behind it.
Love, Ludlow (2005)
A great film with brilliant performances.
This Official Sundance Film Festival Selected film was screened in Novemeber and i must say i really enjoyed it.
It is a story about a girl(Myra) who lives with her "shut in" brother(Ludlow) amazingly acted by Brendan Sexton. She gets a "boyfriend" and decides to bring him home. Ludlow is very jealous by this and throws a fit, everything goes to hell from there. Ludlow is about 19? 20? Age was never specified but he is a totally grown up man who acts like a 5 year old.
This film is a romantic comedy with just the right touch of drama, i.e (cemetery scene).
I strongly recommend this film to anyone who loves the little independent films or just great movies in general.