StacyOnEarth Reviews

Stay Hungry (1976)

A engaging trip for neo-classic movie fans

[6/10 · 13 May 2010]

Short and simple, "Stay Hungry" kept my attention - that is, until the hokey, silly and very disappointing ending.

But up to that point, I was a pure movie fan: watching a young, hot- looking Jeff Bridges as country-club son, looking for his way after losing his parents, I was fascinated as I compared him to the 2010 Oscar Winner for "Crazy Heart." Catching Sally Field in one of her earliest film roles as an emotionally labile gym employee, I was impressed and even blushed a little during a brief nude scene, as I thought of the matriarch currently staring in ABC's "Brothers and Sisters." Roger E. Mosley (T.C. from "Magnum, P.I.") was funny in a supporting role; A young Robert Englund reminded me that he was an actor before he was Freddy Kruger; and a host of other actors that I only know from old TV shows (Fannie Flagg, Ed Begley, Jr. and Joanna Cassidy) put me in trivia heaven.

But it was Ah-nold...Arnold Schwarzenegger who truly surprised me, playing an attractive, low-key, approachable role as an aspiring body builder. There was nothing over-the-top or kitchy about his performance, and I enjoyed every scene he was in. If you can forgive the hokey ending (which made me think of a cheesy Gay Pride parade, although I'm sure that was unintentional), then you can really enjoy this movie.

If you don't enjoy catching actors from the 80's in their early years, might I suggest you be very bored, busy with other household activities and catching it on cable first - or else you'll just hate yourself afterward and wish for that time back.

Knowing (2009)

Questions to Review... (and Spoilers)

[6/10 · 30 August 2009]

WHY...? *Why did "The Stranger" freak out and torture people for 50-years, instead of just "whispering" the coordinates to the 'chosen people' around the time of the 'rescue?'

*Why didn't young Abby simply TELL people about these pending disasters over the next 50 years? She could have been the next Jean Dixon and would have become a billionaire many times over.

*Why did Abby only make ONE COPY of her letter, then put it in a place where no one would find it until - literally - DAYS before the end of the world? Did Abby actually WANT the world to end? When she hit her 20's or 30's, it didn't dawn on her that there were smart people in the world who might be able to decipher the letter?

*Were the other kids on the planet who found out about THEIR coordinates put through the same short time frame to figure it all out...with parents who probably weren't astronomers?

*Did Abby graduate from college...get a job...spend time in a sanitarium?

*Why did the NY subways look so fake, when the plane crash look so real? Did they run out of money?

*What were the rocks about...?

*Why couldn't the apocalypse simple be the END of the movie? That was the second coolest scene, behind the plane crash.

*Why aren't the actresses who played Abby/Lucinda and Diana related? Never have I seen a pair of actresses play relatives who looked SO much alike. It was impressive.

King of the Ants (I) (2003)

Straight to Cable: "King of the Ants"

[4/10 · 15 August 2009]

This was a crappy movie, with a whole lotta non-sense and too many loose-ends to count. I only watched this movie because one of my favorite actors (Ron Livingston) made a cameo in it, and I continued watching it because as a girl, I love any movie that includes male nudity for a change. Later, I found myself wondering just how much more ridiculous the storyline could get, and each time it got...more... ridiculous.

Sean Crawley (good-looking Chris L. McKenna, whom I've never seen before - but LOVED his little nude scene)is making ends meet as a painter, when he meets electrician Duke Wayne (George Wendt from "Cheers"). Thinking he's getting more work from Duke, Sean agrees to meet contractor Ray Matthews (Daniel Baldwin, playing a stereotypically evil guy). Ray is being investigated by a City Hall accountant (Ron Livingston in a cameo, who I've been in love with from "Office Space" up to "Sex & the City"). Ray end up offering the apparently desperate-for- cash Sean $13k to kill the accountant, and Sean accepts the job. Sean stalks out the accountant, whose wife (Kari Wuhrer) he finds himself attracted to, completes the hit, and leaves - taking the file of information against Ray with him. Sean quickly learns he was being used, that Ray never intended to pay him, and Sean uses the file as leverage to get his money.

Up to this point, it's a descent flick...generally worth watching. But as soon as Ray, Duke and their crew kidnap Sean to muscle the information about the file out of him, it just got dumber and dumber (and still DUMBER...), until finally it seemed like the film's writer, Charlie Higson, had snapped out of a 10-day writing hangover and realized he needed to desperately figure out how to wrap up the series of implausible messes he created before a deadline or something. Without simply detailing the movie, let's just say that in every-single-scene you watch after the kidnapping, you find yourself gasping "what the f**K!," baffled by the ongoing nonsense as Sean follows a fairly graphic and gross path towards redemption. In the end, so many loose-ends are left in the movie, that you begin to regret that you even watched it.

This is a movie that you should only watch after it hits cable, and you should have enough beer and friends around to mock the film to it's full value. It's supposed to be a psychological thriller, and McKenna is a decent actor, but it's hard to give yourself to the movie when you have "Norm" from "Cheers" and a Baldwin brother doing the dirty work, and a kidnapping strategy that really makes no damned sense. Guys will love the violence, blood and guts scenes, and the absolutely unnecessary sex scenes and boob shots. Girls will enjoy handsome Sean's gratuitous crotch shot in a mainstream movie, when its almost always the girls that get stripped down in a movie. Personally, I hate that the only actor worth watching for more than his looks (Ron Livingston) is only in the first one-third of the movie.

Fourplay (2001)

What the Hell was Firth Thinking...?

[3/10 · 11 December 2004]

Mike Binder must have had some kind of seriously serious blackmail-worthy information on Colin Firth. There is no other way to explain why he'd allow himself to complete a single scene in this film without walking right off and calling a lawyer.

I only decided to watch this movie because Firth was in it, and hoped for a smart film that would distract me with voyeuristic moments into American-English cross-culturalism. Instead, one improbable scene after another violently attacked my intelligence, as Bender starts an affair with Margeaux Hemingway, who's married to Firth, who falls for Bender's wife. Hemingway and Bender then try to bait their spouses into an affair, which they then regret, compounded by the fact the the spouses fall in love with each other.

The consistent nonsense of this film comes from the humanly improbable scenarios, and the pervasive personality disorders of each character with no context whatsoever. Firth apparently is trying to come across as a cuckold, who likes "letting off steam" by violently beating up unsuspecting(?) staff who consistently meet with him after work in a pub. No cops, no witnesses, no suing, no quitting - just violence then "see ya at work tomorrow." Bender is just an idiot writer whose interests, goals, motivations and drive seem to shift schizophrenically in every scene. His wife is a control freak he and Firth can't seem to get over, while Hemingway plays a neurotic narcissist actress that everyone keeps tolerating. The nuttiness of this movie is compounded by the attempt at a romantic ending, which only leaves you dazed, confused and convinced that you will regret having ever donated 2 hours of your life to this movie.

In the credits, Binder adds "This Movie is for Dyno, I Love You..." Dyno, if this is representative of Binder's love, then you need to develop an escape plan. And hopefully, you missed the film he dedicated to you.